Chapter 34
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
RYAN
We’ve eaten, and Adam is being put to bed, although Grover has to carry him to his room because he’s exhausted, and I would say he had every right to be. He told me, animatedly and excitedly, all about his adventures at the arcade.
It sounds like a long day, but at the same time, it’s something that I haven’t really been able to give him in the past. The most I’ve been able to do is give him twenty dollars in gameplay and maybe a round of bowling. Not much more, but Grover was able to give him an entire day.
Standing at Adam’s doorway, I watch as Grover tucks him in and wonder how this life is going to turn out. I want so much for this to be perfect. For him to confess his love for me, to ask me to marry him and to live happily ever after.
For the past six years, finding even a modicum of happiness has seemed like an impossible feat, and yet it’s within my grasp now. I can’t believe this is possible, that everything is at my fingertips, and I’m still afraid that one wrong move is going to ruin it all.
Grover turns toward me, his eyes finding mine, and he grins as he closes the distance between us. I make a move to shift out of the way, but he doesn’t allow it. He wraps his fingers around my waist, dipping his chin before he brushes his lips across mine.
“Let’s go to bed, legs.”
I don’t argue.
Grover quietly closes the bedroom door behind him, wrapping his hand around mine as he turns toward the primary bedroom. His grasp is tight as he guides me down the hall.
He takes a step inside, and I close the door behind me, pushing the lock button. Grover releases his grasp on my hand and turns to face me, taking a few steps backward. His eyes find mine, and he holds my gaze, jerking his chin up slightly.
“What do you want, Ryan?”
It sounds like a trick question. Except I know the answer to it. “You, Grover.”
His entire body jolts. I watch it, almost as if he completely comes off the ground. His eyes sparkle, his nostrils flare and his lips turn up. The skin at the sides of his eyes crinkle. He watches me. He looks like he’s about to pounce.
“There it is,” he murmurs.
“What?” I ask on a whisper.
I can’t take my eyes off him. I don’t know if I ever will again, He looks beautiful, just like he always has. I don’t understand how men grow sexier with age, but this one certainly has. As if he knows that I’m ogling him, he gives me a sexy wink.
“Me?” he asks. “For an hour, a day, a year?”
“A lifetime.”
His eyes scan down my body, then slowly slide back up. I feel as if he’s touching every inch of me when he does this. My breath hitches, and I bite the inside of my cheek as I wait for him to issue whatever his next demand is.
And whatever it is, I plan on doing it.
“Beg me, legs.”
He knows that I’ve always been far too proud to ever beg for anything. Maybe it’s because when I was little, I was forced to beg for everything. I’m not sure, but if that’s what he wants, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.
Sinking down to my knees, I lean over and place my palms on the carpeted floor. On all fours, I slowly crawl toward him. I watch as his eyes widen and his nostrils flare. Stopping in front of him, I sit back on my calves and tilt my head to look up at him.
“Please, Grover.”
His tongue peeks out for just a moment as he wets his bottom lip, and then he brings it back inside of his mouth.
“Please what?” he asks.
“I want you for a lifetime.”
We stare at one another for a moment, and then I reach up and begin to unbuckle his pants, unzipping them before I guide them down his legs. I sink my teeth into the corner of my bottom lip. My eyes are focused on his, unable to look away from his gaze.
Grover lifts his hand, cupping my cheek for a moment before he slides his fingers through the hair at the side of my head, then around to the back, gripping the strands there as his gaze searches mine.
“You have me, legs. For fucking ever.”
He grips my hair tighter and sinks down to his knees in front of me. Then he lifts his other hand, grasping my cheek as he leans forward. His mouth slams against mine, and he kisses me hard. It’s owning and perfect in every way.
My whole body jerks, goose bumps break out over all of my flesh, and tingles slide down my spine. When he lifts his face from mine, he doesn’t shift back from me. Instead, he stays close, so close that I can smell him.
“Grover,” I exhale.
I wrap my fingers around his length and gently stroke him. He grunts, thrusting his hips forward. His fingers in my hair tighten as he looks down at me. He breathes heavily, and I welcome his exhales washing across my face.
“Legs,” he groans. “You feel so good.”
“Grover,” I breathe.
Then, as if saying his name has flipped a switch inside of him, he jerks his hips away from my hand. He releases my hair and reaches down, gripping the backs of my thighs before he tugs them forward. I fall back against the soft carpeted floor.
Before I realize what’s happening, he buries himself deep inside of me, his hand returning to the back of my hair, gripping me tightly there as he looks into my eyes.
“Say it again, legs,” he murmurs.
“What?”
He grins, flexing his hips and pushing himself a touch deeper inside of me. “My name.”
“Grover,” I repeat.
Then he pulls almost completely out of me before sliding back inside. His chin is tipped, his breath heavy as he moves above me. He grips my hair even tighter, sweat beading on his forehead. He’s still dressed, his pants around his knees, but it’s perfect.
“Again,” he demands.
I say his name again. And again. On each downstroke, I say his name. It turns into a chant. Next, it turns into a mewl that then turns into a whimper as my orgasm consumes me. It rushes throughout my entire body as I come.
“Fuck,” he growls. “I fucking love you, Ryan. Every goddamn piece of you.”
His mouth slams against mine. He kisses me almost brutally.
My life is complete. My world is at peace.
And for the first time ever, I’m irrevocably…
happy. If I died tomorrow, I would, without a doubt, be at peace with this moment.
But I don’t want to die tomorrow. I have a whole lot to look forward to with this life, and I am ready to live.
ATOMIC
Ryan sleeps against my chest, and again, I know that this is the way it was always meant to be for us.
She was always meant to be for me. My anger, my doubt, has completely vanished.
I’m not sure if it’s because I talked with Nash.
I don’t know if I finally just let all that shit go or what, but I’m also not going to question it because this feels good and right.
This feels like heaven and home all at the same time.
It’s exactly where I’ve never realized I need to be and where I never want to leave.
“Your heart is beating quickly,” Ryan whispers.
I hadn’t realized she was awake, let alone that my heart was rapidly racing. But indeed, it fucking is. Sliding my fingers up her spine, I tangle them in her hair and gently tug her head back so I can look into her eyes.
“I was thinking about you,” I murmur.
Her lips curve up into a smile. She leans forward to touch her mouth to the underside of my jaw before she lifts her hand, her fingernails scratching at the other side of my jaw where my beard is.
I feel her nails against my skin, and I can’t help but want to feel them sliding down my back, too, making marks on my flesh.
Marking me as hers.
Because I am just that.
Hers.
And she is mine.
“We’ll get married in a month. And when you change your name, Adam’ll have his name changed as well and his birth certificate amended.”
“Grover?” she asks.
I don’t know why the fuck she would ask a thing because Adam is not a Turner. He is all Hughes, and I think he’s gone five years too long without his real name, without his real identity. I am going to claim them both because they’re mine.
“You’re both Hughes. Adam by birth, and you by choice. It’s time to make it official.”
Wetness pools in her eyes. I don’t wipe it away but instead, watch as the tears slide down her cheeks. Leaning forward, I touch my mouth to hers, not deepening the kiss. I shift my face backward and give her a smile as I look down at her, never wanting to look away from her gaze again.
“I hate that we lost six years,” she exhales.
I hum. “I don’t, legs. Fate is meant to happen the way it happens. And I think we both needed the space. Me to appreciate who and what you are. To appreciate what we have and being a father—”
She interrupts me, and I suck in a breath, holding it as she says the words I wasn’t expecting but fucking love. “And me to appreciate you, Grover. Because I do, and not just for all of this, but because you are exactly what I need, and even more so, exactly what I want.”
Fuck me.
I cannot breathe. Touching my mouth to hers, I have to shut her ass up, so I kiss her.
My tongue slides inside of her, and I make that kiss long, wet, and consuming.
And then I fuck her again before we both pass out from exhaustion.
I can’t keep going like this. I’m not thirty anymore, but this woman makes me feel like I’m goddamn invincible.
This life of ours is going to make for a wild ride, and I am fucking here for it.
Until the day I die.