26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Zach
Zach was running on anxiety- and excitement-fueled adrenaline right now. So as much as he loved Jen and was truly indebted to her—especially after all of her unconditional support this past week and then her pushing him to make this trip—he was really, really annoyed with her right now. All he wanted to do was finish packing so he could get on the road. Yet she was adamant that he needed to sign this service contract in person. She hadn’t even told him they’d found a new low-cost vaccination vendor. Then again, he’d been spending more time in the kennels than in the office this week.
God, he was antsy. He still needed to check his list again, though, so he tried to make himself focus on that instead while he waited for her to show up. He wasn’t entirely sure how many days to pack for because... fuck, what if he got there and Drew didn’t want to see him? Wouldn’t talk to him? Hell, what if he couldn’t find Drew to begin with? He only remembered one of the three names in the law firm Drew had mentioned. But what if that wasn’t even where Drew worked? What if he’d made that up? But he wouldn’t have. Would he?
Maybe he should wait, actually plan this trip out, do a little research first. For all Zach knew, Drew would be out of town for business again, and then how much would he have to spend on hotels? God, he would have to spend money on hotels anyway, right? He couldn’t just... Even if Drew wanted to see him, it didn’t mean... Zach couldn’t just presume to stay the night.
Shit. This was a terrible idea. Too risky. Zach wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, at least not with stuff that didn’t have a predictable outcome that he didn’t have to overthink or stress about.
But then his eyes landed back on the bright red swim trunks he’d bought with Drew at the clothing store outlet in the airport, and his mind flashed back to their time in the pool.
“Nuh-uh.” Drew’s lips found Zach’s earlobe and sucked gently, his hands still caressing Zach’s ass. Then came the ragged whisper in his ear. “I have a thing for you, Superman.”
Zach’s heart clenched, aching in a way that was either painful or wonderful, he wasn’t sure which. All he knew was that he might die if he never got to see Drew again, never found out why he’d left. And all the anxiety in the world wouldn’t stop him from trying to win Drew back.
He tried to take some deep breaths to center himself again, but it was no use. Now more than ever, he needed to just go . If Jen wasn’t here in five minutes, he was just going to leave.
The doorbell rang, and he sagged with relief. Though he was still slightly annoyed that Jen didn’t just walk right in—he’d left the door unlocked like usual. He jogged the short distance from his bedroom to the front door and started opening it. “Jen, you’re killing me, you know—”
His lungs stopped working, and he couldn’t move a muscle for what seemed like a full minute but was hopefully only seconds. Zach wasn’t sure he believed his eyes, but as his breathing kicked back in and an amazing warmth and tingling spread throughout his entire body all at once, he knew it had to be real .
Zach’s eyes darted from Drew’s head to his feet, back to his bright, gray-blue eyes, and then down to his dog. “You have a dog?” he blurted out, and fuck if that was the first thing he’d wanted to say to Drew when he saw him again, but Zach was not in control.
Drew nodded and then just sorta kept nodding slightly as though he couldn’t find his voice but needed to just keep telling Zach yes to all the things. Oh god, he hoped that were true.
Zach inhaled sharply, unable to stop staring into Drew’s eyes—eyes that just days ago he’d been certain he’d never see again. His throat was tight, and he knew but didn’t care that the tears were coming. “You’re here,” he whispered roughly.
Drew had stopped nodding, but he gave Zach another quick dip of his head in acknowledgement. “I’m here.”
Zach was still maddeningly frozen in place, as though his heart was afraid to let him make that first move, like he needed confirmation that Drew was here for him .
And Drew seemed to understand. Zach watched him take in a trembling breath before he stepped forward, closing the distance between them and then reaching up to cup Zach’s cheek. Zach closed his eyes, leaning into the warmth and solid reality of Drew’s hand, his heart jumping erratically with every breath.
When he reopened his eyes, he found Drew focusing on his face as though he was memorizing Zach all over again. Drew seemed to be lost in Zach’s eyes for a long moment, but then Drew’s gaze flitted down to Zach’s lips and back, as if asking permission, and this time, Zach was the one nodding.
Drew dipped down to capture his lips, almost achingly slow, and Zach found himself leaning into it, whimpering at the taste and feel of Drew’s lips caressing his own so tenderly, almost tentatively. Zach wanted them both to feel more sure, wanted Drew to know that he was all in, that he wanted everything Drew had to offer. So he snaked his hands up around the back of Drew’s neck, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. Drew moaned his approval, sending a jolt of desire down Zach’s spine.
God, it was exhilarating and amazing and so comfortable, instantly familiar again, like coming home. Zach didn’t want the kiss to ever end because he was sure he’d never get his fill, but then something bumped against his knee, making him lose his balance just slightly. Their mouths separated, both of them moaning lightly in protest and confusion until they looked down.
“Mi-lo,” Drew said, his voice low and husky.
It took Zach a second longer than it normally would have to process those two drawn-out syllables, but once he did, his heart leapt a bit more. “Milo?” he asked, looking at Drew. “You brought Milo?”
Drew nodded again, clearing his throat and reaching up to rub the back of his neck a bit anxiously. “Yeah. I, uh, I kinda adopted him. Took a leave of absence. And hopped in my car and drove to New Mexico.”
“Just like that? No plan?”
He shook his head. “Not really. Just ‘get to Zach,’ that was my plan, and I have no idea what I’m doing now, and to be honest, I’m a little bit terrified. A lot terrified. Not—not of you, not of u-us. It’s just that you’re one of six people in the world who know I’m... gay. And that includes Jen.”
In an instant, Zach gathered Drew back in his arms, hugging him fiercely and pressing a kiss into his neck, his fingers threading through Drew’s hair. “Oh, baby, I’ve got you.” Zach kissed his neck again and held him tighter as Drew’s body seemed to sag with relief. “Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay.”
He pulled back slightly, Drew’s arms still wrapped around him, and he brought his hands up to Drew’s face, trailing his fingertips over Drew’s scruffy beard and his cheeks and his forehead and his lips. And then he looked Drew straight in the eyes and said, “ I love you. I love you just the way you are. To me, you’re perfect. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And I’ll love you whether you’re in the closet or out. I just want to be with you, Drew.”
Drew’s eyes were searching his, almost as if he wasn’t sure he could believe Zach’s words were true. Then Drew took a shuddering breath in and let it out, and Zach wiped away the tears that had slipped from Drew’s eyes, first from one cheek and then the other.
Despite his declaration of love hanging yet unanswered in the impossibly small space between them, Zach felt surprisingly little anxiety as he waited. Here, in Drew’s arms, after Drew had driven half the day without a plan, just to get to him, Zach felt only certainty—that feeling that he was right where he was meant to be.
And then Milo nudged at them again and offered a long, low howl. Zach chuckled lightly, and Drew gave him a shaky smile. Zach brushed a quick but gentle kiss on Drew’s lips before squatting down to talk to Milo. “You, sir, have the worst timing!”
Milo tried to respond with a lick, his large wet tongue lapping at the air as Zach dodged it but lost his balance, falling back onto his butt. He could feel his cheeks flush with embarrassment, but then the sound of Drew’s laughter kinda made it all worth it. Milo, for his part, was sniffing curiously, probably wondering why Zach was on the ground, and Zach ended up with a cold, wet nose in his ear.
“Are you just gonna laugh at me? Or are you gonna be my hero and rescue me?” Zach complained playfully. He half wondered where all this confidence had come from, though he didn’t dwell on the thought long when Drew chuckled again and reached out his hand for Zach to grab. Drew pulled him up with one smooth movement that brought their faces only inches apart.
“Are you okay?” Drew asked, a hint of teasing in his voice even though Zach could still see the anxiousness and guilt in his eyes .
“I suppose I’ll survive,” Zach answered softly with a smile. “You might have to take care of me, though.”
Zach could swear he heard Drew’s breath hitch, and for a moment, he worried that he’d said too much, loaded every word with too much emotion and meaning, especially after declaring his love so boldly. But then Drew brought a hand up to his waist, Drew’s fingers pressing gently into him as Drew leaned in just a little closer.
“I’m sorry,” Drew said, his voice breaking slightly.
“I know,” Zach whispered, raising one hand to rest on Drew’s chest over his heart. “We should probably go inside and talk, yeah?”
Drew nodded, and then Zach followed his gaze as he looked down. He must have dropped Milo’s leash at some point, because Milo was nowhere to be seen. But before they could even panic, there was another long, low howl—this time coming from behind Zach. They both looked over into the house and saw that Milo had helped himself to a generous section of the couch. The large hound chuffed and laid his head down, obviously comfortable with his new accommodations.
Zach turned back to Drew and let his forehead fall to Drew’s chest as they both laughed lightly.
Drew’s chest rumbled when he spoke. “Sure, Milo, just make yourself right at home!”
Zach kept chuckling, but Drew stopped, and it took Zach a second to realize why. Zach looked up and found Drew’s eyes. “He can, you know? And you—you too, can make yourself at home. You have your bag?” He let his gaze wander in the direction of Drew’s car.
“Yeah. I, uh, I didn’t want to assume anything...”
“Assume! You should assume! Shit, I mean, please stay?” Zach’s breath hitched, and his pulse was racing from the awkwardness, and even though the silence had only been there for a second, it was too long, so he kept talking. “Unless you meant, um, that you got a hotel or something or were planning on it. There aren’t really too many great ones here on the northwest side of town, but the drive isn’t long, especially if there’s no traffic, and—”
“Zach,” Drew cut in softly. At some point, he’d taken Zach’s hand and was now giving it a squeeze. “I was hoping I could stay.” His voice was rough and full of emotion, hesitant too, even after all of Zach’s rambling. Or maybe because of it.
“Please stay?” Zach’s words came out far more desperate and vulnerable sounding than he would have liked. He was beyond grateful, though, that at least there was still this buoyant, joyful feeling, kind of bobbing and weaving in and around the awkwardness and anxiety.
Drew nodded, his brow furrowing with some kind of emotion, and then his gaze dipped to Zach’s lips and back, hopeful but still full of uncertainty, as if he couldn’t quite believe Zach could forgive him, let him in again.
Zach slipped a hand behind Drew’s neck and slowly pulled him in for a tender kiss. As their lips met and caressed and teased, Drew’s hands found their way to the small of Zach’s back, his fingers pressing into him and bringing them closer, their hips now flush with one another. Zach’s body fit perfectly there up against Drew’s, and some combination of arousal and belonging and the warmth and solidness of his frame made Zach feel so safe. And so loved.
When Zach pulled back slightly, he rested his forehead against Drew’s and just kind of swayed gently, enjoying the feel of being in Drew’s arms again. Then he felt a vibration against his thigh, then another. And then three more.
“Do you, um, need to get that?” Zach asked, quirking a smile but keeping their foreheads together .
“Oh! Um, yeah, I-I probably should,” Drew said, giving Zach an apologetic look as he dropped his hands from Zach’s back.
An adorable blush crept over Drew’s face as he reached into his pocket to grab his phone. “My, um, my pocket friends are eagerly awaiting an update.”
Zach was amused but admittedly had no idea what Drew was talking about. He laughed a little self-consciously. “Pocket friends? Update?”
“Um, my Discord friends? On that, uh, Superman server I told you about?” Drew ducked his head. “They’ve been sort of cheering me on? And now they’re probably dying to know what you’ve said.” Drew bit his lip nervously. “And god, sorry, I just realized how that sounded and I promise I didn’t, like, go into detail! But they’re my friends, really good friends. Maybe not as good as Jen is to you, but they’re—”
He paused to swallow back some sort of emotion. “I didn’t realize until recently how good of friends they are and how much they’ve got my back. I just—I just came out to them Friday night. So—so I guess that’s... fifteen people who know. Not just six. And god, that’s a lot and so fast. But it’s good. It’s good. I might need to sit though.”
Zach’s heart was bursting with admiration and pride and love and everything good in this world, and he couldn’t help but pull Drew back in for a hug and whisper in his ear. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”