Chapter 11
CALEB
I know exactly what I want.
I want a time machine so I can go back to that kiss and not freak out like the walking (running) disaster I am.
No, actually. If I had a time machine, I’d go back to that first day and not be a total dork when I met Dash.
Except I am a disaster and a dork, so what I really want is to go back and never go to the rink in the first place that day.
Or ever. In fact, as long as I’m righting past missteps, I might as well just go to a different college altogether.
Or no college. Maybe I could get my degree from a correspondence school.
Do those still exist? Whatever, degrees are overrated anyway.
I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a frustrated groan.
“Huh?” My roommate, Patrick, pulls an earbud from one ear and looks over from his desk. “Did you say something?”
“No. Sorry. Nothing.” I sigh.
Patrick pops his earbud back in and returns to the paper he’s writing, bopping along to whatever music he has playing.
Must be nice not to have completely humiliated yourself in front of the guy you thought was going to be your first boyfriend.
I groan again. Patrick turns and raises a questioning eyebrow. I shake my head. He shrugs and turns back to his laptop.
So now what?
I guess a more mature person might text Dash instead of lying in his bed staring at the ceiling. And say what though? Probably something stupid and embarrassing, and it would just be more humiliation. Oh yeah, and I never actually asked for his number, so I can't anyway.
I start to groan again, then stop myself before I accidentally catch Patrick’s attention again.
Okay, enough of this. Maybe I can distract myself. At least I can try.
I grab the well-worn copy of one of my favorite books, which I've been rereading lately. I settle back and pick up where I left off.
I love this story so much. These guys have real stakes. They aren't just worried about saying the wrong thing or embarrassing themselves. They're worried about their big, huge NHL careers. Everything they've worked for their whole lives. They go through so much to be together.
But…
But also, it takes them forever.
And mostly? They're just scared. I mean, they have good reason to be, but still. Scared.
And if they had a time machine—and also if they were real—I bet maybe they'd go back and get together sooner.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Shit.
These damn books that mean so much to me. I think I missed part of the message here: be brave enough to go after what you want.