Chapter Six Lor Aphelion Present Day
My eyes fly open, and I register the shape of a body hovering in the darkness. In one swift movement, my hand slips under my pillow, snagging my concealed dagger. I flip over, pinning the intruder to the mattress with the razor-sharp edge pressed to their throat.
It takes me a second to realize it’s Nadir, highlighted in a sliver of moonlight, with his hands up over his head, his palms open in surrender.
My breath expels in a shaky rush, my entire body burning with adrenaline.
Nadir holds himself still, blinking up at me calmly despite the fact I’m threatening a vital artery.
That dream. That forest. That Fae who knew who I was. Somehow, I’d forgotten any of that happened, but it gallops towards me now with alarming clarity. Tristan and I should never have kept any of that quiet.
“What are you doing here?” I demand, waiting for my heartbeat to settle to a less stroke-inducing pace. “Why are you sneaking into my room?”
I don’t know why I’m angry with Nadir other than he just scared the shit out of me. Ever since we escaped the Aurora King in Heart, I wake up at the slightest sound, certain that he’s found us. I had a decade of practice inside Nostraza, always sleeping with one eye open.
“You were screaming,” Nadir says, his words soft, still holding himself still. “I think you were having a nightmare.”
My shoulders climb up to my ears, and I press the blade harder into his throat. It would be so easy to do it. Just the tiniest bit of pressure. A part of me knows he’d let me. It’s so hard to look at him sometimes. To see the resemblance to his father. A constant reminder of everything I’ve lost. Of everything they both could still take.
“Lor,” he says. “It’s okay.”
My gaze meets his. It swirls with violet light, and I remind myself that Nadir isn’t his father. The tenderness in his eyes softens the pellet of rage I keep wedged in the center of my heart.
Finally, I relax, easing the blade from his throat.
“I could have killed you if I wanted,” I say, not sure if that’s entirely true. He could easily overpower me with his magic or good old-fashioned brute force before I ever got the chance.
“I know,” he says without an ounce of condescension in his tone.
It’s then I realize we’re both practically naked.
I’m wearing only my bra and underwear, and Nadir’s chest is bare but for the swirls of his colorful tattoos. I’m desperately hoping he has something over his bottom half. We both look down at each other and back up, and I shift, trying to determine if there’s a layer of fabric between us. When a predictable awareness blooms between my thighs, I realize that is entirely the wrong move.
With my knees straddling his hips, it would be all too easy to give in to what my body craves. After what happened earlier today with his magic, the tension stretching between us hangs as heavy as an iron wall.
With the dagger still gripped in one fist, I plant my hands on either side of his head, leaning down as my breath tightens for an entirely different reason. I want him. I can’t seem to stop wanting him. That night in Heart when he tried to claim me was an agonizing tease. I know I’m the one who pushed him away, but need squats in my chest, crushing my ribs, and the harder I try to push it away, the more it insists on being noticed. My magic hums softly in my veins as I lower myself down, slowly, so slowly.
Nadir’s large, warm hands land lightly on the creases of my thighs, like he’s afraid of making any sudden movements. His lips part, and I want to bite them. Suck on the bottom one until he’s—
“Lor!” My door bangs open with a crash. Shit. I snap up to find Willow standing in the doorway. She takes in the scene, and her eyes widen before she covers them with a hand and fumbles for the doorknob.
“Oh. No. I’m sorry. I… heard you screaming.” She keeps reaching behind her, trying to find the knob with her other hand clamped over her eyes.
“It’s fine,” I say, scrambling off Nadir and grabbing a robe to cover myself. I turn up the light, blinking furiously as I try to crush the swell of desire pulsing under my skin.
“It’s not what you think.”
I say the words firmly, hoping they sound a little bit true. It didn’t start out the way she’s thinking, but I wonder what might have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted. I throw a look at Nadir, who is also scooting off the bed, relieved to note he’s wearing underwear. However, it does nothing to conceal the effect of what we were just about to do, and he grabs a pillow to cover himself, tossing me a frown.
Willow lowers her hand and looks carefully between us.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, pulling my hair over a shoulder in an attempt to compose myself. “I was having a nightmare.”
“Where the hell did you get a dagger from?” Nadir asks. “And why is it under your pillow?”
“Mael,” I say, and Nadir shakes his head like he should have known. “He’s been teaching me how to use it too.”
Nadir’s expression turns contrite. “I should have thought of that.”
“Hmm,” I say as I retrieve the knife from across the bed and return it to its hiding place.
“Is everything okay?” comes another voice. I turn around to find Tristan in the doorway, also half-dressed, his dark hair mussed from sleep. He looks at me and then at Nadir sitting on my bed, and his eyes darken. I am so not in the mood for this.
“Everything’s fine,” I say, running a hand down my face.
“Then why were you screaming?” Tristan asks.
“A nightmare.” I bite my lip, considering how to approach this. “Tris, do you remember when we were kids, and there was that High Fae in the forest who tried to take me?”
I feel both Nadir and Willow physically react to my question.
“What?” Willow asks. “When?”
“I was about ten,” I say. “The three of us were playing hide and seek, and she offered me a treat, and then she tried to steal me.”
“How did I not know about this?” Willow demands.
I share a look with Tristan.
“We decided not to tell anyone.”
“Why?” Nadir asks, already up, his entire body tight with tension. “Why did she try to take you?”
The tendons in his neck stand out, and I swear he’s ready to hunt her down and tear a hole in her chest. Never mind that she’s already dead. I sink onto the bed, pulling the collar of my robe tight.
“I used my magic on her,” I say, and Willow’s mouth falls open. “It was the only way to stop her. I called on my magic and just… obliterated her.”
I recall the vivid details of my dream, thinking of the grotesque husk of her body lying in the grass. I’d blocked it out all those years ago, horrified by what I’d done, but I remember now. “Tristan and I agreed we didn’t want to worry Mother and Father.”
Willow nods with her mouth pressed in a thin line, but I catch the flicker of hurt in her eyes.
“I’d sort of forgotten about it in the passing years,” I admit. “So many other things happened, and we never spoke about it, so it kind of sunk away.”
“Until now,” Nadir says.
I nod. “Until I just had a dream. And I think she must have known. She said something about knowing who I was. What I was. It makes sense that someone else knew.”
“It would,” Nadir says. “Someone beyond your parents and Cedar. How else would Atlas and my father have found out?”
“Atlas told me that he’s friends with Cedar,” I reply, and Nadir snorts.
“Maybe. But why would Cedar have kept that secret for almost three hundred years only to share it now? Cedar definitely isn’t friends with my father and would never have given him information he could potentially use against him.”
“We need to find out,” Willow says.
“Why?” asks Tristan. “Is this the best use of our time? We need to get Lor to the Mirror.”
“Don’t you think this is important?” Willow asks. “Whoever knew told two powerful kings and clearly has an agenda. If the Mirror is the key to getting Lor her magic back, that person will emerge from the woodwork when she does. They had something to gain from all this, and we need to know what, for all our sakes and her safety.”
I nod slowly. “But how do we even begin to uncover who it might be?”
“We’d need to go deeper,” Nadir says. “Maybe find someone who was in Heart that day.”
“What if we went to the settlements?” I ask, the idea stirring a wild longing in my chest.
Nadir shakes his head. “That’s too much of a risk right now.”
“But what Willow says makes sense. If I do get my magic back from the Mirror, then wouldn’t it be better to already understand as much about the entire picture as possible before that happens? How long would it take?”
“We could be there and back in a couple of days.”
“So what’s a few more days while we figure out a plan?” I press my mouth together before whispering, “I need this. I want to see it.”
I watch several thoughts cross his face. He’s trying to keep me safe. He’s trying to approach this from the most logical place, and I’m making that impossible with my request. But I couldn’t see the settlements last time we went to Heart, and if things go poorly with Atlas and the Mirror, I might never get the chance.
“I’ll send a message to Etienne. His last report said my father’s soldiers have evacuated for the most part, but I’ll ask him to do another sweep. We’re not going anywhere near there unless I’m certain it’s safe.”
I blow out a breath. Nadir told me about his friend who watches over the settlements, sending reports. Thankfully, one of those missives stated that the king had stopped testing those women and let them go. It’s the one positive side effect of my confrontation with the king. He had no further reason to search in Heart for the Primary—now he knows it’s me.
“Thank you,” I say.
“I’m not agreeing to anything yet,” he says.
“They’re coming too.” I gesture to Tristan and Willow.
“Of course they are,” he adds dryly.
He rolls his neck, attempting to loosen the tension I’m sure is partly due to me. Or maybe it’s all due to me, but I’d like to think I’m not the sole source of his problems.
“Before we even consider this, we should try releasing your magic again. You are too vulnerable this way. While we wait for word from Etienne, we’ll keep working on it.”
I give him a sharp look, thinking of our encounter this afternoon. Like the last time he channeled his magic against mine, it had been one of the most intense experiences of my life. Did I like it? I certainly didn’t hate it, but that dance feels like it’s wobbling the rickety bridge I’m trying to keep between us.
“Not the way we’ve been,” he says quickly. “Another way.”
“All right,” I say slowly, tipping my chin. “I’m willing to try anything.” He nods before I add, “But then, I don’t want any arguments about going to Heart if Etienne confirms it’s safe.”
His gaze flicks to me before he sighs.
Yup, I’m definitely one of the biggest sources of his problems.
“Fine. We’ll take Mael too. The more the merrier, I guess.”