CHAPTER 10 Charlie
CHAPTER 10
Charlie
A fter some more skiing in the afternoon, we clean up, have dinner, and then head to the main room of the lodge that services all the cabins. It’s full of rustic wooden furniture, thick leather sofas, and rugs with colorful patterns. A large fire roars in the fireplace, and the room smells of a combination of dust and pine—both fresh and well-used.
I’m sipping my third whiskey and, frankly, wishing Rowan would show up. But that’s not going to happen, especially since he doesn’t have a car. I’m tempted to leave and pick him up from his shitty apartment. I know I’m being judgy, but Rowan deserves better.
Except I shouldn’t drive, with how tired I am and how tipsy I’m getting, so I stay to the side as usual. I’m just … numb. Empty. I prop my head on my fist, elbow on my knee, and feel apathetic about life. I swallow down the whiskey, the burn warming my cheeks more than the fire and the heated room.
Reyna excuses herself from the date she brought with her and joins me on the plaid couch, a glass of white wine in hand. “So, what happened to your chin?”
“Everyone keeps asking me that. Cut myself shaving. ”
She gives me that little sister accusatory stare. “Cam said you had a sex accident.”
I throw up my hands. “Then why did you ask? And no, it wasn’t a sex accident. Sheesh.” I glare at her.
She grins at me. “Okay, let’s start over. How’s it going, big brother? Have fun skiing?”
Be a human, Charlie . “Yeah, it was gorgeous today.” My voice sounds completely lacking in any emotion.
“You seem a little down,” she points out.
I cross my arms, then uncross them. This is your sister. You can talk to her . And maybe the booze is getting to my brain, loosening my tongue more than usual.
“Everyone’s all finding their someone,” I say. “And here I am, all alone. Even you brought someone with you this time. I’m … a sad sack of jealousy.”
“Oh, CharlieBoo. It won’t always be like that.”
I stare into the fire. Pour another drink from the bottle on the coffee table. Swallow it. Feel the burn. Look around at everyone around me. See Reyna waiting patiently for me to say something. Check my phone for the tenth time in the past two minutes, seeing if Rowan’s texted. Pour another drink. Finally, I say, “I guess I’m lonely. Even surrounded by people.”
I should want Tristan. He checks all the boxes. But I don’t. I want Rowan. I barely know him, and I can’t get enough.
My emotions must be written all over my face, because Danny glances at me, and then he and Alden get up and move to sit on the love seat facing me.
“Charlie’s a moody bastard tonight,” Reyna says.
“So that guy you’re hung up on isn’t the right one?” Danny asks.
“What guy is this?” Reyna asks, both eyebrows raised.
Which in turn raises my hackles, because the last thing I want is Reyna telling our mother I’m seeing someone. Mom was crushed when Cam’s ex-girlfriend left him at the altar—though now that Cam’s with Shelby, that’s kind of water under the bridge. There’s no way I’m bringing someone to meet the family unless it’s serious, though.
“I met him Friday. I barely know him. Don’t plan a goddamned wedding for me,” I mutter. Then I down yet another shot.
Danny looks at Alden with a radiant smile. “Sometimes it just takes meeting one person to make your entire world fall into place.”
“You’re getting soooo far ahead of me,” I say. “I. Just. Met. The. Guy.”
“Sounds like you might have a crush, though,” Danny says.
Reyna perks up. “Aww, CharlieBoo, that’s so cute! Who is he?”
I roll my eyes. “His name’shrowan, and he’shh a total menace.”
“But you like him,” she continues.
“Yeah.” I huff and stare at my empty glass. Okay, I’m drunk. “There’s sumfin about him I can’t get out of my system.”
“So what’s the hang-up?”
“If you met him, you’d know he isshn’t on my plan.”
“Oh, he sounds better and better,” Reyna says.
“Whatever. I’ma … I’mmm going to bed.” I’ve had enough. I don’t need to see their happy faces.
Maybe I need a new ten-year plan. I can get to work on that after I turn thirty.
I stomp through the dark night back to my cabin. I open the door, take off my boots and jacket, and stand swaying in the entryway, my vision blurry. It’s not horribly late, I don’t think. I manage to pull out my phone and text Tristan. He’s the one I’m supposed to want.
Charlie
How come your not out
*Youre
You’re
Tristan
Hi, stranger. Haven’t seen you in a while.
And wtf? You know why.
Charlie
I’m in Mammoth. Thinking about you.
He doesn’t reply for a long time. Did he fall asleep?
Tristan
I didn’t know you were going there. If you’d told me, I would’ve lent you my family’s cabin.
Fuck. Of course Tristan has a cabin up here. His family has everything.
Charlie
Sorry, it wasn’t that well planned.
Lies.
And I apparently have nothing else to say to Tristan tonight.
Tristan
It’s okay. I’ll see you on Friday. Going to bed. Night.
Charlie
Night.
I still want to hear someone’s voice.
Before I know what I’m doing, I dial. “Rowan?” I start to pace around the cabin.
“Charlie. Hey.” Rowan sounds hesitant, but not sleepy .
My pulse jumps in my throat, and I feel breathless listening to his voice. “I misss you,” I blurt.
Silence. A long, drawn-out silence where my heart pounds and my palms start to sweat. Then, “I miss you, too.”
I rock back and forth on my feet. “Isss ridiculousss that I misss you. I barely know you.”
“Have you been drinking?” There’s a smile in his voice.
“Kinda yesh.” I lick my lips.
“That’s so cute. Tell me more about why you miss me.”
Why does his voice make my dick hard?
“I dunno. You’re kind of ruining me.” I’m also dizzy. Whether it’s from the altitude or the whiskey or talking to him, I don’t know.
“Excellent. That’s my grand plan,” he tells me. “When can I take you on that date? What do you think of axe throwing?”
I yawn. “No dates,” I say reflexively.
Why are you like this?
“Why are you so stubborn?” Rowan asks, echoing my thought, but there’s amusement in his voice. I think he sees me as a challenge.
I stop pacing, because the room’s spinning. I open a bottle of water and take a drink, which helps some. Finally, I blurt, “Because if I’m not stubborn, I’m scared you’re going to chew me up annnnd spit me out annnnd wreck me.”
A long pause. Then Rowan whispers, “I’m never going to do that. Never .”
And somehow the fierceness of his answer helps me believe him. “Forrrrrr the record, I’ma never gonna do that to you, either.”
“Good.” Rowan sighs. “Look, Charlie. I know we don’t know each other well, but I want to get to know you. I like you.”
“Yeah, I likeyoutoo.” Now we’re talking like we’re in elementary school. “Tell me one thing about you. One thing no one knows.”
Without hesitating, Rowan says, “In school I carried around Frank’s RedHot sauce in my backpack. Instead of a laptop or pens and paper.”
I burst out laughing. The room’s still spinning slightly. “Why?”
“Well, what if I was hungry and I wanted chicken, but I wanted it to be spicy?” Now he’s laughing, too.
“I guess I see your point. I jusss dunno anyone who carries around Frank’s. Lube and condoms, yes. Extra sauce, no.” I pause. “I used to carry around Uno cards.”
He snorts. “Why?”
“What if I wanted to play cards but didn’t have any?”
“I see your point,” Rowan says, echoing my words since I echoed his, I think. I down the rest of the bottle of water, needing to sober up.
“Tell me something else,” I say, loving just talking to him. Loving how much I want to get inside his brain and see how it works.
And again, Rowan doesn’t wait even a second. “I’ve spent way too much time trying to figure out if there were more doors or wheels in the world.”
I blink at the phone. “I’ve … never thought about that.”
“My mind works in mysterious ways.”
“It’s cool,” I say. “I like the way your mind works.”
I hear him yawn.
“Are you tired?” I ask.
“Kinda, yeah.”
“Then go get some sleep,” I say. I want to call him baby, but then he’ll call me Daddy, and enough of that shit.
I also want to talk with him all night long, but that’s a bad idea, too. I think I need to go to bed.
“Night, Charlie,” Rowan says softly.
“Night.”