Chapter 7
ALEXEI
Saturday is Cody’s birthday, so I get together with the Sinners at the pizza place down the street. When the pizzas and Brad’s and Luke’s calzones arrive, the guys dig in, but I’m not that hungry. I’m on edge—for a variety of reasons.
Guilt from spying on people who are supposed to be my friends.
Tension because tonight’s the night the Saints are meeting with the guide to decide if they can help me with getting answers about my brother.
Uneasiness from avoiding Matteo the past few days.
Since I showed him what these guys could do, he’s been trying to get me alone again. Thursday afternoon, he was at the pickup game. For a guy who’s shown up maybe one other time in two weeks, and who was too distracted looking at me to play well, I knew what he really wanted.
After seeing what the Sinners got up to, he has more questions, but I can’t share everything with him. I can’t tell him about the monster those guys unleashed. Or what happened the night I was attacked. Then he really wouldn’t want me casting this conjuring spell.
After I ignored him through the game and in the shower room, he started texting:
Alexei, we need to talk.
Come on.
Write me back.
He’s blowing up my phone like I imagine some girls blow up his when they want to mess around with him again.
As Cody grabs a breadstick, Seth pops his mouth open, and Cody grins before tearing off a piece and tossing it, landing it right in Seth’s mouth.
“Hit me, Codes,” Brad says, opening his mouth before Cody tosses another piece.
Brad has to shift a little, but like Seth, gets it right in.
“Luke?” Cody asks, and they make an attempt, but it lands on Luke’s cheek before he catches it in his hand and pops it into his mouth.
“I’m terrible at that,” Luke admits.
“You’re good at plenty of other things,” Brad assures him, hooking his arm around his man and tugging him close.
“You’re just being sweet,” Luke says, “but I don’t mind sweet.”
They share a kiss, earning a cringe from Seth, but despite how apprehensive I was about Brad spending time with Luke, I must admit, it’s clear they really care about each other.
“You wanna turn?” Cody asks me, tearing off another piece of breadstick.
My competitive streak kicks in, and I have to get farther than Brad, so I get up and walk a few feet away from the table. I nail it, and the garlicky goodness is less of a treat than the swell of pride in my chest from the victory.
“Show-off,” Brad teases as I return to my seat.
I’m surprised at how much that silly game makes me smile, but it’s a nice distraction from the thoughts racing through my head.
Cody pops a few more breadstick bits into Seth’s mouth, trying with marinara sauce, then cheese.
Seth gets a little cheese on his chin, which Cody wipes off with his thumb.
“Dirty boy,” he teases, which makes Seth beam before he bites at Cody’s thumb, making him burst into a laugh.
If I didn’t know these guys better, I’d think Seth and Cody were dating, but this is just the way they are.
After we finish with the pizza, the waiter comes by with a mini chocolate cake with a candle on it and ice cream. We sing happy birthday, and I wait for presents to come out, but no one’s making a move.
“You’re not opening presents?” I finally ask.
Cody tilts his head. “I didn’t want you to feel any pressure, so we opened them before coming out.”
“Oh, well, I wasn’t gonna skip your gift.
” I retrieve a wrapped package from my coat.
As I pass it to him, he wears a playful smile.
I shouldn’t be nervous, but as he digs in, my anxiety intensifies.
He discovers the Micro B to USB C cord, his forehead creasing as he turns to me.
I explain, “You said you needed one to connect your iPad to your external hard drive, but that you probably wouldn’t bother, so I didn’t know if you already got one. But the gift receipt is in there too.”
His eyes widen with his grin. “I can’t believe you remembered that.”
I shrug. If he knew the other things about him I remembered for the Saints, he’d be pissed, not impressed.
“That was very thoughtful, Alexei. You really didn’t have to.”
“I was happy to do it.”
I notice Seth eyeing me, offering a warm smirk. It’s the sort of moment that twists at the guilt in my chest like a knife.
As suspicious as I initially was of the Sinners, between getting to know them and how Cody saved my life, I know the Saints are wrong about them.
Maybe they are recklessly fucking with magic and unleashing monsters into our world, but they’re not bad guys.
At least, I don’t want to believe they are.
I imagine a world where I could go back and just be friends, real friends. Because I know, regardless of what I do now, if they knew the truth, there’s no way they could ever forgive me.
It’s a painful awareness that I consider for a few moments too long before I hear, “Hope I’m not too late.”
The voice catches my attention, and I turn to find Matteo approaching the table. His scruff’s grown out a little more, his hair even more disheveled than when I’ve seen him the past few days. But somehow the guy manages to make rough look sexy.
Still, it worries me. As relieved as I am that he’s not trying to drag me into a cult intervention, maybe he would have been better off not knowing the truth.
“Hey, man,” Brad says, hopping up from his seat and giving Matteo a hug. “Thought you might not make it. Where you been?”
“Long story short, I was in the library, but I haven’t been sleeping great recently and wound up passing out on a desk. A security guard woke me up, and I had to show my student ID. Just a mess.”
“We can make room for you over here.” Brad indicates the empty part of the bench on his side, but Matteo’s already heading toward me.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “There’s space right here. Alexei doesn’t mind, do you?”
Fuck. I scoot over to accommodate him.
“I like this scruffy look you’ve got going on,” Cody says.
“Cody’s always extra attentive when I get a little scruffy,” Seth adds.
“Then why don’t you just keep it grown out?” Cody asks.
“You get more excited when it’s a rare thing than when I just keep it grown out.”
Cody laughs, grabs a piece of his cake, and tosses it into Seth’s mouth.
“Yeah,” Matteo says, “I’ve been struggling to keep up with schoolwork, and the facial hair snuck up on me.
Here, I got you…” He fishes into his jacket pocket and retrieves an envelope.
Cody opens it to find a birthday card and a gift card, and after his thanks, Matteo grabs a Meat Lovers’ slice and takes a bite.
Then a much bigger one, which makes me wonder if maybe, along with the other shit he’s been neglecting, he hasn’t been eating right.
“So what were you doing at the library?” Brad asks.
“I was thinking I was gonna meet someone there.” He shoots me a quick glare.
No, shit. That’s why I’ve been avoiding the library for the past few days, along with any place Matteo might find me.
“Looking for someone?” Brad says suspiciously. “That’s a first.”
“Not like that. So, Alexei, what have you been up to?” He didn’t even attempt a segue there.
“Oh…same old, same old,” I drag out.
He looks so annoyed, I’m wondering if he might say fuck it to discretion and just blab about what I’ve been up to. No, he wouldn’t do that, but it’s another reminder of my disingenuous relationship with the guys.
We’re only there for another ten minutes before we wrap things up and head back to the dorms.
“Why don’t you guys take advantage of a few minutes alone in Luke and Alexei’s room,” Matteo tells Brad, draping his arm over my shoulders. “This guy and I have some things to chat about.” He can’t disguise the irritation in his tone.
“I mean, we’re obviously fine with having a little alone time,” Luke says. “Alexei?”
I don’t think I have much of a choice since Matteo’s bound and determined to talk, even when there’s nothing to discuss.
“Yeah, that works.”
When we reach our floor, we part ways, and Matteo finally gets me alone in his room.
“What the hell, Alexei?” are the first words out of his mouth. “You couldn’t answer my texts?”
“What for? You know what I’m planning to do.
You know I’m not in a cult. And I might not even have to do it.
Preston’s having a meeting tonight, and they’ll find out if they can help me with this, and then none of this even matters.
” Even as I say it, given how things have gone so far, I doubt that’s how it’ll play out, but I’m holding out hope.
“And if it’s a no, then what’s the plan?”
Damn, he’s sexy with this scruffy look. Kind of wild, feral. Even his frustration is hot. I shake the weird-ass thoughts away.
“Have you even thought about what it means to go through with this?” he presses.
Now he’s pissing me off. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”
“Then tell me what you’re planning to do. Where are you gonna find this guy who’s gonna do these things to you?”
My cheeks are warm. This isn’t something I’m proud of or want to get into, but now that he’s brought it up, I realize it wouldn’t hurt to brainstorm with someone who might help me come up with a better plan.
“I downloaded Grindr, and I was thinking to post a torso shot. And then say I’m into a very specific kink…”
His eyes widen. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I wouldn’t do it near campus. I’ll drive to Buford or Snellville.”
“This is your big plan?”
“There are sites online too.”
Matteo puts his hand to his forehead. “No, this isn’t happening.”
“Oh, it’s happening all right,” I assure him. “I haven’t come this far to back out now.”
“No, I mean you finding some stranger to do this crap with. I’ve been thinking about this…a lot…like, I’ve run through options, and it’s the only thing that makes sense…and…” He hesitates, searching around my room before grunting.
“And?” I press.
“It’s gotta be me.” He says the words so quickly, I figure I must’ve misheard them.