Chapter 19 #2
And how messed up is that?
‘Taylor?’
I lick my lips, knowing I can’t tell him. Not tonight. Not with Lottie between us. Not with my heart on fire like this. But…
‘I think we’re going to have to come clean with Sadie and Theo.’
His eyes blow wide, like I’ve just suggested streaking through Central London.
‘You want to tell them about the baby arrangement?’
‘No— God, no. They’ll be horrified.’
His fingers tense against my skin, his eyes flinching – shit, that came out wrong.
‘Not about us being parents,’ I hasten to add. ‘I’m talking about the contract, and us agreeing to…’ I swallow hard. ‘With no future.’
His gaze doesn’t ease. ‘So what are you saying?’
‘I’m saying…’ My lips part, close, then open again. I have no idea how to put it, but I’m done being blasé about it. This isn’t clean, it isn’t simple, it isn’t devoid of feeling, and maybe that’s truth enough. ‘This feels like more than just making a baby…’
I hold my breath, let my words sink in, eyes raking over his face for any sign I’ve freaked him out more. But all he says is, ‘I’m listening…’
Listening? This isn’t an episode of bloody Frasier!
I want him to be speaking, telling me how he feels, giving me some reassurance that I’m not on my own here.
He’s learned how to hold me, how to show up with his hands and his thoughtful gestures, but when it comes to words… expressing how he feels, what he wants outside of the bedroom, he’s a closed book.
‘What I mean is, it’s not just about the deal any more, not for me.’
‘It ain’t?’
‘No.’ I take a breath and let my truth flow with it. ‘I like being with you, Ax. I want to be with you. I want to see whether this can have a future. Me and you.’
For a terrifying moment, he doesn’t move.
Then his mouth curves, his eyes sparking. ‘Are you asking me out, Baby Girl?’
My pulse spikes, panic flaring. But he isn’t running, and I’m done hiding from it.
‘Would you say yes,’ I ask, voice barely steady, ‘if I was?’
His hand slides into my hair. ‘What do you think?’
Hope takes off like a living, breathing thing inside me. ‘Y-yes?’
He nods once. ‘Though I think hell just froze over.’
I let out a shaky laugh. ‘Oh yeah?’
‘Taylor Stone just agreed to be outed as someone’s girl.’
‘Please,’ I scoff, though the sound is anything but light. ‘What about you? Mr I-don’t-do-relationships?’
His grin spreads – cocky, warm, and so damn tender, I can’t breathe. ‘Stranger things have happened.’
‘You reckon?’
‘Nah…’
My laugh catches in my throat as his fingers skim the edge of my sweater, tracing the line of my exposed bra strap.
‘You know…’ he murmurs, voice dropping into that gravelly tone that melts me from the inside out. ‘If it weren’t for Trouble here, I’d be showing you exactly how much I want to make you officially mine. Right now.’
Heat zips through me, my entire body prickling with awareness even though he hasn’t so much as touched me with intent yet.
Damn Mother Nature, and her God-awful timing.
‘You’d struggle,’ I tell him. ‘Time of the month, remember.’
‘You think that’s gonna stop me?’
A shiver shoots down my spine. ‘Ax—’
‘Get the shower going, Baby Girl. I’ll get her settled and be there in five…’
Axel
I watch her go, head and heart racing. Did that just happen?
Did we just agree to be a thing? An actual, out-in-the-open thing?
Taylor. Mine. Willingly. Not just behind closed doors.
She hasn’t said she loves me – but she has asked for this.
Is it the pressure of Theo and her sister catching on? The pull of doing what feels good right now? Or have her feelings towards me changed?
The shower kicks on down the hall, slicing through my thoughts, and I smile.
Good girl.
Because whatever this is, it gives me more of her. And I don’t have it in me to put the brakes on that. Not any more.
I came here tonight wanting more – fully aware I’d never ask it of her. And she handed me the whole damn package anyway. Whether it’s smart or reckless, temporary or permanent, I’m in.
Until she decides otherwise, I’m all in.
I scoop Lottie up, easing her sleeping weight into my arms. She barely stirs as I carry her to the guest room. She’s already in fresh pyjamas, teeth brushed, face washed. The only reason she’s not in bed yet is because she refused a book and begged for another movie instead.
Probably bad parenting, letting her fall asleep like that. But hey, she ain’t ours.
We get to be the cool aunt and uncle. The ones who hand her back.
If she were ours—
The thought snags. Hard.
Me. A dad. Taylor. A kid. A family.
I brace for the panic. The knee-jerk refusal.
But it doesn’t come.
That’s when I know I’m not just in deep; I’m ready. Ready for her, for a child, for a future I never dared hope for.
And maybe it’s time I told her the truth. Told her how I’ve felt all along.
But it feels too much, too soon. And I fear it’ll send her running.
I’ve had years to come to terms with how I feel. Years to understand it. She’s had months at best. And she hasn’t exactly told me how she feels, just that it feels like more. Which means she’s still wrestling with it herself.
And then there’s the bigger truth: that I said yes to her baby plan feeling the way I do. Making it about sex when it was about so much more.
And fuck knows how she’ll take it.
It could end everything. Not just us, but the plan too.
And I can’t risk that. I won’t risk that.
I tuck Lottie in, kiss her forehead like the doting uncle I am, and head back down the hall. I’m already stripping my clothes as I go.
By the time I reach the bathroom, I’m as naked as she is beneath the spray. Water streams down her back, her dark hair slicked to her skin, her scent in the steam that fills the room…
My God, she’s beautiful. And she’s mine – for real this time.
‘You just going to stand there?’ she teases over her shoulder.
And I grin and step in, all thought giving way to sensation as I slide my hands along her damp skin and draw her back against my chest. She melts into me, soft where I’m hard, warm where I’m burning.
‘God, I missed you,’ I breathe into the curve of her neck.
‘I’ve only been gone a few minutes.’
I nip her skin and she gasps. ‘You know what I mean,’ I growl. ‘Two weeks was too long.’
Twenty-five years has been an eternity…
Her breath hitches as I cup her breast, my other hand smoothing lower – she tenses. ‘Watch out, I’m—’
‘On, I know,’ I say over her. ‘And I thought I made it clear – I don’t care.’
She shudders as my fingers slip between her slick-hot folds, her head falling back against my chest with a whimper.
‘Sounds like you don’t care either.’
Her head shakes. Her body trembles.
I chuckle, low and slow. ‘That’s my girl.’
And she is.
For fucking real.
The thought fires through me again as I pinch and roll her nipple, circle her swollen clit, glorying in everything she gives me. Every buck, every moan, every panted breath.
‘Oh— that feels so good,’ she rasps.
‘You feel so good.’ I’m heading to the edge with her, my cock pressing hard between our bodies. ‘Did you miss me, Baby Girl?’
I don’t know why I need to hear it.
I just do.
I want the words from her lips.
Crave them like I crave her.
‘Yes!’ She threads her fingers through my hair. ‘So much!’
And whatever’s been holding tight within me finally releases.
‘If this is how you’ll be, maybe I should go away more often.’
‘No.’ She turns into me lightning quick. ‘That won’t do.’
Her mouth crashes into mine as she wraps her legs around me, and I press her back into the tile. Find her heat and sink in deep. Every frenzied thrust sends her body up the wall as I lose myself in it, in her, in claiming her for real.
‘Yes, God yes,’ she pants. ‘Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t—’
She comes apart, her walls clenching around me, and I give myself over to it. Body jerking. Mind rolling. Heart beating wild in my chest.
‘You’re mine, Baby Girl,’ I growl, easing out and driving back in, unwilling to let her go just yet.
Unwilling to let her go, ever.
She looks up at me, wrecked and glowing, water clinging to her lashes.
‘Yeah,’ she murmurs. ‘I know.’
‘Damn right you do.’
Because for the first time since this whole thing started, I ain’t negotiating. I ain’t compartmentalising. I ain’t pretending I only want a part of her.
I want it all: Taylor, the baby, the future.
As for the contract?
It dies here.