Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
ALEX
Iswung the door open. “You’re late.”
Annabelle stood in front of me, her hair a mess on her head, and her shoulders slumped from exhaustion. “Overtime.”
Taking a step back so she could come inside, I sighed. “And you couldn’t have texted me?”
“Sorry,” she muttered. “She’s asleep, so not that big a deal. Right?”
Not that big of a deal? Mills and I spent an hour working on her homework, in which I had to transform into a third-grade math teacher when I should have been working on my own assignments.
Yes, she fell asleep, but that wasn’t until after she showed me her dance routine twice and begged me to give her a dollar to go to the vending machine again.
My sister needed a babysitter, and I was more than willing to be that for her, but I didn’t think it was very fair not to give me a heads-up that she’d be two hours late.
I stayed silent as Annabelle picked up her sleeping child. Once Millie lay securely over her shoulder, she asked, “How was your day?”
I shrugged. “Fine.”
She gave me a blank stare. “Anything new happened?”
“Nothing you want to hear about.”
“You know what I’m asking,” Anna said, her tone authoritative. “Have you seen River?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” I grumbled, not appreciating her barging in and demanding to know what I‘d done over the past week.
I was nineteen years old, for fuck’s sake, and I had already had to deal with the controlling habits of my parents throughout high school, and even sometimes now. Throw my sister’s nosiness on top of that, and I was about ready to lose it.
“Calm down, I—”
“I am calm,” I interjected, keeping my tone as steady as possible.
Anna’s lips pressed into a straight line as she exhaled and adjusted Millie to lie on her other side. Sleeping Millie sighed, and thinking she was going to wake up, Annabelle rubbed small circles on her back, but her eyes stayed focused on me.
“I want to make sure you aren’t stressed out.” Her eyes search the top of my head. “Your hair seems to be intact, so maybe I’m over worrying.”
Often, I felt like another child to my sister rather than her brother.
Back in grade school, when River cut me off, she told me to forget about him.
When my ex first started being distant, she immediately jumped on the breakup train.
Hell, she’d been telling me to distance myself from our control freak parents for years, but I’d yet to do it.
Anna was wise, but she didn’t know everything.
That did not stop her from trying to guide me in every decision.
“I have a project with River,” I admitted as I sat on the couch before her.
“What would possess you to join his group?” Annabelle whisper-yelled. “I don’t understand you sometimes, Alex. Why would you willingly be around a guy who wants nothing to do with you?”
Aside from the fact that I was almost out of options after my friends replaced my spot in the group with one of their friends? Pure stupidity, I’d guess.
My head recoiled in offense. “If he really wants nothing to do with me, then why is he always looking? Why was he talking to me?”
“River is the same man who acts like he didn’t spend five out of the seven days of the week at our house years ago.”
I pulled my legs to my chest and squeezed, trying to ease the jolt of pain that realization just sent to my chest. It hurt more to hear someone else say it than to know it myself—he was actively showing me I was forgettable.
All of those memories that I cherished deeply meant nothing to him, and while I yearned for our connection back, he was the one keeping it away.
I tried to act unbothered at Lola’s dorm, showing River that two could play at that game. Not only did I play the game, but I got a reaction out of him, which I never thought I’d be able to do. It was a small reward for the bullshit he was putting me through.
There was a reckless part of me that wanted to test it. I wanted to test him. And ironically, it was a side of me that only ever came out when I was with him.
After a moment of reflection, Anna’s eyes softened. “I’m not trying to be a bitch, okay? I’m trying to save you from the disappointment, but also the strain it puts on you. You know your body doesn’t handle stress the way others do.”
An uneasy silence hung in the air. “Your body doesn’t handle stress the way others do.” As if I wasn’t aware and doing everything I could to prevent it. The irony was she didn't realize she was often part of the issue.
Noticing my discomfort, she gave a sympathetic frown. “You’ve been doing good, and I’ll be damned if I let you let anyone undo that. I don’t want to see that happen again if we can avoid it. I don’t want to be that scared again.”
A tension spread across the back of my neck. “I know.”
Anna parted her lips to speak, but paused when Millie stirred in her arms. No doubt struggling to continue to carry her, she picked up her bag and headed for the door.
“Be careful, Alex.”
“I’m good,” I insisted as I tugged on a strand of my hair. “Look, it’s all intact. No pulling it out.”
Her lips pursed, not fully convinced. “So you keep saying.”
You know what they say: if you say it aloud enough times, you’ll eventually believe it.
Three weeks later, biology had been getting increasingly worse. I had begun to think there was something wrong with me because the class average on the last test was seventy-five percent. Flip the number around and subtract fifteen, and there you have what I scored.
Eli and Javier were saints for trying to help me. It was the first step to getting the bio degree my parents prayed I’d achieve so that I could get into med school, but if med school was anything like this, I could kiss that degree goodbye.
Except I couldn’t, because Mom and Dad would never let me live that down. My sister was the underachiever in their eyes, so I had to be the one they could brag about. Nonnegotiable.
After what felt like the most unproductive tutoring session ever, I was ready to slip into the hot bath and relax for the rest of the night. Instead, I came home to find the apartment atrocious.
I was getting quite used to coming back to crumbs all over the couch and empty cans on the coffee table, but some things were simply too far.
What would entice someone to see a garbage can without a bag in it, and instead of putting one inside like any normal human, dump the leftover food into the can itself?
I picked up before getting changed to work on the project at Lola’s again. It had been three weeks since we last touched it together, but we’d still kept up on research on our own.
I was sweeping the floor when I felt a buzz in my pocket, and I sucked in a breath as I braced myself for whoever was calling.
If it were Annabelle, it could be her needing a last-minute babysitter for Millie.
My friend Rory could be calling, and if he was, it meant he needed something since that was the only time I ever heard from him.
If the screen read Mom or Dad, I was about to get an earful for going over a week without calling.
If it were River—no, it wouldn’t be River.
The winner was Rory.
I put the phone on speaker, tossed it on the couch, and continued sweeping. “Hey, Rory.”
Laughter sounded through the phone, one Rory’s and the other someone else’s. Then, his voice was close. “Alex, I need a favor.”
Shocker. “What is it?”
“Okay, so—” I heard shuffling, and then his voice went distant. “Dude, shush! I’m talking to Alex!” He came back to the speaker and chuckled his words out. “Andrew and I are stuck at the movies with no ride back to campus.”
Already knowing the question, I glanced at the clock. I was supposed to be at Lola’s for one, and it was thirty minutes till. “I have somewhere to be soon.”
“But we don’t have a ride back. How else will we get home?” Rory asked sharply.
“How did you get there?”
“Uber.”
“So, Uber back,” I drawled.
“Please, Alex? I already spent a fortune buying popcorn and candy, and I don’t want to pay for a ride back.”
“Alright,” I said after a beat. “I’m leaving now.”
The words were out before I could stop myself. Not even two weeks ago, they replaced me, and somehow I still agreed to being at their beck and call.
“Okay, text me when you’re here,” Rory said just before the call ended.
With traffic, it took me thirty minutes to make it to the local theater, where Rory and Andrew were.
They didn’t even have the decency to thank me for making the detour to pick them up, and honestly, it made me feel dumb for helping them at all.
There was something in me that compelled me to help others.
That voice always got me messed up as a kid.
I let them know in the group chat that I’d be a little late, but by the time I finally got there, it was way past little.
I called Lola to let her know I was outside the building, seeing as there was no way for me to get in since I didn’t live there.
When the phone went to voicemail twice, I had to stomach the thought of asking River to let me in instead.
Before I could press on her contact, the door swung open.
River’s arm pressed against the door, holding it open for me with the slightest smile. “You’re so late we didn’t think you’d show.”
My heart dropped at the sight of him. A few moments of awkward silence passed before I realized he was waiting for me to walk in.
Silently, I entered, and he let the door shut behind me. He spoke as we headed for the elevator. “Lola has found at least ten sources already, and since you took so long to get here, she’s been pestering me about searching quicker.”
I pushed the button to call for the elevator. “She’s really on top of their work.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, his tone monotone. “How much have you found?”
I stiffened when our arms brushed against each other. “I’ve found two promising articles, and I’ve read through them completely. There are a lot of good quotes and examples.”