Chapter 35
Alexander
I knew she would be angry and hurt but I didn’t think she would downright hate me. She refuses to even look in my direction. She seems to have no problem forgiving Omen for leaving her or even the others. The only one she is giving attitude toward is Carnage, but it seems like that is their brand of friendship.
“What’s your plan here, brother?” Omen asks as he claims the seat opposite me on the plane.
I scrub a hand down my face and sigh tiredly. For six months I have done nothing but work my ass off to become a man she could be proud of and be safe with, but I’m starting to think that it was all for nothing.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
“I told you she would be pissed.”
I shoot him a glare. “You think you know her better than me?” I grit out.
He shakes his head. “Never said that,” he defends.
“She hates me,” I utter brokenly.
He scoffs. “If she hated you, she would have fought to not be on this plane right now. That girl loves you, Alex, but you have to see that you hurt her. Every person who has meant something to her has left her behind.”
I frown. “I didn’t leave her?—”
“Thomas didn’t want her. Her mother left. Nexus used her. She fell in love with you, and formed a partnership with the Vatel family in order to save you. She even got the Filthy Few to put on their masks, even with the threat of the CIA coming after them if they wore those things again. She risked it all for you and you left.”
“You know why I did it,” I snarl.
“We all told you it was a bad idea. You wouldn’t listen and now the great Alexander Denver is going to have to learn how to grovel and kiss ass, because that girl isn’t going to forgive you easily.” He stands and rejoins Tatum and the others at the front of the plane, leaving me here to mull over his words. I know what he says is true, but I needed to fix the wrongs of my past before I could embrace my future with her. Make no fucking mistake, Tatum Lawson is a part of my future whether she likes it or not.
I’ll make her see this big bad wolf will blow down all her walls until I’m the only thing left standing in her life.
* * *
When we arrive at the ranch, Tate laughs but there's no humor to it. “Oh, would you look at that, someone's home this time,” she snarks. Omen remains silent and follows her out of the car. I knew she would come looking for us, so for the first three months after we left I asked the guys to stay away from here. I knew if she found one of them she would have latched onto them and never left. I follow them all into the main house. Vatican and Halo both place her bags by the back door. Tatum scoffs, then places her hands on her hips. She turns around and my breath hitches for a second until I realize she’s only looking this way because Omen is standing beside me.
“I’m not staying with him . Can I sleep in your room?”
Before he can answer, I shift forward and stand in front of her. She cranes her neck back and meets me with a hardened stare, her blues a storm of emotions. “I warned you?—”
“Your warnings mean shit to me. You said not to go to a club and shake my ass to make you jealous, this is me showing you I don’t give a fuck about what you want, Alex. I’m here because I didn’t have a choice. There was no way I was going to let you hurt Dawson.”
My jaw locks as I close the sliver of space between us. A shiver works its way through her from my close proximity. “Say his name again and see?—”
“Dawson,” she purrs the fuckers name and smirks. Without any warning I bend and toss her spiteful ass over my shoulder. She kicks and screams but the guys do nothing. Vatican shoves the back door open for me.
“Bye, Tate.”
“Fuck you, Carnage!” she screams and I step outside and stalk toward my house. “You better be ready to cuff my ass to your bed because I’m running the first chance I get.”
“I’ll chase you and when I catch you, you and I both know what’ll happen, Tatum.” She clamps her mouth closed and remains silent. When I enter my house I stalk toward the bed and toss her onto it. She squeals and bounces up and down. I can’t stop myself from staring at her tits and black triangle swim top. My mouth waters with need to taste her.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she scolds as she scurries off the bed. She straightens her top and pats down her denim shorts. My gaze snags on the tattoo across her collarbone again. I reach out and trace the tip of my finger over it. She begins to tremble but doesn’t push me away.
I read aloud. “4221 A.D.” She darts her tongue out to moisten her lips, her eyes begin to fill with tears and I hate the look of pain etched into her beautiful face. “What does it mean?”
She swallows then blows out a breath. “I got it after I was released from the hospital.” I close my eyes and force myself to remain calm and meet her stare again. “I… I needed to keep a piece of you with me,” she admits as her first tear falls. I reach out and cup her cheek but she pushes my hand away. “I was left with a fucking tattoo because the real thing wasn’t there. I was alone and terrified and all I wanted was you. I’ve never had a person before and I let you be that for me. I fucking let you mean something to me.” Agony is etched into her words and it kills me to know I’m the cause of her pain.
“What does it mean, Tatum?” I push.
“4221 means forever together to love one another. It was something Nova taught me. I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure out what A.D. stands for,” she spits the last part. then shoulders past me. I swivel around and reach for her but she leaps out of reach. “I’m going for a shower and your ass is going to stay right here. I mean it, Alex. I’m not falling back into bed with you. I’ll bide my time here until spring break is over and then I’m going back to school… alone .”
I don’t stop her. The urge to kick the door and ignore her plea is strong, especially when I hear her crying, but I respect her enough to let her deal with all of this on her own time. I set out some clothes for her on the bed. When she steps out of the bathroom, I nearly die from the sudden loss of blood that raced to my dick.
“Bambi,” I growl in pain. She just scoffs and saunters toward the bed naked! I bite down on my fist and whimper. When she bends over and flashes me her pussy, I nearly cum in my fucking jeans. If I stand here a second longer, I’ll lose control, throw her on the bed and fuck the anger out of her until she forgives me. I storm into the bathroom and slam the door closed. The sound of her laughter has me grinding my teeth to the point of pain and my hand itching to spank her ass for being such a defiant little shit.
My shower is ice fucking cold, that’s nothing new to me at this point. Every time I think about her I get hard, it’s fucking frustrating. It was so much easier to manage my urges when she wasn’t standing naked in the next room. I step out of the bathroom and head straight for my drawers. I pull on a pair of sweats and snatch a shirt, then tug it on. When I turn around and see the place is empty I lose it and race out of the house. I head toward the main house but slam to a halt. I slowly swivel toward the pasture and know where she is. I sprint through the long grass. The closer I get, the more sure I am that she’s out here. I spot her sitting beneath the lone tree and all the panic drains from me at the sight of her safe and unscathed.
She doesn’t turn to face me or even acknowledge my presence. My chest is burning from exertion, my breathing is rugged from sexual need and from fucking running fast enough to rival Usain Bolt.
“You once told me this was her favorite place,” she says quietly. I sigh and sit down beside her, leaving an inch of space between us. I bend my knee and rest my arm over the top of it, staring out at the nothingness in front of me. The stars are shining so bright tonight. “You also told me she was your breaking point.” I nod, feeling her gaze on me but unable to look at her. “I told you I couldn’t compete with a ghost, Alex, and I meant it.” I close my eyes and breathe through the pain in my chest. “I envy the way you love your sister. If my brother loved me even a fraction of the amount you love Ellie, I wouldn’t be here right now.” I snap my head toward her and stare into her eyes, hating the grief I see in them.
“I would have found you regardless of how he felt about you, Bambi. There isn’t a place in this world you could hide from me.”
“I hid out at CHU for months without you knowing.”
I smirk which has her frowning. “Did you ever ask Vox who paid for your tuition and single dorm?” Her eyes widen and her jaw unhinges.
“What?” she shrieks.
“Baby, I knew where you were this whole time. I made sure you would be somewhere safe while I finished what I started. I left you, Tatum, because I wasn’t good enough for you then.”
“And what? You think you are now because so much time has passed?”
“I told you loving me would be like loving time, you would never know how long you had. I didn’t want my hour glass to run out before I got to experience life with you.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Five years ago I bought the freedom of me and my brothers from the De Santis Cosa Nostra. I thought we were invincible. We built the Denver Kings and were making something of ourselves until two years later I lost my light. My world turned dark. I was sent to prison for the murders I didn’t commit, thanks to Thomas. I thought my life was over until Vivian helped me get my freedom. I was angry. I thirsted for vengeance and I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I avenged my sister. She became my breaking point.”
Tatum nods sadly. “I know. She’s the center of your world.”
I shake my head and reach out to cup her cheek. She nestles her face into my hand, needing the comfort I offer. “She was.” Her brows furrow. “My world was dark and lonely. I had one mission, get justice for Elenor, but then a blonde haired cyclone came into my life and flipped everything upside down. I didn’t know it until it was too late, but Ellie wasn’t my only weakness. You are my greatest strength and weakness, Bambi. Seeing you chained up…” I clamp my mouth closed and force myself to breathe through the anger. “I couldn’t save you.”
“I didn’t need to be saved, I just needed you to know I would risk it all for you. I had a plan and I just needed you to trust me to save us both.”
“And you did.”
She shakes her head. “No, I still lost. You won your war, you got your vengeance but it cost you me.”
She pulls back and I stare at her with fear thrumming through me. “Bambi, please don’t turn your back on me. I can’t let you go?—”
“Why?” she screams and climbs to her feet. I mimic her move and stare down at her. “I can’t trust you, Alex. You hurt me.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. Do you know what it's like to not be able to breathe daily because your heart wants to give up? You didn’t just break my heart, you obliterated it. You fucking destroyed me worse than Ray ever could have.”
I recoil. “I’m nothing like your foster father.”
“You hurt me, maybe not in the same way he did, but you still hurt me.”
“I left you so I could do all of this!” I say and wave my arms around me.
“Do what?”
“I gave up everything. I no longer run the Denver Kings. I handed everything over to the guys. I made a deal of my own with CJ.”
Disbelief is clear in her eyes. “What deal?”
“The Denver Kings get the firearms. I bought into the hotels CJ owns. You own five percent, the guys own fifteen, CJ owns fifty percent and I own the rest. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make a life with you if I was still The Butcher. I couldn’t stomach the thought of you hating the sight of me coming home drenched in someone's blood, so I gave it all up. I did all of this for you!” I roar.