Chapter Twenty #2
Nate cupped my cheek, the barest touch, and his smile softened. “Just let the cards fall where they may, Livi. If you and Cam are meant to be, that’s where you’ll land. If not… maybe we’ll see where this goes. You can’t always fight it.”
“You really believe that?” I asked, heart thumping.
He started walking again, slow and easy, and I followed.
“I do,” Nate replied, his voice soft as he pulled out his wallet and handed cash to the teenager inside the booth. He handed me my ticket, then quickly purchased his own, and we stepped through the metal turnstile together.
The smell of fried food and sugar hit me right away, and I hesitated there, just inside the gate, slightly overwhelmed. “I haven’t been to one of these since I was a kid,” I confessed.
Nate fell in step beside me. “Then you’re overdue. Hungry?”
I thought about it. “A little.”
“Me too.”
I gave him a mock glare, resisting the urge to laugh. “Of course you are.”
He winked. “What are you thinking?”
We strolled past row after row of booths, each one shouting for attention: corn dogs, pretzels, slices of greasy pizza, caramel apples. I wanted all of it and none of it at once. The choices loomed, dizzying and impossible.
Finally, I said, “Well, I can’t come to a fair and not get funnel cake, right?”
“Funnel cake it is. With fruit?”
I shook my head decisively. “Nah, let’s go old-fashioned.”
He ordered, and we found a picnic table under a buzzing string of lights. The funnel cake came out scalding, dusted with powdered sugar that sprinkled over the cardboard plate and onto our laps.
I pinched off a piece, blew on it, and let it rest on my tongue.
The heat and crispy sweetness almost made me moan.
I did, actually; it felt impossible not to.
Nate was looking at me, his gaze so focused it was like a hand pressed to my cheek.
The air between us grew thick and warm, like the sugar drifting down.
I broke off another piece, cooled it, and held it out to him.
He leaned forward, lips brushing my fingers as he took it from me, the brief contact so gentle and so electric I felt the touch settle somewhere deep in my stomach.
This was already getting out of hand.
We finished the funnel cake in silence, neither of us in a hurry, both watching the crowds as night rolled in and the lights glittered to life overhead.
I found myself watching the families: a toddler on her father’s shoulders, a couple wrangling a trio of kids through the line for lemonade.
One little girl, blonde ringlets bobbing, tugged her red balloon behind her and waved at me as she passed.
I waved back, my smile fading just a little as I wondered if my own daughter, the daughter I’d never have, might’ve had Cam’s black hair or my copper-tinged blonde.
Nate caught me staring. “Where’d you go?” he asked, tracking my gaze to the family as they drifted away.
I shook my head. “Sorry,” I said.
“Did you also dream of a big family?” he pressed, gentle.
I nodded. “It was Cam’s idea, really, but… it grew on me, too. I wouldn’t mind being a mother.”
He looked at me with a kind of steady certainty. “For the record, I think you’d be a great one.”
I gave him a small smile. “Thanks.”
He didn’t let it go. “I’m not just saying that. It takes patience and understanding. You have both. You’re a little too empathetic, honestly.”
I tilted my head. “What does that mean?”
He laughed softly. “No offense. Just… what you’re doing for your husband. Letting him figure out his stuff, even though it hurts you. Most people wouldn’t.”
I shrugged, bracing my arms on the table.
“I’m not the only woman who’s said yes to an open marriage,” I said quietly.
“But you’re right, in a way. I used to think we were unbreakable.
That our love was this… stone foundation.
But maybe there was always a fault line.
My infertility just turned a tremor into a full-on earthquake. ”
It was too much, suddenly. I gathered up our trash, hands shaking a little, and walked it over to the nearest bin. The air outside the spill of light was cool and bracing.
Nate caught up to me. “What do you want to do now?”
I seized the chance to pivot away from the heaviness. “Rides, obviously,” I said, and jabbed him in the ribs.
He flinched, pretending to be injured, but I could see the glint in his eye. I made a beeline for the Balloon Race ride and ignored his loud, “Really, Livi?” behind me.
“Why not?” I said, already in line.
He tried to steer me away. “Don’t you want something a little more exciting?”
I reached out and latched onto his arm. “What’s not exciting about spinning in a giant balloon bucket? Live a little, Nate.”
He surrendered with a laugh. “If you say so.”
We chose the red bucket, of course, because that was my favorite color.
The ride operator checked the seatbelts, making a show of it, though I couldn’t see how anyone could ever fall out.
The ride started, and within seconds, Nate had his phone out and was recording us as the bucket spun and rocked.
The centrifugal force shoved us together; I shrieked, and he started deliberately shifting back and forth, making the bucket jerk wildly.
“Knock it off!” I swatted at his arm. “You’re going to get us kicked off!”
He turned the camera toward me, grinning. “Smile for the camera, birdie!”
I tossed my head back and laughed. “You’re insane.”
He only grinned wider. “Crazy for you, beautiful.”
The words stunned me, but not in a bad way.
I looked at him, really looked at him. Cam was the one with the movie-star looks and magnetic charm, but Nate…
Nate’s goofy dimple and crooked smile were suddenly so endearing it made my chest ache.
The more time I spent with him, the more I realized: he was becoming attractive in a way that was all his own.
When the ride ended, he helped me out of the lurching bucket and, confusingly, never let go of my hand. I didn’t mind.
He led me through the line to the next ride, The Pendulum. My heart lurched as I stared at the towering arc, the people already on it swinging dizzyingly high.
I hesitated. “I don’t know about this one.”
He squeezed my hand. “It’s fine, trust me.”
“I've seen the news stories,” I muttered. “These things fly off the rails.”
He just chuckled. “You’re more likely to die in a car accident than on a fair ride. It’ll be fine. I promise.” He pulled my hand up and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I’ll take care of you.”
So I let myself get guided into the seat beside him, the safety bar snapping into place over my ribs.
“I don’t like this,” I blurted as we creaked up and over the first hill.
He leaned in so I could hear him. “I know it’s scary to let go of control, even for five minutes. But sometimes you gotta live in the moment—not get lost in all the what-ifs. Just… let go, Livi.” His eyes found mine. “If you fall, trust yourself to catch you.”
He was talking about the ride, but I could tell he wasn’t only talking about the ride. Cam would have stepped out of line with me, no questions asked, but Nate was here, encouraging me to push the boundaries a little, reach for something just for the sake of reaching.
So I did. I shut my eyes and let the wind whip across my face.
Listened to the rush of air, the shrieks of other riders.
Felt Nate’s warm hand clutching mine, reliable and strong.
Every time the pendulum reached its apex, my stomach twisted, but in a way that was thrilling, not sickening.
I opened my eyes and watched as the fair lights turned into streaks of color below us. It was breathtaking.
I screamed, not in terror but in pure exhilaration.
When we spilled out of the ride, my cheeks ached from smiling. I’d always been scared of rides like that, but something inside me had shifted; I wanted more.
We walked for a while, soaking in the sights, until Nate paused in front of a shooting game booth. The man in charge must have stepped straight out of some carnival cartoon, complete with handlebar mustache.
“Step right up, folks!” he bellowed. “That pretty little lady deserves a big prize. Impress her, son!”
Nate grinned shamelessly as he paid for a chance at the water gun game. He flashed me his dimple just before the round started, then zeroed in on the blinking targets, fingers quick and sure. A handful of seconds and he’d outshot all the competition, three games in a row.
“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s big winner!” the carnie crowed. “What’ll it be?”
Nate pointed at the largest black-and-purple unicorn on the rack. I snuggled the plush close to my chest, unable to suppress a burst of laughter.
“I love it!” I told him.
His eyes sparkled. “It’s magical, like you.”
I carried the unicorn like a trophy as Nate swept through game after game, somehow dominating every single one.
“How are you this good?” I demanded, slurping lemonade from a paper cup. “I thought these were rigged.”
He shrugged. “Some of them are. But I worked the fair as a teenager. Learned the tricks.”
“Did they pay well?”
He snorted. “Not even a little. But you got free food and rides, and plenty of practice at the games. Plus”—he shot me a lopsided grin, almost shy—“the girls liked it. Met my first girlfriend running the Ferris wheel. She kept coming back ‘til she confessed she had a crush.”
We paused by a food truck, where Nate paid for my lemonade before I could argue. “You just started dating her?” I asked.
He nodded. “She was hot, I was a nerd—it worked. Until college. We drifted.”
“How long did you date?”
He thought about it. “About two years. We met when I was a junior.”
I grimaced at my lemonade. “Sour,” I muttered.
“Speaking of Ferris wheels…” Nate gestured at the huge silhouetted wheel nearby. “Want to go for a spin?”