Chapter Four - Ruby Jade Brown
Harborne, Birmingham
‘See you Monday!’ Ruby waved to the group of girls who stood arm in arm, high heels planted in puddles, hair worked loose from ties and blouse buttons undone, trying to counter the heat of the club.
‘We love you, Rubes!’ Daisy called.
Nadia chimed in with the same, ‘Yeah, we love you!’
‘Love you guys too!’ she laughed as she climbed into the back of the taxi and buckled up.
These were the best nights. The ones that happened without too much planning or forethought.
Nights when laughter was high on the agenda and nearly everything was funny!
When she thought no further ahead than the contents of her cocktail glass, the music was loud and she could dance, arms aloft, eyes closed, her friends close by. Glorious moments of happy escape.
‘Earls Court Road?’
‘That’s the one. Yes, thank you.’ She always used the same minicab company, booking ahead, understanding there was safety in it. The familiarity. The routine. Plus, it made her mum happy.
‘You know how you’re getting home?’
‘I do, Mum. Please don’t wait up, there’s no need. I’ll see you in the morning.’
This, however, was a new driver, one she hadn’t seen before. He smiled at her in the ‘rearview mirror. A nice face, smiley.
‘Do you mind if I open the window a bit?’
‘Not at all!’ he seemed friendly, accommodating.
She wanted to feel the cool air on her face; not only was she overly warm but sitting still helped her understand just how much she’d drank.
Not that she was sloshed, but she certainly felt the edges of her world softened and smudged by a boozy haze.
This not bad thing, a moment of relief, distraction.
A large glass of water before bed would sort her out.
She did, after all, have a busy Saturday planned.
A day of chores and admin that her life and role – in the HR department at the university – meant were hard to complete from Monday to Friday.
‘Have you had a good evening?’ his manner enquiring, friendly, his voice pleasant.
‘Yes! Out with work friends. And at least I don’t have to set my alarm tomorrow. That’s one good thing.’ She relished her sleep.
‘It’s Ruby, isn’t it?’
‘Yes.’ She became more attentive, wary, as the man used her first name, asked for information.
Even Mohammed after years of picking her up and dropping her off still called her Miss Brown, respected her boundaries.
With her guard up, she spoke confidently.
‘Mohammed usually picks me up.’ She wanted to let him know she was a regular.
‘Yes, Frank said. Mohammed and his wife are visiting their son in Manchester, I believe. Sorry you’ve got me, a poor substitute, I’m sure, but I promise to deliver you safely home.’
So he knew Frank, the controller. Knew Mohammed who liked to talk about his boy, who was about her age, studying in Manchester. She relaxed a little.
‘My name is Chen.’
‘Hi, Chen.’
Some minutes passed before he spoke again.
‘Can I ask you a question?’ he asked as the cab halted in the traffic.
‘Sure.’ She shrugged. I mean, why not, it’d help the journey go quicker. Besides there weren’t many questions she hadn’t been asked on a night out.
‘Can I buy you a drink?’
‘Fancy a dance?’
‘Why’s a pretty girl like you not out with her bloke?’
‘Can I get your Instagram?’
‘Wanna come home with me?’
‘Why so sad? Come on smile! It might never happen!’
Ruby would stare at them knowingly, tight lipped and resolute. Because the one thing she didn’t share was that it had happened. And not only had it happened, but it had robbed her of her smile, for a while.
Chen cleared his throat. ‘If you could spend time with anyone no longer alive, who would it be?’
‘Oh, that’s a great question!’ Ruby sat forward, this a most unexpected topic and something she liked, games. ‘I suppose,’ she tapped her long nails on her mouth, ‘I’d have to go for Dr Maya Angelou. I would sit at her feet and soak up the wisdom of everything she said! That’d be some night.’
‘You’ve read her poetry?’
‘I have, but it’s one of her quotes that I think about most days, it motivates me, helps me.’ Why she felt the need to expand further to the stranger driving the cab would have been hard to explain, yet she did.
‘Which quote?’
‘We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated.’
‘I like that.’
‘I like it too.’ She smiled out of the window of the cab, watching the neon signs of fast-food outlets, vape shops and brightly lit convenience stores slide by as they motored on.
‘Dr Maya Angelou,’ he repeated. ‘You like the idea of it, Ruby? Having that chance to chat to someone no longer here?’
‘I do.’ She nodded, staring now into her lap. ‘Who wouldn’t?’
‘True.’ He laughed. ‘I have something I need to say to you.’ His tone now solemn and, for that reason alone, quite alarming.
‘I’d rather just sit quietly if that’s okay, it’s been a bit of a night and—’
‘Ruby. I need to speak quickly. Please believe me when I tell you that I have never and will never tell you a lie.’
‘Okaaay,’ she replied with nervous laughter. This guy, no matter how intriguing, was starting to sound a little weird.
He held her eyeline in the rearview mirror.
‘I can give you that gift, Ruby. I can give you fifteen minutes, not with Dr Angelou, sadly, but with someone you’ve lost, someone known to you.
Your case is a little different, Ruby; you will have to interact with others – if you choose who I think you will choose.
Remember they have no idea that this is your fifteen minutes, you can’t tell them, of course. Can’t tell anyone.’
Chen carried on speaking, laying out the rules and regulations of the most far-fetched scenario she’d ever heard.
He was taking the game to a whole other level!
In truth she was torn between wanting to laugh out loud, wanting to tell him to shut up, and equally curious about his proposition.
She chose to sit quietly, letting him talk while she tried and failed to tune him out.
It was an odd encounter to say the least.
When the car came to a stop outside of her childhood home in Earls Court Road, it was with a potent mix of mistrust and confusion that Ruby slammed the taxi door.
She was unnerved and undecided in how to handle the situation.
It was tempting to call Frank and make a complaint, but even the retelling would sound weird.
The driver you sent, Frank, the guy called Chen, he was odd, nice enough, but odd. Talking rubbish about giving me time. I don’t want him picking me up again, I want Mohammed.
What would be the point? Chen might get fired and then how would she feel?
He hadn’t been mean, inappropriate or rude, and she’d felt safe as they trundled the familiar route towards home.
He was just a little… she ran out of negative words because, actually, she had quite liked talking to him, liked even more the possibility of having those fifteen minutes.
Now wouldn’t that be a crazy, wonderful thing!
‘Granny Elwood.’ She beamed as she put the key in the door, ‘or my wonderful primary school teacher, Mrs Nichols. Or you, Dad?’ her tears bloomed, as she looked up into the night sky, as the last of her joyful booze glow fell from her shoulders with the raindrops that now landed with splats on the path around her. ‘I miss you, Daddy…’
‘That you, love?’ her mum called from her bedroom on the landing.
‘Yep! It’s me!’
‘Did you have a nice time?’
‘I did.’ She kicked off her shoes and relished the feel of the cold wooden floor on her throbbing feet.
‘See you in the morning, darling, God bless.’
Ruby knew her mum, as usual, would have been loath to go to sleep until she knew her daughter was safely home.
‘That’s the thing with daughters,’ her mother had once explained. ‘They’re a little piece of your heart and, if you’re not near them or can’t see them or touch them, then it’s a most uncomfortable state of affairs, like a piece of you is missing.’
‘See you in the morning, Mumma, God bless.’
Ruby ran the cold tap and grabbed a pint glass from the shelf. This something she understood. She too felt like a little piece of her was missing.
***
It was the next night and after a busy day, and with her mum sleeping soundly, Ruby gripped the banister and prepared to climb the stairs for bed.
‘What if,’ she whispered. Rolling her eyes at her stupidity and gullibility. Returning to the kitchen, she took a seat at the table.
She thought about Marvin, wondering where he was, what he was doing and absurdly wished he were sitting here with her.
He was lovely, Marvin, but it wasn’t meant to be.
They’d had a wonderful time, not quite love, but she had no doubt that, with enough time and the dismantling of their walls, it might have been possible.
It certainly felt like that was where they were headed.
What they went through, while so young, would have been hard enough for even the most established couples to weather.
They hadn’t really stood a chance, still in the infancy of their relationship, as they tried to navigate the hardest thing of all.
Ruby had given it a lot of thought over the last three years, understanding that, when a loss was solely yours to bear, it was easy to reach out to those unaffected and lean on them for support, but, when that loss affected you both, affected you all, it cast ripples that would continue outwards until the end of time.
Distorting the picture, fracturing the calm surface and making it almost impossible to connect at the level necessary for them to grow as a couple. Broken before they even started.