25
Buzz
"It sucks that we never get to spend the holidays together,"
I say as I walk Court to his car, totally not pouting or sounding like a whining kid at all.
Growing up, our families were so close we'd always spend some of the holidays together. That used to be my favorite part…after scoring presents from Santa, naturally.
But ever since the thing happened, the holidays feel fractured and awkward. Howie and I shuttle between our parents with their new families and step-kids who we're sort of, but not really, close to, and Court always spends it with his dad, Joan, and his step-siblings he's sort of, but not really, close to, either.
It's meant to be such a joyous time of year, all about family and people coming together, but it doesn't feel like that anymore.
Not for me, anyway.
Court lifts his suitcase and drops it into the trunk with a dull thud. He looks effortlessly polished as always. A forest-green merino wool sweater under a sharp but casual blazer-style coat, tan corduroy pants, and dark-brown bean boots.
"You okay, Buzz?"
No. I'm not okay. I hate goodbyes, and even though he'll be back in a few days, him leaving is bothering me more than it should.
"Yes. No. I don't know."
I groan under my breath, exasperated, before totally not pouting or sounding like a whining kid again.
"I thought by living together we'd hang out more. But I've been working so much, and I really regret that. You're not going to be around forever."
"Hey, hey. Don't be upset."
He comes over and braces me by my arms.
"Your schedule will ease up in the new year, right? And I can work as much or as little as I want at the inn. I know. Let's make a pre-New Year's resolution to spend more time together. Just the two of us."
I nod and walk into his warm body, hating feeling like a needy baby but totally soothed by his words all the same.
"Thank you. I needed that."
"Of course. I'll be back soon, and we will be hanging out so much you'll get sick of me."
I pull back and manage a grin.
"That's impossible."
"Correct answer."
Court grins back.
"I'll text you when I get to Dad's, okay?"
I reach for him again, needing just one more hug.
"Make sure you do. And drive safely, okay? Speed limits are there for a reason."
He chuckles, and I can feel the vibration all the way down to my toes.
Man, I really am a needy fucker.