Chapter 20
ALEXEI
It’s wild seeing Seth so vulnerable, pleading with his friend not to go through with this.
Casting doubt on Matteo’s and my motives was his last hope of stopping Cody, but now that I’ve offered to let him push the truth out of me, he must realize he’s out of excuses.
We all saw Cody exorcise Farras from Matteo; this might be our best shot.
“I can’t imagine how we’re gonna pull this off,” Seth says. “We just walked right into the frat yesterday, but if Syphor knew Matteo was inside Finnegan, he’s not gonna let his guard down. And he’s got three guys guarding him. Gage and Pres could easily kick our asses.”
“I could probably take Preston,” Brad says, and it comes across a little cocky, but it’s true. “Gage, not so much. But I’m more concerned about their powers, assuming they have any. Matteo, did you pick up on that?”
“That didn’t come up. Or at least, not that I can remember.”
A thought springs to mind. “Wait,” I jump in. “How do you know your powers will even work on them?”
“Seth pushed on Preston and Finnegan that night in the woods,” Luke says.
“At the time we assumed they were dicking around, not realizing a monster was on the loose. Now it’s clear they knew about us, but even then, Seth’s powers seemed to work on them.
Although, it’s possible this thing went into them after that night, in which case who the hell knows if they’ll still work? ”
“It’s also possible they could have been faking it like I did,” I remind them.
Brad and Seth exchange a look.
“Wish I hadn’t told you,” Seth mutters.
“What is it?” Matteo asks.
Seth grunts. “Gage caught me fishing through the trash, and I pushed on him. Seemed to work fine. Or at least he acted like it did. But so what? I’m just gonna go in and push on the guys, and then we grab Finnegan? Then what? If this thing has powers, is Brad gonna fuck Luke so we can take him on?”
From my spying, I learned that’s when Luke’s power is strongest—when they’re messing around. It’s why they were doing that the night I showed Matteo the Sinners’ meeting.
“Just like with Farras,” Cody says, “this thing is in a human body now, and it has human limitations. We tie him up, take the bracelet off, and do the same thing as before. If Seth can take care of the guys, then it’s four against one.”
“Six against one,” Matteo says.
“Yeah,” I add, “we’re not letting you guys do this on your own. We can help.”
Cody looks at Matteo before averting his gaze quickly. I noticed that same look during the commotion, when we were trying to figure out what was happening to Matteo. He looks like he’s afraid of Matteo, but why? There’s something he’s not telling us.
“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Cody says. “We don’t understand why Matteo was able to connect with them, and, Alexei, you would be defenseless. We’ve been training for this. If they start using powers similar to ours, we can at least fight them off.”
He’s right, but I don’t like the idea of them handling this on their own. I want to help if I can. And I have a bargaining chip.
“I can get you guys into Alpha Alpha Mu without being detected,” I say, which gets everyone’s attention.
“How would you manage that?” Seth asks.
“I have a friend on the inside. I can convince him to help us sneak in through the basement. We go in there. We stay in his room until the guys are back. We can wait until Finnegan’s on his own so that we don’t have to take on all the guys together. And then we pounce.”
“That does sound like a much better plan,” Luke says.
“I can get us in there,” Seth insists. “We have friends there too. We can break into the basement and do the same thing without you.”
“But,” Luke says, “what if Matteo and Alexei go first, leave a window open or something in the basement for us. They hang out with their friend and keep an eye on the Saints until Finnegan’s alone.
They make sure the coast is clear. We don’t have to worry about dealing with the other guys.
Just get into his room and exorcise him. ”
“If we go in and something goes wrong,” I add, “at least there’s still a chance you all can get to him. If you guys go in and something goes wrong, everyone’s fucked.”
“Fuck,” Seth says, grunting. He knows we’re right. They need our help.
Cody glances at Matteo uneasily again.
“Is there something you’re not telling us?” I press.
“Yeah,” Matteo says. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” Cody asks.
Clearly I’m not the only liar in the group.
“Like you think I’m about to whip out a switchblade and come for you,” Matteo says.
“I’m sorry, it was just a shock to wake up like I did, and then you were acting weird. I was disoriented.”
Another lie.
“Did you have a vision?” I ask. “Are you gonna wait till we’re gone and share it with the guys?”
Cody’s gaze shifts to the floor. I fucking knew it.
“What did you see?” Matteo asks, moving toward him.
Seth steps in front of Cody, his chest pushed forward, his hands balled into fists like if Matteo comes any closer, it’ll be a fight. “I think we should just make plans for tonight. We’ve got work to do. But first, Alexei, I’m taking you up on that offer to push about the truth.”
“Seth,” Cody snaps.
“We’re not letting these guys help us unless we’re certain they’re sincere. I won’t walk into a trap they set. Matteo, are you willing to do the same?”
Matteo nods.
It sucks that, even after everything we’ve shared, he’s still suspicious, but if this is what it takes to earn their trust, then it’s what we have to do.
As he approaches us, I say, “But don’t press for things we haven’t shared already.”
“I get that it’s a tough thing to submit to,” he says. “I promise I won’t take advantage.”
The sincerity in his voice takes me by surprise. And though I’d still rather not, I know this might be the only chance we all have to work together as a team.
*
After Seth runs his human lie detector on us, Matteo and I head outside and wait for him. Seth honored his word and allowed us each to watch the other as he pushed, to ensure he wouldn’t do anything shady, a fairly reasonable solution from a fairly unreasonable guy.
The guys wanted to talk without us, but they don’t want us going back to the dorms without an escort, in case the Saints are there waiting for us.
We don’t know the extent of the connection Matteo made with Syphor—if it will allow Syphor to know it was Matteo or even be able to figure out where we’re at, so the plan is to grab our things, then lie low at the bottle factory for a few hours.
I’ll reach out to Malcom and make plans for Matteo and me to come over and game with him, then go from there.
“I feel like I just woke up from a nap,” I tell Matteo as we settle by the front of the church, leaning against the wall. “I’m a little out of it.”
“Yeah, it was strange,” Matteo says curtly. He stares off, his gaze lost toward the cemetery.
I take his arm. “Hey, man, are you okay?”
After everything that happened, that seems like a dumbass thing to ask, but really, I’m mostly concerned about what he experienced after touching Cody, and then how Cody reacted.
He searches around like he’s willing to look everywhere but at me. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Tears stir in his eyes. And he must know I see them because he tries to turn away again.
“Matteo, please.”
“You saw the way Cody looked at me.”
There it is. I was right. Fuck.
“Matteo, something else was going on. He wasn’t looking at you.”
“He saw my face, and he was fucking terrified. He just didn’t want to admit it. You said yourself he has visions. What if he saw me do something terrible, but he didn’t want to share it with us?”
That did cross my mind—how could it not? But I plead with him, “He didn’t say what he saw. It could have been anything. Not necessarily you doing something.”
“I’ve seen that look before, Alexei. I saw it on her face, and it’s the same. I keep trying to tell myself that maybe he saw something bad happen to me, but I know that look, it’s burned into my fucking soul.”
“But it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“It does, though.”
“What?”
He hesitates, like he’s trying to stop himself from saying more, but then he says, “I’m not who I pretend to be.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve thought about my biological father.
The things I want to do to him for what he did to her, for all the pain he’s caused to so many others.
The pain his actions have caused me. I’ve thought of terrible, monstrous ways to make him pay for what he did.
” A tear pushes free, streaming down his cheek.
“There’s something evil in me, Alexei. And it wants to tear him the fuck apart. ”
I move closer and hook my arm around his waist. “That’s human, Matteo. You’d probably be a monster too if you didn’t hate what he did to her.”
“You wouldn’t think that if you knew the vile thoughts I’ve had.”
He’s still refusing to look me in the eyes. And I can’t stand it.
“Look at me, Matteo. Please. Just look at me.”
He struggles before finally turning, his gaze locking on mine.
“I wish I could show you what I see when I look at you. How beautiful you are. I see someone kind, who was willing to put aside his own shit and his well-being to try and help a guy he barely knew because he thought he was in a cult. And you could have let me go off and find some random stranger to do that spell with, but you were more concerned about my safety than your own body or how fucking weird that shit was. I see a guy who’s still putting himself at risk for a cause he barely understands because he cares about people. Those aren’t the actions of a bad guy.”
“I wish I could see what you see,” he says as another tear falls.
I raise my free hand to his face, wipe the tear from his cheek, and he leans into my touch before taking my hand and kissing my palm.
It’s a soft, gentle kiss, the kind he might place on my mouth.
He relaxes into it before moving swiftly, taking my mouth, his tongue sliding in effortlessly.
He pushes me up against the wall, one hand gliding under the hem of my shirt, running up my abdomen.
My body’s alive with sensation, my cock pulsing in my pants.
His lips only part from mine so he can kiss down to my neck, and I roll my head back, thread my fingers through his hair.
“It’s not just that shit that makes me know I’m a monster,” he whispers into my flesh before tugging at it with his teeth.
“When I think about anything happening to you, anyone hurting you, it’s hot, searing rage.
When I thought the Saints were brainwashing you, I wanted to fucking end them.
And every day I get to know you more, I just know that I would do terrible things to keep you safe. ”
I’ve felt so alone ever since I lost Nick, but this past year, isolated with my secrets and lies, has been the worst. It’s nice knowing someone has my back now.
No. It’s nice knowing Matteo has my back.
His hot breath slams against my skin, leaving me reeling, before he nuzzles against me. “I keep wondering what you’re doing to me, Alexei, and then I’m just like, fuck it, I don’t even care as long as you let me touch you like this.”
His mouth is back against my throat in no time. With his free hand, he grips my crotch, stroking, and a moan pushes past my lips.
He spins me around to face the wall, and I go willingly as his hips shove against mine, his lips and tongue wild against the back of my neck as he thrusts.
“I want to fuck you right here, like an animal. Just get out all this pain and frustration on your ass like we did last week in your room.”
Desire surges through me. “I want it too,” I confess. Right now, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to me.
He thrusts again, and as I start to turn back to him, I see Seth heading our way.
“Oh fuck,” I say. I spin toward Matteo, and he looks caught off guard, so out of it, like right after he got out of that fucked-up state he was in earlier. As though he was so caught up in our passion, he’d forgotten about the real world happening around us.
“Seth,” I say, so he’ll understand why I stopped.
“Well, well, well,” Seth says, grinning broadly. “Guess you left out some important details.”
“We—” Matteo starts, but Seth raises his hands. “Hey, it’s none of my business. Let’s get back to the dorms and grab your things.”