26
Courtland
"This is fun,"
Buzz says, sounding genuinely chipper, gliding the roller up and down the wall with a soft, rhythmic hiss.
"Is it?"
I reply, shooting him a skeptical look. I mean, any chance to see Buzz in overalls—no T-shirt, full muscle flex on display—is a good thing, but painting rooms at the inn.
"This wasn't exactly what I pictured when I said we'd spend more time together in the new year."
He laughs, dunking the roller into the tray to load up some more slate-blue paint.
"Nice to see you're starting the new year as uptight as ever."
I stop mid-stroke with the roller still pressed to the wall.
"Am I really that uptight?"
"Of course you are. It's one of the many things I love about you."
The words settle over my heart like a warm blanket.
I love him, too.
So much.
The five days we spent apart over the holidays seemed to stretch for longer than my six months in Africa.
No matter what I did to keep busy—going shopping with Joan and the kids, helping out in the kitchen, going for hikes with Dad—one person, and one person only, dominated my thoughts.
But does that mean I know what I'm going to do?
Absolutely not.
Scooter has been on my case to make a move, reminding me that time is ticking, like there's some biological clock at play here.
There isn't for me. But Buzz did say he wants kids.
Is that just another roadblock, another area where we're incompatible?
I'm not against the idea of starting a family, I just haven't given it much thought since it's never been a viable option for me. I've never had anything more serious than a couple of FWB situations. Not exactly a solid foundation for becoming a parent.
"When does Howie move into his new place?" I ask.
"Next week. He's really excited. I think it's the perfect house for him. He needs a project."
He bought a crumbling old property on the outskirts of town, one that needs plenty of time and money to fix up. Luckily, dude has both in spades.
"It's a project, all right," I agree.
"Does he need a hand moving?"
"He's getting most of his stuff shipped in directly to the house, but I was going to be there with him and help anyway. Moving solo is never fun."
"Mind if I tag along? I'll ask Lola if she can make some food."
Buzz smiles.
"That'd be great. Man, I am loving this year so far. My brother is back in town and not living with me, and you're back in town and are living with me. What did I do to get so lucky?"
And he didn't mention Zane. How did I get so lucky?
But nope. That's the wrong attitude. One I am determined to leave behind.
Buzz is free to be friends with whoever he wants.
Clovelly may be a small town, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be running into Zane all the time.
I've been back for two weeks and haven't seen the guy once.
Buzz mentioned he's been traveling a lot, attending funerals all over the county.
Who knows? Maybe he'll follow the work and end up moving to a larger town, and then he'll be out of our lives for good.
I'm not going to waste any more time thinking about him.
I have five months left where, for the first time in my adult life, I don't have the demands of a high-pressure medical career bearing down on me, and Buzz's hours have reduced since the new recruits came on board.
I want to spend as much time as I can with him…even if it is painting walls at the inn.