Chapter 28 #3
“The way he started checking in on Tyler more after Tyler told the guys about his anxiety before the season started,” Sophie adds, and this is news to me.
I know Tyler suffers from anxiety and that he came clean about it over the summer.
I didn’t know Drew helped him through it, although I realize now I should have. It’s right on brand for my guy.
My guy, I think.
Saying that feels exactly right.
“He did,” Maddy confirms. “He cares for the people he loves, and it’s such a natural part of him I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it.
You do too, Cait.” Maddy looks at me, eyes soft.
“He’s your perfect match because you’ll care for each other.
He’ll understand when you need to let go, and you’ll do the same for him.
I think that’s something you both need. Ugh, sorry,” she mutters.
“I didn’t mean to shrink you or whatever. I’m putting my friend hat back on now.”
“It’s okay,” I say with a laugh. “You’re not wrong.
I’m not the best at letting go and letting people do things for me when I can do them for myself.
Even the people I love.” I glance around the island and see nothing but love and support from the women sitting there.
“I don’t know why I’m like this, but I always have been.
It’s the way of me. But he doesn’t let me get away with that.
He barges in and makes me sit down and takes care of everything and it’s…
” I trail off, searching for a word. “Nice,” I finally say. “He sees me, and I needed that.”
I see him too, I think quietly. The scared little boy who became the lonely man with a cracked heart, bandaging over his hurts with giant smiles and the biggest laughs, sarcasm and humor and sunshine no one realizes is tinged with clouds.
But I realize. I see. There’s a kind of magic there, in being the ones who make each other whole.
“We didn’t see you,” Sarah says slowly, eyes troubled.
“I didn’t see you. We’ve been friends and family all our lives, but I didn’t realize you were struggling.
You needed us, and we weren’t there. We should have seen.
” All at once, her voice is steel. “We should have realized. You didn’t have to do this alone, Cait.
I’m a doctor. Well…almost a doctor.” She pauses, trying again, and I work hard to smother a smile.
“In a few years I’ll be a doctor. I could have helped you with the medical stuff.
You didn’t have to do this alone.” She reaches across and takes my hand again.
“You don’t have to do this alone. When’s your surgical follow up?
I’ll go with you and translate all the medical shit. ”
Smiling, I squeeze her hand. “It’s in a couple weeks.
After Halloween, but I don’t need you to come.
Seriously. The doctor won’t tell me anything different than she did right after surgery when she said they suspected endo but had to wait for the pathology, and I’ve known what it was for years, but no one listened to me.
It’s bullshit that I had to spend time and thousands of dollars to confirm what I already know, but that’s women’s healthcare,” I say with a shrug.
“You didn’t know because I didn’t want you to know.
Any of you.” I look around the island at my friends.
“I thought I could handle it myself. I was handling it myself,” I correct.
“You know that’s over now, right?” Sophie says. “Now that we know, we’ll be butting into your life and forcing ourselves on you and your period pain.”
“No one in this family does anything alone.” Emmy’s eyes are fierce when she turns them on me. “Ever, Cait. Talk to us, okay? Just like you did now. Tell us everything so we can help you. That’s what we’re here for.”
“Sisters,” Sarah says again.
“And also, a meddling grandmother, parents and a brother of your own, and a whole host of aunts and uncles who would give you the world if you asked them to.” Maddy turns her gaze on me, and I hear what she’s saying without her having to say it.
“I haven’t told them yet,” I confirm. “Any of them. I’ve never told anyone except Drew. And now you. I will though,” I say quickly. “I promise.”
As soon as I figure out how.
The doorbell rings then, and Maya jumps out of her seat. “Tacos!”
The next five minutes are a flurry of refilling drinks and unwrapping takeout and then we’re all back around the island, plates of food in front of us, when Maddy gives me a sly grin. “So, we’re totally talking about the sex right? Because, like, there is no way that man isn’t incredible in bed.”
“It’s the hot, cheerful, edged in occasional broodiness thing,” Sophie says, taking a giant bite of a chicken taco. “You just know there’s all kinds of explosiveness hidden under that surface.”
“I’ll say,” I mutter, feeling my face heat as my brain serves up images of exactly what happens when what’s under that surface is unleashed.
“Details,” Emmy orders, pointing a taco at me. “You’re having amazing sex. It’s all over your face, and we’ll be needing every detail. Please don’t make me beg.”
And maybe it’s the warmth of Maddy’s kitchen or the way it feels to sit here surrounded by all my favorite people in the world or the relief of long-held secrets finally in the open, but I set down my taco, and with a grin, I tell my favorite people everything.