Chapter Thirty-Seven Lor
At the sound of the hostess’s voice, I look up, trying to organize my thoughts. It’s grown warm in here, and I wave my hand at my face, trying to cool my flushed cheeks.
“Thank you,” I finally say, sliding off Nadir’s lap and standing up. He takes my hand before the woman beckons us to follow her through the club. We exit the solarium, head down another marble-lined corridor, and then up a spiraling gold staircase.
At the top is another hallway, this one lit by flickering sconces and lined with thick dark carpets, the walls covered in rich paneled wood. At the end stands a set of double doors. Our guide knocks softly twice before she swings it open. As we pass, she dips into a small curtsy.
“Madame Payne will be with you in a moment,” she informs us before sealing the door behind her.
We enter a sitting room decorated with more rich dark hues and velvet-covered furniture. The whole aesthetic almost reminds me of the Keep.
Neither of us is able to relax as we wait in nervous dread. I perch stiffly on the edge of the sofa in the middle of the room while Nadir paces back and forth behind me.
After a minute, a door on the far side swings open, and I blink. There she is.
Silver hair pulled up into a high knot and bright blue eyes, her skin smooth with a quality that belies her age. She wears an expensive-looking dress of luxurious purple silk and pauses in the doorway, lifting her chin as we all scrutinize one another, sizing each other up like opponents facing off across a battlefield littered with dead bodies.
When her eyes fall on me, her nostrils flare delicately. Her expression reveals nothing, but I get the sense she’s holding in a torrent of repressed emotions.
She grips an ornately carved cane in her hand, and after another moment of silence, she takes a step, her knee hampering her movements. I remember how she’d limped away in the Woodlands Staff’s vision and assume this must be an injury from that day that never fully healed.
How much does she resent what my grandmother did? Has all of this been about revenge?
Cloris slowly proceeds across the floor as Nadir and I watch her. The clip and clop of her shoes echo hollowly against the room’s corners.
Then she stops in front of me and lets out a long breath.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” she says. “You’ve grown up so much.”
Her voice holds no sense of the nostalgia usually accompanying that statement. It’s cold and assessing, as though she’s evaluating my mettle, trying to decide how much of a threat I pose.
“Well, it’s been over a decade,” I say, stating the obvious, to which she tips her chin.
“Indeed.”
I’m waiting for her to tell me I look like one of my grandparents or another sentiment that speaks of the past, but she says nothing, staring at me for so long that I’m starting to get uncomfortable.
Nadir has stopped pacing on the far side of the sofa, and we exchange a wary glance.
Keep our relationship a secret. The less she knows about either of us, the better.
Nadir’s voice enters my head, and I resist the urge to nod, worried that will give us away. He’s right. Nothing good can come of Cloris knowing who we are to one another.
“I would not have thought to find you two together,” Cloris says to Nadir at long last.
He doesn’t react, though I note the slight hardening of his jaw. “Why is that?”
Cloris tips her head, a dry smile crossing her lips as if to say Let’s not play games here.
Finally, she settles onto one of the chairs, resting her hands on the head of her cane and peering at me.
“What can I do for you, Lor?”
I don’t like this woman. Everything about her makes my skin crawl.
“Are you the one telling everyone who I am?”
Nadir sits down next to me but keeps his distance.
“I hardly think two people count as everyone,” she sneers.
“Why?” I ask, trying to sound detached and not like an angry rush of blood is making me dizzy. Like I’m in control of my emotions. But all I feel is an acrimonious sense of betrayal from someone I don’t even know. “Why would you do that to us?”
Cloris lets out a derisive laugh.
“My dear, it had nothing to do with you.”
“You ruined our lives,” I say, and there’s no mistaking the threat of tears in my voice. I can’t let her see me cry. “You took everything. Why?”
Cloris sits back and regards me with cool detachment. She really doesn’t care, but I need to know. I don’t seek contrition from her, nor do I expect it. What’s done is done. What I need are fucking answers.
“It’s curious,” Cloris says. “How events can transpire. How schemes you set into motion can fail, and yet, somehow fate serves to orchestrate a favorable outcome you don’t foresee until one day the Primary of Heart, herself, comes knocking on your door.”
I chew the inside of my cheek, baffled and afraid and waiting for her to continue.
“I told them, yes,” she says. “Did I do it because I loathed your bitch of a grandmother? If I were to examine my motivations, that might have been part of it, but anything her family suffered was collateral damage. It just happened to make the outcome all that much more satisfying.”
Her lips stretch into a thin, brittle smile. She’s enjoying this.
“Please,” I say, noticing Nadir shift as though he wants to reach out to me. I keep my gaze focused on Cloris, determined not to allow her any information she can use as leverage. Of course, it’s suspicious that I’d show up here with the Aurora Prince, but she doesn’t need to know the full extent of it.
“Your grandmother came to me,” Cloris says, “because she needed me to perform the bonding between her and Wolf. She had discovered that joining two Primaries requires additional precautions compared with a regular bonding.”
My nails dig into my palms as I try to keep my breaths even, knowing another hurdle has just been thrown into our path. My earlier hunch was right.
“I knew how to do it,” Cloris continues. “She promised me something I sought in exchange, but I did not trust her.”
She pauses and picks a piece of lint off her skirt. “So, I went behind her back and told the Aurora King of her plans to double-cross him. You see, the two of them were conspiring to take your great-grandmother’s crown from Heart, and then Serce claimed she would help Rion conquer all of the realms and hand Ouranos over, save her queendom and The Woodlands.”
My breath catches on that revelation. I recall the conversation with Nadir in The Aurora when he reminded me that everything Rion claimed about past events was up against the word of a dead queen. I’m not surprised to hear he massaged the truth to make himself look better.
“Why go to my father?” Nadir asks.
“Because I didn’t like her, and I didn’t trust her. I wanted to keep my options open,” she replies. “And Serce had no intention of honoring her agreement and planned to use the bonding with Wolf to overpower Rion and take everything for herself. I gave the Aurora King everything I knew, and my instincts proved correct because she imprisoned me the moment I assured her I understood how to perform the ritual.”
Cloris pauses; her expression is almost dispassionate, but stifled rage flickers in the depths of her eyes.
“So I pretended to descend into madness to the point she no longer believed me capable of performing the task. Her short-sightedness and her impatience proved to be her downfall. She attempted to perform the ritual herself…”
Cloris stops as if for dramatic effect.
“And you all know how that turned out.”
The room falls silent as my chest twists. I have so many questions that I’m not sure where to begin. My grandmother didn’t just try to take the magic of Heart, she tried to conquer all of Ouranos. She was a monster. A tyrant. A power-hungry murderer.
“Why do that? Surely you knew letting her do it herself might kill everyone, including you?” Nadir asks, and I shoot him a grateful look because I’m not sure I can speak.
Cloris scoffs. “I am one of Zerra’s blessed. The people of this ungrateful continent may have forgotten. They may have let her temples fall into disrepair. They may use her name only in vain, but Zerra lives, and she protects those who serve in her name.”
Cloris’s eyes glaze over with something that feels like it’s hovering just on the fine edge of sanity. Her words stirred from ancient grudges and possibly a less-than-firm grasp on reality.
“I see,” Nadir finally says, and she tapers her gaze as if reading the insincerity in his words. It’s hard to argue with her statement entirely. I saw the blast. Saw the destruction it caused, and she had gotten up and walked out of there almost no worse for wear. Divine intervention might be the only reasonable explanation.
Cloris gives us both a patronizing smile. “Oh, I know what you think of me. These are just the ramblings of a crazy woman, but soon enough, all of you will see that you are wrong. That Zerra lives and grows weary of being ignored.”
Though her words are confident, I sense something hesitant buried within them.
“But?” I ask, hoping my instincts are correct. “Something is not right? What did you want from my grandmother?”
Cloris sniffs, looking down her nose at me.
“The goddess is weakening. Her power fades. Do you think all these stories of the trembling earth, plagued forests, and droughts are mere coincidences? You think there isn’t some bigger purpose at hand?”
Nadir shifts next to me, no doubt thinking about the mine collapse that killed all those low fae. I think about the blackened forests of The Woodlands. The talk in Aphelion of low fish counts and the constant rumbles we’ve felt beneath our feet. Though it was impossible to say why, I felt these events had to be connected. To hear it confirmed sends a prickle of alarm down my neck.
“That’s because of Zerra?” I ask carefully.
“It’s not because of her,” Cloris snaps. “It’s because of all of you. You use your magic with impunity, draining the land and the goddess. It was never meant to be this way.”
“How was it meant to be?” I ask.
Cloris pauses, and I can see her weighing how much she wants to reveal to us.
“You asked what I wanted from your grandmother,” she says, and I nod, perching on the edge of my seat. “Your family had a powerful object called an ark. In exchange for my help, I asked that she relinquish it to me.”
“What is it?” I ask.
An ark. It’s then I remember the Staff mentioned an ark too, but another memory is sticking in the back of my head.
“It’s an object used to channel and amplify magic.”
“Did my grandmother know what it was?”
“At the time, I didn’t believe so.”
“So you were trying to manipulate her?” I accuse.
Cloris presses her lips together, her eyes dimming.
“Your grandmother was the manipulator, Lor. Don’t act like I was the only one who was wrong here.”
“So why did you tell Atlas and the Aurora King about me?” I ask. “What was the purpose?”
“Because I still seek the ark, and your magic is tied to it.” She says the words swiftly, like she doesn’t really want me to hear them.
“What does that mean?” Nadir asks. “Be specific. None of these evasive answers. What are they?”
“Each Artefact has a corresponding ark,” Cloris says, though I can tell it guts her to admit that to us. “And their magic is bound together.”
“So you want to use me to find it,” I say, my voice devoid of emotion. All I am is a pawn in everyone’s fucking schemes.
“Would the ark have saved Serce and Wolf?” Nadir asks, already one step ahead of me. “Was that what they needed to complete their bond?”
Cloris laughs, surprising me with the sound.
“Oh, Aurora Prince. I will not be revealing all of my secrets today.”
Again, I exchange a look with him. Was that a yes or a no?
“Why are you telling us any of this?” Nadir asks. “None of this explains why you revealed Lor to Atlas and my father.”
Cloris taps her bottom lip.
“Well, that is all a very good story,” she says. “Shall I tell it?”
“If you want my help, then you will tell me everything,” I say.
Next to her is a small table with a decanter of bourbon and a crystal tumbler. She pours herself a measure and takes a long sip. She doesn’t offer us any as she refills her glass, acting like we’re not even here. I wonder just how much she was pretending to go crazy to fool my grandmother or if it was a short walk off that cliff.
“I searched the castle after the explosion. Sorted through the rubble for days, keeping myself hidden from those who came to search for survivors, but the ark was nowhere to be found. I suspected Serce had known all along what it was. She had double-crossed me in ways I didn’t even realize. Or maybe something else happened. I couldn’t be sure.
“At any rate, I continued searching. Not just in and around Heart—because I had no true way of knowing if it had ever been there—but all over the continent, lying low. I had to stay hidden. No one could know that I had survived. They cursed me nearly as much as they did her for a long time, and it suited my purpose to let everyone think I was dead.”
“Why did you want it?” I ask. “For what purpose?”
“For Zerra,” she said. “I was tasked with finding it centuries ago and have been hunting for it most of my life.”
“Why? What does she need it for?”
“I will tell you anything that pertains directly to you,” she says. “However, my relationship with my goddess is private.”
The hard glare she gives me suggests she will not waver on this point.
“So then what?” I ask, brushing past it for now, resolving to come back to this later.
“Eventually, I realized I’d need someone with the magic of Heart to find it. And while the magic was ostensibly gone for the whole of Serce’s mistakes, I knew someone else had survived that night and that someone else had carefully safeguarded the magic from being taken from the Primary.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. “Safeguarded it?”
Cloris pierces me with a penetrating stare. “Do you have it? The piece of the Heart Crown that Daedra bestowed on your mother?”
Again, I try not to react.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Cloris studies me, and I’m almost positive she doesn’t believe my lie.
“Daedra saw her daughter for who she was that night and understood that Serce had gone over the edge. I watched the Heart Queen send a piece of the Crown with the next Primary.”
“Why?” Nadir asks, sitting forward.
“I suspect it was a way to escape punishment when Serce tried to steal the magic of Heart. The gift of the Primary would pass over her and on to the next. Only no one could have predicted what would happen instead.”
“The explosion. That was the punishment?” he says.
“No,” Cloris says. “That was the bonding she tried to orchestrate herself—there was too much power between them to seal it without precautions. The punishment was when everyone lost their magic for fifty years.”
My vision swims at that revelation. I remember the story Nadir told me. That everyone hated my grandmother because they all lost their magic. None of it had been an accident.
His mouth opens and then closes, a grim set forming to his mouth. “How did Daedra know to give away a piece of the Crown?”
I’m glad he’s the one asking questions, because my mind can’t stop tilting.
Cloris shrugs her bony shoulders. “I can only assume the Crown must have revealed it to her at some point. Perhaps it was as desperate as she was. Whatever the case, I found the child. And lo and behold, not only was she still alive, she was in possession of the magic her grandmother had saved.
“And had three children.”
She levels another look my way.
“I wasn’t expecting to find such strength in someone so young. While my initial goal was your mother the day I encountered you in the forest, I wondered if perhaps she wasn’t the Primary after all. The magic had skipped to you instead. I had intended to use you as leverage against your mother, but you should not have been able to do that to me. It was then I knew you were the reason the Crown had seen fit to protect your family from Serce’s greed.”
I grind my teeth, wishing I had killed her that day. I can’t believe I ever felt bad about it.
“When you managed to best me, I knew I had to find another way. I returned to the most ambitious king in Ouranos, told him what I knew, and waited for him to root you out.”
She sits back and allows those words to settle. She doesn’t need to tell me what came next. Twelve long years behind those bars. I’ve lived those days over and over so many times.
“But you were a tricky thing,” Cloris says with a wrinkle of her nose. “Rion was skeptical of my claims. Suspicious of me despite the way I’d handed Serce’s betrayal to him on a platter. And you refused to let him see your magic. You nearly convinced him you weren’t who I promised you were.”
She purses her lips as though all of that was my fault. I want to stand up and slap her.
“My, how you screamed,” she says in a nearly musical voice, and I’m on my feet in a flash. Nadir’s arms wrap around me as I swing with my fist, barely missing her face. She leans back only a fraction as she clings to that thin, horrid smile.
“You were there,” I spit. “You saw what he did?”
She waves her hand as if it’s of no importance, and I lunge again, but Nadir holds tight.
“Lor,” he whispers softly. I know he’s angry too. I can feel him shaking, but he’s also right that clobbering her will get us nowhere.
Let her keep talking.
Cloris narrows her gaze, her eyes flicking between us, and I hope I imagine the knowing spark that flashes in her eyes.
“When you refused to reveal yourself, I convinced him to let you live,” she continues as though nothing has happened. “So he threw you into that prison for safekeeping, but he was done with me.”
Drawing a deep breath, I attempt to settle my temper as I gather my thoughts. I don’t need to hear Nadir to know he’s doing everything he can to stop himself from tearing apart this entire room.
“And then what?” I ask after a moment. “Why Atlas next?”
“Because I still needed someone to get you out of there. Someone with proper motivation. When I showed up, he was about to bond to someone else.”
“You’re the reason he canceled the first Trials,” I say, and she nods.
“Indeed. When I told him about you, he immediately called them off and started working on a plan to get you out of Nostraza.”
“He wanted to bond with Lor?” Nadir asks. “Can he actually do that? Wouldn’t he have the same issues that Wolf and Serce did?”
“Technically,” Cloris says after a brief pause, but there’s something false in it. “But I didn’t tell him any of that.”
I drop onto the sofa, cradling my face in my hands, stunned at everything I’ve just heard. I’ve wondered for so long what series of events brought me to that throne room in Aphelion, but I never imagined any of this.
“Did you know it was me the other day?” I ask. “Did you recognize me?”
“I did,” she says.
“So why didn’t you go to Atlas then?” Nadir asks.
“Why are you so sure I didn’t?”
Nadir levels her with a look, and she rolls her eyes.
“Because he failed, didn’t he? The Mirror rejected her as I suspected it would, and now I have no use for him. I just needed her out of Nostraza. He’s fulfilled his purpose, and now what I need is Lor.”
She looks at me, and I snort in derision before she leans forward.
“Did the Mirror reveal anything to you?”
I arch an eyebrow. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Cloris pinches her mouth together and sits back.
“Have you recovered your magic?” she asks carefully, as if she knows she’s crossing a line.
“Yes,” I say with a pointed glare. “And it’s incredibly strong.”
She doesn’t need to know how much I’m still struggling with it, but let her think I’m dangerous.
“And before you ask, I have no idea where the ark is.”
But her question about the Mirror knocks something loose, a fragment rattling as it hits the floor.
A gift for you.
What if it’s not my magic at all, but something else that was lost?
“Hmm,” Cloris replies. “I figured you’d say that, and I am inclined to believe you.”
“So what do you want then?” Nadir asks, gritting. His teeth “You’re doing an awful lot of sharing right now.”
Cloris smiles. “There is nothing I’ve told you that can harm me in any way. Your father was a fool not to believe me, but now he knows the truth, and I don’t give a whit about what happens to Atlas.”
“Then what?” Nadir asks again.
“I want to make a bargain,” Cloris says. “You find me the ark, and I won’t reveal your location to either king currently hunting for your pretty little neck.”
I scoff. “I’ve already proven once that I can kill you. I’ll just end you now and be done with it.” I point a thumb at Nadir. “And I have backup. This time, I’ll make sure you’re dead for good.”
Her nostrils flare and her mouth pinches together before her expression smooths over.
“You think you’re both so clever, don’t you? That you can fool me?”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, and she looks down, picking at the fabric of her skirt and rearranging it around her ankles before she addresses me again.
“You think a High Priestess can’t detect a mate bond when she’s in the presence of one? I was the first to know your grandmother was pregnant, too. I might not have the flash and destruction you possess, but I still hold power in my own ways.”
An evil light shines in her eyes.
She doesn’t need to voice the threat or the offer now dangling at the end of a dead olive branch: I help her, and she helps us overcome whatever obstacles we need to seal the bond.
My gaze bounces to Nadir, and I’m sure I can guess what he’s thinking.
Cloris rolls her eyes. “You two couldn’t possibly be more obvious.”
A low growl gathers in my throat.
She laughs, once again reveling in the power of the upper hand.
“Do we have a bargain?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You do that. It would be such a shame to see another love like yours go”—she springs her fingers apart—“poof.”
Once I get my magic back, maybe I can use it to force the answer out of her.
And then fry her to a crisp.
Nadir and I stand and head for the door.
“You still bear his mark, I see.”
“What?” I spin around.
She’s standing now, and she flicks her pointer finger in my direction. “On your face.”
My scar. I touch my cheek, cold dread slithering down my neck. I’ve always borne this scar proudly, because it reminded me of what I would do to protect the people I love most.
“I got this from the prison guards. I was protecting my sister.”
A wicked glee crosses her expression.
“The mind is a funny thing,” she muses. “The way it can twist a truth and bury a memory we’d rather forget, turning it into something that feels a little more manageable. A little more… noble, perhaps?”
Her meaning becomes clear a moment later. This is a mark from Rion. From what he did to me. His magic made this mark, and I’ve been wearing it around like a fucking brand to match the one on my shoulder. A reminder that no matter how far I run, I still belong to him.
Suddenly, I feel like I’ve been dipped in toxic sludge as heat spreads over my chest and back. I stare at her, my heart sinking down through my ribs and tumbling to my feet.
“I’ll await your answer, Lor,” she says, and then slams the door in my face.