36. Josh
Laying in bed, with my wife in my arms, I let out a weary sigh.
“You okay Joshy?” Claudia asked me, startling me because I thought she was sleeping.
She bloody should be sleeping.
Shifting us so we were facing each other, I gently pushed her hair away from her forehead, giving me an unencumbered view of her pretty blues. “You know you are going to be the death of me, right?”
“Honey, you love it when I keep you on your toes,” Claudia sassed, her eyes sparkling with mischief as usual. The swelling on her face was half it was when I first found her, and her eye was completely opened. Thank fuck.
God damn she is so fucking beautiful.
“I do love it gorgeous,” I agreed “I love your spirit, I love your sass and your independent streak, I love your impulsiveness, but what I don’t love is worrying about you twenty-four seven. I don’t love it when you leave the house without your phone or going off without letting me know,” I growled sliding my hand up to cup her neck.
“You and our baby are everything to me, I’m not going to stop worrying, I’m not going to stop making sure your feet are warm, that you wear your slippers around the house and take the stairs carefully.” Taking in a deep breathe, I let it all out.
“Sometimes I dream about the night we lost our baby, sometimes it is exactly how it happened and sometimes I dream that I lose not only our baby but you as well,” I admitted in a low shaky voice. Those dreams are the worst. Nightmares is a better term, sweat inducing nightmares.
“I wake up and immediately I seek you out, pull you into my arms and hold you so tight it’s a wonder you never wake up complaining. I know I can’t wrap you in cotton wool baby, and I would never demand you not do something. All I ask is you don’t forget I’m here too, I’m scared too, I’m desperate for this baby to be born too.”
I sounded like a pussy, but Claudia needed to understand a man could be affected about a loss as much as the woman. I was not suggesting that she didn’t just that she sometimes forgot.
Looking at me with wide wet eyes, Claudia let out a gasp then moved so she was laying on top of me, my hands instantly going around her holding her there.
Where she belonged.
“Josh, honey, I … didn’t mean … oh honey I’m so sorry,” she cried, caressing my jaw with her soft hand. Tears falling from the corner of her eyes making me feel like a heel for causing them.
“Claudia—” my words were stopped with her soft lips crashing to mine, warm and wet. My wife kissed me senseless for several minutes, the kiss was gentle almost like an apology.
Before I could take control Claudia pulled back and held my face in her palms.
“I don’t forget Josh, I know I am your obsession, the love of your life and I also know how badly you want to be a dad. I guess that impulse side you speak of sometimes gets me in trouble, like today,” she said a small smile at the corners of her mouth.
“I don’t want you to change baby, not a single bit, just make sure I know where you are every second of the day, fair?” I asked giving her my sexy smirk, the one that drove her wild in bed and angry when we weren’t.
Pretending to ponder over my request, my wife decided to barter with me instead of agreeing. “How about I let you know where I am if you calm down about the slippers because honey there are no splinters on our floors.”
It was my turn to pretend but I did not need long.
“I can live with that,” I allowed grinning, then turned serious again. “I am obsessed with you, and you are the love of my life Claudia Blessing-Gallow. You will always own me and my heart no matter how many times I have to save you and your sisters.”
I received a bite to the chin for that comment but when she soothed it with her slick tongue all was forgiven.
“I love you just as much Joshy, you are the other half of me,” she croaked, pressing her lips to mine not kissing just touching. After today I needed her touch.
“Now, how about we talk about what colour you are going to paint the nursey tomorrow?” she asked against my lips, hers curling into a huge smile.
“Seriously woman! Tomorrow?” I complained but inside I was happy as a pig in shit. If Claudia wanted the nursey painted, then that’s what she will get.
After all, happy wife, happy life.