Chapter 29 Wesson
Wesson
I fucked up. I knew making a deal with the demon would cost me, but I didn’t realize exactly how much.
I’d been so ready to sacrifice myself to save them, I didn’t count on them doing the same to save me.
Atlas, sure. He’d run through hell if it meant finding me on the other side.
But Marta? I expected her to be the voice of reason.
I expected her to read the cards on the table, take her chips, and yank my brother out of there.
I didn’t think they’d burn it all down to make sure I left with them.
I was thankful, infinitely so, but now the shame ate away at me like a sculptor chiseling away at marble. Something wasn’t right in me, in us, and it was my fault.
The Harlots kept us isolated for three days afterward, someone always on guard in my room to make sure we didn’t see each other. But on the fourth day, we were brought before the rest of the warriors to stand judgment.
Technically, the warriors were an extension of the Harlots.
Lilith and her council reigned supreme, and their choices shaped how the warriors operated.
But that didn’t mean we weren’t an entity in our own right.
In the end, the warriors had decided to let the chips fall where they may.
Leander reiterated that we would be watched, that we would need to play by the rules or face the consequences.
We agreed, of course, but it didn’t change how I felt on the inside.
My broken soul had followed me out of the liminal, and if I stuck around, I would bring everyone down with me.
I’d given up more than my free will when I let that demon possess me.
Atlas and Marta thought they’d banished it, but something still wasn’t right.
That monster, that darkness inside me, slithered around my chest like a hookworm, battering against the farthest recesses of my mind, wrapping its clawed fingers around the bars of its cage and shaking the confines of my control.
Eventually, it would overpower me, and I didn’t know what would happen when it did.
I have to get out of here.
I’d never felt that impulse as strongly as I did while walking back to the estate. We went through the motions. We ate dinner with the rest of the warriors and the Harlots, celebrating our safe retrieval and a return to normalcy.
It will never be normal again.
Marta emerged from the crowd and rushed toward us, wrapping her arms around Atlas first before doing the same to me. The connection between us sizzled at the proximity, reminiscent of how it felt after the rituals, but now… more. Different. Intense.
After the party ended and most of the others dispersed, I disappeared into my room alone and quietly shut the door, knowing tonight would have to be the night.
Sitting on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands, I realized I couldn’t stay here any longer.
I could put them in more danger by waiting around to see what would happen.
The separation would hurt, but we’d survived worse. They’d survived worse, and they deserved better.
I sensed my brother coming closer before the door to my room opened, and he stepped through.
“Atlas,” I said, my heart twisting at the sight of him in sweat pants and a black T-shirt.
After everything that happened, I only found him more beautiful.
Now that we were on the other side, the human side, perhaps I should have felt ashamed of my attraction to him.
What happened in the liminal had definitely not stayed in the liminal.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “Where’s—”
“We haven’t had a chance to catch up since we got out,” he said, crossing his arms as he came to stand in front of me.
His biceps bulged under his shirt, and I ignored the twist of heat in my gut at the sight.
We may have told the others how deeply we were connected, but we hadn’t shared everything with the rest of the class.
They didn’t know what transpired between Atlas and me.
It wasn’t their business. “I should beat your ass for leaving Marta and me that night in the church.”
I sighed, perhaps knowing this was coming, and forced my tired muscles to stand.
Whatever we’d done to get out of there had amplified the bond, and now, I didn’t know where I ended and Atlas began. In many ways, our lives had always been like this, more extensions of each other than separate beings. The magic had only made it physical instead of metaphorical.
It was the first time we’d been alone together since we got out, and the sudden pang of what I’d done echoed in my chest like the world’s loudest tuning fork.
“Atlas, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“I could fucking clock you right now, you know that?” He scoffed and shook his head. “But I love you too damned much, and I’m just so fucking happy to see you.”
I couldn’t stand the separation anymore.
I rushed to him and threw my arms around his neck, yanking him closer.
He returned my hug, squeezing our chests together, tucking his face into my neck.
The warmth of his body soothed some of the ache in my heart, and when I sensed our witch getting closer, I glanced up at the door just as it opened.
Marta stepped through, her gaze shifting between the two of us before she launched at our embrace. I wrapped an arm around her as hers came to my hips, and together, the three of us took our first collective deep breath since coming home.
“You’re such a fucking idiot,” she said when she stepped back. Her dainty hands balled into fists, and she shoved my chest, knocking me back a step. “I could kill you.”
“I know.” I hung my head. “I thought I was saving you. I thought you’d both get out if it weren’t for the demon.”
“We had a plan,” she snarled, trying to keep her voice low. “We were going to get out anyway.”
“You didn’t know that,” I admitted. “It was going to tear the place apart with us inside it.”
“I had it under control,” she said, but even as the words infiltrated the space between us, I tasted the lie in them. None of us had control. We were puppets, toys, entertainment for a nasty soul that had ripped its way out of hell and refused to go back.
“What happens next?” Atlas asked. “We’re under the microscope, but if I have to be apart from you two again, I’ll fucking lose it.”
“Me, too,” Marta said. “I think whatever I did in the church has made the bond—”
“Unbearable,” I finished for her. What I didn’t say, what I couldn’t say, was that I still felt it inside me.
When the demon took hold, when I finally gave myself over, it settled in my soul like a permanent brand, fiery and cold, stinging and scalding.
I would never be able to get rid of it entirely, and I worried about what that would mean for them.
How much did the rituals truly connect us?
Were they in danger because of what I did, what I’d become?
“We made our choice, and now we live with it,” Marta said. “It will be a while before we fully understand the consequences.”
“What happens in the liminal stays in the liminal,” Atlas said.
“Let’s hope it’s that easy.” Marta rubbed her hands over her face and back through her hair. “All I know is I’ve been itching since we’ve been home. Being with you, being here, this is the first time I’ve been able to breathe.”
“Same here,” Atlas said. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into his body for another long hug, pressing his lips against her forehead and inhaling her deeply.
And suddenly, I felt like an intruder on their intimate moment.
My mind conjured images of me in Marta’s bed, Atlas standing at the edge with his hands on his hips, unsure if he should join us.
I didn’t remember anything about what happened after the demon took hold of me.
One second, I was standing outside, making the deal, and the next, I was on the ground, writhing and burning as the world spun around us.
I’d awoken to the worst pain I’d ever experienced while Atlas screamed and Marta exploded with bright white magic. Then, we were in the veil.
Marta and Atlas explained the highlights to me. The demon had tried to battle Marta, and Atlas knocked it out. They dragged me into a demon trap and banished it, but doing so had cost her.
She had to give up a piece of her soul to do it.
But that didn’t seem like the end of the story. Something was missing in me, too.
“Come on,” Marta said, nodding to the bed. She grabbed my hand with her free one and tugged both of us over to the mattress. She slid into the middle while Atlas circled to the other side, and I climbed in behind her.
We lay like that for a few moments, listening to the sounds of each other’s breathing, and I debated with myself about whether I should tell them the truth. But in the end, how could I keep it from them? They deserved to know.
“There’s something wrong with me,” I admitted. Both Atlas and Marta turned to face me. “I think…I think the demon’s still inside me.”
“No,” Marta said. “I banished it.”
“I feel rotten,” I continued. “It still burns.”
“It’s the liminal,” Atlas explained. “I feel it, too. Whatever we did in that church fucked us up.”
“I’m empty,” Marta said, glancing down as she interlaced her hands with mine. “I know I banished Asmodeus because a piece of me is missing. Wes, we all feel it.”
Not like this, I wanted to say. I’d been corrupted. Couldn’t they see that? Couldn’t they sense it?
“I think we all need a distraction tonight. We can figure it out tomorrow.” Marta grabbed my hand and brought it to her mouth.
She sucked my index finger in between her lips and rolled her tongue along the pad, sending a sharp strike of pleasure straight down to my balls.
Atlas watched with rapt attention, his emerald eyes glittering in the moonlight.
This was the first time the three of us had been together. Alone. Without the haze of ritual and magic clouding our minds.