Chapter 16
Cesar
Within twenty-four hours, we head north, while the plume of smoke rising from the cabin paints dark swirls on the bright sky. The fire would not go unnoticed, and someone would check the place eventually, but the damp, snowy woods were a fitting pyre for Lyle and co.
I arranged the bodies in a way suggesting they all died fighting each other, even left most of their weapons behind, alongside the SUV I stole almost two weeks back.
Sullivan’s organization might now be up in flames as different players fight to fill the power vacuum, but we only have so much time until they realize five men and two vehicles have been lost. Until then, the bright yellow SUV will work well for our needs.
It has heated seats at the front, so Eli can be nice and cozy during his naps.
It was adorable that he insisted on helping with the bodies, but I had to be stern with him.
He’s hurt his ankle again, and he’s not allowed to strain himself until we know what’s going on with it.
I’m still in awe of him when I think he jumped off a roof for me and smashed Lyle’s head in with a hammer.
I don’t know if I deserve that much affection, but I’m still gonna take it.
We’re both sad to lose our safe haven, but I chose to take a bit of it with us and cut some of the decorated branches off our Christmas tree. I’ve placed them in the back seat, and attached several to the ceiling to create a place where Eli can relax during our way north.
That man’s like a cat. If he can take a nap, he will, and he’s asleep even now. We’ve had barely two weeks together, but I think his face has already filled in a little, and while still slender, he looks healthier now, less pale. I will make sure he always has what he needs.
And that includes medical attention.
It takes me a while to find a provider that’s right for us, and so does moving north using smaller roads, where we’re less likely to be flagged by automated systems, but eventually I arrive at the far end of a parking lot behind a supermarket and stop close to the mobile clinic the size of a shipping container.
The outer lamp is already off, but I exhale with relief at the sight of the car parked next to it.
I was worried we might arrive too late, but the attending physician must still be in.
“Lamb, wake up,” I say and squeeze his shoulder, before making sure the disposable mask he’s wearing, to minimize the chance of being recognized, is not out of place.
The way he blinks at me, so sleepy… I just want to squish his cheeks and eat him up. I’m glad he lets me fuck him bare, because I couldn’t stand anything between us.
One yawn later, Eli is able to speak. “Hm? Where are we? Snacks?”
Even the way he says that last word is precious.
Snacks.
But this is not the time to feed my addiction to him, so I comb his hair with my fingers. “Your ankle needs an X-Ray. Let’s get you inside,” I say and open the door.
Eli’s eyes widen. “What? I can’t go to a hospital. I’ll get arrested.”
The red woolen hat hides his gray hair, one of the features that would make him recognizable.
I also chose red for when we were at the cabin, so I could spot him in the woods with ease.
Now that we’re back among people, he might need a hat that stands out less.
But right now, there are other concerns.
“That’s why we’re not in a hospital,” I say and approach his side of the car. His ankle is still terribly swollen, and I’d be a lousy partner if I left him to suffer, and maybe even end up with permanent damage.
As soon as Eli tries to get out, I shoulder as much of his weight as I can without carrying him.
“What is this place?” he asks, looking around, but it’s late, and he won’t be able to see much beyond the faint glow of the lamps in the parking lot.
“Middle of nowhere. We had to make a little detour, but I can pull some strings here,” I tell him. When I see the way he’s limping, I can’t help myself after all. I lean down to push my arm under the backs of his knees, then lift him up on my way to the clinic.
We’re halfway there when a woman with short dark hair steps out with a key in hand. She stalls, takes us in, then shakes her head.
“I’m so sorry, we’re closed. Besides, it’s only me now. The doctor already left. I can provide you with the address of the nearest Emergency Department.”
“You’re an X-ray technician. That’s all we need,” I say, continuing on my way. She takes a step back inside, squeezing one hand on the door handle, as if she feared I’m here to rob her.
“I’m sorry but how do you—”
She doesn’t know me, but I was one of the men who beat up her husband to force him into paying his debt to Mr. Sullivan. And I know the way she ended up obtaining the money was far from legal.
I did not pick this particular place just because of there not being that many cameras around.
“I worked with the man your husband borrowed money from, and I know how you covered his debts,” I tell her simply, because all I want is the X-ray. I’m not here to mess up her evening.
She straightens, and I can see her going pale. I wouldn’t want to meet me at night either.
“Can I never move on from this? I thought it all ended with that Festive Fugitive guy. Sullivan’s dead. What do you want?” The jingle of keys in her hand tells me they’re trembling even though she’s holding them behind her back.
“As I said, I just need to know if his bones are whole,” I say, approaching her calmly. “I will pay you for your trouble. All I want is discretion.”
She takes a deep breath, reassessing the situation with a frown. Her gaze lands on Eli’s leg. “Okay, let’s just be quick.”
“I’m so sorry,” Eli mumbles through his mask, but she shakes her head and leads us in.
“Don’t tell me anything. I don’t need to know why you can’t go to a normal hospital, or what your names are,” she says as we step into the tight space featuring a desk, chairs, lots of storage, and the mobile X-ray unit at the back.
Considering the size of the trailer, I can only assume there’s another room that can be entered from the back, but just like her, I don’t need to know everything.
The procedure goes very swiftly after that.
Eli’s ankle is whole, and the swelling is due to a bad sprain.
Nurse Patch recommends we purchase a support brace, and I already know that will be the first thing we do once we’re out of here.
The supermarket should stock them, actually.
If it’s closed, I can probably break in without much trouble.
Maybe even get Eli snacks while I’m there.
We’re about to leave when Eli stops both me and the nurse. “Wait. While we’re here, real quick, could we please take an X-ray of his chest?” He pats my shoulder.
After a stunned second, I know what this is about, and while he’s being thoughtful, I break out in a cold sweat.
“Why?” the nurse asks, picking on the reindeer pin attached to her scrubs, but she must have realized this unexpected visit will be over faster if she does what we want her to, so she approaches the machine to shift things around.
For a moment, I say nothing, eyeing Eli with an uncertainty I rarely feel. “There is no need,” I whisper.
“You’d finally be certain.” He strokes my face, his eyes so soft and full of compassion I could drown in them. “And if it is there, you’d know to extract it in the future. If it’s not, you’d be free.”
I know he’s right, that this has been going for far too long, but agreeing feels like jumping into a dark cavern without anything to keep me safe.
My brain is pounding as if it’s grown too big for my head, and I can’t think.
“Sullivan will know. He will punish me,” I tell him in a low voice and lick the sweat from above my lip.
Eli’s cold fingers trail over my hand. “Sullivan’s gone, Wolf.
You’re free to do as you wish.” He’s probably not using my name in case the nurse is eavesdropping, but it feels so tender and personal when he calls me that.
He knows I’m dangerous, yet has no fear around me.
He trusts me. Cherishes me. Wants what’s best for me.
And when he looks at me from behind the mask that hides his identity, I know I can’t stand disappointing him.
He’s the one I live for now.
“So… you want me to do it?”
Eli nods. “If not for yourself, would you please do it for me? I need to know what we’re up against.”
‘We’. As if my problems are his to handle. As if he’s the one who ought to take care of me, not the other way around. A part of me wants to correct him, but he squeezes my hand, and it’s clear to me then that my obedience will make him happy.
How can I refuse?
There’s a siren ringing in my ears, like a tornado warning, when I stand in place, about to risk that my body is in fact rigged and self-destructs. But I’ve been through so much worse, so when the nurse steps away, I lock eyes with my sweet lamb, who gives me an encouraging smile.
It’s hard to breathe when anticipation twists my ligaments as if I’m a human-sized salami, but then the apparatus beeps and—
“We’re done” the woman says, and I stare at her, unsure if it really is over.
Nothing’s happened.
I’m still whole. And Sullivan’s dead and can no longer reach me.
“Anything in there?” Eli asks, limping to the nurse’s side. “Any metal in or around his heart?”
I dress in my coat while she takes her time, but once the photo is mounted on the bright screen, one thing is as obvious as the fact that I would rather die than disappoint Eli—there’s nothing of note inside my chest.
No implants. No bombs. No remotely-activated poison vials.
I’m all flesh and bone, like most people who don’t share my history.
“I don’t know what the hell you two are looking for, but I don’t see it,” she says and frowns at us.