Chapter 14 #2
After the show, everyone’s excited, talking about filming the scenes, and I feel left out.
I’m the only person here who isn’t an actor.
I’m not depressed about it. It makes sense.
His life is getting crowded and will soon crowd me out.
It won’t be purposeful. I don’t believe he wants to hurt me. It’s just how it goes sometimes.
I go out by the pool with a drink. There are a couple of other people out here, smoking cigarettes and talking. I recognize them as a couple of actors from the show.
“They’re definitely going to pick it up,” one of them says. “They’d be stupid not to.”
“It was good,” the other one admits. “All that extra stuff Devin made us do paid off, but… we still don’t know for sure.”
“Didn’t you see Brad and Austin? They’ll be the reason alone. They’re gonna carry this show right into Nielsen ratings history.”
The other one scoffs. “And what are you and me, chopped liver?”
“Come on, there always has to be a star.”
They finish their cigarettes and go inside.
I sink down in a deck chair and gulp down my drink.
Yes, there does always have to be a star.
Austin had a scene in the show where Todd is shown at home with this wife.
Todd and his wife had tension between them, they both played it off so well, sitting at a dinner table across from each other.
He was so good. The cynicism, the toughness, all of it so unlike him, but he was able to pull it off so authentically. He’s amazing.
The two of us one day living together was just a fantasy. A nice one, but only that. I need to get my own place. I’ve put it off long enough. There are real estate agents I could call. First, I’ll have to see what I’ve got in that account. It should be enough for a down payment at least.
“There you are.”
I look over at Austin standing beside me. “Here I am.”
He sits in the chair next to me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you.”
“I’m not clingy. I don’t need your attention every second.” I didn’t mean to sound so grumpy. “I mean that I didn’t think that you were ignoring me or anything. Just wanted some air.”
He stares at me for a long moment. “Are you sure?”
“Well, there was the fact that you looked really sexy in your cop uniform. I had to come out here and cool off.”
He laughs. Then he turns to me again. “I’m glad you’re here.” He pauses. “I want you here. I really do.”
If this is going where I think it’s going, I’ll have to say no. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but this was always going to be just a temporary thing, wasn’t it? I really was fooling myself.
Fooling myself right into falling in love with him.
“What?” Austin says.
“What?” I say.
“You were just looking at me weird.”
“Was I? Sorry.”
He smiles and glances behind us. “You want to go up to my bedroom?”
I smile. “Right now?”
“Sure.” He puts a hand on my knee. “No one will even notice we’re gone. They haven’t so far.”
“We don’t need to go upstairs.” I put my drink down and get on my knees in front of him.
He looks around, unbuttoning his pants while I situate myself between his knees. I suck his cock into my mouth, and he gasps, putting a hand on my head. I won’t want to give this up. I won’t want to give him up. The thought of anyone else getting to do this to him makes me feel homicidal.
I don’t know how much longer it’ll be before anyone notices he’s gone, so I suck him off quick, and he comes hard in my mouth. I’ve already stood up and he’s hardly gotten his dick back in his pants when Margie comes outside, looking for us.
We go back inside to rejoin the party and close the patio doors behind us with a click.
I decide to stop at the bank off Melrose.
Pete hasn’t hounded me about it, but I said I’d pay him back for the bail and rehab. I want to take care of that before I start looking for my own place. I don’t need that hanging over my head.
It’s not too busy and the line moves quick. I give the lady at the counter my account information. She comes back with a ledger.
“There doesn’t seem to be any money in the account,” she says. “Zero balance.”
Dread wraps around my insides.
“No.” I show her the account number again. “It’s this one.”
“Yes.” She points to a number and follows it along a line. “And that account doesn’t have a balance.”
“That’s not possible.”
“I’m sorry, sir. But it is.”
I almost want to pull the don’t you know who I am card, but I try to keep my voice even. There has to be some kind of mistake. Banks can make mistakes. “Is there a way to see the history on the account? If there were any withdrawals? And when?”
A look of annoyance crosses her features for a moment before she smiles brightly. “Of course. Give me a moment.”
I tap impatiently on the counter, my heart starting to pound because I don’t really need to see anything else. I know what happened. I just need the proof in front of my eyes.
The lady is gone a little longer this time, and when she returns, she plops a heavy book on the counter. She flips through carbon copies of bank slips until she finds what she was looking for.
“Here we are. Four thousand on February 11. Then there was—”
“This year?”
“Yes.” She reads. “Fifty-five hundred on January 7. This year. Eleven thousand three hundred on November 14, 1977.” She turns a page. “Eight thousand on October 1, 1977.”
She keeps reading, and with each one, I feel sicker and sicker. This is why he hasn’t been bothering me to pay him back. He knew all this time I had nothing to pay him back with. And he still had the audacity to bitch about the expense to me.
“Who?” I ask. “Who made them?”
She glances up at me as if chastising me for interrupting her again. “They all have the signature of the other person on the account. Peter Laden.”
I didn’t think about it, and I should have.
As soon as I was eighteen, I should have had his name removed immediately.
But even I didn’t think Pete would do something like this.
All that gambling he’s been doing… and he’s known this whole time that account was empty.
Was he planning on putting something in there so I wouldn’t know any different?
I abruptly turn and leave, hearing the teller call behind me if there’s anything else I need help with.
I get in the car, Pete’s car, and consider driving it to a cliff, putting a brick on the gas, and sending it over.
Or I could drive it right now to a dealership and sell it and pocket the money.
I could sell every single one of his cars and all that shit he’s got downstairs.
He stole from me, so I’ll just steal from him.
If he fucking hates me and doesn’t want me around, why would he take my money? Because now I don’t have the means to leave. He probably wasn’t thinking about me at all. Just himself. Just what he wanted.
Redondo Beach isn’t far of a drive, but I weave through traffic like a maniac and speed into the parking lot of the first casino I see.
I storm inside into cigarette smoke and slot machines.
I look for the blackjack tables and find him, sitting with Dan and a couple of girls. Neither of them is Tamar.
I storm over and knock the chips in front of him off the table. “You fucking thief!”
He spins around to look at me, his eyes bloodshot. “What the hell?”
“That was my money!”
He stands up, wobbling. “The hell’s wrong with you?”
“You took my money! You son of a bitch!”
He comes toward me. “What did you just say?”
I back up a few steps and almost trip. “It was mine. I earned it!”
“You’ve been living under my roof, eating my food, swimming in my pool, and driving my cars for the last three years. You should be grateful I haven’t kicked your worthless ass out!”
“You stole my money!”
He fists my shirt, pulling me toward him. “I took back what you owe me!”
Two security guards get in between us. I feel hands on me, tugging on my arm.
“All right, buddy. Let’s go.” They start pulling me toward the exit.
“I’m going to sue you!” I shout as they drag me away. “I’m gonna sue your fucking balls off, you asshole!”
Pete just glares at me with pure hatred. The security guards throw me out the door onto the sidewalk.
“Who do you think you are, pal?” one of them says. “That’s Pete Laden. You don’t mess with him.” Then it dawns on the guy. “Wait a sec. Are you his kid?”
I don’t answer. I get back in the car and drive off.
Tamar would have to know. If she does, she’s just as guilty as he is. I don’t care how pregnant she is, if she helped Pete steal my money, then I’m going to sue her too.
When I walk into the house, Sunny runs up to me.
“Mom’s taking me to get my ears pierced.”
I look over and see Tamar in front of the mirror in the hallway, sunglasses on her head, touching up her eyeliner.
“Guess you’re doing better,” I say.
She cuts her eyes over to me. “I’m going to spend the day with my daughter.”
Sunny stands on her tiptoes to look in the mirror too. “Can I get diamonds? All the other girls at school have little diamonds.”
Tamar puts on some lipstick. “You’re not getting real diamonds, Sunny.”
“Okay, then not real ones.”
“Sunny,” I say. “I need to talk to your mom for a second.”
“We’re getting ready to leave, Harvey,” Tamar says.
“Did you know?” I ask her.
She flicks her gaze over to me again. “What?”
“It’s all gone,” I say. “All of it.”
She looks back in the mirror. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think you do.”
She puts an arm around Sunny. “Want to go to Burger Chef?”
“Really?” Sunny says. “And I can get a cheeseburger with no cheese?”
“Of course.” She steers Sunny toward the door, walking right past me. “You can get whatever you want.”
She turns to give me a cold stare over her sunglasses before she goes out the door and closes it behind her.