Chapter 14
LAINEY
“I want to curl up into a hole and die after last night.” I groan, tucking my knees into my chest as Morgan fails to fight back a chuckle.
“I bet it wasn’t that bad.” She tries to console me as she walks into the living room from the kitchen, coffees in hand.
Morgan came over with coffee and breakfast this morning so we could catch up after last night, which has been haunting me since I first woke up.
Jensen ended up sleeping on my couch, but he was gone when I came to. At least he let me know with a note on my counter that it was because he had early practice. I have a while before I have to be at the arena for game time tonight, and thank God for that because I’m not ready to face Jensen.
Usually, physical therapists for the team work off and on at the arena during game days, but since the Nighthawks have a trainer team that focuses more on injury prevention, they are often the ones to help pregame and respond to immediate injuries when they happen.
The other physical therapists and I are the ones who help post-injury to get them back to where they were before. But occasionally, we fill in for one another when needed.
“What happened?” Morgan unfolds a throw blanket over her lap.
Starting with some backstory, I tell her about our childhood together and how we, including Luca, were all best friends for years before I went off to college.
She’s so easy to talk to that I even find myself opening up about Carly, which takes me by surprise.
She reciprocates, opening up about her ex and what Cam and she went through to get to where they are today.
I fill her in on every detail about last night—from the McDonald’s run, to the emotional breakdown, to the almost kiss. I tell her all of it, feeling even more horrified about making a move on Jensen when I finish.
She bites her top lip, trying to decide what to say, and I don’t blame her hesitancy—it’s a lot to digest.
“Okay, but he didn’t turn you down because he didn’t want to. That’s good! He was probably just being nice-guy Jensen and didn’t want to feel like he was taking advantage of you.”
I drop my face into my hands, recalling the words that have been replaying in my mind since he spoke them.
“Don’t think for a second that I don’t want to kiss you absolutely senseless. I’ve been thinking about it my entire life. But we’re not doing that tonight. Not until you’re certain, without a shred of doubt, that I’m the last person you want to ever touch you.”
“Yeah, I suppose. It’s just weird between us now, and it’s never been like that before. I don’t know how to handle it.” I groan, peeling my hands away and taking a sip of my coffee.
“I don’t know Jensen that well, just from brief interactions and what Cam has mentioned, but I do know that of all the nights after games that I’ve spent at The Penalty Box with the boys, I’ve never seen him look at someone like that. It’s like a whole other side of him exists, just for you.”
My eyes burn at her beautiful words. That’s so sweet, and I would love for it to be true.
My stomach suddenly churns, and a sickening sensation hits me out of nowhere like a train.
“Excuse me,” I mutter, dropping my coffee to the table as I get up and beeline it for the bathroom, just in time to pull my hair back and throw up into the toilet.
My body heaves, the doughnut and coffee all coming back up. I’m shaking a little bit when that feeling in my gut finally settles.
“Lainey?” Morgan asks, concerned, slowly approaching the bathroom.
Flushing the toilet and grabbing a towel to dab my mouth, I toss it into the laundry before straightening up and facing her. “God, that came out of nowhere.”
“Are you okay?” she asks, her brows furrowed.
Walking over to the counter, I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste, desperate to get the taste out of my mouth. “Yeah. My stomach just must not have liked the alcohol. It’s been a while since I last drank, so maybe it was that?”
“Feeling better?” she asks.
I nod as I brush my teeth, welcoming the minty freshness. I spit and clear my throat. “Yeah. Maybe a little nauseous, but nothing debilitating.”
“Okay. Well, that’s good.” Her voice is warm, but there’s still a look of concern in her eyes, making my stomach feel a twist in a whole new way.
I can tell there’s more she wants to say or ask, but probably isn’t comfortable, given how long we’ve known one another.
“Oh, out with it,” I encourage her with a smile as I lead us back to the living room, settling into the couch again under our blankets.
She taps her fingers on her cup. “Did you drink a lot more after those shots?”
I shake my head, and it’s like her thoughts slam into me, knowing where she’s going with this, and I hate that I haven’t even thought of it.
Truthfully, the thought of being pregnant right now is horrifying for many reasons, but the biggest one is that there’s only one man who could be the father, and I never wanted to have to deal with him again.
“It’s probably just a stomach bug or something. I’ve felt kind of off all day,” I murmur, my gaze staying locked on my cup.
“Yeah, for sure.” She pauses. “But on the chance it’s not and you want some support for anything, call me, okay?”
I smile, finally meeting her warm stare. “I will.”
I won’t, but at no fault of her own.
It’s probably just a little stomach flu or something because I don’t have any other symptoms …
Oh God, my period’s late.
Racking my mind, I try to think back on when my last one was. I got here about two weeks ago, and I ended my period four weeks before that … maybe even more.
Shit.
With traveling and the stress of this massive change, I must’ve lost track of my cycle in the chaos.
Oh my God, am I … pregnant?
Cole and I had sex before I left here. Right? There was once more, I think, before my last period maybe. I have such a hard time remembering because I usually black them out in the moment, and afterward, it’s hard to recall.
Grabbing my phone, I check the Vegas Venom’s recent game outcomes. When they lose, he often comes home, wanting sex to feel better, and I hate seeing him in a bad mood, so I usually oblige.
I scroll back to the last two months and find three games that they lost at home, and my blood runs cold. They are all Saturday games, which I often stayed home for and the times when Cole made me feel guilty and persuaded me to make it up to him.
The likelihood that my throwing up could be caused by pregnancy is growing by the second, as is my anxiety. But I’m also trying not to jump to that conclusion from being sick one time, like shows and movies always do.
A gentle hand caresses mine, and Morgan’s sweet voice pulls me from my racing thoughts. “Lainey?”
Trying to shake the fear and possibilities away, I clear my throat. “Sorry. Did you say something?”
“Do you want me to come with you?” she offers, and my heart warms at her kind gesture, but I play it dumb.
“Where to?”
Her head tilts to the side ever so slightly, her voice soft but hesitant. “To get a pregnancy test.”
“No.” The word slips past my lips before I realize it. “I’m not pregnant.”
“Yeah, I mean, I’m not saying you are, but you disappeared in thought there for a minute after we talked about you puking.” She pulls her hand away from mine. “You don’t have any family out here, and I don’t either, so I get it. I’m here, and I just wanted to help. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”
“I appreciate that. Seriously. And, no, it’s okay.” I smile at her, knowing damn well that when I take a test, I’ll be doing it alone. I like her a lot—I do—and I genuinely appreciate her offer. I just need to do this myself.
My phone buzzes, and I read the message that pops up on the screen from my boss, Caitlin, asking if I can come in a little earlier tonight since they have a few players who need extra attention and one of their trainers is out sick.
“Morgan, I’m sorry. It looks like I have to head to the arena sooner than planned.” I can’t even meet her eye, feeling pathetic and guilty for brushing her off after her generous kindness.
“Don’t apologize. Trust me, I get it!”
“You can hang out for a few if you’d like. I just have to change quickly.” I toss the blanket from my lap and pad into my bedroom.
“I’m going to stop by next door. My best friend, Chloe, is there right now, and I want to see if they need anything.”
Walking back toward the living room, I lean against the doorframe, my chest twisting with tightness. “Get together again soon?”
She smiles and nods sharply. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
Walking over to me, she pulls me in for a quick hug before heading out. The door shuts behind her, and my eyes fall, slamming shut as the biggest exhale rips from my lungs.
But I don’t have time to wonder if I’m pregnant or freak out about the thousand what-ifs.
I need to get to the arena, to the job I worked my life for.
Getting pregnant right now is so not a part of my plan, especially with Cole as the father.
He is going to be nothing but a headache to deal with—that I’m sure of.
After helping players stretch out attention areas and assisting the lead trainer with their game prep, I head to the tunnel entrance to catch a little of the game.
I’m not main staff for game days. I’m here as a backup essentially, but I don’t mind that Caitlin called me in to help.
I’m happy to absorb any information they have.
During games, the physical trainers are the front-line staff for game monitoring, in-game injuries, and any in-the-moment needs. I won’t necessarily be filling in for that role tonight, but rather, I’ll be the go-to girl to grab anything the staff needs or to help in any way.
I’ve been so on edge the last few hours, struggling to keep that heavy question out of my mind as I live in my denial. But I can’t do anything about it right now, so I’m trying to keep focused on the task at hand.