Chapter 22 Luc #2
Cody nods. “Alright. I’ll be there for you.”
I smile at him. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind about that.
***
After brunch, Cody and I walk together, hand in hand, to the cake shop.
Given the hour, I’m sure my father will be there, which is both a comforting and unsettling thought.
Honestly, I have no idea how he’ll respond to me introducing my English-speaking, thirty-six-year-old boyfriend to him.
My dad’s not homophobic, but I think he’d sooner expect me to bring home a cute local around my age, someone like Maxime, Xavier, or Jean.
But Maxime and I don’t like each other that way, Jean has a girlfriend, and Xavier isn’t my type .
. . whereas Cody very much is. Who would have thought?
Everything about him makes me want him more. the way he looks and the things he does. I plan to show my dad just how much he means to me, no matter what it takes.
We enter the shop together, and at first sight, everything’s the same: the “open” sign hangs from the door, my dad’s standing behind the counter wearing his apron, the bell above the door rings softly when we enter .
. . it’s all very normal. But Cody and I are entering the store together, which is one of the things that makes this entirely different.
This is far from an ordinary start to my shift; I’m not even here to work.
No, this is for something much more important.
“C’est qui?” my dad asks when he sees us. He’s looking between me and Cody, asking me who he is.
I take a deep breath before answering him. This is it, another significant moment in my life. My answer must be the right one, or my dad won’t take me seriously. “Mon partenaire, Cody,” I reply, my muscles tense. “Je suis amoureux, papa.”
Suddenly, the room goes dead silent. Based on how quickly Cody turns his head to look at me, I know he understands what I said.
His eyes widen, and it’s no question why: I just introduced him as my partner and told my dad I’m in love with him.
Seeing as this is the first time I’ve mentioned anything about love, it’s no wonder he’s surprised.
I meant for it to reassure him, to prove my commitment, but instead of softening, his gaze is caught somewhere between surprise and disbelief. On top of that, my father doesn’t look convinced either.
After a few long seconds, my dad exhales, a humorless chuckle slipping out. “Amoureux?” The way he says it is cold.
“Yes,” I switch to English. “Cody’s from Canada, and I’m in love with him.”
My father raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Luc, be serious,” he replies in French. “You’ve never spoken of him before, and now suddenly you claim to love this man? And he doesn’t even speak French?”
My jaw tightens. “Speak English, please.”
“As you wish.” His tone is sharp. “Luc, you don’t know what love is. And this man you call your ‘partner’ . . . he looks older than the people you usually surround yourself with. So tell me, what is this really? Are you trying to provoke me?”
The words sting more than I want to admit, even though part of me expected them. Much too quickly after my fantastic night and morning, the warm feelings I had are slipping away.
“I’m not provoking you,” I insist, my voice low but firm. “It’s love, Dad. I just told you.”
He studies me, then shakes his head. “We’ll see. For now, put your apron on. And if your . . . guest isn’t buying anything, he should leave.”
Heat rises to my face. Maybe he’s in one of his moods, but that doesn’t excuse him from brushing me off like I’m a child.
Clinging to my anger for courage, I grind my teeth and plant my feet more firmly on the floor. My hand reaches out for Cody’s, gripping it tightly. His hold back is weak and hesitant, but at least he doesn’t pull away.
No, I’m not going to work. Instead, I’ll show my father I’m serious, even if it takes something drastic. Maybe it’s reckless, maybe it’s a mistake, but what else can I do? If neither of them will believe me, I’ll force them to.
“Luc, you don’t have to do this,” Cody mutters beside me, almost as if he knows what I’m about to do.
Except . . . I know he doesn’t, because I didn’t plan this until mere seconds ago. And I refuse to let myself think it through.
“Yes, I do,” I tell him, looking away to face my father. “I’m serious about this, Dad. I’m truly in love for the first time. Which is why . . .”
Before I can lose my nerve, I turn toward Cody and drop down to one knee. At first, he blinks at me, confused, possibly thinking I’ve dropped something or that I’m going to tie my shoelaces, but then . . .
“Cody, will you marry me?”
I don’t have a ring or a plan, but it doesn’t matter, right? He’ll understand; that’s what matters.
Or at least, so I thought.
“W-what?” His face twists with disbelief.
“I want you to marry me,” I insist, heat rising in my chest. “I want to go home, Cody.”
“Alright, we can go home,” he stammers, looking utterly lost. “But why are you—”
“I don’t mean your home. I mean mine. Back to France. And I want you with me. So let’s get married.”
Somehow, he looks even more shocked than when I told him I loved him just now. His jaw drops to the floor before he says, “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.”
“But we’re . . .” His voice trails off, and for reasons unknown to me, his gaze flicks to my father. It’s only brief, but I notice it, and something about it unsettles me. When his eyes return to mine, he’s smiling slightly, but it’s not the smile I know. It doesn’t seem sincere.
It concerns me for a moment, but then he gives me his answer, and none of it matters anymore. “Okay, sure. I mean, y-yeah.”
Upon hearing that, I start grinning from ear to ear. “Yes?”
Cody throws my dad another glance, and once again, I don’t know why. “Yes.”
Oh my god. Il a dit oui. He said yes. I needed to hear it twice before it truly sank in.
Excitement bursts out of me, impossible to contain.
When I rang Cody’s doorbell yesterday, I hadn’t planned to propose at any point.
And when I woke up this morning, I hadn’t expected to be engaged today.
But now that I am, I don’t want to change it.
It’s finally happening. I can finally go back home.
And not only that, I can build a future there with someone I love.
Without hesitation, I stand up and lean in to kiss him. He doesn’t quite kiss me back, but I think nothing of it. He’s probably just surprised and still processing everything. He’ll catch up.
I feel amazing, but it appears I’m the only one.
My father isn’t happy, and Cody looks more confused than anything else.
It makes sense, I suppose, and it doesn’t have to be a problem; we have all the time in the world to adjust. We don’t have to get married this week, or this month, or even this year.
It can be whenever we’re ready. But it’s a great start.
“This is ridiculous,” my father snaps, dragging me out of my thoughts.
“You could have done this anywhere else, but you chose my store? With a man you’ve only just introduced me to?
And you expect me to take you seriously?
” He shakes his head, lips pressed in a thin line.
“Get out. Both of you. And Luc, don’t come back until you’ve come to your senses. ”
I glare at him, heat rising to my face. How can he still not understand?
“Je suis fiancé, papa. Whether you like it or not. Maybe you should call Claire to help you, because I’m not coming back.
But isn’t that what you always wanted? The moment I turned my back, you hired her to replace me.
Well, congratulations, you got what you wanted.
You win. I’m leaving. I’m going where you never let me go: back to Besancon. ”
I don’t wait for his reply. Instead, I grab Cody’s hand again, and turn sharply, pulling him with me toward the door.
Maybe someday my father will realize it’s him who needs to come to his senses, not me. Time will tell, I suppose.
Right now, I have more important things to deal with, like my new fiancé. He looks like he hasn’t quite gotten used to the idea yet, but I hope he will once we’re alone.
I guide him into the nearest abandoned alleyway, pull him close, and kiss him again. I kiss him like I’ve never kissed him or anyone before. My words keep ringing in my head: Je suis fiancé. I’m engaged. Who saw that coming?
I can barely stop smiling as I kiss Cody.
He must think I’m a maniac, but then again, I have no idea what’s on his mind.
Since we left the shop, he hasn’t said a word, and now he isn’t even kissing me back.
Suddenly, a thought occurs to me, and I can’t let it go: something’s not right here.
Otherwise, he would hold me and kiss me back instead of just standing there.
I break the kiss and look at him. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you kissing me back?”
For unknown reasons, Cody looks irritated. “What the hell was that just now?” he asks, motioning toward the shop. “We’re not really engaged, are we? What are you playing at?!”
Not engaged? What’s he talking about? That was a real proposal, and he said yes so . . . what’s going on?
“Yes, we are,” I reply, confused.
Cody shakes his head. “No, we’re not. It’s all just a game to you, isn’t it? It’s just like your father said. This is something you did to piss him off or to make him feel stupid. And you used me for it, just admit it!”
The miserable feeling inside me grows, and my happiness and excitement fade. “Not true, mon chéri,” I reply, shaking my head. “That was real as far as I’m concerned.”
Cody stares at me, opening and closing his mouth, looking immensely frustrated and lost. When he speaks again, he sounds exhausted.
“But then why? Honestly, Luc, I don’t understand you at all!
Until a few days ago, you wanted nothing to do with me, and now you’re suddenly proposing?
” He starts pacing the alleyway, unable to stand still. “Why would you use me like that?!”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “U-use you?” What the hell? Please tell me I misunderstood that. “What do you mean?”
“You know I couldn’t say no in front of your dad!” he replies, stopping in front of me. “We never talked about this! You said we were only going to meet him! Why did you lie?!”
His words feel like a punch to the gut. If he had hit me, it would have had a similar effect. I step away from him, trying to make sense of it. “Wait . . .” I start, but I have to pause when a lump forms in my throat and tears well up in my eyes. “You wanted to say no to me?”
The tears in my eyes blur my vision, and I can’t read Cody’s expression. In fact, I don’t see much anymore at all. My surroundings are spinning, and my heart feels heavy.
Some part of me vaguely registers that he sounds frustrated when he responds. It makes no sense. “I don’t know, maybe! But I couldn’t now, could I? Not in front of your dad!”
My heart breaks a little further, the dream I had of building a life in France bursting like a bubble.
“You could have said no . . .” I reply, my voice breaking, and the first tear coursing down my face.
God, how embarrassing. I thought he wanted me, I thought we were happy, but the only reason Cody said yes was because he felt like he had to.
Nothing more. “Even in front of my dad. I love you, and I want to be married and live with you in France. It’s not a game. ”
Cody shakes his head. Then he says the last thing I ever expected him to say. “What do you even know about love? I’m the first person you’ve been with, and you wanted nothing to do with me until a couple of days ago! You don’t even really know me, and you don’t understand the meaning of marriage.”
The accusation stings. He may have a point, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. These are words I never thought I’d hear from him. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m still standing.
“Maybe not,” I say, wiping my eyes. “But I know what I want, or at least I thought I did. This morning, waking up beside you; that felt like home . . . and so does Besancon. That’s my dream, but if you don’t want it .
. . if you think I used you, then . . . I’ll leave you alone.
” My voice breaks again, and I hate it. “Nobody’s forcing you, you know. ”
I wipe more tears away, suppressing a sob as I turn around, my heart slowly breaking.
I’m trying not to think about not having a place to go.
I lost my apartment, I just told my dad I’m not going back to work for him, and I definitely can’t go to Cody’s place.
Several minutes ago, I was happy, my dream life within reach.
Now, the simple concept of “home” suddenly feels like something non-existent.
But having nowhere to go is a long-term problem, I suppose. Right now, I just need to keep myself from falling apart.
I start to walk away, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.
My heart is broken. What was I thinking, believing in love, letting someone in?
Look at where it got me. I burned all my bridges, thinking Cody and I would have each other to fall back on.
Now I have nothing. What the hell am I going to do?