Chapter 10 #3
“Isn’t it?” she asked. “I told you I had a high pain tolerance, so you thought that gave you permission to do something that you knew would hurt me.”
“I know it’s uncomfortable,” I replied.
“Uncomfortable for you,” she spat. “Not for me. Uncomfortable is the flu. Uncomfortable is being tied to a chair for a week. Uncomfortable is spraining your ankle. When you leave, it isn’t uncomfortable. I can’t think straight. My entire body seems to be working toward one goal—driving me insane.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said, reaching for her. “I didn’t know—”
“I ran our entire driveway barefoot today,” she said, jerking away. “I didn’t even have a bra on.”
“I was fine. I just—”
“I know that,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “And if the paranoia hadn’t gotten so bad, I would’ve known that then. But I didn’t. I was convinced that you were in trouble or dead somewhere. I was practically fucking feral!”
“I was a couple of hours late,” I yelled back.
“More than a couple of hours!”
“You’re safe here.” Gods, I felt like a broken record. “But I cannot make sure that you’re safe everywhere if I don’t find the head of the fucking snake.”
“So…go,” she screamed, shooing me away. “Go find the head of the snake, or watch videos of your dead brother, or whatever hell else you want to do. Don’t mind me.
I’ll be fine. Just like I was fine today and fine yesterday and fine the day before that.
I’m dealing with it. I tied myself to you, and I’m fucking dealing with it, okay? ”
“You regret the bond?” I asked, jerking back from her.
“What bond?” she hissed. “This isn’t a mating bond. This is some cosmic joke.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“You shouldn’t want to leave me,” she screamed, grabbing a wrench off the workbench to throw at me. “If we were mated, it would be agony for you to leave me.”
“It is agony,” I argued, catching it.
“Oh, yeah, a six out of ten. Sounds really terrible.”
“I lied,” I roared, dropping the wrench.
“Yeah, right.”
“I fucking hate leaving you,” I said, moving toward her. She backed away with each step, and a part of me liked it. I wanted to fucking chase her. This time, she’d never make it into the loft.
My emotions were too close to the surface. The small box that I’d stuffed them into on the day we’d seen Zeke’s mutilated body was coming apart at the seams.
Anger pounded between my temples. At Zeke. At the people who’d murdered him. At the situation I’d found myself in, torn between my family and my mate. At Rosemary for not understanding that I was trying to do the right thing.
“What’s wrong with your eyes?” Rosemary asked. She lifted her chin a bit, but I could hear the tremor in her voice.
“Nothing,” I lied.
“That’s not nothing,” she argued. “It’s like they’re flickering.”
“Stop talking about my eyes.”
“I can’t—”
“You should’ve told me how bad it was,” I said, catching her around the waist. I ignored the way she strained against my arms. “I had no idea—”
“Well, now you do,” she said as she stopped trying to pull away. “Tell me, what difference does it make?”
“I know now.”
“So you’re going to start taking me with you?”
When I didn’t immediately reply, she scoffed.
“That’s what I thought.”
It wasn’t that simple. How in the hell was I supposed to willingly put her in danger? Once she was out in the world again, she’d be seen. Once she was seen, she’d be on their radar again. It wasn’t a matter of if, but when.
But I couldn’t stop searching for the Vampires and humans responsible for murdering my brother. I had to be out there, following up on leads and watching my brothers’ backs.
Didn’t she realize that the only way I could do that was if I knew she was safe here with her pop?
How had I become the fucking bad guy in this scenario for protecting my mate?
“You know what?” she said after a moment, taking a step away. “It’s fine. I’m fine. You keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, and we can meet up once a day to fuck and exchange blood. That works for plenty of mates, and my body will just have to deal.”
“You know that’s not what I want,” I argued, following her out of the barn. My frustration grew. “I’m here with you twenty-one hours of the fucking day, Rosemary. Don’t act like you’re being neglected here.”
“Oh, I’m not.”
“What the fuck?” I barked, stopping at the edge of the patio. “I understand that it’s been hard for you. It’s been hard for me too. None of this shit is normal.”
Rosemary spun to face me, backlit by the porch light.
“You know, I’ve never been the woman who follows her partner around begging for scraps.
It’s just not my personality. It’s like, you want to do your own thing?
Cool. Me too. But when you told me that I was your mate, I thought we’d be in this shit together.
” She shook her head. “It is physically painful, to the point of losing all logic, when we’re apart.
Them’s the breaks. I knew it would happen, and I was prepared for it because I know that mating bonds happen for a reason.
What I didn’t know is that you would ignore the fucking bond unless it suited you. ”
I opened my mouth to argue, but didn’t even get a word out before she continued.
“Yes, that’s exactly what you’re doing. Your mate is a highly trained operator.
Whether or not you acknowledge that fact is your issue.
It doesn’t change the truth. Instead of keeping me with you the way nature fucking intended, you’ve basically forbidden me from leaving this property while you go out hunting bad guys.
Hell, you’re not even hunting them at this point.
You’re trying to figure out who they are. ”
“You know they’re looking for you,” I shot back.
“I know that you’re convinced they’re looking for me,” Rosemary spat.
“That’s what I know. I also know that you’re so afraid of your own fucking shadow that you’re ignoring the fact that you’re not the only one in this.
Even if we ignored that you’ve been putting me through excruciating physical symptoms because you didn’t think they’d be that bad, I was working on discovering who these assholes were before you were, you self-righteous asshole! ”
She stormed into the house, letting the door slam before I could catch it. I nearly tore it off the hinges as I followed her inside.
“Afraid of my own fucking shadow?” I yelled, catching up to her before she’d left the kitchen. I ignored the spectators around the table. “Do you have any idea what they did to my baby brother?”
“Danny,” Chance said softly, rising from his seat.
“They tore him apart,” I barked, ignoring him. “They cut off his arms and legs in pieces before they took his head.”
The color drained out of Rosemary’s cheeks.
“Yeah, baby. That’s who we’re dealing with.
That’s who had you tied up for a week in their little safe house.
” I took a step forward, then stopped myself.
“So if I’m careful with you, I apologize,” I said mockingly.
“So fucking sorry that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that I don’t have to identify your mangled body piece by piece. ”
“Trust me to take care of myself,” she replied tentatively, taking a step toward me.
“They managed to take down Zeke,” I argued. “A fully grown and fully trained Vampire, and you think you’d have a chance?”
“Your mom and sisters-in-law—”
“Got lucky,” I roared. “That’s all it was! Pure fucking luck.”
“All right, Danny boy,” Chance said. I jerked when his palm rested between my shoulder blades. “Time to take a step back.”
“I’m a fucking horrible mate, right?” I asked the room. “I’m such a monster for leaving Rosemary behind for a few hours at a time. I better pull my head out of my ass, because I’m really fucking up!” I let out a laugh. “I’m a real motherfucker because I don’t want to find my mate in pieces.”
“And now is when we take a little walk before we say something we can’t take back,” Chance said, shoving me back toward the door.
“That’s rich coming from you,” I huffed.
“That’s right, take it out on me,” he crooned, still shoving at me. “Your brother, who loves you.”
“You’re such a fucking prick,” I replied, jerking my shoulder away from his hand as I stepped back outside.
I walked to the far edge of the barn and let the cool air roll over me.
I fucking hated all of it. I hated that Zeke was dead.
I hated that Rosemary was pissed at me, and everything was going sideways.
I really hated that I’d found my mate in the middle of such a clusterfuck, and it was ruining the beginning of our story.
I hated that I had to leave her. I hated that she was in pain when I did. I hated that I had no other choice.
Of course I wanted to stay with Rosemary.
For fuck’s sake, if it were up to me, we’d never leave her bed—no, we wouldn’t even be in her bed.
If it were up to me, we’d be in my bed, where we had some room to move.
If it were up to me, we’d be in our own little bubble, talking and fucking and getting to know one another without all the rest of this shit hanging over our heads.
None of this was fair.
“So…she’s pissed,” Chance said, leaning against the barn.
“You think?” I replied sarcastically.
“Don’t blame her. It sounds like the symptoms are pretty bad when you leave.”
“It’s not like I want to leave her.” I shook my head. “I’d rather have my fingernails pulled out.”
“Beau, Ambrose, and I could take care of things.”
“How would that be any different? Beau and Ambrose have mates too.”
“Fine, then I’ll take care of it myself.” Chance shrugged.
“Not going to happen.”
“What? You don’t think I’m capable of handling it?”
“I don’t think any of us are capable of taking on this group alone.”
“Well, we need to figure something out because, by the looks of your face, your mate might just tear your throat out with her fingernails the next time you leave the house,” Chance said, his lips twitching.
“You think this is funny?”