Chapter 33
Kieran
MY FUTURE WIFE
*link to book*
Lying in bed, I can’t stop replaying the way Layla’s eyes shuttered closed, her black eyelashes fluttering, chest rising on a sharp inhale as if she were savoring my secret.
I’ve been doing everything to let her figure out on her own who I am, that all I want is her, and tonight for the first time, she looked at me like she was truly seeing me.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t ignite a little spark of hope in my chest. That perhaps I’m not torturing myself with the scraps she gives me.
That maybe, just maybe, Layla could see me as someone worthy of her love.
Who would have thought a five-foot-two redhead would have me smiling to myself in bed? I feel like a teenager, my thoughts wholly consumed by her—always her.
Lifting my phone, my smile only widens. I click on the link she sent me and download the audiobook, scrolling all the way to the chapter she texted me.
My eyes widen at what fills my ears.
My chuckle is dark, my blood thrumming through my body as my cock swells.
Layla has just given me a roadmap to her ultimate fantasy.
“Oh, it’s fucking on, sunshine.”
The tent rustles, the howling wind joining the sound of my gasping breaths. He pulls back, slowly peeling my clothes away, his rough voice tickling my skin as he all but groans, “You’re so fucking beautiful, baby.”
A hand slaps down on my shoulder, jostling me from my thoughts.
Shaking my head, trying to get that damn audiobook out of my mind, which has conveniently turned from the book characters into Layla and me in the tent, I look up at Grayson.
“Earth to Ashford, you good?”
I clear my throat, nodding. “Yep, all good.”
“You sure? Because Irving has been boasting about how Layla was looking at him at the recent home—”
“The fuck he has,” I growls.
Irving pales as my upper lip curls back. He raises his hands in surrender. “What the fuck did I do now?”
“You talking about Layla?”
His jaw drops, eyes darting around the locker room. “Who the fuck is lying to Ashford?”
Grayson throws his head back on a laugh, the sound making my anger dissolve.
“Fucking Crawford,” I mutter to myself. Rising, I knock my shoulder with his and grab my towel to dry my hair from the shower I took after practice. “Don’t go stirring shit up, man.”
Grayson doubles over. “Fucking priceless.”
Johnson strolls into the locker room, his lips twitching. “We messing with Irving again?”
O’Connor chuckles. “Ashford and Irving.”
“Two for one, fucking love it.”
Irving flops down onto the bench, pouting. “Why do I always get messed with?”
Johnson reaches over, messing up his blond hair. “Because you’re so fucking easy to mess with.”
“Don’t put your oily fingers through my hair. I just fucking washed it.”
Johnson deadpans. “Case in point, Irving, case in point.”
Valenti’s lip twitches across from me, his shoulders shaking on a silent laugh as his best friends boisterous one makes up for his silence.
Grayson claps his hands together, making us fall silent. Looking around, I note it’s just myself, Grayson, Irving, Johnson, Lewis, O’Connor, Valenti, and Ellington. Was I zoned out when he asked us to stay behind?
What the hell is the time? I really need to stop fantasizing about Layla in the locker room.
“Boys’ night, and before some of you complain, it’s mandatory for you lot.”
“What about the rest of the team?” Irving pipes up. “It will hurt their feelings, Cap. No one likes to be excluded.”
Johnson reaches over and claps Irving on the back of the head before nodding in Grayson’s direction. “Sorted. Go on, Cap.”
I snort, the boys also struggling to not laugh as Irving shoots daggers in Johnson’s direction. Grayson just sighs before going on.
“This one is just close family because”—he turns to me then—“Emmy will be joining us.”
My brow arches. “She will?”
“Yep.”
“Hate to break it to you, Cap, but that’s not a boys’ night then.”
Now I’m the one glaring at Irving.
He blows out a breath before muttering, “I’m going to shut up now.”
“Music to my ears.”
“Hey!”
Johnson shakes his head. “Never lasts long.”
“Stop picking on Irving,” Grayson grumbles. “He’s like an infant.”
“That classifies as picking on me, Cap.”
Grayson ignores him and goes on. “We’re meeting back here at seven o’clock, so cancel all the plans you had.”
Johnson chuckles. “What bunny are you canceling on, Irving?”
He flips him the bird but does pull out his phone. Besides Grayson and me, Valenti is the only other one who doesn’t. He notices me staring and gives me a small shrug.
He and I both know exactly why he doesn’t have plans on a Friday night.
“Go home and freshen up. The girls also have a night planned so no excuse to bail,” Grayson adds, picking up his duffel bag.
“Can I at least know what I’m dragging my beautiful daughter into?”
“Nope,” Grayson calls over his shoulder before pointedly looking at Irving. “Everyone on their best behavior. No cussing.”
“Fucking hell,” Irving grumbles.
All Grayson told me to do was bundle Emmy in warm clothes. He wouldn’t budge on anything else, even when I cornered him in the parking lot. Yet he must’ve told Layla because as I walk inside the house, Emmy runs at me full force, already dressed in a scarf, coat, beanie, and little gloves.
Why are kids’ clothes so cute? Her little mittens fit two of my fingers.
Scooping her into my arms, I hold her to my chest. “Hello, munchkin, how are you doing?”
My only answer is her laying her cheek on my shoulder, her little hands reaching around to play with the back of my hair.
Dropping my duffel bag, I soak up the moment.
Just two months ago I used to walk into an apartment with no one to greet me and now I have this little bundle in my arms that makes my heart want to explode.
Venturing farther into the house, I lay my head on top of Emmy’s, something in my chest loosening at her warmth. Except my smile slowly begins to fade as Layla steps out of the kitchen and gives me a weary smile.
“Hey, how was practice?” It takes one glance, one fleeting look to know something is wrong. She tries to straighten her spine and give me a full smile but can’t. Even her complexion is pale.
“What’s wrong?” Leaning forward, I place the back of my hand on her forehead. She has a slight fever. “Are you sick? Did Emmy pick something up at the park and give it to you?”
Layla takes Emmy to the park every day, rain or shine. If it’s raining, they wear adorable little rain boots and coats—matching, of course, because Emmy wants to all but morph into Layla.
Those are my favorite photos she sends me. Them two at the park, my daughter admiring Layla as much as I do.
Seems both the Ashfords are enamored with the nanny.
“I’m fine, I promise,” she says, and yet she doesn’t stop leaning against the kitchen archway, as if she doesn’t have enough energy to even stand.
Sliding my hand from her forehead, I gently cup her jaw to tip her chin up, making those icy blue eyes lock on mine. “Don’t lie to me,” I tell her.
Swallowing, she shrugs. “I just feel a bit run down. Perhaps a cold is coming on? It was raining yesterday, maybe I stayed out with Emmy for too long.”
Before I understand what I’m doing and can stop myself, I lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead. “Go lay down on the couch. I’m home now, so you can rest. I’ll make you some chicken noodle soup.”
Pulling back, I realize what I’ve done.
Realized that I’ve crossed a line Layla drew. This isn’t something on her life list. There’s no reason for me to be touching her this way, and yet it feels so utterly right I can’t force myself to apologize.
I don’t think she has enough energy to scold me, though, because she just blinks a few times before sighing and dragging herself over to the living room.
“I don’t want to cancel,” I hear her whisper under her breath.
“Cancel what?”
And that certainly wasn’t meant for me to hear by the way she tenses. She pauses, slowly lowering herself to the couch before she all but sags into it. “Girls’ night tonight. I don’t want to cancel.”
“Bella will understand.”
“Of course she would. It’s just…” She bites her lip, a faraway look entering her gaze as she confesses, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to cancel plans.”
There’s a hint of sadness in her tone, enough to make me straighten. As Emmy pulls her head off my shoulder, I whisper in her ear, “Why don’t you go upstairs and get Layla a teddy to cheer her up?”
Emmy’s brown eyes widen, my only warning before she’s wiggling to be let down. I place her down gently, only for her to take off like a rocket. There, that’s bought me all of two seconds alone with Layla.
Rounding the couch I kneel in front of her, placing my hand on her ankle. She’s wrapped herself up like a pretzel, hugging her legs to her chest. One look is all it takes for me to spot it—the terror in her eyes.
“I can’t sit here and say I understand what you went through growing up being sick, but I’m guessing when your body feels a little run down you start to maybe…panic a little?”
By the way she swallows thickly, I know I’ve hit the nail on the head.
Letting go of her ankle, I move forward farther, clutching her hand, the one that is twirling the fabric of her shirt—her nervous tell.
“Layla?” I probe.
“Superpower,” she mumbles before taking a deep breath. “I haven’t been sick since being back and yes it…freaks me out a little. What if I have a flare-up? What about Emmy?”
I can’t help but frown. “What about her?”
“I won’t be able to look after her. I won’t have enough energy.”
I can see how much this is eating away at her.
Can see the turmoil wreaking havoc, the thousands of thoughts floating through her mind.
Squeezing her hand in mine, I bend my head, catching her eye.
“I will always want you looking after Emmy, and I understand why you’re scared.
So let’s focus on how you feel right now, okay?
Settle in to rest, and why don’t I call Bella and have her come over here instead of doing what you had planned? ”
Layla stares at me for so long, so inquisitive and questioning, I feel like I’m under a microscope. “Why are you doing this?” she whispers.
“Doing what?”
“Taking care of me.” She throws her hand in the direction of the stairs where Emmy is turning the corner, her golden retriever teddy clutched in her hand. “You have Emmy to take care of. I’m just the nanny—”
“You’re more than just my nanny, Layla.”
You’re so much more, I want to whisper. You’re everything to me.
Emmy comes running, barreling for the couch with her teddy outstretched in her arms. Layla closes her mouth, taking back whatever she was about to say as she smiles at Emmy.
“Oh Emmy, you sweet girl. You want me to cuddle her?”
Emmy nods, climbing up onto the couch and nestling into Layla’s side. I pull the thick blanket over the two of them.
Despite my stomach churning at seeing Layla’s body unwell like this, I can’t help but smile as I look down at my girls, cuddling together on the couch.
“I’ll go call Bella and make that chicken noodle soup.”
Turning on my heel, I leave the two girls that have become my world and pointedly ignore the stare searing a hole in the back of my head as one word plays on a loop in my mind like a broken record. Because if I look back over at Layla, I might do something stupid and tell her I’m in love with her.