Chapter 10 #2
“Yeah, it’s painful. I feel like shit.”
“But it’s manageable,” he mused, his brows drawing together in thought.
“He’s got a high pain tolerance,” Chance said conversationally, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Doesn’t really feel things like the rest of us.”
“No, I don’t,” I argued, waving him off.
“Yes, you do.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You fell and broke your collarbone when we were kids and didn’t say anything. Walked around with it for a week before anyone noticed. Mom finally saw you with your shirt off and lost her mind.”
“It wasn’t a bad break.”
“You were deformed.”
“Would you shut up for a minute?” I turned back to Dalton.
“You also pulled a bullet out of your own leg, what…” Chance paused, counting off on his fingers. “Eight years ago.”
“It wasn’t deep,” I shot back.
“It was in your thigh,” Chance said with a chuckle. “You’re lucky you didn’t lose your balls.”
“Shut—”
“Didn’t mention that one either,” Chance drawled.
“Gods dammit,” I muttered under my breath.
“Oh, and you’ve torn off every fingernail you have at least twice.”
“On a scale of one to ten,” Dalton said, cutting in before I lunged for Chance. “What would you rate the pain when you’re separated from Rosemary?”
“Six,” I replied, lying through my teeth.
Did it hurt to leave her? Fuck yes. It felt like I was coming out of my skin. I loathed it when we were apart.
But I’d made a decision when Zeke died that I’d take care of my family. I’d hold them together however I could. I’d help find my brothers’ mates, and I’d protect them once they were found. Leaving Rosemary where she was safe while I did so was the only option open to me.
I refused to put my mate in danger for any reason.
The consequences would be catastrophic.
“That’s fucking fantastic,” Rosemary said from behind me. I spun to face her.
She’d showered. Her hair was in a sleek fall down her back. She’d changed into a matching set of pajamas, and her feet were covered in a pair of thick hiking socks.
“Ask me,” she ordered Dalton.
“On a scale of one to ten, what would you rate—”
“Seventy-five,” Rosemary said before he’d finished. Her gaze moved slowly to me.
“Rosie,” I whispered, the knowledge knocking the wind out of me.
“I’d rate it a seventy-five,” she repeated, her eyes on mine.
She looked away. “Now ask me about that time in Grenada.”
Dalton cleared his throat. “On a scale of one to ten, what would you rate your pain when you were stabbed in Grenada?”
“Fourteen,” she said quietly.
“You were stabbed?” I asked in disbelief. I hadn’t noticed any scars, and I’d seen every inch of her body. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, and I remembered the blood on the floor of her room. “Why are your feet bleeding?”
“They aren’t anymore,” she replied, moving past me to sit at the table.
I ground my teeth together in frustration.
“She went for a little run when she woke up and realized you hadn’t come back,” Gary answered for her.
“Pop,” she hissed in warning.
“Oh, are we just going to ignore this shit some more?” he chastised. “Tell your mate what happened.”
Rosemary stared at him mutinously, her lips pressed tightly closed.
Gary turned to me. “She lost it. Took off running before I could stop her. She made it to the road before Dalton got there.”
“Where the hell were you going?” I asked in disbelief.
“To find you,” Gary told me, looking at his daughter. “Didn’t even stop to put shoes on.”
“Quiet, Pop,” Rosemary ordered. He looked away from her.
“She’s handled the separation. Pukin’ her guts out, the shakes, the fever, the muscle aches. Losin’ weight because she can’t hardly keep anythin’ down. But apparently, you not showin’ up when you’re supposed to was too much.”
Guilt was my constant companion. We were old friends. I’d learned to live with its voice in my ear, whispering about all the shit I should’ve done and all the things I shouldn’t have. I was used to it.
This was something different.
This felt more like shame.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked Rosemary, taking a step toward her.
“What was there to say?” she asked simply. “You knew before you left that there would be physical repercussions.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but stopped when her head gave a little jerk.
“Every Vampire knows that,” she said dryly.
“It’s common knowledge that any separation between mates causes the symptoms to intensify.
You also know that a human mate’s symptoms are worse than the Vampire’s, but I guess if your pain level was only a six…
” She let out a little laugh. “You get the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you didn’t think my symptoms would be very bad if yours were so manageable. ”
“You should’ve said something,” I argued.
I thought back to every time I found Rosemary after I’d been at my parents’ house. Always freshly showered. A little subdued, but glad to see me. Not once had she made any reference to having a rough time while I was gone. Not once had she complained or mentioned the mating heat being too much.
“What is there to say?” she asked dully. “You made up your mind. You were going without me, whether I wanted you to or not.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out.
“Weed helps,” she said with a shrug. “Edibles work the best, but they take a while to take effect. A blunt will do in a pinch.”
“I won’t—” the words caught in my throat.
I couldn’t promise not to leave her again. Chance and I were about to tell Dalton that we’d narrowed down our list of Vampires to three that were involved in the human militia’s war on Vampires and their mates. Things were going to start moving very quickly, and my brothers would need me.
“You’re going to keep going,” she said in understanding.
The worst part is she wasn’t even surprised.
That small burst of anger when I’d arrived had been the extent of her fight. By the look in her eyes, she’d already moved on to acceptance.
“You said you had a high pain threshold,” I reminded her, my voice rough. It was no excuse, but it was the only explanation I had. “You didn’t ever say how bad it was, so I thought—”
“Complaining about things doesn’t change them,” Rosemary said, pulling her knees up to her chest. “It just makes you a whiny little bitch.”
“I’m sorry today took longer than it should’ve,” I said, moving closer. “This morning, we found a video of my brother Zeke.”
“You don’t need to explain,” she replied. “It is what it is.”
“I should’ve called.”
“Yeah, you should’ve.”
“Zeke had been gathering information before he died,” I explained, gutted at the lack of emotion in her voice. “It’s what I’ve been going through on my laptop, and none of it made any sense until we found that video this morning. We have names, baby. We’re getting closer to ending it.”
“Good news,” she replied with an unconvincing smile.
“Zeke left you information?” Dalton asked. “Why haven’t you said anything?”
“We weren’t sure what we had—”
“You ever think that I could’ve helped with that?” he asked, glaring.
“I think we didn’t know what we were dealing with,” Chance cut in. “And until we did, we weren’t sharing the information that our brother died for.”
Dalton looked at him in surprise. “You know me.”
“We know a lot of Vampires,” Chance replied with a shrug. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Knock it off,” I shot at Chance over my shoulder.
He made a zipping motion over his lips.
“It’s almost over, baby,” I whispered, reaching out to wrap my hands around Rosemary’s thighs. “All right? We won’t have to do this much longer.”
She just nodded.
“Breaking it down, we’ve got three names of Vampires who have money coming in and out of the human militia’s war chest.” I looked at Dalton from my place crouched in front of Rosemary.
“Multiple transactions. They were trying to hide it, the payments were filtered through dummy corporations and overseas banks, but the proof is there.”
“Who is it?”
“Guess,” Chance said. “Try to guess.”
I was going to kill my brother.
“Keihley, Morren, and Adamson.”
“No way in hell,” Dalton replied.
“The numbers don’t lie, Cavendish,” Chance practically sang.
“I know Adamson,” Dalton said in disbelief.
“Like we know you?” Chance wheedled.
“He wouldn’t do this. The Vampire is loyal to a fault.”
“He’s dirty,” I replied. “The evidence is extensive.”
Dalton was silent for a long moment. “Can I see what you have?”
“Chance?” I asked.
“I’ll get my laptop, since yours is shit,” he grumbled as he stomped away.
I stared at my mate. Even with the remote look in her eyes and her face void of expression, she was still so beautiful that it made me ache. I didn’t understand how I’d missed how much pain she was in—pain that I was causing. She always looked so ready to take on the world when I saw her.
Realization hit without warning. She hadn’t just been keeping the effects of the mating heat to herself.
She’d been actively hiding it.
The showers she’d barely finished when I walked through the door. The light conversation that didn’t really touch on anything she’d done while I was gone.
“Come with me,” I ordered, rising to my feet.
Chance could answer any questions that Gary and Dalton had.
Without a word, Rosemary rose and followed me out of the room. I paused long enough for her to slip on a pair of boots before leading her out the back door. The rain had stopped, but the air was thick with moisture as I led her to the barn.
“Did a little cleaning today?” I asked as I looked around the space.
“I had some time on my hands.”
“Why?” I asked, turning to face her. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“What would it have changed?” she shot back, pulling her hand from mine. “Would you have stopped going? No. Would you have taken me with you? Also, no. So why would I say anything?”
“Because I’m your mate,” I argued. “Because I have a right to know if something is hurting you!”
“You knew it was hurting me,” she countered. “You knew, but you thought I could handle it, so you just kept doing it.”
“That’s not it—”