14. Claire
14
CLAIRE
L ily spends the next three hours teaching me to act like an ant might when faced with a boot.
Yes, sir. Of course, sir. Ever so sorry, sir.
I can do this. I will happily do this to ensure I haven’t ruined my entire life.
After she’s certain I am aware the only response to anything the board might say is to agree with them, she focuses on my appearance, insisting I remove her skirt—she leaves it in my wardrobe—and picks one of my most conservative outfits.
My expulsion is suspended pending my meeting with the board tonight, so I can still say my wardrobe.
So much depends on tonight. I don’t think I’ve been this stressed before, even during my various virtual interviews with colleges last year. Back then, I was fairly certain I would get one offer; it was only a matter of picking the best one. Today, I have but one option: trying to convince those guys why they wanted me here in the first place.
I’m dressed in a full length, dark green skirt and a blouse with a big satin ribbon, rather like the evil stepmom in a Disney movie. My grandma would love it. I wouldn’t have paired the two together myself as both are extremely over-the-top prudish, but if I’m supposed to meet some old board member, I suppose Lily has a point.
The administrative building is across the street, just a ten-minute walk away from the dorm’s main doors, so once Lily’s done with me, I head over there, trying to appear prostrate, submissive, defeated.
Ugh, someone kill me.
I still feel like shit on top of anything else. I am sick to my stomach for a variety of reasons. The pancakes I ate before getting that email are threatening to come back up my throat. If the situation I’m in wasn’t enough, my hangover makes it a million times more miserable.
“The director will see you now, Ms. Fairmont,” the beautiful secretary tells me after a few minutes of waiting that I believe were mostly designed to spike my anxiety.
It worked.
I’m led to a large room, meant for at least twenty people, and there are just two of us. Me,
feeling about the size of pea, and this giant across the room. And him.
He’s…pretty. The kind of pretty not really supposed to exist, especially in an older man. Hollywood beauty, except if there’s anything unreal, I can’t spot it. Sharp cheekbones, stunning bright eyes, perfect hair, the body of a Greek god, but with the dignified grace of someone in their thirties.
“Ms. Fairmont.”
Oh, great. Even his voice is hot. A rough, dark, slow, low grunt.
“Yes, sir.” Lily would approve. “That’s me.”
Please, for the love of God, please stop me from rambling.
I know that’s my default mode when I’m stressed out.
“Indeed. Take a seat.”
I do as I’m told without a word. He remains standing.
“Claire, is it? Do you mind if I call you Claire?”
“Of course, sir,” I happily parrot.
“I’m sure there are many other things we’d both rather be doing on a fine Sunday evening, Claire.”
I nod.
“So let’s get this over with in as fast as possible, yes?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You won’t mind if I speak plainly. This university was built and founded for one purpose: educating the children of certain families. Nowadays, when a school achieves this level of excellence, many young students, such as you, aspire to be accepted there. So we opened it up. It is the modern way. But, Claire, don’t mistake what that means. Rothford remains ours .”
He takes a few steps, crossing the length of the long table until he’s only a few feet away from me.
“Some of the students here are rather stupid, actually. But their fathers, and their fathers’ fathers, spent money and time to ensure they could still have a place to improve upon their former level of stupidity, turning them into something more or less useful to society. Do you understand?”
Again, I nod, because I really do. Isn’t it the way everywhere? People don’t truly need to be super-smart to get into an Ivy League either; not if they have the right surname, the right amount of money. I know this. I hate it, but I know it all the same.
“You’re no one’s daughter.”
The accusation is a blow straight to the chest, but it’s still right. More right than he knows, in all likelihood. My mother might have chosen to give birth to me, despite her pregnancy happening when she was sixteen, but she played no part, and has never had an interest in raising me. My father has never been in the picture. But even if they’d both “done the right thing”—as was seen at the time, though how can it be right for two kids to try to raise a baby neither of them wants, I’ll never understand—they would still very much be nobodies. In this town. In the world.
“And when no one’s daughter chooses to become problematic, we don’t tend to have much patience for it,” the man concludes.
I bite my lower lip, desperately preventing myself from telling him all the reasons why he should find time, have the patience.
“That said, people who are of consequence to the board have intervened, so here we both are. On a Sunday evening.”
He makes it plain he would rather be anywhere else, and he resents me for dragging him into his office.
I lower my eyes.
“Do you understand what you’ve done?”
I swallow. “I talked to the cop. I was…tipsy.” Thank god for Lily coaching me on that specific question. “I’ve never drunk much alcohol, so it went straight to my head. Even then, it was obvious to me they were trying to incriminate people—get me to say someone gave me something. I lied. I said I took the drinks myself. I told the officer I stole it. But Lily and Keller have made it clear I shouldn’t have said anything. I am sorry. So sorry. Please, sir. I'll do anything,” I assure him, meaning each word.
"Would you indeed?” The man marks a pause, those eyes fixed on mine. “Well, the board has made its decision to protect the privacy of the student body based on your actions.”
My stomach drops.
“But everyone makes mistakes. If you can prove to the student council that this was indeed a mistake, the board can reconsider. Note that several students on the council were directly affected by your actions, and it will take some convincing to rectify this. I will inform them that you'll discuss it at length with them tonight at ten, in the Vesper Tower. The council will email back their assessment and you will have our final decision Monday.”
That’s it? All I have to do is plead my case to some students, and I’ll know tomorrow?
But even as those words cross my mind, I rebuke them. No, it won’t be that simple. They’ll want me to pay for it. That’s the way in Thorn Falls. Lily had to kiss Cross to get that fake picture erased. Keller convinced me to kiss him by dangling something I couldn’t resist either.
They will make me pay for my right to remain here.
This man is just allowing them to do so.
But I told the truth. There’s nothing I won’t do to avoid being expelled from the best college in the state, on this coast, maybe in the country. Especially since I can’t afford to go anywhere else.
Whatever the council wants to do with me, I’ll have to submit to their will.