Chapter 10
S hit.
Alba was going to have to tell Zainab she was right twice. She really did hate that. Though, she supposed it came with the territory of being… optimistic as she was. She’d really thought spending a bit of actual time around Neve would help her prove the crush was nothing to worry about. It would just go away once the thrill of meeting and running into each other unexpectedly disappeared. And, yes, maybe the middle of the night wasn’t the best time to initiate that, but it wasn’t the worst.
Her arm, which was wrapped around Neve’s body, and her hand, caught between Neve’s arms, burned like a warning, like a heated reminder that maybe the middle of the night was the worst time after all.
But it hadn’t felt like that. It had felt perfect—no walls, no worrying, no pretenses. Neve in her pajamas, Alba a mess from a night out. Just the two of them and the quiet world. And Neve had been funny. Shy, a little bashful and awkward, but funny. The kind of funny someone wasn’t working for, it just came out, even when they weren’t trying. It was Alba’s favorite kind of funny.
And then there was the way she smiled when Alba amused her. That wide, hypnotic smile and the way it crinkled her blue eyes. And Alba was really trying just to be friends with her, but now, here she was, woken too early for their late night—she really was getting too old for staying up until 5 AM—and wrapped around Neve, desperately fighting against the thought that this was nice.
Or, it would be if she weren’t feeling so guilty. Though, most of that guilt was probably precipitated by the sounds of Charlie and Alice moving around the apartment. Alice didn’t bother her too much. Well, neither did Charlie, but Alba knew Charlie didn’t like her, and she imagined her current position wouldn’t be winning her any points, and she didn’t want to cause problems for Neve.
Plus, there was the look Zainab was going to give her when she got home. There had been a few last night, too, but everything had felt a little less real in the middle of the night. A little more exciting and a little less dangerous.
Though, so long as she was only hurting herself, what was really the problem?
Someone in the kitchen dropped a pan, the clang echoing through the apartment. Alba didn’t think she’d ever been in an apartment with two floors before and was surprised by how much the sound traveled.
Even asleep, it penetrated Neve’s dreams and she moved restlessly.
Taking the moment of freedom, Alba pulled her arm back. They were sharing a bed, and not an especially large one, so being close together was inevitable, but Neve waking up to find Alba wrapped around her would probably be more than she was looking for, more than she would be comfortable with.
Alba’s arm was so warm from Neve’s body heat. It set something aching inside of her.
She enjoyed dating, and had done plenty of it, but it never went anywhere. A few weeks, a couple of months, nothing serious. She’d liked them all plenty, but there was always something missing. Neve’s body heat against her arm felt like it filled the gaping hole in all of her relationships. A physical intimacy that was unlike the kind she’d shared with other people.
Neve stirred before Alba could get too deep in her feelings. She was kind of grateful. Never a fun time to be had getting lost in feelings she had no time or space to be dealing with.
It was still too early, really, for either of them to be awake. Totally fine by most people’s standards—a little late even, but they’d only been asleep a few hours.
Neve rolled over, bringing their faces close together, and blinked her eyes open. She gasped, jumping away faster than Alba could consciously think to react, but her arm shot out instinctively, wrapping around Neve again to prevent her from falling out of the bed.
“Sorry,” Neve said, blushing furiously. “I just… forgot you were here, I guess.”
Alba laughed at her wince. “Nothing I love more than hearing how forgettable I am.”
She buried her face in her pillow. “I didn’t mean that.”
“I know. I’m just being difficult.”
Neve groaned, peeking back up at Alba.
“Good morning,” Alba said with a radiant grin.
“Good morning.”
She watched Neve’s eyes flick from her face to her arm, tracing it to the place where it disappeared around Neve’s back. The risk of falling had passed. The customary thing would have been to let Neve go once the risk had disappeared.
Alba laughed, pulling her arm back as if the movement hadn’t been delayed. “I guess we’re adding falling out of bed to that list of places I might lose you.”
Neve bit her lip. “I, um, haven’t fallen out of bed for a long time.”
“But you have fallen out of bed.”
“Uh. Yeah. Multiple times, actually.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” she mumbled. “I used to have a real problem with it. Apparently, younger me had no concept of where the bed began or ended when I was asleep.”
“Did your parents have to put pool noodles in your bed to keep you in it?”
A pained noise sounded in her throat. “That might have been a thing that happened.”
Alba giggled. “That’s adorable.” She moved closer, wrapping her arm deliberately around Neve and pulling her deeper into the bed. “Don’t worry. I can be your pool noodle for tonight.”
“I don’t think it’s night anymore,” she said, avoiding Alba’s gaze.
“It should be. I feel like I got about three hours of sleep.”
“You probably did…”
She laughed louder. “I suppose that’s true. Zainab would probably tell me I need to learn my limits.”
“But where’s the fun in that?”
Alba adjusted her head to get a clear view of Neve’s face. This woman who was so nervous and awkward, but also so very, very interesting. Funny and smart and occasionally teasing. That tantalizing glimmer in her eye when she said something she knew was a little cheeky but was unwilling to back down from it.
And Alba was just supposed to not have a crush on her?
Maybe that made it all okay. If a crush was inevitable, the best thing to do was just ride it out, wait for it to pass. And the more time they spent together, the sooner it would, and she’d be left with a wonderful friend. Her plan hadn’t been weird at all.
“Where’s the fun in that indeed?” Alba glanced around conspiratorially. “When was the last time you pushed your limits?”
She laughed lightly. “I assume you mean other than right now, trying to survive on a few hours of sleep?”
“Naturally.”
She thought for a moment, and the sound of laughter drifted up from downstairs, transforming her expression into something much more apprehensive. “Last night.”
“What, did you try to eat your weight in pizza or something?”
She shot Alba a confused look before shaking her head. “How is that the first thing to mind?”
“I’m hungry.”
“For pizza?”
“Mm. Yes. Cold pizza for breakfast after a night out. Breakfast of champions.”
Neve hesitated. “Okay. That’s actually fair.”
“Why, thank you,” Alba said, putting on an overly grand voice in a terrible British accent.
Neve laughed. “No. Not that.”
“Then what?”
She chewed her lip again, drawing Alba’s attention. She did that a lot, usually when she was anxious, Alba was realizing. And, while Alba was really planning to get over the crush and just be friends, she couldn’t help but notice how plump and perfect that bottom lip was. They were both perfect, but the bottom lip especially… Very slightly out of balance with the top, but in the most mesmerizing way.
Alba cleared her throat, shaking the thought off. Zainab was going to know she was a goner whether Alba specifically admitted it or not. Delightful.
“By sneaking you in,” Neve finally whispered. “I’ve never actually snuck anyone in before.”
Alba furrowed her brow. “What? You live with a legit couple but you’re not allowed guests? What kind of agreement is that?”
“No, no. I am allowed guests, of course. It’s just that I’ve never snuck them in at two in the morning before.”
“Ah. That just makes it more interesting, don’t you think?”
She looked down. “Everything about you is interesting.”
Friendship was going to be tricky if she was going to keep saying things like that.
“Correct response,” Alba quipped, ignoring the swooping feeling in her chest.
Neve laughed, shaking her head before looking back at Alba.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard. So long as Alba made a joke every time Neve said anything that could be interpreted as flirty, they’d be fine. It was her usual setting anyway, and Neve wasn’t intentionally flirting. Maybe that would just be their rhythm—just like snark was her rhythm with Zainab.
“Did you ever sneak a friend into your room when you were a kid?” Alba asked, genuinely curious.
“Nope. Not once.”
“Wow. You sure know how to make a girl feel special.” Alba wasn’t supposed to be the one saying flirty things. Maybe she needed to adjust that dynamic. Two friends who were flirty and joked a lot? She’d had friends like that before. That could work.
Could she make it work with Neve? Could she make it work if Neve kept being interesting and funny and kept looking at her with those pretty blue eyes?
Charlie’s voice, audible but indecipherable, broke the momentary silence between them.
Neve shot Alba a look. “Think you’ll still be feeling special if Charlie catches you here?”
Alba rolled her eyes, only half amused. “She does know you’re an adult and allowed to pick your own friends, right?”
Something flitted quickly across Neve’s expression that told Alba she’d hit a nerve, but Neve locked it down so quickly it was clear she didn’t want to talk about it. Not yet, at least. “She just cares, you know? Worries about me.”
Alba desperately wanted to know if Neve had ever come close to doing anything that suggested she required such worry. She couldn’t imagine it, but there was that fascinating edge that popped up occasionally. There wasn’t anything Alba could think of that Neve might not be capable of.
They both seemed to be searching for the correct thing to say next when there was a knock on the bedroom door, which caused them both to jump and drew attention to the fact that Alba still had her arm wrapped around Neve. Alba was at least glad she didn’t naturally yank it back like she’d been caught doing something wrong.
“Neve? You up?” Charlie’s voice called.
Alba wasn’t especially bothered by Charlie, but she didn’t enjoy the way Neve tensed slightly. Whatever was going on with those two, even Alba could pick up that Neve wasn’t completely comfortable with the situation.
“Yeah, I’m awake,” Neve called back, clearing her throat slightly but not pulling away from Alba.
She had locked the door last night. At the time, it hadn’t seemed all that unusual—Alba had lived in enough shared homes, and visited enough people in them, to know some people were door lockers—but, now, she wondered whether Neve generally locked her door, or whether it was simply a way to keep Alba safe from whatever ire her presence was going to elicit in Charlie.
“Do you want breakfast? We made pancakes,” Charlie called through the door.
“Ooh, pancakes,” Alba whispered very quietly and very close to Neve’s ear. That didn’t stop Neve from brushing her fingers over Alba’s lips in warning, though. Alba suppressed a laugh and a shudder.
Being around Neve, Alba was quickly learning, was a million overwhelming, wonderful, conflicting experiences all at once. She wasn’t sure she’d ever experienced anything like it.
“Oh, uh, no, thank you. I’m… actually going to meet a friend for brunch,” Neve called back.
Alba gave her a look. It didn’t sound much like a lie, not after she got past the initial hesitance. Was she actually supposed to be meeting someone?
Charlie’s tone on the other side of the door changed. She wasn’t an especially subtle person. Perhaps that was why she didn’t like Alba, they were too similar in that way. “Who?”
“Oluwatobi,” Neve called back, her voice steady, but her face crumpled in a way that indicated she was definitely lying.
“Oluwatobi? Why?”
Alba frowned. She’d never once told Zainab she was meeting someone and been quizzed about why, nor had she ever quizzed Zainab—or any of her other friends—like that. There were concerned friends and then there was whatever this was. It made Alba’s insides squirm uncomfortably. She could only imagine what it must be like being on the receiving end.
“We’ve got some things to go over for work. Presentation next week, you know?”
It took a minute to realize that Neve was fidgeting again—she did that when she was anxious too, it seemed. This time, though, she wasn’t fidgeting with her own shirt. Under the blanket, her fingers were worrying the edge of the shirt she’d given Alba to wear. Alba wasn’t sure Neve even realized, but, once she was aware of it, she couldn’t not focus on it.
“Oh, right. Yeah. Didn’t realize you were working with Oluwatobi on it.”
“Uh, yeah. He sends his regards.”
Charlie snorted. “Sure he does.”
Perhaps Alba had judged too quickly. There was clearly some history there. Maybe the questioning really was coming from the right place. If Zainab was putting herself in a questionable position, Alba would probably worry. Hell, Zainab had asked plenty of questions about Alba’s insistence on seeing Neve. Maybe the delivery had been abrupt but the question wasn’t so bad after all?
Neve listened carefully for a few moments, and Alba could hear Charlie walking away from the room and back downstairs.
She grinned at Neve. “So, should I be letting you get to your brunch?”
Neve crumpled, groaning as she moved to roll her face into her pillow again. However, this time, the two of them were so close together that she mostly rolled herself into Alba’s hair and pillow. She didn’t seem in a hurry to pull back, though.
“There is no brunch,” she said, her soft voice muffled into almost nothing.
“Oh, really? You don’t say?”
“Alba,” she whined, and Alba couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.
“Sorry,” she laughed, squeezing Neve tighter. “I’m just teasing.”
“I’m a terrible friend,” she said, finally rolling back.
“You are not. You’re just… navigating an unusual situation.”
“Hm.” She stared at the wall over Alba’s shoulder for a long moment, her brow puckered. When she spoke again, her voice was so low Alba wasn’t sure the words were meant for her. “I am a terrible adult. Should have just…”
Alba watched her for a moment but wasn’t entirely sure how to help. Distraction had worked before, though. “What’s the deal with Oluwatobi?”
It worked. Neve’s face transformed into something between chagrin and amusement. “Before Charlie and Alice met, I introduced Charlie and Oluwatobi at a… birthday party…”
“Your birthday party,” Alba inserted, knowing she was right from the embarrassed way Neve attempted to skirt around it, as if the poor woman didn’t deserve a birthday party if something went awry at it.
“Indeed.” She twitched her nose adorably. “And, well, Charlie was interested and Oluwatobi… is aromantic.”
“Ah, cool.” Alba paused. “Well, not for Charlie, I suppose.”
“Yeah. He’s not aromantic and interested in a relationship. He’s aromantic and decidedly not interested in a relationship. He was very clear that he thought Charlie was lovely, but—”
“But Charlie is Charlie.”
Neve nodded awkwardly. “I guess how she is comes across pretty readily when she’s… not a fan of you.”
Alba laughed. “I’m not afraid of Charlie, don’t worry. I’ve never met anyone I can’t win over.”
“I’m sure you haven’t.”
Alba moved to sit up, propping herself up on one arm, keeping her other draped over Neve. “So, does that mean you’re available for brunch then, because I could really go for some pancakes. You know, maybe without a side of scowling.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“It’s really okay. I have been scowled at before, believe it or not.”
“I thought you just said you can win anyone over.”
“Yes, and the ones who require the most winning over are the ones who scowl.”
“Oh, right. My mistake.”
“Indeed. You’re going to have to let me buy you brunch to make up for it.”
Neve laughed. “You really don’t have to do that. And I don’t think that’s actually how making things up to someone usually works.”
“I’m the one slighted. I’ll decide on the repentance.”
“I didn’t slight you,” Neve insisted, following Alba up out of the bed.
“I know,” she replied, tilting her head with a wide grin as she held up her pink pants from last night. “But maybe you should be busy worrying about how you’re planning on sneaking me out of the apartment wearing this eye-catching suit.”
Neve groaned and fell backwards onto the bed again, leaving Alba laughing as she set about changing back into said suit.