Chapter 20
Tatum
I have no idea where I’m going, I honestly don’t care either. My feet are aching but the pain is nothing compared to the pain in my chest. I refuse to admit to myself why my chest feels like it’s cracking open. I barely know him. I have no right to feel this broken over a guy who used me. I was a fucking idiot. He warned me from the start that he was going to use me, I have no one to blame except for myself. I wish I still had my phone so I could call Vivian and Nova. I know they have both been hurt like this before and if there is anyone in the world that can understand what I’m going through, it's them.
I spot a lone tree up ahead and sigh. I resonate with that lonely ass tree. It’s on its own in the middle of an open field, just like me. We are on our own with no one else. I have no doubt Alex will slaughter my brother and claim his vengeance, it’s been his mission in life since he figured out who took the person he loves most from him. The sick part about all of this, I get it. I hate that I understand his need to ruin my brother just so he can find peace within himself.
I sit down, lean against the tree and wrap my arms around myself, not really feeling the cold. I know I could have gone to the main house and demanded one of the guys take me to the airport but I’m not stupid. I know women like Desire, even if I told her whatever was happening between me and Alex was over she wouldn’t believe it, and would just kill me for the fun of it. I hear a wolf howl in the distance and I can’t stop the snort from escaping me.
I may not have blown his straw house down but he certainly destroyed my fragile stick house. Maybe one day I’ll find someone who will build a house out of bricks with me. Chances of that happening are slim though, like I’ve said. I’ve never had any interest in males and the one fucking time I do, he obliterates me without mercy.
I tilt my head back and stare up at the sky, it's so beautiful.
“The stars are why she loved this place.” I snap my head to the side to see Omen walking toward me with a blanket and sweater. He tries to smile but it looks more like a grimace when he hands them to me. I thank him, pull the sweater on and wrap the blanket around my legs. “Uh, I brought you these.” I frown as he pulls out a pair of… slippers from his back pocket. I smile my thanks and purse my lips when I realize they are my own fucking slippers—this shit head went through my things.
When Omen sits down beside me I stare at him. “What are you doing?”
He exhales and lulls his head back to stare up at the sky. “You aren’t like every other female, Tatum.” I scrunch my face.
“Uh, is that a compliment?”
He nods. “Believe it or not, I don’t like women.”
I snort. “Gee, I never noticed,” I deadpan.
He tilts his head to the side and glares at me. I raise my hands in mock surrender. “You don’t do well with pain, do you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t cry and scream, or jump on social media and whine to the world.”
I shake my head and decide to be honest with him. “I’ve never seen the point in crying, it changes absolutely nothing about the situation you’re in. Pain is just a reminder of what you’ve survived and it will pass over time. As for social media? Yeah, that’s never been my thing. I don’t even have an Instagram, I only scroll TikTok for the cat videos.” He laughs and it's strange to hear that sound coming from him.
“You’re the first woman I have spoken to in years,” he admits.
“Why is that?” I gently push in a soothing tone.
“In order for you to understand I need to explain things to you.”
“Okay…” I say skeptically.
“Pope, Vatican, Halo, me, Desire, Wrath, Rage and Carnage are all siblings.”
“How does that work exactly? You’re all so close in age from what I’ve gathered.”
He nods, his features pull taut before he forces them to relax. “Halo and Carnage are twins, which I’m sure you have already figured out.”
I laugh. “Yeah, Halo and Halo 2 look like replicas of each other, but also different.”
“They aren’t identical, the only identical twins in our family are Wrath and Rage.”
“Those two creep me out.”
He turns serious eyes to me and I hold my breath. “Never let yourself be alone in the same room as them. Those two are fucking crazy and have no moral compass.” I exhale and nod.
“Yeah, I’ll do my best to never see them again,” I mutter.
“Okay, let me just lay it out for you from youngest to oldest. Vatican is the youngest out of all of us, he’s twenty-three. Then it’s Pope who is twenty-four. Carnage and Halo are both twenty-five. Wrath and Rage are Twenty-six.”
“Where do you and Desire fit into all of this?”
Darkness shrouds him and I tense in anticipation. “Desire is twenty-seven and she is… my twin sister.” My eyes widen and nearly bug out of my head.
“You poor thing,” I blurt out. His eyes widen, then laughter erupts from him. I can’t help but join him.
“It’s not a picnic being related to her, but the fact we shared a womb is worse,” he admits.
“Why do you have a different last name to her?” I hedge.
He takes a deep breath and nods as if gearing himself up for battle. “Toscano was my mother’s maiden name. De Santis was our father’s name. Wrath, Rage, Desire and Carnage are De Santis while me, Pope, Vat and Halo changed our names to my mother’s.”
“Pope told me that…” I try to think of a way to bring it up without upsetting him. “You have different moms?” His jaw tenses and his nostril flare. I reach out and place my hand on his thigh, he flinches but I don’t remove it. “If this is too hard you don’t have?—”
“No. You need to know why he is the way he is.” I know who the he is he is referring to, but I don’t comment. “Pope, Vatican, Wrath and Rage are all full siblings. Halo, Carnage, Desire and me are full siblings. Pope and Vat’s mom was my father’s mistress. My mother knew about… Rosalina. They knew about each other but never cared because to them Roberto De Santis was a prize and he gave them everything they ever wanted.” Pain lances his voice.
“Where is your mom?” I ask quietly.
“She died,” he says in a monotone.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know Pope told you that I killed his mother.” I cringe but don’t deny it. “I did kill Rosalina. I have no regrets. She was a vapid bitch and deserved what she got for what she did.”
I grab his hand and hold it between mine. He frowns and keeps his gaze focused on the contact. “What she did to you is vile and wrong, you didn’t deserve what happened to you, Omen. I may go to hell for saying this, but I’m glad you stopped her.” His eyes slowly lift to mine.
“You mean that, don’t you?”
I nod. “I do. No one should have to face what you did. You are here. You’re stronger than she was. You survived a horrible thing. I was forced to do things… I detested it. I know what it’s like to feel caged by the nightmares of your past.”
“I didn’t. I’m still trapped in that room with her,” he whispers and my heart breaks for him. I see the distraught little boy in his eyes and that shit burns.
I reach out with my free hand and cup his cheek, this time he doesn’t flinch from my touch. “You’re here, with me, sitting under the stars. You’ll never be back in that room with her, Omen. If she wasn’t already dead, I’d stab the cunt for you.” That brings a smirk to his handsome face.
“Your lust for blood may just match his.” I scoff and drop my hand from his face.
“I doubt that.”
“Look, the point of the story was. We are all related by blood, Alex isn’t.”
“How did he become a part of your… family?”
“Carnage.”
My eyes widen. “Halo 2?” I squeak.
“Carnage and Alex were best friends.” That has me sputtering. “Carnage and Alex were tight, Alex had no idea who we were when he met us, he had no idea that my father was the don. When Carnage was cornered one day by the Vatel family, Alex could have run away but he didn’t. At sixteen years old he stood firm by my brother's side and fought. Alex killed six of their men. By the time my father arrived Alex had stolen one of their knives and begun cutting them open. When Roberto asked him why he did it, all he said was, “ I just wanted to see how pretty their insides were. ”
“Wow,” is all I can say.
“After that, Alex was invited to hang around our house. Carnage was our father’s favorite child, he said that Carn would be the one to take over the family because he showed promise. Technically, the role should have fallen to me but I didn’t want it, I was too busy keeping his mistress… satisfied.” Disgust rolls through me.
“Your father knew?” I bite out.
“Of course he did. He told her to see if I had what it took to be a real man. I clearly failed because the mantel fell to Carnage. Alex only bolstered his reasoning when he and Carnage started doing raids of their own. My father started noticing that Alex loved the blood and gore. When he captured one of our rival family’s captain, he brought Alex to the basement and told him that if he could get him the intel he needed, he would be welcomed into the family through marriage.”
My jaw unhinges. “Desire,” I mutter.
Omen nods. “My sister was in love with Alex. She was obsessed with him and would do anything to get his attention, but he never noticed her. Needless to say, Alex got the intel Roberto needed and from the age of seventeen, Alex became my dad’s leading man. Carnage started to get annoyed because Roberto was focusing more on Alex. It only got worse when Alex announced he would take the De Santis last name when he married Desire.”
“What happened, Omen? How did it all go bad between your family and him?”
“I don’t know but Alex does. Something changed in him after Roberto died. When he turned twenty-two he came to me, Vat, Pope, Halo and Carnage and told us he found our way out. In my family there is no out. You’re blooded in and the only way to leave the Cosa Nostra is in a box. When he said we would all get our freedom, we jumped at the chance.”
“I get why you would want to leave but why did the others?”
“Roberto forced us to do things we never wanted to do. He beat us. When men would pledge their loyalty to him they needed to be blooded in. It was me and my brothers that would face off against grown men. They had to either knock our asses out or kill us, one guy nearly succeeded in killing Halo until Carnage shot the cunt. He was beaten within an inch of his life for that.” Bile rushes up my throat and this time it isn’t from the alcohol.
“I’m so sorry.”
He waves away my concern. “We didn’t know the price of freedom would cost Alex fifty lashes. He was whipped fifty fucking times, ten lashes for each person. His back is shredded because of us. He refused to leave us behind and took that shit just so we could be free of our family.” My chest aches at the thought of what he went through. I’ve seen his back it looks like someone took a grater to it.
“Why didn’t Carnage leave with you?”
“He didn’t want to live in Alex’s shadow anymore is my guess.”
“What happened between him and Desire?” I push.
“Honestly, I don’t know. She was head over heels in love with Alex but he never cared about her the way she wanted him to. If Alex spoke to another girl Desire would lose it and have her killed. Alex had no idea until Pope told him about what our sister was doing. She lost it when Alex wanted to leave. He has my family’s name inked on his skin and refuses to remove it because he says it's a reminder of what we have all survived. I never knew what a real family was like until we all left. Wrath and Rage were never like us and Alex never tried to take them with us.”
“I don’t blame him,” I mutter.
“Not only did he get whipped, he had to swear he would never kill again. The Butcher belonged to the De Santis family and upon his release from the family, Desire vowed to wipe his existence from the world so no one could ever hire him or use him against her. He agreed. We can never have our own operations?—”
“Hang on, you are the Denver Kings though.”
He smiles wickedly and wags his brows. “Are we?” he purrs.
“Oh my God, she has no idea that you are all doing… business behind her back, does she?”
“She does now.”
“Why did she leave you alone for years and then come after you now?”
“For two years, the five of us fumbled our way around trying to build something of our own. Alex came up with the Denver Kings. We aren’t a gang or anything, we're a family. We sell firearms on the black market and use our moving companies as a front to transport or load across state lines. We’ve never dabbled in the skin trade or drugs not after…” He claps his mouth closed.
“Ellie,” I say for him.
He nods stiffly. “For two years we built our empire from the ground up. Alex has always been our leader but more than that, he’s a brother and Ellie, she was our girl. The only woman we would ever let into our sanctuary. Alex’s parents wouldn’t let him stay in their house. We got our own place and Ellie spent every minute she could with us. Pope and Vatican fell in love with her. I thought Alex would kill them but to my surprise, he just said if she felt the same about them then he wouldn’t stand in their way. All he wanted was to see her happy and for a while she was. Pope and Vat made her smile every single day, she was their sunshine from the darkness they were raised in.”
“It sounds like you guys really loved her,” I whisper, feeling my heart ache for the girl who’s life was stolen from her.
“We did. But, Alex loved her more. He told us he wanted to use the arms deals as a temporary solution until we could go legit.” That revelation floors me. “He wanted to start investing and build a legal empire that he could leave to his sister one day, and we all agreed because we loved her. His lust for blood vanished when we came back here and Ellie was around. He didn’t crave the kill anymore, he was just… Alex. The Butcher was no more until three years ago.”
I exhale slowly and drop my gaze to the grass. “That's when she died, isn’t it?”
“She didn’t die, Tatum, she was murdered!” I flinch at his harsh tone. “That night, when Alex got the call and saw her lying there, he died right beside her. The Butcher was reborn that night. His thirst and hunger for the blood of his victims tripled, he was uncontrollable. We were forced to clean up his mess so Desire wouldn’t find out. Anyone that was at that party that night is dead… all except one.” I choke on my spit.
“He slaughtered all of them?” I whisper in horror.
“Every single fucking one,” he says without remorse.
“The killing only stopped when he was framed for the murders of three women. We all knew he was innocent but we couldn’t prove it. We thought we had lost Alex, he wouldn’t let any of us visit him while he was inside. He told us to forget about him and live our lives. How the fuck could we have done that when he was the one who gave us our freedom?” I nod, understanding their reasoning. “Our hope was lost until Vivian Tempest showed up and changed everything.”
“She got him out.”
“Yeah. It goes to show what a fair trial someone can have if the judge isn’t being paid off by a scumbag,” he sneers.
“I had no idea Thomas did that, Omen. I swear.”
He nods. “It’s because we believe you that you’re still breathing, Tate.” I turn rigid. “If for a single second we thought you had anything to do with taking our brother from us, we would have killed you and sent you back to your father in pieces.”
“Noted,” I rasp out.
“When Alex got out, his vengeance was at an all-time high. We made sure that everyone inside that prison knew exactly who Alexander Denver was, his reputation as the Butcher is what kept him from getting into trouble while he was in there. Not having an outlet for his aggression caused him to come out hungrier than I’ve ever seen him. He’s been fixated on Thomas and Nexus for months, we thought the old Alex was dead to us.”
“What do you mean?”
“None of us have seen a hint of the old Alex since Ellie died, but that all changed about four months ago.”
“I’m not following.”
“You may be their blood but he forgot about that after a couple of months watching you, his focus shifted from them to you. He could have flown to Panama and paid off the guards so he could kill Thomas, but he refused to be away from you.” My eyes bug out of my head.
“I didn’t even know who he was!”
He shrugs. “Since you came into his life, he’s starting to change and he doesn’t know how to deal with that.”
“Why?”
“For three years he has harbored this hate inside him and the need to destroy anyone who has wronged him. He hates that you're making him feel again, because the last person who made him feel a shred of anything was torn away from him way too soon and he won’t survive losing another person he loves.”