Chapter 17 Pete
PETE
Another year, another New Year’s Eve, and I’m still heading to the pub on my own.
Not gonna lie, I’m sorely tempted to give it a miss.
I glance at my phone, wondering for the hundredth time if I should’ve asked Charlie to come here and spend it with me. Or asked if I could go to him.
I didn’t want to push when he’d asked for time.
Kind of regretting doing neither, and it’s too late now.
I texted him an hour ago, telling him I missed him and that I’d be thinking of him at midnight, but he’s not even read it. Or maybe he saw enough and decided to ignore it.
Ugh, snap out of it, Pete. You know he’s not like that.
It’s almost seven o’clock, I bet he’s out with his friends.
Like I should be.
Meh.
I’ll get ready in a bit when I find my enthusiasm. Cooper snores beside me, dead to the world. Maybe he’s got the right idea.
Like she can read my mind, Sadie’s name flashes up on my screen. It’s a FaceTime call, so I know she means business.
I answer, because she’ll just keep calling otherwise. “Hey sis.”
“Hey.” Her eyes narrow as she checks me over.
“Not that I’m questioning your fashion choices, but is that what you’re wearing to the pub?”
I glance down at the faded T-shirt and pyjama bottoms that I put on after Cooper got me filthy on our walk earlier. “No.”
I can see the moment something clicks. “You are coming, right?”
“I don’t know.” I hadn’t realised how serious I was until the words leave my mouth.
“Not sure I’m up to being the only single one.
Again. Not after . . .” I don’t finish the sentence, but I don’t need to.
For once, I was hoping that this year might be different.
That I wouldn’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt when midnight strikes and, once again, I have to watch my friends kiss the ones they love.
Because I’d be with Charlie.
I scrub a hand over my face. “I might just stay home, Sadie.”
I expect her to lecture me about going out and enjoying myself, to tell me that it’ll do me good etc. She surprises me.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I must’ve misheard.
“Yeah, Pete. Of course I’ll miss you not being there, and so will everyone else. But if going out tonight is going to hurt you more than heal, then stay in and cuddle up with Cooper.”
I’m a little choked up at that. “Yeah. I think I might.”
Headlights flash across the window at the edges of the curtains. “Who the fuck is that?”
Cooper’s head snaps up and he bolts towards the door.
My heart stutters, then beats a rhythm wild enough to make me rub a hand over my chest. Sadie calls my name, and I pick my phone up from where I’ve dropped it on the sofa. “Hang on a sec, Sadie. Someone’s just pulled up outside.”
“Who?”
“I’ll call you back.” I hang up on her protests, but if it’s who I think it is, who I fucking hope it is, then I don’t want an audience.
I’m almost at the front door when someone knocks. My heart leaps to my fucking throat and I’m so nervous I have to take a moment to just breathe.
It might not even be him.
It is though, I can sense it.
My hand shakes as I reach for the door and yank it open.
Charlie stands there, bag at his feet, looking as nervous as I feel. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
That’s all we manage before Cooper barrels past me to greet Charlie like he’s been gone years instead of a couple of weeks.
I lean against the doorjamb, smiling like an idiot as Charlie crouches down and Cooper jumps all over him, tail wagging so hard and fast I have to move out of the way to avoid whiplash.
I’m thoroughly jealous of my dog by the time Cooper decides he’s fussed over Charlie enough and trots back inside.
I have two seconds to admire him as he stands again before nerves kick back in.
It’s also bitterly cold and I shiver as the wind picks up, and Jesus Christ, where are my manners?
“Fuck, sorry. Come in.” I hurriedly step back and usher him inside, shutting the door behind him.
He glances up at the ceiling, frowning, and it takes me a second to figure out why. “I took it down because of Cooper, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” He bites his lip, and I wonder if he’s remembering all the times we kissed under mistletoe.
I take a step closer, leaving barely an inch between us. “Do we need it?” His gaze drops to my mouth and my belly tightens with anticipation.
“No.” He drops his bag on the floor and we both move at once.
I push him against the wall as his arms wrap around me, and we kiss for what feels like the first time in fucking forever. Pressed together from chest to thigh, I’m not sure we could get any closer while still fully clothed. It’s fast and frantic and so utterly perfect I could cry.
I’ve missed this.
Missed him so fucking much.
And I didn’t know if I’d ever get to have it again.
I’m also aware that we should probably talk before we go any further, but no part of me wants to let him go long enough to do that.
In the end, it’s Charlie who finds the strength to pull back. “Yes,” he whispers, hands sliding up to hold my jaw in a gentle grip. “Yes, I want you. Yes, I want to give this, us, a shot.”
I had some wonderful Christmas presents this year, but his words are better than all of them put together.
Late or not, I don’t care.
“You’re sure?” Maybe it’s me who needs convincing, because I can’t quite believe this is happening.
“So fucking sure.” He kisses me again and I feel it in every little moan, every stroke of his tongue against mine, and I have to stop for a second as I’m smiling too much. I rest my forehead against his instead and take a moment to let this sink in.
“I don’t know how this is gonna work,” he whispers. “With you being here and me back in Bristol.”
“We’ll make it work. As long as you want it enough?”
“I do.” His smile matches mine. “I really fucking do.”
My phone rings, interrupting our moment, and I know who it is without having to look. I’m amazed she waited so long to call back.
“You need to get that?” Charlie asks at the same time as he rolls his hips against mine.
And nope. I do not. “She can wait.”
He laughs as I divest him of his coat, letting it fall to the floor alongside his bag. I run my hands over his shoulders, his chest, familiarising myself with a body that I’ve thought about every day since he left.
He reaches for the hem of my T-shirt, sliding his hands underneath and over my bare skin. But the hall is draughty as fuck and I’m not sure if the shiver that arches my back is from his touch or the outside air finding a way in.
Reluctantly, I step back and grasp his hand. “Let’s go somewhere warmer than here.”
I’m debating between my bedroom and the living room when my phone starts up again. I sigh and glare at it, willing it to stop, but of course it doesn’t.
“Answer it,” Charlie urges. “It’s okay.”
I do, only because it’s Sadie and I know I hung up on her rather abruptly.
“Oh my god! Are you okay?” She yells as soon as the call connects.
Oh shit. I suddenly realise how it might have sounded from her end. “Sorry, Sadie, yeah I’m fine. Look.” I swing the camera around, figuring it’s easier just to show her rather than explain.”
Charlie smiles and waves. “All right?”
“Hello, Charlie.” I can hear the smile in her voice, and when I turn the camera back to me, she has a shit-eating grin a mile wide. “I definitely expect you at the pub now. No fucking excuses, Pete.”
I snort. Does she mean that literally, or . . . ?
“Ugh, mind out of the gutter.” She sniffs, and I notice that her eyes look suspiciously glassy. “And fine, you don’t have to come.” She smiles as a lone tear finally escapes. “But make sure you watch the countdown, because you fucking deserve that New Year’s kiss.”
“Love you, sis.”
“Love you too.”
She hangs up and I turn to face Charlie.
“We can go if you want?” He offers, and I know he means it.
I want to.
Want to go to my local pub with my friends and family and finally not feel like I’m on the outside looking in.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” I hook a finger in his belt loops and tug him closer.
“Later, though, right?” His hands slide under my pyjamas this time and I suck in a breath.
“Much, much later.”
We arrive at the Charnwell Inn just before eleven, and since the rest of them have been there since around seven, we’re met with teasing laughter and catcalls.
I love every last second of it.
Because I’m not on my own this time. I’m walking in with Charlie, his hand warm in mine. My sister all but jumps on me, smothering me in hugs and kisses while my drunk friends greet Charlie like he’s been lost at sea.
It’s loud, sloppy, and glorious, and I don’t remember ever being this happy.
For once, I can relax, drink in hand, and welcome in the New Year with smiles and laughter instead of waiting for the right moment to duck out before the dreaded countdown begins.
At that first shout of TEN, I join in with everybody else.
NINE and EIGHT ring out as I search out Charlie.
I yell out SEVEN as I spot him making his way back from the loo.
I miss SIX and FIVE, too busy watching him as he spots me and smiles.
I love that smile.
FOUR has me gesturing for him to hurry the fuck up, as there is no way in hell I’m missing it.
I laugh through THREE as he dodges around a group of drunk, giggling women.
TWO hits as he comes to a stop in front of me. I grab his wrist and tug him close.
We both whisper ONE together.
As cheers erupt around the pub and “Auld Lang Syne” blasts out on the TV above the bar, I do what I’ve been dreaming about for fucking years.
I kiss the man I’m in love with.
It’s way too soon to tell him that—I’m not a crazy person? but I know what that feeling bubbling inside me is. He moans as his hands slide along my jaw and into my hair, tilting my head the way he wants, and deepens the kiss into something definitely not PG enough for the middle of a pub.
Hopefully everyone’s distracted enough not to pay us much attention.