Chapter 17
After having my assistant set hours at six of the Velvet Whisper locations in the area, I had her create a travel itinerary, complete with restaurant reservations, a car, and a hotel for a singular night.
It was emailed to Juliette this morning, and requires two full-days of photography work, with a stay at the Ritz so she doesn’t have to spend time in the car between shoots.
Via email, Juliette accepted the agenda and terms, and the car will be at her apartment on Monday morning.
Eight days have crawled by since Kat’s wedding, and Juliette still won’t pick up the phone. Every unanswered call lands like a fist to the sternum.
That day on the sidewalk, when she finally looked me in the eye and confessed she’d had a crush on me for years–I couldn’t speak.
Every single word I wanted to say got lodged in my throat.
I just stood there, staring at the woman telling me I’d lived in her fantasies since she understood what desire even was.
How the hell is the only woman other than my late wife who has ever cracked me wide open the same age as my daughter? Her best friend, no less. The universe has a fucking vicious sense of humor.
That truth hit me hardest in her living room, when I was buried deep inside her, her body tight and trembling around me, her breath breaking against my neck in those soft, desperate sounds that undid me completely.
I felt it rising as I made love to her, that terrifying, enormous thing I haven’t felt since Katherine.
Overwhelmed doesn’t begin to cover it. I panicked.
I pulled away, muttered some pathetic excuse, and left her there, naked, and hurt.
I walked out in the middle of making love to the most exquisite woman I’ve ever touched.
Had I not left, and instead, had broken down and cried right there on top of her, while inside of her, I probably would have recovered with more dignity than this.
But I didn’t. And now she’s gone silent. Every ring that goes to voicemail is proof I don’t deserve her anyway.
She likely believes we’ve said what we had to say, with her spilling her truths outside of Nineteen20 the other day. But I stood there, hypnotized by how beautiful she looks with tears in her eyes, entranced by her admissions, and said fucking nothing.
Kat and Zennie get home from their honeymoon tonight, and tomorrow we’re having a family dinner to hear about their trip, look at their photos, and in general, bask in the success of the wedding.
Tomorrow is Monday, and Juliette will be leaving for her two-day stint and first away trip as a professional photographer, travelling around the outskirts of the bay to visit the other Velvet locations.
Though there’s not much for certain between myself and Juliette as of now, still, I know what needs to be done. I’m an idiot for not seeing it before.
I call my brother, and he puts me on speaker phone, sharing a cab with Avery and Sutton as the three of them head to a show.
“What can we bring?” he asks, assuming the call is a reminder about family dinner.
“What can our chef make, you mean,” my nephew says drily in the background.
I clear my throat. “I’m going to talk to Kat about maybe pursuing Juliette, and I wanted you all to be there.”
“Oh good,” Avery hums. “Kat’s so cool, I don’t think she’ll take issue with it.”
Sutton scoffs. “She’ll be thrilled for you to hang up your philandering ways.”
I don’t say anything to that, and not because I get off to the entire world thinking I’m a player.
The reality is, the truth is private, and exposes a side of me not meant for the public at large.
Geo gets to know me because he is my therapist, in many ways.
But sharing with my nephew and his wife, and my children? No thank you.
“We’ll be there, of course,” my brother adds. Then, “is Juliette already on the road? For the project?”
I glance down at the printed itinerary splayed out before me, and find the line item that matches the current time.
“Tomorrow, she is. She’ll be at the Ritz, too.”
I don’t know if Juliette feels this intense connection between us, and maybe she doesn’t.
Maybe she’s just looking for a physical connection, and I got lucky geographically.
You know, right place, right time. Or maybe she was trying to live out her old crush.
Maybe talking to Kat about pursuing Juliette will result in my family knowing I was massively rejected by a woman half my age.
But I know what I’ve felt recently. And I know how long it’s been since I’ve felt it. And I don’t want my daughter to be upset, or my son, but I can’t ignore this pull.
I want her too much.
“Show him the photos of you and the caricature artist,” Zennie laughs, peering over Kat’s shoulder as she flips through prints. My daughter-in-law casts me a sidelong glance. “This artist looked like a caricature himself. It was so funny.”
“I think that was a costume, or like, prosthetics,” Kat says laughing. “There’s no way he had that chin and nose with his profession.”
“Maybe that’s why he chose to be a caricature artist,” Cade says drily.
Kat finds the photo, and Elle circles the bar, coming behind the three of them. “Oh that’s definitely a prosthetic,” she says, laughing. I flip the last steak as Geo, Avery and Sutton emerge from the patio, champagne in hand, but just juice for Avery, who is expecting.
“Almost ready,” I tell them as Noah collects the plates from the counter and begins setting them out at the table.
Cade hasn’t brought anyone to dinner in years and while I realize Noah is just his buddy, still, I’m glad to see he isn’t completely alone. And I’m glad to see he has someone in his life.
Over dinner, Kat and Zennie share about their short honeymoon, telling us of all the wonderful things they explored in…
Los Angeles. With Zennie’s mom in treatment, they didn’t feel comfortable going far.
After she’s in remission, they’ve promised one another to take a real honeymoon.
Until then, their trip to Disneyland is dinner fodder, and takes us to dessert.
Avery says she’s too full for chocolate cake, complete with her favorite ganache, and settles around the fire with a hot cocoa instead.
With Cade, Noah, Kat, Zen, Sutton, Geo and Elle scattered around the table, everyone in private, quiet conversations as we work our way through a three-layer cake and two pots of coffee, I decide now is the time.
I slide onto the chair next to Kat, and she turns, giving me her full attention as Zennie gives her attention to the cake. “Glad you’re both back, glad it was fun,” I tell them, reaching back to collect the manila envelope off the bar. It’s been sitting there for over a week.
“This is for both of you. It’s your starter investment portfolio.” I tip my head in Cade’s direction, at the end of the table in quiet conversation with Noah, and add, “he’ll get one when he gets married, too.”
She flips it open, and her eyes go wide as she takes in all of the line items and the information.
“Dad, this is too generous. This is too much.” She closes the folder with tears in her eyes.
“But it will absolutely be the base for our future, and our future children's future, too.” She loops her arms around my neck, and I hold her in a hug while she tells me she loves me, and thanks me again and again.
I clear my throat, and hold my daughter’s gaze, having missed the softness in her expression, and the familiarity of her face. “I’m glad you’re back.”
She rolls her lips together, the dark stain wearing off after a long day. “Okay… but…why are you still giving me that look?”
My heart leaps into my throat. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Kat bats her lashes in rapid succession, squeezing my hand. “Why am I nervous?”
Me too, honey, I think, but instead cast a cautionary glance at Geo, whose focus is raptly aimed at us. With my eyes back on my daughter, I spare us both the preamble. “I want to be honest with you about something.”
I feel Cade’s head lift from his private conversation, and caution a glance his way. Quickly, I motion for him to join us, but he doesn’t move. He does, however, remain focused on our talk. I face Kat.
“I have feelings for Juliette.” Just five words, but it feels like so much more. Kat’s expression remains the same. Finally, she braces her hand against her chest. “My Juliette?”
Cade then appears at my side, settling in the chair next to me. From across the room, Elle pours herself a brandy, and settles into the chair next to Avery’s. I refocus on my children.
“Cade, I was just sharing that I have feelings for Juliette Wilson.” Sweat lines my back and I do my best not to fidget, surprised by this being more uncomfortable than I thought. “And I want to pursue them.”
Cade puts his hand on my shoulder, and squeezes, but doesn’t say a word. Simply slides his glasses off with his free hand and hooks the arm through his pullover neckline. His other hand stays on my shoulder. Kat looks between us, and then I realize the expression on her face.
Betrayal.
“Of all the people out there that you haven’t already boned, why do you have to go for Juliette?
It’s not enough that she’s my age, but you knew her before she even had tits, Dad.
That’s… fucked up!” She slams her palms onto the table and gets to her feet.
“I love you. I’ve watched you be a man whore with no judgement.
But just because you’ve banged your way through the city and you’ve ran out of women, doesn’t mean Juliette is next. ”
She stomps away from the table, leaving me in shock. By the time I’m on my feet, trying to go after her, Geo has a palm to the center of my chest. I glance back to where Avery was sitting with Elle, and find Avery’s blanket in a puddle on the floor, neither woman in sight.