Chapter 6
Chapter Six
RIVER
Lola’s dorm was more beautifully decorated than any one I’d ever been in.
The running pattern was white and light green. The furniture, bedding, carpets, and even all the appliances were some shade of green, complemented with white. Her dorm was so neat and perfect that when Lola offered me a glass of fruit punch, I turned it down because I was too afraid I’d spill it.
“You can have a seat, you know.” Lola pulled out her desk chair for me.
I stood in the middle of the room, like a child whose mother had told them off for touching things in the store. Having been a curious kid myself, I got that talk often, so I knew how to keep my hands by my sides.
But she was insisting, so I sat on the edge. “You can’t get mad if I get your white chair dirty.”
“Seat covers can be washed, River. It’s no big deal,” she assured me. “I need you to be comfortable so you’ll pull your weight in the project.”
Slightly offended by her implications, I scoffed. “What makes you think I won’t pull my weight?”
Lola’s answer was simple. “You’re an athlete.”
“And? That doesn’t mean I won’t put in my fair share.”
“That’s what they all say.”
I was planning to pull my weight… kind of. Alright—somewhat, but I was certainly going to try to add helpful input. I needed a decent grade in the class to stay on the basketball team. However, I wouldn’t be upset if Alex and Lola deemed my contribution unnecessary and did all the hard work.
My phone buzzed in my pocket at the same time Lola’s dinged. It was the group chat she created yesterday with me, her, and Alex, and he had just sent a message letting us know he was downstairs.
Lola left me in her dorm while she went to get him.
In the meantime, I admired her roommate’s side of the room.
Where Lola’s side was neat and bright, her roommate’s was unorganized and dark.
Clothes lay scattered on her bed, and she didn’t have many decorations, but the few she had didn’t bring out any light.
Considering what I learned about Lola in the couple of weeks I knew her, I was sure it ticked her off to have such an opposing roommate.
I was eyeing a photo of who I assumed was her roommate when the door swung open, and in came my partners, with a child trotting behind them.
The last time I saw Alex’s niece, she was only a year old.
I remembered holding her one day, and she was smaller than anyone I’d ever held before.
She had cute, chubby cheeks and pretty gray eyes that looked like an illusion.
The chubby cheeks were gone, and her eye color had changed, but in a way, she was still the same baby I met once.
“Hi.” I stooped to her level and smiled. “Millie, right?”
“Don’t wear it out,” she sassed, her grin cheeky.
I stifled a laugh. “I’m River.”
“You’re the one who beat up the vending machine!” Millie gasped.
“Glad to see I’m memorable for something.”
“Millie, you can sit on my bed.” Lola pointed at her green duvet. “It’s like lying on a cloud.”
Alex nudged the girl to climb onto the lofted twin bed. She climbed on it with ease, rolled onto her stomach, and played her iPad quietly while the rest of us got to work.
“So, River has no clue about what we’re supposed to be doing,” Lola gave me a disapproving glare as she took a seat on the carpet. “Alex, please tell me you didn’t stare at the wall the whole class and actually listened.”
“I listened.” Alex began unpacking his things. “We need to pick a topic.”
“A topic?” I flipped my chair around to face the two of them. “That’s easy. We can choose climate change. Professors always love it when we ramble about climate change.”
Alex took a seat next to Lola, shaking his head dismissively. “We could, but that’s what everyone picks. Do you feel like trying to make our project stand out against everyone else's? I sure don’t. Plus, that’s a bit of a boring topic.”
Lola nodded sharply. “I agree. What if we talk about something more relatable?”
Alex hummed in agreement. “We could talk about social media addiction and how it affects people our age.”
“It might be hypocritical for me to talk about that,” Lola muttered.
“Same. Also, that topic is kind of boring,” I said, my tone flat and petty.
As Alex scrolled on his laptop, I watched his eyes roll in a subtle, annoyed way, and I almost scoffed. How dare he knock my idea like that? My suggestion wasn’t exactly innovative, but it was better than nothing. And who did he think he was acting so dismissively toward me?
Maybe I was a hypocrite.
“We could talk about the stigma around mental health and stress in college students,” Lola suggested softly. “I think that’s relatable to all of us, and there are a lot of good points we could make.”
“I like that idea,” Alex said.
I flicked my gaze at Lola. “So do I.”
I learned we had to create a five-minute-long presentation with data, examples, and videos.
We were supposed to convince the audience of how our topic was harmful to society and the ways we could come up with to fix it.
We needed to research and include precise details, so it was due at the end of the semester.
We spent the next hour brainstorming the layout of our slideshow and even tackled a little research. If I had to rate how bored I was on a scale of one to ten, I’d give it a fifty.
Whether or not I liked it, Alex and I were partners, so I couldn’t pretend he didn’t exist. To gauge his reactions, I spoke to him as I did to Lola. He responded to me just as he did her—like we’d just met. In a way, we did just meet, and I had no right to be pissed at that.
But it didn’t change that I was.
“It’s getting late, and I have to help Millie with homework.” Alex shut his laptop with a sympathetic smile.
“Same,” I said with a yawn. “But I don’t need to help anyone with homework. I need to do my own.”
Lola’s hand cupped her chin, and a playful smile tugged at her lips. “Jocks do homework?”
Ignoring the bellows of laughter from Lola, I packed my things.
I wondered if she made cheap jokes like that to any of the other guys on the team, or if it was just a me thing.
Regardless, she was only trolling, but I was disappointed in myself with my lack of rebuttals. I needed to step up my game.
Alex, Millie, and I said our goodbyes to Lola after we discussed another day to work on the godforsaken project.
As we left the building, our paths lined up, so we walked in uncomfortable silence.
I thought Millie would have helped with the tension, but she, too, was quiet.
Her face was glued to the much more important iPad, causing her to struggle to walk in a straight line.
I kept my gaze on my shoes as we walked, before I gave into the urge to make conversation. “So… why did you join our group?”
“Lola invited me,” he replied simply.
“Yeah, but you were already in a group with your friend,” I intoned. “Not that I was watching you. I just pay a lot of attention to what’s going on around me instead of listening to the professor.”
Alex gripped Millie’s shoulder and pulled her from the edge of the sidewalk before wedging her between us. “Sounds like you were watching me.”
“Why would I be watching you?” I asked bluntly.
His gaze flickered to mine, over it. “You tell me.”
I came to an abrupt halt, causing Alex to slow and turn to me with furrowed brows.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t watching you.”
Alex half scoffed, half laughed. “You noticed who I hang out with in a class of about thirty people? Logic says you were watching me.”
My jaw tightened. “Or I noticed because you were the last one standing in the middle of the room, looking lost and stranded, without a group to go to.”
He paused, scoffing as if he couldn’t believe what I had just said. “I was not, asshole.”
“You were, but who knows? Maybe it was because you wanted to be in my group.”
“Why would I want to be in your group?”
“You tell me.” I shrugged.
Our glares held each other so hard I was afraid to let go, and for a moment, I forgot we were in public.
I wasn’t even sure what I was so worked up about—he had every right to be angry, and I knew that.
I was antagonizing him just for the hell of it, like close friends and siblings do to one another.
Maybe because even though it was through irritation, it was a way for us to talk again.
Alex diverted his eyes to the ground and stuffed his free hand into his pocket. “Not sure why I’d want to be in your group when I don’t even know you.”
His lips curled into a condescending smile, and all I wanted to do was kiss it right off his plump lips.
“Right, River?” his tone was unnaturally sweet.
My tongue glided along my teeth, the word struggling to come out of my mouth. “Right.”
It’s so hot.
The large, roaring orange and yellow flames surrounded me, leaving nowhere for me to escape. I couldn’t see past the blinding colors screaming in my face. It was unbearably hot, my clothes were drenched in sweat, and I felt like I was about to faint.
I screamed at the top of my lungs, but no sound came out.
No one would have been able to hear me anyway; the sound of the flames scorching my bedroom was too loud.
It was like they were yelling—no, taunting me.
The fire was laughing as it closed in on me, and there was nothing I could do but sit there and watch.
It was so close to my skin, and I could feel the heat intensifying, but it wasn’t burning me.
My skin was intact, and I wasn’t in pain, unless you count how I struggled to breathe.
I tried to stand on the bed to see if there was any way out, but my legs felt like lead.
Time was moving in slow motion, and I was gasping, choking, sputtering, inhaling—all of the above.
“River!”
The call of my name distracted me from the suffocation. Was the fire speaking to me? At first, it was just laughing, but now it wanted to berate me, too? I couldn’t catch a goddamn break.
But then it called my name again, less distorted this time. It was familiar, but knowing that wasn’t enough to get the words to escape my throat.
I didn’t need to speak to realize who was calling me.
I’d recognize Carson’s voice anywhere. His being close to me was comforting, but it also made me panic.
I didn’t want Carson to be trapped in this heat; I would not let him get hurt.
He was on the opposite side of the flame, so there was only one thing I could do. I had to go through it and get to him.
I took the deepest breath I could take and crawled to the edge of the bed until the fire was an inch away from my face. I needed to dive through it. Before I could second-guess myself, I lunged forward.
Expecting a brutal, fiery demise, I screamed. Guess how embarrassing it was when that demise never came, and instead, I was back in my living room.
Carson shook my shoulder lightly; his voice was calmer than it sounded in the dream. “Are you okay?”
As everything started making sense, I facepalmed with a heavy groan. It was just another nightmare. None of it was real.
Carson frowned the way he always did when we went through this. He was used to it. One would think that I would be used to it by now as well. Apparently not.
“Same nightmare?” he asked, making a space to sit next to me.
“Not exactly.” I tugged my sweaty shirt off my head and threw it on the floor. “This time it was surrounding me, and you were on the other side. I had to jump through it.”
“That’s fucking scary.”
I chuckled to myself, but it wasn’t because anything was funny. It was an exhausted, defeated laugh. “Tell me about it.”
He forced a dry chuckle. “Do you want to talk more about it?”
“Not this time. I just want to forget it.”
Carson didn’t push it. “Alright. Are you going to bed now?”
“I’m going to take a cold shower and then do the homework that I told Lola I was going to do because I’m not a dumb jock,” I joked tiredly.
Carson snorted. “She called you a dumb jock? She’s funny.”
“I wouldn’t laugh too hard. She thinks all athletes are dumb, so that includes you.”
He patted my shoulder, amused. “Well, as long as she doesn’t think I’m dumber than you.”
I punched him lightly on the shoulder as a much-needed genuine chuckle escaped. “Goodnight, douchebag.”
“Love you too, idiot.” Carson blew kisses at me as he walked backwards out of the room.
The nightmares happened at least once a week. Without fail, I would endure traumatizing, fire-related terror that left me sweaty and panting. When Carson was there to wake me up, it was bearable, but when he wasn’t, the nightmare would last for what felt like forever.
The only good thing about that nightmare was that it finally got my mind off of Alex for a while.