Chapter 17 #2
“I thought she’d be okay with it.” I swallow the knot of confusion and panic lodged in my throat, unfamiliar with feeling so uncertain. I hate this feeling. “I thought she’d be okay with it,” I repeat.
Kat has never been angry with me like this. I rub the back of my neck.
“I know,” Geo nods, and Elle approaches, placing her empty brandy glass on the counter. She takes my hand, and squeezes. Cade pats my shoulder. “I’ll talk to her, okay?”
I nod my head, but can hardly think. Cade and Noah leave, and I realize then that Zennie has left, too, likely chasing Kat. Around the empty plates and partially eaten cake, Geo, Elle and I sit at the table.
Geo breaks the silence first.
“Are you and Juliette–” he stops because I shake my head, killing whatever way that sentence was going to end.
“No. Nothing is going on. But I want to talk to her when she gets back tomorrow. I want to tell her how I feel,” I admit, feeling exposed.
For years, I’ve dated, bought dinners and fancy cocktails, paraded around with beautiful women on one or both of my arms. Being the “speakeasy king,” the tattooed mysterious man is what I know.
Showing my loved ones the darkest part of me, the most hidden, private part of myself–that’s uncomfortable. But I can’t ignore these feelings.
I never would have ignored them when I met Katherine, and had I ignored them, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be me. My children wouldn’t be them, and this life would cease to exist.
The last time I chased this feeling, I gained everything, even though I lost something, too.
Elle breaks her silence. “Do the kids know?”
I split a glance between her and Geo. I shake my head, and Geo turns to face Elle. “Why would he tell his kids?”
She glares at him. “Because they’re close.”
“Not sex life details close,” Geo retorts.
“Coming from you,” Elle banters, proving her point.
I sigh. “They don’t know because I always assumed that they took some solace in believing I had a new date each night. I guess it was for my image to the public but also, for them. So they wouldn’t worry about me being lonely.”
Geo’s phone rattles, and he relays the message Sutton has just sent him. “He’s driving everyone home, then he and Avery will come back and get me. Kat’s upset, but Zennie doesn’t seem bothered. That’s all I know.”
I nod, taking in the information. “I guess it was foolish to expect Kat to have any reaction other than that.”
“It doesn’t mean you should stop your pursuits,” Geo says.
“It feels like I should,” I admit. I rake a hand down my chest, feeling unwell and achy.
Because even though I should probably stop, I don’t think I can.
What I felt inside her that night was so potent and special, I can’t ignore it.
But I have to put my daughter first, too.
Elle catches my hand, and smiles. “It’s going to be okay. ”
I look at how our hands lie together, at hers closed around mine in support. I look up at Elle. “She thinks that you and I have a romantic relationship,” I tell her, understanding at this moment, exactly why Juliette would think that.
“Whatever could’ve given her that idea,” Geo says pointedly, glaring at our hands. Elle and Geo get along just fine. But they bicker all the time, mostly because they both believe they know what’s best for me.
Elle takes her hand away, her smile measured. “We’ve been close for years. She really believes that?”
I nod, then scratch the back of my head, letting out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what to do,” I admit.
“Kat just needs time. Okay? She will be okay. She’s smart, and she loves you both.” Geo slams his palm to the counter. “There, one thing has been resolved. What’s next?”
I sigh. “Well, I don’t even know if I’m chasing something viable. We had one tawdry evening and outside of that–” the words fall away when Geo snorts.
“You know how you feel when you are with her. And sure, she may not feel the same. But you have to follow through.” He shakes his head. “You owe it to yourself, and quite frankly, to Katherine.”
Replaying the moment on the sidewalk, my eyes burn. I just stood there, staring at the ring on her finger wondering what it would look like for her to wear Katherine’s ring. And when she launched into my relationship with Elle, I didn’t say a word. Like a fucking idiot.
Elle gathers her long-cropped locks into a loose clip at the nape of her neck, then slips her arms into her camel coat. Geo and I watch her in silence, the weight of the evening still hanging thick in the air.
Bag slung over her shoulder, she steps close and presses a soft kiss to my cheek. Her hand lingers on my forearm, warm and reassuring.
“It will work out, Ford,” she says quietly, her voice steady with the certainty only old friends can offer.
“Feelings like these don’t lie. They never have.
And stop being insecure–she’s completely smitten with you.
I’ve been waiting for this to happen, if I’m honest.” She rolls her lips together, then fishes a tube of deep berry lipstick from her purse, dabbing it on with the pad of her finger.
“Truthfully, I’m shocked it took this long. ”
Geo snorts from his chair. “You didn’t know she had the hots for him.”
Elle shoots him a glare sharp enough to slice glass, then turns those knowing eyes back to me. “No,” she says, shaking her head. “But I did know how you felt about her. I noticed a few years ago when she came over with a guy, and you turned pale as a sheet.”
Geo’s smile is sad, as if this news makes him pity me.
“The next time you look at Juliette,” Elle continues, voice softer now, “I’m going to take a picture. And I’m going to show it to her. Because when you look at that girl, Ford, every ounce of hope you’ve ever carried is written across your face. No one else has ever put it there. Not even close.”
She gives my arm one last gentle squeeze, murmurs a quiet goodbye, and slips out the door, heels clicking softly as she goes.
The room falls silent again–just me and my brother, the low hum of the city beyond the windows. After a long moment, Geo clears his throat. “Kat will come around.”
I drag a hand over my face, staring at the empty doorway Elle left behind.
God, I hope he’s right.
Because losing Juliette before I’ve even truly had her already feels like the kind of regret a man doesn’t recover from.