Chapter 18
Tatum
Silence.
I can’t find a moment of peace because of my thoughts and the memories of earlier tonight plaguing me.
Fear.
I feel none. All I feel is numb. I used to live in constant fear until I met the monster I was running from.
Caged.
That’s how I feel right now. I’m trapped inside a hotel room with Omen and I have nowhere to run. I built the cage I am trapped in right now. I should have turned my back on Alex and went to CHU and hid out with Vivian and Nova but I ignored caution. I was too enthralled by all things Alexander Denver and now look where I am.
My life was my own. I had financial freedom, thanks to my amazing job that I am neglecting right now. I even made some friends who actually give a shit about me and expect nothing from me. I had everything until I had to go and seek out my family. Thomas used me to get to Vivian and I stupidly led him to her without knowing. My own father was going to kill me! Then my brother turned up and saved me, only to turn around and use me.
I feel so stupid. I let Nexus in and trusted him. I was so desperate for a family that I trusted a snake. His betrayal hurts so fucking badly. Which is why I’m standing in the shower right now so Omen can’t see me cry, I never cry. My emotions are all over the place and I can’t seem to get a hold on them. The way Alex touched me earlier and used my own body against me brought back memories I thought I had long since buried, but turns out I was fucking wrong.
Tonight I made a choice and at the time I thought it was the right one. Nexus admitting that he hurt an innocent girl showed me the true monster that he is, but Alex using me, that hurt more than I want to admit. When a sob escapes me, I cover my mouth with my hand to muffle the sounds. When I feel a gust of air hit my back I spin around, a scream lodging in my throat when my face is gripped and he smashes his mouth against mine. For a second, just one blissful second, I let myself get lost in the feeling of him and how he makes me feel stronger.
I break the kiss and push him back, He stands there fully dressed, staring down at me with guilt in his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.
I shake my head and fight back my tears. “Am I just someone you can use to get to my brother?” I hate how meek I sound but I’m so far past caring right now.
He shakes his head and sighs, then rubs his beard. I respect the fact he hasn’t once dropped his gaze from mine to get a look at my naked body. I see regret which just inches that knife into my heart further. I try to push past him but he blocks my escape. I snarl at the fucker.
“Would you give me a fucking second to explain!” he shouts.
“Fuck you, get the hell out of my way, Butcher.” I relish in the feeling of my anger roaring to life inside me, this is a feeling I can latch onto and embrace. It feels so much better than the pain consuming me a minute ago.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why the fuck not?” I yell.
“Because she’s the one who gave me that damn name!” he roars. I snap my mouth closed and stare up at him in astonishment. “I’m so sorry, Tatum. I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
He inhales shakily. “I know,” he says quietly.
“Ask me,” I grit out.
He frowns. “What?”
“Ask me your most favorite question that you have asked me more than a dozen times.”
His eyes widen in understanding. “ Who hurt you ?”
“My foster father. Want to know why I’ve never made a move to suck your dick?” I don’t give him a chance to answer. “My last foster home was the worst. I escaped all the others before they could touch me but not Ray. He was smart, he knew I wasn’t like the other’s so he used my four-year-old foster sister against me.”
“How?” His tone is laced with venom.
“I either suck his dick whenever he wants or he rapes Emily while I watch.” Alex steps back and stares down at me with a mix of unfiltered bloodlust and rage. I expected to see pity or at the very least for him to tell me he was so sorry for what I went through, but he does neither.
“Do you remember his last name and his address?”
“Yeah, why?” He grips my hand and drags me out of the shower. I stand here confused as hell as he grabs a towel and wraps it around my body, then leads me out of the bathroom without uttering a word. I spot Omen as he stands from his seat in the corner of the small room and stares at Alex with a mix of uncertainty and worry. When he cuts a glance to me I just shrug, a minute ago I was fucking broken hearted then angry and now I’m down right confused as hell.
I’m getting whiplash from my own emotions and I don’t like it!
“I want a current location on Ray…” When Alex turns to face me I recoil and look around the room trying to see what he is looking expectantly at. “I need the last name and the address,” he barks at me. My eyes widen.
“Why?” I sputter.
His eyes darken. “Because I’m going to kill the son of a bitch. Now give me the name, Tatum.”
I bristle at his tone. “Charles,” I force out.
Alex turns back to Omen. “Find everything you can for a guy named Ray Charles—” Alex snaps his mouth closed, then slowly turns back to me and narrows his eyes. I smirk and cock a brow. He opens his mouth to no doubt have a go at me but I beat him to it.
“If you thought it would be that easy, you are out of your damn mind, Butcher .” His eyes spark with challenge, which is fine with me because I’ll always rise to a challenge and never back down. “You don’t get to walk your ass back in here and fuck with my head more. You hurt my feelings and I’m not forgiving you, so fuck off.” Omen chokes on thin fucking air while Alex stands there staring down at me with a bored look on his face.
“Two options, that’s all you're getting. You can change yourself and walk out the fucking door, or I’ll change you and carry your ass out. Pick one.”
I step into Alex and place my hand flat against his chest and bat my lashes, he knows I’m up to something I can see in his eyes. “ Beg me .”
“Omen, out!” he roars.
I poked the bear too much it appears.
Before he can move, I dart away from him and into the bathroom. I slam the door and lock it, knowing he could bust it down if he wanted to. But he won’t, because he knows he’s still on my shit list. I won’t lie, a part of me was so close to telling him what Ray’s last name was but I refused because I didn’t want him to think he could be my white knight after what he did!
* * *
I’m stuck between Omen and Alex as we make our way out of the hotel. Alex keeps his hand firmly placed on my lower back and the heat of his touch sears me, which only further fuels my vexation toward the asshole. I bite my tongue and say nothing, allowing him to lead me outside. I slam to a halt at the sight of one of the blacked out Lincoln’s idling at the curb in front of Alex’s car.
Alex gives me a gentle push. “It’s not what you think, Bambi, keep walking,” he urges. I stow my apprehension away and shift further into Alex’s side. My unease only grows the closer we get, when Alex reaches out and opens the back door. I hold my breath expecting to see Desire sitting there but it’s not, it’s just Halo who smiles reassuringly at me. I look to the front and my brows raise at the man.
“Halo 2 is here?” I hiss.
Alex’s brows are furrowed and Halo looks downright pissed at my comment. Omen begins snickering with laughter beside me.
“There is only one fucking Halo and I’m it!” OG Halo snaps. I purse my lips and nod.
“Noted, OG,” I say, earning a glare from the man himself. Alex groans and ushers me inside the car. Omen climbs in the front while Alex slides in beside me. Halo shifts as far away from me as possible which irritates me. “Why are you being a girl?” I hiss when Halo 2 starts driving. OG turns and glares at me.
“Bambi,” Alex says in a warning tone.
I throw my hands in the air, utterly frustrated. “So you can just turn up at my hotel rooms, kidnap me whenever the hell you want. Steal my phone, hack my fucking phone and computer but I can’t ask questions?” I snap. The car falls silent at my outburst. Alex sighs and scrubs a hand down his face, the fact he’s still dressed in his wet clothes gives me some satisfaction though, knowing he’s uncomfortable.
“Halo’s my twin brother,” Halo 2 says, breaking the tension filled silence.
“Wasn’t talking to you, clone boy,” I grit out while staring at Alex.
“Ask me what you want to know.”
I smirk at the Aztec god. “How’d you get the scars on your back?” Everyone plunges into silence again and its starting to work my last frail fucking nerve. I hear Alex’s breathing turn choppy, but I refuse to back down. I gave up my brother and told him about Ray, the least he could do is be honest with me.
“I think that conversation is best had alone when we?—”
“Shut the hell up, Omen!” I snarl. Alex’s eyes darken and I can see I’m pushing him to his limits, but I’m not afraid of the monster he hides inside. “You know everything about me, you’ve been watching me for months and yet, I know nothing about you. How can you declare me as yours if the same can’t be said of me?”
That gets a reaction. His upper lip pulls back in a snarl as the car slowly comes to a stop. I refuse to break eye contact and give up on this moment when I know I’m so close to getting the truth from him.
“Desire De Santis is their sister. She is also someone I used to fuck.” I fight not to flinch at his cold tone. “I bought our freedom from her family. Those scars you see on my back were the cost.” He shoves his door open and climbs out, leaving me sitting here with my mouth wide open. I watch as he stalks toward a plane and climbs the steps without looking backward. Vatican and Pope shoot me a curious glance through the open doorway before following Alex.
“Word of advice, don’t push him when it comes to his past,” Halo 2 says.
“Your advice means nothing to me. This morning you were the enemy and that still hasn’t changed,” I grit out, then follow after Alex. Before I can get more than five steps, Omen grips my arm and spins me around to face him. “What.”
His gaze bores into mine. “I know you’re mad. I know he fucked up with you tonight, but you need to know the full story before you write him off.”
“And what is the full fucking story, Omen? I’m getting really tired of you all turning my life upside down and expecting me to control the monster sitting on that plane, the very fucking monster that your own sister created!” I suck in a deep breath and wait for him to respond.
“She may have created the monster, but we all know you’re stronger than her, Tate.”
“How?”
He smiles devilishly. “She may have created the beast but you’re the one who can control it. We saw that tonight when you brought him back from the brink of blacking out and going on a killing spree. None of us could have stopped him from doing that, but you did.” My jaw unhinges. “If he doesn’t tell you his story, I will, but it's better you hear it from him because he was the one who lived it.”
“Desire will try and kill you because it will hurt him.” I turn to see Halo standing beside Omen.
“Why would me dying hurt him?” I mutter.
Halo 2 comes to stand on Omen’s other side. “Because he never loved her or looked at her the way she saw him look at you today. You may know nothing about him, but that doesn't mean you feel nothing for The Butcher. You did what our sister couldn’t,” he says in a tone that brokers on the edge of pride.
“What did I do?” I ask, my curiosity piqued.
“You made him feel.” I frown at Halo 2. “He hasn’t felt a single ounce of happiness or any emotion really aside from bloodlust since he buried his little sister. Stew on that while you sit on your high horse and judge him for seeking vengeance against the innocent little girl your brother drugged, raped and strangled to death.”