13. Claire
13
CLAIRE
I reread the email at least a hundred times, stunned speechless.
“—aire. Claire, what’s wrong?”
My eyes don’t leave the screen for more than a fraction of a second, taking in Lily’s worried expression. She must have tried to call me a few times.
“I…” I can feel my lower lip tremble. “I don’t…understand. I’ve been expelled. Kicked out of school before it even started.”
“ What ?” Lily screeches.
She reaches for my phone and I let her take it, hoping against all hope she’ll tell me the email’s fake, that I didn’t understand it correctly.
“Oh god. Section seven, paragraph twelve, what is that, even? Fuck . Let me check.”
She switches to her own device and scrolls through it, eyebrows scrunched up in concentration.
“The section is ‘Tarnishing the reputation of the school.’ Shit, Claire. God, let me get to twelve…student privacy on private premises. Oh, no.” She looks up at me, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry. Oh, Claire.”
So that’s it. It was real. And it was…about something I’d done.
“I suppose you tried to warn me,” I hear myself whisper.
She and Cross both warned me, in different ways, to mind my business. But I didn’t. I did what I thought was right. I don’t know if I got that letter because of filming Keller, or my chat with the cop. Maybe both. I thought my reprehensible actions of last night were limited to what happened with Keller, but as far as the school is concerned, the line was making any of their precious rich students look bad.
I swallow.
I did this. And worse yet, I didn’t, at any point, believe I was doing anything wrong—anything that deserves this. I still don’t.
How even have they heard about it? Keller must have told them. I guess the term snitch is reserved for me, not the likes of him.
“I’ll call Keller. Ask if he can help.”
A dry chuckle works its way up my throat. “Right. The same guy who told them in the first place.”
“I sincerely doubt that, Claire. I mean, you talked to the cops. In all likelihood, they made a report. What happened to Charlotte at the Shark House had minor media attention.”
“Don’t you think it’s about the video I took?”
“No.” She’s strict. “For that, Cross would have made you pay, directly. Or me,” she rewords. “Tattling to his daddy isn’t his style. But the cops—shit. I should have seen this. Stopped you from saying anything at all.”
In what world does a university expel a student for telling the truth to the police? Well, a heavily edited version of the truth, but still. I even made sure no one could be directly reprimanded, insisting I helped myself to their booze.
It occurs to me that defense likely wouldn’t fly with everyone.
God, I am expelled. The reality of it hasn’t hit yet. I had other offers, but none as good as Rothford’s, and the enrollment period is over for any other school. Besides, I can’t afford to pack up and fly—well, anywhere.
All of a sudden, I’m bent in two, crying so hard I can’t even see straight, loud, dreadful sobs coming out of me, uncontrolled.
“Oh, Claire. Please, don’t cry. We’ll…” She hesitates, because what can we do?
It’s done. I’m expelled.
I cry harder.
“I’m going to make Cross help, okay?” She sounds desperate, the words coming out in a rush. “His family’s part of the board. And you can appeal to Keller too. His uncle’s the most powerful man in town. It’ll be okay. In this town, it’s all about who you know, and you already know people. I promise, we’ll make it okay.”
I nod over the tears, trying to speak.
A few minutes ago, my entire plan was not to speak to Keller. Break up with Noah, because what happened last night shows we shouldn’t be together in the first place—I feel nothing like that for him—but avoid Keller, because he’s playing in a whole different field than me. We’re not even playing the same ball game, and he’s pro, I’m kiddie league. I can’t handle him. But this is another story. I will pray and beg and prostrate myself in front of anyone I can to keep this from happening. This is my entire future.
“That’s it, Claire, just breathe. We’ll manage. I can vouch for you—I was there the whole time. We’ll make sure this doesn’t stick.” She talks slowly, softly, like she would to a wounded animal.
I don’t know why, but it works. Slowly, I manage to breathe normally, and even stop the tears.
“Okay. Okay, yes, we can—I can.”
God, I don’t have Keller’s number. Yesterday, he wanted a kiss for mine. Today, I’d do just about anything for his.
“Do you know Keller’s number?”
“No, but Cross probably does. I’m going to call him, okay?” she asks gently.
I feel myself nod.
“It’s all going to work out,” Lily assures me before standing and stepping out, phone in hand.
I watch her walk away, still a little numb.
All of a sudden, there’s a large pink and white sundae in front of me. A pretty blonde smiles at me awkwardly. “On the house. You look like you need it.”
I glance at her name tag. “Thank you, Penelope.”
“Don’t sweat it. I’ve had more than my fair share of days crying into my pancakes. It’s a rough town.”
Except it isn’t. I’ve been in Thorn Falls for less than a week, and everything seems to be quiet, peaceful, beautiful, well maintained…but I see what she means now.
It’s a rough town for people like me; like us. Working class who can’t just snap their fingers and get what they want. There are rules here, and flouting them reaps a swift punishment.
I didn’t really believe Lily was serious when she warned me yesterday or this morning. I know better this afternoon. Let’s just hope it’s not too late to fix it. I can’t afford to ruin my future over my pride, or my notions of right and wrong. They don’t matter here.
I make myself eat my sundae, mostly for something to do, and halfway through, I finally notice it’s delicious.
Lily comes back, her lips tight, and entire body tense, and my heart drops.
It didn’t go well.
“I take it there’s nothing Cross could do.”
“What?” She looks up at me, frowning. “No, no. You have a meeting with the board at six.”
My eyes widen. “I do?”
I thought it would take days, hours, tons of unanswered letters full of apologies and some begging to get a meeting.
“Yeah. We don’t have much time to get you ready for it.”
From the way she looks at me, she seems to think that a few hours is not nearly enough time, but she doesn’t understand the change I’ve undergone in mere instants.
Yes, I was pretty sure of myself, rejecting her idea of what should be done yesterday after the video, and even today, when she told me how things were here.
This email changed everything. There’s nothing I won’t do to set things right.