Chapter 18 #2
My insecurities take over as I slide into the driver’s seat and start the engine. I quickly play music before Jensen gets in, hoping we can avoid conversation during the short ten-minute drive to Alec and Laura’s place. There’ll be time for talking later, after dinner.
He immediately starts jamming out to the song when he gets in, and I pull out of his parking space with an ounce of relief coursing through me.
Jensen continues to sing and dance annoyingly attractively with his upper body as I follow the directions he gives me between his solo performances.
Honestly, his entertainment is just what I needed to relax into my skin. I turn into the gated community and give the barcode on Jensen’s phone, which Alec sent over, to the attendant. After scanning it, he lets us through, and we make a few short turns and arrive at the Kosteleckys’.
“Their house is beautiful,” I murmur as I put his car in park and kill the engine, admiring it with widened eyes.
“Do you want a house like this someday? Something in the suburbs?” he asks, studying me.
An image forms in my mind of Jensen and me living in a place like this, raising the baby growing inside me. But I force it away, not wanting to get my hopes up for a daydream that might never come true.
He wants me now, but is he going to want me, knowing I come with a little package? I don’t know, and that’s what terrifies me the most.
“Maybe,” I whisper, tossing my keys in my purse next to my AirPods and exiting the car without meeting his gaze, which has been lingering on me the entire time.
Running my hand through my slicked-back high ponytail, I take a shaky, deep breath, trying to calm my anxiety.
Part of me feels so incredibly guilty for giving him mixed signals, leaning into the flirting, but then shutting down without a warning. But we just have to get through this, and then I’ll tell him everything.
The front door opens, and a young boy rushes out, heading straight for Jensen. “Hey!”
“Jack!” Jensen shouts back at him as Jack practically tackle-hugs him. “Whoa, be careful.”
“Sorry!” He pulls back, looking painfully at the crutches. “What happened?”
Morgan waves at me from the open front door as Jensen tells Jack about the news he got back from the doctor—a confirmed fully torn ACL and a partially torn meniscus.
“You look hot.” I smile as Morgan pulls me in for a hug.
“So do you.” She winks and glances behind me. “And he certainly agrees by the way he’s staring.”
Warmth spreads across my cheeks. “Oh, stop it.”
She hooks her arm in mine and drags me into the stunning house. It’s clear how much love exists in this home from the pictures of Alec, Laura, and their kids hung on almost every wall. My throat tightens, emotion taking me by surprise.
Without command from my mind, my hand brushes my stomach, and I wonder what our future will look like. So much of my life is up in the air right now, but I try to force those thoughts away. Worrying about them tonight won’t help me solve these problems any faster.
“This is Laura,” Morgan introduces me.
She steps in for a hug, and I reciprocate.
“It’s so great to meet you. I’ve heard so many amazing things.”
“From Morgan?” She laughs, teasing. “Doubtful.”
Chatter and noise echo from another room. From the sounds of it, a lot of the guys are busy watching a hockey game. Shocking.
“Piper!” Morgan calls out as a stunning girl with sleek black hair walks past the kitchen with the most intense resting bitch face I’ve ever seen.
She doubles back and turns into the kitchen.
“Hey.” Her eyes fall to me curiously, a ghost of a smile on her red lips. “A new face.”
Okay … she’s intimidating, but she also seems like the exact girl you want to have on your team. The one who will smack you for talking badly about yourself.
“Hi. I’m Lainey,” I say, not stepping in for a hug since she didn’t.
“Which one’s yours?” She chuckles. “Mine’s Brett.”
Brett, like the sweet, bubbly one? I would not have pictured them together, but now that she said that, I could totally see her bringing him a level of seriousness and him helping her be more playful. Maybe I’m reading into it too much. We just met after all.
“Hers is Jensen,” Morgan says with a smirk, and Piper’s eyes widen slightly.
“Jensen?” Piper asks, shocked.
My anxiety spikes. Oh God. What do they know that I don’t? What am I not catching?
“Don’t look nervous!” Morgan turns to me and rubs my arm. “You’re just the first girl he’s ever brought to … well anything.”
“Ever?” My question is soft and hopeful.
We haven’t discussed who we’ve been with; obviously, there are quite a few things on the agenda before that, but it’s still shocking to hear. He’s hot as fuck, ripped, tattooed, funny, and he’s a pro hockey player. I have no doubt that if he wanted to, he could’ve.
All three girls shake their heads.
“Are you guys talking about me?” Jensen’s deep voice cuts through the room as he walks up behind me, his hand finding the small of my back like it was made to rest there as he balances on his crutches.
I turn in his touch to face him, craning my neck back to meet his eye. “Yeah, about how Jack nearly tackled you outside.”
“What?” Laura scoffs. “I told him to be careful!” She storms out of the kitchen toward the front door, immediately ruining my cover story from showing Jensen that I made that up when she storms off.
Jensen clicks his tongue. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. I can’t believe you lied to me. I’m hurt.”
“You should be,” I tease, biting back my smile.
“Dinner!” Alec calls loudly through the house, and chaos ensues.
A group of kids rushes through the kitchen, on a mission, arguing over who gets to plate up first.
“I’m going to use the restroom. I can get our plates when I get back,” I tell Jensen, who’s looking at me like he doesn’t hear a word I say, distracted with a gleam in his eye.
He smiles and nods before following Morgan and Piper in the direction of the kids.
I exhale as I walk back toward the entryway, quickly finding a bathroom. I feel my phone vibrate as I sit down, and I dig it out of my purse.
I should’ve ignored it.
Cole texted me a photo, and I groan, annoyed that he’s still messaging me at all. Setting my phone down without looking at it, I finish using the restroom before my curiosity gets the best of me.
Grabbing my phone before stepping out of the room, I open the message, and my blood runs cold.
That’s not what I think it is, right?
There’s no way.
It’s a photo of a house … of this house, taken in the driveway.
“What the fuck?” I murmur to myself.
Another text comes through, and I suddenly regret not answering his messages and calls from before. If I had known he would show up out of the blue, I would’ve found a way to deal with him sooner.
Cole: I just want to talk, Lainey.
How the hell did he even find me?
It suddenly dawns on me, and I smack myself on the forehead. My AirPods. I never took them off our shared tracking app. He’s been able to see my location this entire fucking time. But now he’s in town for the Venom versus Nighthawks game tomorrow and has a chance to get close to me.
Tonight is my first impression as someone other than staff to most of the people in this house, and I don’t want Cole to tarnish any of their opinions.
I’m done with his shit. But the worst part is that I don’t get to be—at least not yet, while he still has a potential claim to my baby.
Opening the bathroom door, I sneakily walk toward the front door on the balls of my feet, keeping the points of my heels off the floor.
Slowly opening the front door, I hesitate for a second as waves of emotion course through me.
Anger. Sadness. Grief. I gave everything I had to that man, and he stepped on it like dirt.
He made me feel like I was never enough—something I wouldn’t have realized without how sweet Jensen has been over the last few weeks.
The moment he sees me, he steps toward me, and I hastily close the door behind me as I walk across the patio and down the two steps.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” My whisper-shout boils with rage.
He holds his hands up, but his tone shows little surrender. “It’s good to see you too, Lainey.”
Something snaps inside of me, unleashing a version of myself I don’t recognize. “Are you being serious right now? You expect me to greet you with, what, a hug and kiss? Say how much I miss you? You’re out of your goddamn mind!”
“Me?” His eyes go crazy, widening uncomfortably. “You’re the one threatening me, holding secrets above my head.”
I roll my eyes and groan at his audacity. “Ones I’m only going to leak if you pull shit like this again!” And maybe to get you to sign over your custody of our unborn child.
“I told you about that in confidence,” he pleads.
I audibly laugh, unable and unwilling to hold it back. “You did a lot of things in confidence with a lot of people, it sounds like. I don’t owe you shit. You’re the dumb fuck who opened his mouth to the one person he should’ve been fucking good to.”
He drags his hand down his face and takes a few steps toward me. My instincts urge me to step back, but I stay planted, standing my ground.
“Lainey, baby, look, I fucked up, okay? I know that! But I’ve been good! I want to prove that to you. Just give me a second chance.”
God, the manipulation never ends. How was I blind to it for so long? He doesn’t want me back. He just wants to control the information I have on him.
The door opens behind me, and I slam my eyes shut as Cole backs up slightly, his hands up.
“What the FUCK are you doing here?” Jensen’s voice shimmies down my shoulder, booming from the front stoop. The sound of his crutches grow closer until I can feel the warmth and anger radiating off of him onto my back.
“Look, this doesn’t have anything to do with you, okay?” Cole acts tough, but his confidence wavers as Nighthawks player after player joins my side. “This is between Lainey and me.”
“Anything you need to say to her, you can say with us here,” Cam says protectively, and my heart warms at the support of my newfound family.
Cole wets his lips before looking back at me. “Lainey, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I love you so much.” He pauses, taking a small stride toward me, and Jensen stiffens against my back. “I can’t lose you. I need you, baby.”
I swear the world has stopped spinning or I’ve entered a parallel universe because I feel absolutely nothing when he finishes his pathetic speech. No sympathy. No regret or sadness.
His eyes turn upward, and he continues, “You have to be with your soulmate, Lainey. We’re meant to be together.”
I’m possessed by someone else.
Someone confident and sure of who they are and what they want. That’s the only explanation. I’m tired of this game we’ve always played.
I’ve been living in such fear of what-ifs and doubt since my attack, walking through life on my tiptoes, scared to ripple the water. Look where that’s gotten me. I was stuck in a bad relationship for far too long. I was captive to my mind and body, hiding from my past and scared of the future.
But I’m done living like that. I’m going to be a mom, and I want to set an example for my baby. I want to be someone who goes after what they want, who loves unabashedly and truly, and doesn’t hide from the world.
“You’re right about one thing, Cole. I do need to be with my soulmate.”
He perks up, and I smile, knowing what I’m about to do—something I should have done a long time ago.
Spinning around, I look up at a fuming Jensen. His gaze flicks down to me, instantly softening, and I know without a doubt that the only person I’m meant to be with is him.
Looking back to Cole, I smirk. “And it’s certainly not you.”
My hands slide up Jensen’s chest and cup his sharp jawline as time stands still, his brown eyes full of longing and anticipation.
“But you.”
Rising to my toes, I pull him down toward me, and his lips collide with mine. At first, he’s frozen, but only for the tiniest sliver of a second.
He claims my very being with his kiss, branding me to the core as emotion wells in my eyes from the intensity in his touch.
His lips roll against mine, and his crutches fall, crashing to our feet as he grabs my face desperately, deepening the kiss with utter devotion.
I can taste his passion, feel his possessiveness, and I’ve never been more present in a moment than I am right now.
I’m not disappearing into the back of my mind or fighting tears to get through the intimacy. I want to be there with Jensen when we have sex more than I’ve ever wanted it before. I want to be fully present with everything that happens.
The tip of his tongue strokes the seam of my lips, and I moan into his mouth, granting him entrance and forgetting everything else around us, including the applause and cheers being shouted in happiness.
I’m floating, merely tethered to the ground by this kiss. His warm tongue dances with mine as time fades away.
He presses his lips once more before his forehead rolls against mine, his breath labored and husky. “I’ve waited so fucking long to do that. Please don’t tell me it’ll be the last.”
Biting down on my tingling bottom lip, I look up into his eyes, slowly inching away so I can see him fully, clearly. Even though I shouldn’t promise this, I do because Jensen and I are inevitable. “It won’t.”
His pupils are shot with lust, and he smiles bigger than I’ve ever seen.
He murmurs loud enough for only me to hear, “Good.”
“All right, buddy, it’s time for you to get the hell off my property,” Alec demands rather than requests as I spin back toward Cole with Jensen’s arm wrapped around my shoulders.
Cole’s murderous glare makes my blood run cold as he snarls, “You fucking whore.” He looks up at Jensen. “Enjoy the slut. She’s damaged goods anyway—”
I see black as rage rattles my bones, and I’m moving before I realize it. My fist collides with his cheek, and he grunts in pain, as do I, my hand screaming with agony.
How dare he?! I’m not damaged goods! My heart sinks as the words echo over and over in my mind.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I shove him backward, and he falls to the driveway, holding his jaw.
Turning on my heel, I keep my head down and rush back toward the house, ignoring the outstretched hands reaching my way. I need a moment alone, far away from that fucker.
Screaming sounds outside, but I ignore it, knowing that Cole is far outnumbered as I turn into the bathroom, shut and lock the door, and slide down the back of it, my head in my hands.