Chapter 23 Cody
Minutes pass with me standing alone in the alleyway, frozen, while Luc walks away, going God knows where.
I don’t know how much time goes by, but eventually I realize something, and it feels like a kick in the gut: I fucked up.
With everything I said, I made it worse, hurt him more, and the worst part is that I thought I was right when I said it.
The opposite is true. I shouldn’t have let him leave, but when I realize that, it’s already too late. He’s long gone. Where to? I have no idea; it could be anywhere. After all, he knows Brussels far better than I do. That’s only one of the many things that don’t work in my favor.
He looked so lost and heartbroken when he left, and I can only blame myself for it.
In my defense, I wasn’t expecting a proposal, neither a fake nor a real one, for that matter.
At first, I thought he was using me to get back at his dad, and I felt humiliated.
But then he said it was real, and honestly .
. . I don’t know which I prefer. I’m so confused, and honestly, maybe it would have been better if the proposal were fake.
It may sound harsh, but can you blame me?
A twenty-one-year-old guy with no previous relationship experience and a tendency to be impulsive proposed to me out of the blue.
It’s a huge step, and I don’t know if I can take it seriously.
I’ve only recently started to believe I could find love on this strange continent, and I only just got Luc back.
Him suddenly blurting out that he loves me was shocking enough, but marriage?
Did I mention I met the guy just a month ago?
My family doesn’t even know him yet. It’s crazy.
And still, I can’t help feeling like I’m in the wrong here.
Luc’s impulsive . . . and emotional. I love that about him.
He feels things intensely and isn’t afraid to show it.
It’s been that way since day one, when he was rude to me in the shop.
He’s either all out or all in, and apparently, this is the latter.
Perhaps I should have seen this coming. Maybe I should get used to it.
I don’t see Luc changing anytime soon, and if I want to have a relationship with him, or even a life, I need to accept his impulsiveness. And decide fast.
That’s what love is, isn’t it? Taking the leap.
Not just for me, but for everyone. It’s impossible to know whether the person you love is meant for you, whether or not they’ll leave you, or if they love you as much as you love them.
Nobody ever knows this, and still, people put their hearts on the line.
They take the leap despite not knowing what the future will hold because they know life will be more miserable without that one person.
And that’s where I am right now. Part of me may wonder, perhaps even worry, that Luc will break my heart, but I learned that my life feels bleak when we’re apart, and that I’m happy when we’re together.
Does that mean we need to get married straight away?
Well, no, not for me. But maybe I need to take the leap.
Hopefully, as an engaged couple, we could just get to know each other for a while and figure things out before we get married.
I’ll need to convince Luc that we need that time, but ultimately, the most important thing is that we’re together.
That’s why I can’t stand here any longer.
I must find Luc and try to salvage what I broke, but I have no idea where he went.
It’s been a while since he left, and although he did not walk away exceptionally fast or seemed to have a clear purpose, there are so many places he could have gone.
I’m going to find him, though. No matter what.
I reach into my pocket to grab my cell phone and press his name to call him.
But, as I half expected, I only get an endless dial tone.
He’s not picking up. I don’t know whether that’s because he doesn’t notice I’m calling him, or because he doesn’t want to answer.
Either way, it doesn’t make things easier.
I keep my phone in my hand, so I can answer immediately if he calls me back, and start walking.
I use the cake shop as a central point and spend the next twenty minutes wandering around the surrounding blocks, searching for Luc.
It doesn’t help that I don’t know this area too well, or Luc’s favorite places.
There might be a park nearby that he loves to visit, a cozy cafe that helps him relax, or a quiet vacated building with a rooftop that overlooks the city.
I have no idea, and it’s silly, actually.
Whenever I thought about getting engaged or married, I always pictured that by this point, the other guy and I would know everything about each other.
But there’s still so much I don’t know about Luc, like .
. . what’s his favorite color? What type of band shirt did he leave at my house?
Has he always wanted to return to France?
I couldn’t say. It’s strange that life can sometimes take an entirely different course than expected.
As I walk around, searching, the feeling of hopelessness grows in me.
I have no idea what I’m doing, just wandering around, hoping to spot Luc somewhere.
I don’t even know what direction he walked in, so chances are that he’s only getting farther away from me.
Half an hour later, I decide what I’m doing is pointless, and I return to where it all started: the cake shop. It’s time to try something else.
I take a deep breath before stepping inside.
When Luc and I arrived, we were the only ones here, but now the store’s crowded.
It occurs to me that Luc probably knew what the best and quietest time was to talk to his dad in the store.
At this point, not only are there three customers waiting behind the one currently being served, but a woman in an apron is also standing behind the counter.
I assume she’s Claire, the employee Luc said his father had hired to replace him.
Luc might not have been happy with her, but at the moment her presence is working in my favor.
Because when Luc’s father sees me, he asks Claire something I can’t hear.
She nods and glances at me before helping the next customer in line.
Luc’s father then gestures for me to follow him into the back room.
It has me feeling conflicted. Maybe it’s good that we’ll talk in private, but man, it’ll be weird being alone with him there, considering all the kisses his son and I shared in that very room.
Let’s hope he never finds out about that.
I sigh and walk around the counter, following Luc’s father into the back room. When he turns to face me, he looks impatient.
“What is it now?” he asks in his thick French accent. “I told Luc to come back when he comes to his senses. I didn’t say anything about you.”
I nod, swallowing hard. It looks like I’ll have to cut right to the chase, but something occurs to me immediately after I open my mouth to speak. “Sir, I . . . Sorry, I just realized I’m dating your son, and you know my name, but I don’t even know yours.”
His expression is flat when he says, “Je m’appelle Pierre.”
“Okay, Pierre, is it alright if I call you that?”
“Oui, d’accord,” Pierre says, looking at me expectantly. “And you’re . . . Cory?”
“Almost; it’s Cody.” Deciding to skip other small talk, I take a deep breath. What I’m about to say next feels strange for numerous reasons. “I need your help to find Luc.”
As I expected, Pierre frowns at that. “Weren’t you just with him?”
“I was, but when Luc proposed, I didn’t respond as I should have. It caught me off guard. I hurt him, and he bolted.”
Pierre looks more confused when he says, “I was here when it happened; he did it in this store. You said yes.”
“I did, but only when you were watching. Once we left, I told him the idea was ridiculous and demanded an explanation.”
Pierre snorts softly. “Seems like at least he found someone sensible.”
“That’s just the thing: I’m not. I love your son, and I’ve decided I’m willing to do foolish things to be with him. It’s just . . . I need your help to find him, if you’re willing to give it.”
Pierre stares at me for several seconds, sizing me up.
I have no idea what’s on his mind, but I can imagine him thinking I’m not the right person for his son.
I’m older, barely speak French, he doesn’t know me, and perhaps worst of all, I’m a guy.
Now, I don’t think Luc would have introduced me to his father so quickly if that were a problem, but still.
Who knows? Luc’s dad might only be realizing he has a problem with his son dating men now he’s confronted with it. I’ve heard it happens sometimes.
Luckily, this is not such a situation. Pierre sighs and says, “What do you need?”
“Not much; just your home address. Luc’s living with you, right?”
“Yes, but . . . why would I give a stranger my home address?”
“Not a stranger. Your son’s fiancé, remember?”
“Are you really going to continue with that?”
“Yes, if he’ll have me. After all, love is all about taking the leap, isn’t it? And I may be older than Luc, but I’m not necessarily wiser. Maybe he saw a bright future for both of us that I was too dumb to recognize. Who knows? I’ve decided I’m willing to take that chance.”
“You’re both dumb romantics,” Pierre says, frowning at me. “But okay, if you wish to find him, I’ll help you. Hang on.” He starts taking off his plastic gloves. “I’ll write down the address for you. For your sake, I hope you’re not too late.”
As he hands me the piece of paper with the address, I desperately hope the same thing.
“Thank you,” I say as I take the note. “I won’t keep you any longer.”
He nods and, without another word, I leave the store. It feels like I’m in a race against the clock. I have to find Luc fast, or it might actually be too late . . .