Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
DREW
“Fuck, I missed you,” I mumble, wrapping my arms around Caitlin right in the doorway to her office and bending to kiss her.
Aware this is where she works, I mean for the kiss to be short and sweet, I swear I do.
But the second my lips touch hers, every other thought in my head disappears and I lose myself a little.
My need for her is a living, breathing thing.
In the month since her surgery, Caitlin has spent almost every night at my house.
It took her almost two weeks to get back to herself, and the fact that she let me take care of her during that time is something I don’t take for granted.
I think I did it well. At least, I hope I did.
For most of the last month, aside from when I was traveling for games, I’ve gotten to kiss her good night and sleep with my body wrapped around hers and see her face as soon as I open my eyes.
I’ve been able to lay down at night without the terror of what might come for me in the dark and actually sleep for real without any of the bad memories that have always visited me in my dreams.
I think maybe it’s been the best month of my life.
Caitlin’s doctor-ordered no sex rule has kept the physical stuff between us to a minimum.
For the first couple weeks she was in recovery mode, and all I wanted to do was find ways to take her pain away and help her feel like herself again.
But now that she’s recovered and pain free, our need for each other is fierce and wild, and once we can be together like that again, I think we’re going to level the damn building.
Snaking an arm around her waist and sliding a hand up to wrap around the back of her neck, I slant our mouths together, tongue sweeping in.
And in this moment, with my body pressed to hers, everything inside me settles, all my jagged edges smoothing out, my missing pieces slotting together, rearranging, until I’m the most me I’ve ever been.
I’m not the boy with the dead mom and the asshole dad.
The football player afraid to leave the game that gave him a life.
The man afraid to get too close for fear of being left all over again.
I’m just me, standing with the girl I love, feeling like I could stay here like this for the rest of forever.
Caitlin tastes like heaven and sweetness and mine, and I tug her tighter against me, feeling the urge to get as close as possible.
It occurs to me that feeling like I haven’t seen her in a century when it’s actually been less than two days is not rational behavior, but fuck rationality.
Because Caitlin moans into my mouth and shifts her body closer like there is no close that would be close enough for her either.
She fists her hands in my shirt and presses up on her tiptoes to plaster herself against me, and I never, ever want to stop kissing her.
“Now that’s a fucking kiss!”
The voice coming from right behind us yanks me back to earth, and Caitlin and I jump away from each other like teenagers getting caught making out behind the bleachers. We both whip around and look right into Molly’s grinning face.
“Molly,” Caitlin practically yelps, a pretty pink blush staining her cheeks. “We were…that was…hell,” she mutters, and a slightly disheveled, bewildered Caitlin is the cutest fucking Caitlin on earth.
“Oh, I know exactly what that was,” she says, voice full of humor. “It’s about time you kissed a boy in this office, Cait. Fuck knows everyone else has.”
“I definitely have.” Hallie appears next to Molly, matching grin on her face.
“Oh holy shit.” Caitlin groans, turning to Hallie. “No talking about kissing. It’s weird, Mom.”
Hallie shrugs, unbothered. “It’s only weird if you’re not doing it right.”
Molly elbows Hallie, and her grin turns to a smirk. “They were definitely doing it right.”
“Just kill me now,” Caitlin says, casting her eyes to the ceiling.
I laugh, enjoying the hell out of these women.
Their obvious affection for each other. Snaking an arm around Caitlin’s waist, I press a kiss to her hair, and if I inhale, trying to catch the scent of her shampoo, that’s no one’s business but my own.
“They’re not wrong, Princess. We definitely did it right. ”
With a laugh, Hallie turns to me. “Happy to see you here, Drew.”
Caitlin’s mom infuses those six words with warmth.
Like it’s not something she’s saying out of politeness or habit, but something she really means.
And the way she looks between Caitlin and me with a secret sort of smile makes me think she’s not just happy to see me, but happy to see me here, with Caitlin.
And that has an odd sort of emotion swirling into me because I’ve always thought I would never be good enough for anyone. That I couldn’t be.
But then I met a girl who saw me, scars and broken pieces and all, and she decided to stay and made me want to stay too. With her. With this family. When Caitlin slides her arm around my waist and squeezes, like she knows exactly where my mind went, it feels a little bit like a dream.
“So what are you doing here?” Molly asks, looking between Caitlin and me with an unholy gleam in her eye, and I can see exactly where Sophie gets her chaos from.
Grinning, I tug Caitlin a little closer. “I was hoping to steal Caitlin away a little early for some Halloween fun.”
“I’ve got a few things to finish up first.” Caitlin glances up at me, and I can see her hesitation to leave the office early, not because she doesn’t want to, but because she feels like she shouldn’t. Like setting aside her work for the day means she’ll be letting her people down.
“No, you don’t.” When Hallie and Molly say the words together, I know for sure I’m not the only one who has Caitlin’s back.
“There is literally nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.
” Hallie slips past us into Caitlin’s office, grabbing Caitlin’s bag and jacket off the couch against the far wall and pressing them into her hands then leaning in and kissing her cheek.
“Go, Cait. Have Halloween fun and don’t you dare even think about setting foot in this office until at least nine tomorrow morning.
If you come earlier than that I’ll know, and I’ll have Jules put you on doc review for the Thomas litigation for the next three weeks. ”
Caitlin rolls her eyes. “You know I’m twenty-seven years old, right? You can’t tell me what to do.”
Hallie shrugs, unbothered. “Seven or twenty-seven, I’m still your mom and lucky for you, I’m also your boss, and I’m ordering you to get the hell out of this office.”
Molly cackles. “Hal, you’re so sexy when you’re all authoritative.”
“No,” Caitlin says sharply, pointing at Hallie.
“What?” Hallie asks, all innocence.
Caitlin rolls her eyes, and her exasperation is sexy as fuck.
“You were about to say something about how Dad also thinks you’re sexy when you’re all authoritative and then I would have had to throw up a little in my mouth and bleach my brain and I’d really rather not do either of those things, so if I promise to leave now and do whatever ridiculous Halloween shit Drew has planned, can you promise to stop being gross? ”
Hallie grins like this was her plan all along. “Deal.”
“Thank god,” Caitlin mutters, walking straight out the door without another word or a backwards glance like she’s confident I’ll follow her—and she should be. I would follow her anywhere.
Turning to Hallie, I give her a smile. “Thanks for the assist.”
Hallie’s smile turns soft, and when she steps in and wraps me in a hug, I’m so shocked it takes me a second to catch up, but once I do, my entire body relaxes before another wave of emotion hits me because it’s been almost three decades since I’ve been hugged by a mom and my brain doesn’t know how to process it.
Hallie isn’t my mom, but from the second Cam and I started hanging around with Tyler and this whole chaotic bunch, Hallie and her friends have accepted us as their own.
And even though I didn’t trust it—still don’t entirely—for the boy who was never accepted by the one person who was supposed to love him, being embraced by all these people is no small thing.
Especially because these people belong to the one person who is more important to me than any person on earth.
“You’re good for her,” Hallie says quietly, easing back but taking my hands in hers and squeezing.
My jaw works as I try to find my voice. “I want to be,” I manage. “I really want to be.”
“There’s no want about it. You already are. I can see it all over her. And she’s good for you. I can see that too.”
“She’s…” I trail off, not sure exactly what to say.
“Everything,” I finally finish. “She’s everything.
” I feel like I should say more, but the words won’t come.
But when Hallie’s smile widens, her hands squeezing mine again, I know it’s enough.
That for the first time in as long as I can remember, it feels like I’m enough, and that’s everything too.