Chapter 14 #2
We’re a few minutes into the start of the first period, and I’m watching glimpses of it from the tunnel. Alec, Cam, Brett, Reed, and Jensen are on the ice with MacArthur between the pipes.
I forgot how pretty and strong of a skater Jensen is in person. Of course, I’ve kept up with his and my brother’s career over the last few years, even when we drifted apart.
My chest twists, as I know that it’s my fault for pulling away, all because Cole asked me to. I don’t know what happened to me during our relationship, what changed so abruptly inside of me. Part of it I know has to do with my attack; nothing’s been the same since then.
Cole had his hooks into me long before that day. Somehow, I gave him the reins over my life without skipping a beat. But he’s not in control anymore, and he hasn’t been since I decided to come to New York.
Jensen shoves one of the Sharks players before skating away, but the opponent doesn’t shake it off.
Alec passes the puck to Jensen as he flies into the zone. Out of nowhere, the Sharks player stretches his knee out and slams into Jensen, who goes airborne, flying across the ice and crashing uncomfortably.
My heart plummets, and my stomach rises to my throat as I rush toward the front of the tunnel, everything moving in slow motion.
The puck stays in play, but Jensen doesn’t get up. He’s rocking back and forth on his stomach, writhing in pain.
Oh God. No. No. No.
Please be fine.
The ref blows the whistle, ending the play, and a second later, Caitlin is being walked out onto the ice, Alec helping her across to where Jensen is writhing.
I can’t just sit here. I can’t just watch this.
She kneels down beside him as Jensen’s head rolls to the side, his pain-stricken eyes finding me through the open board door. The air is colder than ever as I suck in a breath, praying that everything’s okay.
He moves his arm, lifting it out to his side, and in the smallest movement, the biggest statement is made. His fingers, free of his glove, twitch toward me, beckoning me to him.
My feet are moving before I even realize it, jeopardizing everything I’ve worked for. But at this moment, I don’t care. The only thing I care about is getting to Jensen.
Striding into the bench, weaving through the concerned players, I approach the open board door as Helena calls my name sternly. But I ignore her. They can reprimand me later.
Cam spots me out of the corner of his eye and turns, skating over to me without question. I half expect him to tell me to get back to the bench, but he doesn’t. Instead, he bends his elbow and offers me guidance.
I slip my arm in his and step onto the ice, rushing toward where Jensen lies on the ground, Caitlin bent over, talking to him.
“Thank you,” I murmur to Cam as we quickly close the distance.
“Just help him,” Cam says, his voice pained and raw.
Reaching the huddle, I drop to my knees on the other side of Jensen, whose eyes are slammed shut, tears streaking down his temples and into his hair.
“What are you doing out here?” Caitlin asks me, but I keep my focus on Jensen.
“I’m here to help.”
His eyes fly open at the sound of my voice, his stare locking on to mine, shattering my heart at the agony wailing inside. The inner corners of his eyebrows are completely tilted up, as are his eyes.
He whimpers, his face contorting with despair, “Lain. Fuck, it’s bad, Lainey.”
Tears well in my eyes, and I swallow hard. He shakes his other glove off and lifts his hand, silently asking for mine.
Flashing my eyes to Caitlin, who’s watching me intently, I ignore all of the warnings telling me to act professional.
This isn’t just a job when it comes to him. I’m not letting him go through this alone.
Sliding my hand in his, I pull it to my chest, leaning forward. “I’m right here.”
A sob rips through him, his breathing quickening, faster and faster. “Fuck!” he screams, cutting through the silence in the arena as the crowd waits with bated breath.
His gasps become panicked, uneven, and sporadic as he starts to hyperventilate.
“Take a deep breath for me, Jensen,” Caitlin says calmly, looking over at me like she’s waiting for something. Maybe for me to prove myself, maybe for me to get the hell out of the way.
I’m here to do what’s best for Jensen, and right now, we need to get him off the ice; all of these watching eyes aren’t helping anything.
“Cam,” I call out, and he appears at my side. “We need to get him off the ice. Can you help? Alec?”
Alec appears at his other side, and Caitlin backs out of the way, letting me take the lead.
When I start to let go of Jensen’s hand, he grips it tighter, and I shift to stand by his head, our hands still interlocked. He stares straight up at me, his cheeks wet with tears.
He looks at me like I have all of the answers, and I’m so terrified to tell him I don’t. But I can help calm him down. I’ve done that a thousand times before.
My right hand finds his cheek, brushing calmly back and forth. “Hey, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. But we have to get you off the ice, okay? They’re going to help you up. I’ll be right in front of you.”
His breathing is still out of control, and he’s looking around at the small crowd of staff and players.
I might get fired for this, but if it comes down to that, I’ll find a new job, even if it’s not in the professional league. We can worry about that later.
Right now, I’m going to calm him down the only way I know how, the same way I always used before. The version of Jensen looking up at me right now is the same broken boy he once was, the terror and loneliness ever present in his gaze.
“Jensen,” I say firmly, sealing his attention on me as I look straight down into his eyes, “it’s just me and you.
We’re all alone. Everything will be okay because we have each other, right?
Just like we always have and always will.
” I pause, letting my words sink in for a moment.
“Now take a deep breath with me, okay? Inhale, two, three, four, five. Exhale, two, three, four, five.”
His breathing is already starting to calm, and the relief that blooms through me is overwhelming as we repeat the breathing technique twice more.
“Come on. They’re going to help you up, okay? You got this,” I say confidently, and he slowly nods, forcing out a controlled exhale.
I glance up at Alec and Cam, and they bend down and secure his arms around their shoulders.
“Lain,” Jensen murmurs nervously as I let go of his hand, walking around to the front of him as Cam and Alec pull him up, Jensen balancing his weight on his right leg.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I assure him as Brett offers me his arm, guiding me back toward the bench as I walk backward, Jensen’s eyes staying locked on mine every step of the way.
His weight is fully on his right leg, his left merely hovering above the ice.
Reed helps Caitlin along the slippery surface, who’s looking at me intently. I know I owe her an apology and an explanation. But I’m thankful that for this moment, she’s letting me be here for him.
Applause sounds throughout the arena around us, continuing as we make our way to the bench. I turn, just long enough to walk down the tunnel and make room for the wheelchair Helena is rolling past me toward the bench.
“Lainey!” Jensen shouts my name, his voice raspy and ragged, and I spin on my heel to face him, my heart in my throat.
Jensen’s face is panicked as they lower him down into the wheelchair, his eyes glued on to me. I take a step toward him, one that feels like more than a simple stride.
His fingers twitch my way again, tugging at my heartstrings. He’s petrified right now, and I wish more than anything that I could fix it and take away his pain.
Caitlin’s intense stare draws my gaze up, and I swallow hard, waiting for her to say or do something to ease my decision. Grabbing the handles of the wheelchair, she starts to guide Jensen down the tunnel toward me.
Her face is tight, but as Jensen leans forward, wincing in pain, she nods once at me, telling me everything I need to know.
As they approach me, Jensen lifts his hand up, and I take it without hesitation, matching their pace as his grip tightens, holding on for dear life.
“I’m right here,” I murmur, and he looks up at me, sudden exhaustion wearing on his face, defeat weighing him down. “It’ll be okay.”
Caitlin turns, leading us to the trainers’ room. She parks Jensen outside of the door and opens it up, stepping inside and giving us a moment alone.
When I crouch beside the wheelchair, he pulls our hands to his lips, kissing them softly, his eyes bloodshot. “Lainey, I don’t want to do this again.”
Resting my other hand on his uninjured knee, I swallow back my tears. “You can, and you will, and I will be here the entire time.”
“Promise?” He bites his bottom lip to stop his cry.
I pull our hands to my face and kiss his knuckles. “I promise.”