Chapter 6 – Nate
The call came in the middle of the night as I stared up at the ceiling. Ava had long since gone to bed, giving not one, not two, but three rounds of earsplitting orgasms loud enough for the entire fucking city to hear. Even after I turned on my noise-canceling headphones as high as they could go, her audio porn leaked through. I was desperately in need of brain bleach.
Every part of the charade made my fucking skin crawl, but she’d been right. No one would’ve believed the silent night I’d planned. The fact that she was in my suite again was even more annoying, but Cash’s digs over text made it apparent that Ava’s first performance wasn’t enough. We needed a steady stream of simulated sex to prove I wasn’t “whipped by that Marcosa pussy.”
It had taken every ounce of self-preservation not to kill him for that, but I knew it was another loyalty test, one I couldn’t afford to fail. Not when so much rode on my surviving and more than my life was at stake.
Thankfully, Ava was more than fine with a little break from her usual nightly activities, especially when the cash was good, the food was free, and I gave her all the space she wanted. If I never had to be in a room with her again, I’d feel like I’d won the lottery.
It wasn’t her fault, truly. I just didn’t want a woman in my space. Or, a woman who wasn’t Mari.
I hadn’t even been gone for a day, and my chest ached at being away from her.
Get over it, I told myself. She’s never going to let you come back.
That was the fucking truth. Had Cash done his reveal in private, I might’ve had a chance, but he publicly humiliated her. More than that, he revealed her mistake, her weakness, to a group of wolves slavering at the chance to destroy her.
Even if she still loved me, she’d never admit it again. The ringing continued as I rolled over and grabbed my phone from the bedside charger, only to frown at the dark screen. No call, but there was definitely ringing happening.
If it’s not this phone, then it’s…
My heart jumped into my throat, and I threw off the blankets, leaping for my backpack. I never let the thing out of my sight, so not even a second passed before I was yanking open the hidden pocket at the bottom. I had a few burners scattered around so I could make calls without Cash tracking me, but the one in this backpack was the only one I wanted to keep safe. Had to, really. I’d even lied to Cash about breaking it just so he wouldn’t get his hands on it.
Filled with pictures and videos I’d taken of Mari, even some of Dominic and Greyson, the phone was the most precious thing I owned. It was everything to me. There was nothing scandalous, just moments of us together, Mari’s softness when she slept, the look of love Dominic and Grey gave her when she wasn’t looking.
My family.
I had to walk away from them in the present, but I’d do whatever it took to keep the memories with me.
Knowing I couldn’t keep the phone out for Cash to find, I’d bought a battery pack, using that to charge it whenever I was alone. Since it was the only number Mari had for me, I refused to turn it off, but I’d meant to at least put it on silent so it didn’t go off at the wrong time.
Too late now.
I flipped over the flashing screen, and my heart thumped harder.It was her.
I clicked accept before I could consider the consequences. “Mari.”
“I fucking hate you.” Her voice was slurred, but I heard the words loud and clear behind all that ice. “I hate you so—hiccup—much.”
“Are you drunk, angel? How much have you had to drink?” Mari trashed would’ve been cute any other time in our lives, but Cash was regrouping, and I knew firsthand that the other leaders were out for blood. If she was caught unaware…fuck.
Please let Dominic and Greyson be close by.
“Don’t call me that,” she snarled, or tried to. Her voice was as unsteady as I imagined her legs were. “You don’t get to call me that anymore. You don’t get to call me anything. You’re nothing to me.”
God, I hated that she was right. I hated that I’d had to walk away from one woman I loved, just to save another.
I’d chosen the family I was born with over the one I made, and all it had cost me was everything I’d ever wanted.
“Mari—” I swallowed thickly, trying to force something out of my mouth. Her pain burned in my chest, and I needed her to know anything. Everything. But I couldn’t do it.
Yesterday, I’d been desperate to tell her everything, but nothing I said was a guaranteed fix, and I didn’t want to hurt her worse. Not when I could hear the agony she tried to hide in her voice.
It killed me knowing that I put it there, that I had given her one more chance to distrust men. To distrust me.
“I should have known that first day.” Her voice trailed off into a mutter, like she was mostly talking to herself. “It made no sense for you to stop for me, and even when you did, you should’ve run the second those assholes showed up, but you didn’t. Of course you didn’t. And there I was, ignoring the red flags like it was my life’s mission to see what I wanted. I mean, Christ. I wanted to believe you were who you said you were. Normal. Kind. Real. I needed that so bad that I forgot everything else.”
She paused, and I had to strain to hear the muffled sound of what I desperately hoped wasn’t a sob. Please don’t cry, baby.
“You were supposed to be my one good thing. My one safe thing. But you were always his.”
Mari ripping out my beating heart with her bare hands would’ve hurt less.
“Baby.” My voice broke at the agony she was in. That I’d caused.
“Don’t.”
For a moment, there was nothing but heavy, aching silence. We were two souls thrown together in the worst possible circumstances, kept together by subterfuge and lies, bound together by nothing but the bond we’d forged. One that I wasn’t sure could ever really be broken.
But it didn’t mean we’d get our happy ending.
I knew Mari. Even if she forgave me—which I sincerely doubted would happen—she’d rather starve our relationship than nurture it. More pain for the both of us and a scar to remind her of her troubles.
To remind her of the stakes of falling in love.
Honestly, the only reason she was even speaking to me now was because no one would believe me if I told them. Mari was drunk, her inhibitions down, but she knew her reputation preceded her. She knew not a single soul would believe she’d called the man who jilted her in front of everyone, and that alone would protect her. At least for this call.
“I hate you.” It was so quiet I almost couldn’t hear her. I wished I hadn’t. Mari had never sounded so bleak.
You did this. You deserve everything she says.
“I know.” I sighed, rubbing my chest absently like it would do anything to relieve the ache of knowing just how far out of reach she would always be. “I hate me too.”
“I wish I’d never met you. I wish you’d never stopped that day. I wish I’d died.”
The thought of her not existing brought me physical pain. A twisting, gnarling ache in my stomach.
“I don’t.” She scoffed, but I pushed on. “No matter how much you hate me, no matter what else happens, I’ll never regret you, Marianna Marcosa.”
“Of course you wouldn’t. You weren’t the one who was played, who was kissed and loved and fucked by a lie. You got to walk around knowing you were dipping your dick in prime Marcosa pussy while I looked like a fucking idiot.” She said it like she was quoting something, and I swore then and there that if it was Cash, he was a dead man. I could suffer through a lot for the people I loved, but not that. Anything but making Mari feel like she was nothing but a hole to me.
I tried to center myself, to let her hear the honesty in my words. “I know you don’t believe me, but it wasn’t like that. I swear to god.”
“You’re right, I don’t believe you. If we were anything other than a lie, you would’ve told me because we both know I would’ve listened. But you didn’t. Don’t worry, though. You don’t have to regret me. I’ll do it enough for the both of us.”
Had I thought I’d hurt her? What an understatement. This was Mari shattered. Decimated. Living in a world without enough stitches to put her back together because I’d chosen to keep my silence and hide my secrets. I’d held my cards to my chest, hoping I could have it all—safety for my family and the people I loved—and instead, I’d walked away with nothing.
“I didn’t want this to happen,” I confessed. A small sliver of the truth she was owed.
It did nothing to thaw the ice in Mari’s voice. “Even if that were true, it did happen, and now we both have to live with the consequences. Mark my words, Nathaniel Beckstrom, I’m moving on, and the day I forget you exist will be the happiest day of my life.”
The beep startled me, and I pulled away to find the screen black again. She’d hung up on me, and I couldn’t even blame her.
The day after I returned, two Aces and I made our way to a dilapidated warehouse downtown to shake down some of Cash’s middlemen. The reason my brother was so successful in Seattle could be narrowed down to one thing: blow.
While he’d been waiting for Mario Marcosa to die, cocaine had become Cash’s drug of choice, both as a buyer and a seller. His addiction got worse when Antoni took over, until Cash was a full-blown cokehead by the time Mari was sworn in.
She’d outlawed most of the harder drugs like fentanyl, meth, coke, and heroin before her throne was even warm, but her strategy wasn’t perfect. She hit the dealers and the suppliers she knew about, but she didn’t realize there was already an underground market, established long before she took over, one fed by secret cartel connections.
She didn’t know about Cash.
When she started her war on drugs, he gained a platform. He kept his network low-key, not wanting to reveal himself too early, and the business thrived to the point that he could’ve bought the city outright if he wanted to. But that wasn’t fun for Cash. He wanted to take it for himself and destroy the Marcosas in the process.
In trying to clean up the city, Mari gave Cash more control than she’d ever know, but I doubted she would’ve stopped even if she had. Some things mattered more than money or power.
One of Cash’s drug dens was underground in a warehouse so derelict, it was practically falling down around my ears. It was also dead center in Marcosa territory, but the condition kept it from looking like a possible hiding spot, exactly why Cash liked it.
The three of us headed in through a hidden entrance, walking straight into what felt like a shitty movie. Women clad in nothing but ratty underwear with more holes than substance counted money and sealed the weighed drugs into small baggies. Unlike what most people assumed, every one of them was clean. You couldn’t have addicts moving your product if you wanted to get paid.
A quick glance showed everything exactly how it was supposed to be, but I jerked my head for Cash’s dogs to sniff around. I had other things to occupy my time.
It took seconds to find two men playing cards in the corner in their ill-fitting suits and big egos. They looked like kids trying to play king.
I said nothing as I invaded their space. I didn’t have to. Everyone knew why I was there.
Cash was a psychopath, but he preferred to let his favorite enforcer mete out warnings…and punishments.
Cooper looked up first, concern flickering through his face before he schooled himself. Renaldi didn’t acknowledge my existence at all beyond a single, lazy question. “Is there a reason you’re here, Beckstrom?”
“Here about your last shipment. You were missing product.”
Renaldi contemplated his cards before dropping two on the table. I’d never been one for poker beyond the few times Jorey and Stowe forced me to play, but it must have been the right move. Cooper cursed, despite his discomfort at having me close. I moved even closer out of spite.
The more off-balance he was, the better things would go for me.
“One kilo won’t kill the bottom line.”
I rolled my eyes, leaning casually against the wall at Cooper’s back. “But ten could. Especially given that’s the low end of the scale for how much you two have taken, am I right?”
Everyone froze, staring at me while I stared right back. I didn’t move while I took in everything. Every guard in the room had a gun, but three of them had additional knives. One was strapped with a veritable arsenal, and that was just what I could see. The four of them stood close enough to Renaldi to defend him if necessary. Playing king, indeed. An internal war will help Mari, a voice in the back of my mind said. It sounded suspiciously like Grey.I wasn’t sure how to fix what I’d fucked up with her, but this was an easy, untraceable start. The guards didn’t have to be my problem.
If Cash wanted to play drug lord, he could do it himself. I wasn’t interested in following in our father’s footsteps, and he knew it.
Cooper was fidgeting under my silent gaze, sweat beading at his temples, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t admit shit. I expected it from Renaldi, but Cooper was the weak link. Stronger than I’d assumed, though. Stealing drugs from a psychopath who snorted as much of his product as he sold was just fucking stupid, and to keep their silence was something close to brave. I knew all about silence, though, didn’t I?
The part of me that remembered Mari’s drunken phone call last night winced. I’d had her right there and still couldn’t tell her the only truth that mattered right now.
That I was sorry.
That I loved her.
That we weren’t a lie.
I couldn’t tell her shit, so why was I expecting Cooper to cop to anything?
“How much to make this go away?” Renaldi asked, facing me expectantly.
“You think you can pay me off?”
Renaldi tilted his head, smirking a little as he regarded me. “I think you’ve been gone too long, little brother. Too comfortable in the Marcosa mansion—and that Marcosa pussy—that you’ve forgotten where your loyalties lie. Maybe she was sweeter than anything your brother could give you.”
It was so close to the truth that I was almost impressed. Not that I showed it. I was a fucking professional.
Renaldi’s eyes narrowed, though he was still pretending to be relaxed. “Why are you really here, Nate? Because our shipment was missing a couple thousand bucks?”
His scoff was echoed with laughter around the room, and I joined in.
“A hundred thousand on the low side,” I corrected.
Renaldi’s eyes narrowed, and we held eye contact.
Staring contests were juvenile as fuck, but men like Renaldi stroked their dicks to images of themselves on top of the world. They were also weak fuckers with even weaker backbones because they didn’t have the training to take shit for themselves. They stole because they couldn’t build, and that showed in everything they did.
Renaldi ground his teeth loud enough to hear when he finally looked away, eyes shadowed with his bruised ego. “I wasn’t aware of anything being taken.”
“Why don’t we cut the bullshit since we all know I’ve got more important things to do than deal with you two. You want this to go away? Either replace the product, or pay back what you owe. Retail price, of course.”
“And if we don’t?”
He tipped his head, and those four guards straightened up like they’d been called to attention. I slipped my hand to one of my own guns, hoping Renaldi wasn’t suicidal. If he killed me, Cash would burn his life down and make him watch.
“Do it, or I’ll come back and put a bullet in your head.” It was that simple.
Cooper spoke up, shaky voice and all. “What if we’re not here when you come back?”
It was my turn to smirk as I waved a lazy hand at the Aces I’d brought. “That’s what Tweedledee and Tweedledum are here for. Word of advice, don’t try to cut them down and run. It won’t work. Big Brother is watching.”
I gave a pointed glance at the ceiling where the cameras—which they’d adjusted little by little over the time I was gone—had been refastened at the correct angles and caged so they couldn’t be fucked with again. How Cash had gotten in without their notice, I had no fucking clue, but it was one more mark against Renaldi being an amateur.
Renaldi waved off the guards, and they stood down. I grinned at him, though I didn’t care one way or another. “You have twenty-four hours. If you don’t have the money my brother’s owed when time runs out, you’re dead, and we’ll find someone else to run this shithole.”
Both men swallowed heavily, and I motioned Cash’s men to follow me out. We paused just out of hearing range as I gave them their orders. “No one takes a piss by themselves until Cash gives the okay. Check in every thirty minutes and again when your relief team shows up. Any fuckups, and it’ll be your heads, not mine.”
The Aces, both newer but still seasoned, nodded, and I headed for the door, ready to wash the gasoline scent from the coke off my body, even if it meant burning my clothes. I hadn’t made it more than two steps when I heard the idiots whispering to each other.
“Do you think he knows about the Marcosas?” one asked. Pretty sure it was Ryan. He was only chatty when he was nervous.
“I’m sure he does, considering he just spent months in their house,” Parker replied.
“I thought my family was fucked up, but I kind of pity her.”
Parker snorted. “She’s richer than sin and hot as fuck. She could have everything and anything she wants, but she’s fighting for power she’ll never keep. She’s been spoiled her whole life, and now the uncles are going to put her in her place. Serves her right.”
I didn’t hear Ryan’s reply. Rage rose swiftly through me, and before I knew what I was doing, I was pulling my car away from the warehouse. A quick turn had me driving toward Mari’s house before I realized I had no clue where she was anymore.
Which meant I had to call in a favor.