Chapter 16 Charlie
CHARLIE
Christmas was lovely.
Seb and I drove home together to spend it with our respective families.
I even managed to finish my book in the days following. Of course, I have to read the whole thing through again before I send it to my editor, but that can wait. For now, I’m just going to bask in the knowledge that it’s done.
Which reminds me.
Charlie: I finished my book
He doesn’t reply straight away, not that I expect him to. He’s probably busy enjoying some free time after the rush up to Christmas.
I’m watching TV with Seb when Pete’s name appears on my phone screen. I catch Seb’s smirk as I snatch my phone up. “Shush.”
He snorts but doesn’t say anything.
NYE Pete: That’s amazing. Can’t wait to read it
Charlie: It’ll be a few months yet. Don’t tell me you’ve already finished those two I sent you?
NYE Pete: I’m about halfway through the first one. Had to stop reading at night
I laugh out loud and Seb raises an eyebrow. I wave him away.
NYE Pete: Not because I was scared, obvs
Charlie: Of course not
NYE Pete: You’re laughing aren’t you?
Charlie: I would never
I am smiling though. A huge wide smile that makes my cheeks hurt.
NYE Pete: Any news on the flat?
Charlie: Waiting to hear back from the estate agent.
NYE Pete: Fingers crossed they want it. Let me know x
Charlie: Will do x
I sigh as I set my phone down. “Not a word,” I say, because I can feel Seb watching me and I’m not in the mood right now.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he mutters, but I know he’s going to bring it up soon and make me talk about it. And I know I need to. I’m just not quite ready.
“Well? What did they say?” Seb stares at me, waving his hand for me to speak when I don’t answer straight away.
It takes me a minute to find words because I was starting to think this day would never fucking come. “They accepted our counteroffer.” On New Year’s Eve of all days. I didn’t even know the estate agent was open today.
“Yes!” Seb whoops and jumps off the sofa to grab me in a hug so tight it makes me laugh. “Fucking finally.”
I still can’t believe it. “Nothing’s going to happen until next week, obviously, but they want it.”
“Even more cause for celebration tonight.” He lets me go and looks me dead in the eye. “Unless you’d rather be celebrating somewhere else?”
“No, of course not.”
Seb raises both eyebrows, giving me his really? look. “So there’s no one else you want to share this bit of spectacular news with? No tall, dark lumberjack—”
“He’s not a lumberjack.”
“Oh good, so you do know who I mean. I was starting to worry.”
I scowl at him. “I’m going to tell him.”
“In person?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Because I’m pretty sure he’d welcome you with open arms.”
I think he would too.
Maybe.
But I still haven’t given him an answer to his question.
“I’ll text him later.”
Seb groans and flops down onto the sofa. “What are you doing, Charlie?”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“When you think about Pete, about telling him about your flat, what do you think he’s going to say?”
I smile because that’s easy. “He’ll be happy for me.” I can already picture his face.
“There.” He jabs a finger at my face. “You only ever smile like that when you’re thinking or talking about Pete.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
He gives me that look again, and I’m quickly coming to hate it. “You also look sad and confused a lot of the time, but nothing—and I mean nothing—makes you smile like that.” He sits back and crosses his arms like he’s made his point.
“You know I like him. That’s not the issue.”
“Then what is? Enlighten me.”
Now it’s my turn to give him a look of my own, because we’ve been over this so many times I’m sick of talking about it.
His expression softens; so does his voice. “Humour me. One more time. Why aren’t you getting in your car right now and driving up to Charnwell to spend New Year’s with the man you so obviously lo—like a hell of a lot?”
I narrow my eyes. Surely he wasn’t about to throw the L-word out there.
“It was three weeks, Seb.”
“So?”
“That’s not long enough to get to know someone.”
“Bollocks.” He looks thoroughly unimpressed with me, and yeah, fine. He has a point.
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I’m not sure I do.” He holds his hands up. Fuck me, we’ve reached the counting stage. “One, you’ve technically known him for a year.”
“You can’t count twenty minutes—”
“Two, not only did you stay in his annexe, you slept in his bed. On multiple occasions.”
I keep my mouth shut because that part is absolutely true. A shiver runs through me just thinking about it.
Seb notices and smirks. “And three,” he says softly. “You rescued a fucking dog together. How much more proof do you need that the universe is telling you Pete is it?”
Well, when he puts it like that.
But I’m still me, and I can’t help myself. “What if all that was a consequence of being forced into such close proximity. If the pub roof hadn’t leaked, would we still have got together?”
Seb sighs, exasperated. “No one can answer that.”
“And what if we discover that actually we don’t have anything in common and it was just circumstantial?”
“Then you call it a day and stay friends. Or not.”
I huff. “Just like that?”
He smiles. “Yep. Just like that.” When he stands, he grips both of my shoulders and waits for me to look him in the eyes. “Do you miss him?”
“Yes.” Of course I do.
“Do you get yourself off thinking about fucking him?”
“Seb!”
He has the gall to laugh at my scandalised expression. “Answer the question.” It’s obvious from his smug smile that he knows the answer already. Not sure I want to know how, exactly.
“Ugh, fine. Yes,” I grumble, cheeks flaming.
“And do you want to spend New Year’s Eve at the Charnwell Inn with Pete, to be able to kiss him at midnight like you should’ve done last year.”
I don’t know about the last bit, but everything else? “Yeah. I do.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“He hasn’t asked me to go up there.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” He shakes me a little. “I love you like a brother, Charlie, but right now I want to shake some sense into you.”
“Pretty sure you’re trying.”
He glances down and immediately stops. “Shit, sorry.” He lets go and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You asked him for space and time, and that’s what he’s giving you.”
“I know.”
His expression softens. “You’ve got to make the first move here.”
“You think I should go up there, to Charnwell?” I bite my lip as the idea settles and takes root.
“What I think doesn’t matter. What do you want to do?”
I want to go up there. I remember how Pete was last year. Even if I didn’t know him then, I could tell how much it hurt to be on his own while everyone he loved had their someone. I want to be that for him.
Fuck.
I want to be his someone.
“I need to go.”
“Yes!” Seb whoops for the second time today and grabs me in another hug. He lets me go just as quickly and checks the time. “Fuck, you need to get a move on. I don’t know what traffic’ll be like, but they’ve forecast snow up north, and you don’t want to get caught in that.”
No, I really fucking don’t.
Seb claps his hands together. “Right, let’s get you packed and on the road.”
I grab his arm, suddenly remembering. “What about the party?”
“What about it?”
“You begged me to go with you so that you wouldn’t have to go on your own.”
His wry smile has me connecting the dots.
“Oh.”
“If you weren’t going to see Pete, I didn’t want you sat here moping all on your own.”
I want to argue, but there’s a strong possibility of me doing exactly that. “So you don’t want me to go with you?”
He shakes his head. “Not when you have somewhere else you need to be.” He puts a finger over my mouth when I go to protest. “I can find my own entertainment. Don’t worry about me.”
When I’ve had the quickest shower known to man and packed an overnight bag, Seb walks out with me to our cars. “Text me when you get there so I know you’re safe.”
“I will.”
He pulls me in for one final hug and kisses my temple. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
“Now go get your fucking man.”