Chapter Four
Vinegar woman was River’s new girlfriend. That was fine. Audrey could handle that.
Her mind ruminated on just how much she’d given away.
Sure, she’d agreed she knew how terrible families could be at Christmas, but that was okay, right?
It didn’t mean she thought her family was terrible.
Sure, the woman had brought it up, so maybe she thought the Sinclairs were horrid, but that was okay.
She was new. She’d never met them before.
And, as one of them, technically, Audrey’s job was to defend them, to represent them. Not to agree they sucked.
She looked again at the woman River was chatting to.
She was pretty, confident, relaxed. And Audrey felt like a giant with the two of them.
An awkward giant. She had a good six or seven inches on the woman, and even more on River, which was nothing new, but she was painfully aware of it when she wanted nothing more than to disappear and try her whole introduction to the woman again.
“So, yeah,” River said, smiling up at her, “this is my cousin Audrey! And, Audrey, this is my girlfriend Hallie.”
Audrey didn’t react to the slight hesitation on girlfriend. It was new. And this whole thing was awkward as hell. Who was she to judge?
Hallie turned her gaze on Audrey. The first time she’d actually looked directly at her since they’d both realized what was going on. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot.”
Audrey’s muscles locked down, refusing to give her away.
She knew exactly what Hallie must have heard, but she had no interest in getting into that—or giving away how uncomfortable the whole thing made her.
Especially not when she was still desperately clutching a bottle of balsamic vinegar and looking into perhaps the most striking eyes she’d ever seen.
She took a slow breath, knowing she had to shake the woman’s hand. Didn’t make much difference at this point. She’d already touched enough stuff around the store that her hands were… contaminated.
“Nice to meet you too,” she said as Hallie’s small, soft hand slid into hers.
Hallie smiled, glancing from Audrey to River and back again. “River told me you were the one she was most looking forward to seeing this week.”
Audrey breathed a laugh. That was okay. They could pretend it was just that. “I suppose the rest of our family can be a little… intense.”
River tried, badly, to stifle a giggle. “That’s such a generous term for it.”
Audrey knew that. Clearly, so did Hallie, but still. They… had their positives, and the whole point was to focus on those.
“Did you already get your taffy?” she asked River, trying desperately for a change of subject. And that was safe. Taffy. Low stakes. Cute tradition. Jill and Rob always paid for River’s first bag of the stuff. Nice, generous family times.
River beamed, her shoulders squeezing up around her ears as she did. “Yes! It was the first thing I showed Hallie when we got here.”
“It really was,” Hallie said warmly. “So many flavors.”
Audrey’s eyes flicked from River to Hallie again.
There was something off about the two of them together.
Nothing obvious, but she could feel it in the back of her mind, growing louder as the seconds ticked by.
They didn’t stand close enough together, didn’t move towards each other like couples did.
Didn’t look at each other long enough. If Audrey had been asked to guess, she’d say they were friends.
They clearly knew and cared about each other, but there was no… romantic tension between them.
Of course, it was a new relationship and Hallie was being thrown into Sinclair week, so maybe it was all of that she was picking up on. Or, maybe it was Zora getting into her head.
People did not bring fake girlfriends to their family events. Especially not week-long ones.
“Ah, third wheeling again, Audrey?” Rob’s familiar but unpleasant voice called as he and Jill pulled their cart up alongside the three of them.
Audrey registered her chest tightening, how aware she was of the breath she was sucking in. She’d been back with everyone for all of thirty minutes. “Oh, of course. You know me.”
“Actually,” Hallie said, unexpected and just as controlled as Audrey’s voice had been, “I interrupted her.”
Jill laughed. “That’s sweet of you, dear.”
Audrey knew that tone all too well. They’d pulled it out on other people’s partners more than once. The whole aren’t you a sweetheart for trying to include the family reject?
Some things never changed, no matter how many members of the family did.
Audrey smiled stiffly, the move not even close to reaching her eyes as she stepped back from the group. “That’s my cue. I’m going to go check out the cheese selection.”
“Oh, your parents were just there,” Jill said in that unforgivable tone again. “So, if you need a friend, you won’t be alone.”
Yes, because that’s clearly something I’m concerned about.
She strode quickly away. Perhaps if she ever learned to say things like that aloud to her family, their jabs would stop. As it stood, she had no idea how to get there. This was just the way things worked in her family.
If she ever did meet someone she could imagine spending her life with, she kind of hoped they came with a nice family, a good excuse to miss Sinclair events in favor of her partner’s.
Maybe if someone loved her like that, she wouldn’t feel the need to keep coming around her own family.
Although, she couldn’t practically imagine how any of that would work.
Zora’s family welcomed her in but she forever felt like an outsider, like she couldn’t be there for the big days, the family events.
Perhaps she should have been wishing for someone who didn’t spend the holidays with their family, someone who just wanted to spend time as the two of them. Maybe she’d be able to handle that.
She made it to the cheese section, delighted to see her parents had moved on, and carefully avoided one of her other uncles at the opposite end of the large fridges. She was eternally grateful they’d come to Horrocks while it was busy.
For several moments, she made a good show of pretending to be interested. Ample practice had demonstrated that she was perfectly capable of appearing present, even as her mind fixated or shut down.
But even she wasn’t good enough not to panic and jolt when a body appeared beside her and Hallie’s quiet voice said, “Your family’s interesting.”
Audrey ran the nails of her free hand over the pad of her thumb, trying to calm the way her pulse was thudding in her skull, making her needlessly dizzy.
“That’s one word for it.” She sighed. “Sorry for… all the comments you’re about to witness.
All of the comments you’ve undoubtedly already heard. ”
Hallie frowned. “You’re apologizing for your family’s behavior?”
Audrey almost laughed. How many times had Zora called her out for doing that? “I guess I am, yeah.”
“Pretty sure that’s not your job.”
“Pretty sure it is,” she muttered, looking around. “No River?”
Hallie looked her over, and, again, her eyes were far too penetrating. Some cool, icy blue that just seemed… piercing. “She’s with Jill and Rob, picking coffee.”
Audrey laughed. “She’s picking hot chocolate.”
“Sorry?”
“River. She doesn’t drink coffee. She’ll be picking hot chocolate.”
“Oh.” Hallie grimaced like she’d never known that, which felt a little odd. How fast did you have to be speedrunning a relationship to not know your girlfriend didn’t drink coffee? “Good to know, I guess.”
Audrey fought the urge to furrow her brow. Something really was off with these two. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… ruin things if she’s been… I don’t know, pretending to be a coffee connoisseur for you.”
Hallie snorted, relaxing again. “Nothing like that. I’ve just never noticed she doesn’t drink coffee. Though, to be fair, I do love it, so I guess… uh, well, I guess she might not have… brought it up so we seemed more… compatible?”
“Right…” Audrey was going to murder Zora.
If she hadn’t planted the idea in Audrey’s head, she might have been able to have this conversation without hearing a million unsaid things in every pause.
She didn’t know Hallie nearly well enough to hear anything in those pauses.
What on earth was she doing? “Do you want cheese?”
“Oh, I see you’ve read that guide on fascinating women. Makes sense. I did hear you’re a doctor.”
Audrey laughed. “I’m an entomologist. It’s not exactly required reading for that…”
Hallie walked around her, smirking up at her. “Ah, so you’re not interested in mesmerizing women? Just bugs? Do they like cheese?”
“Do you want me to answer that while we’re actively shopping for cheese?”
“Hm.” She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, maybe not. I’m going to assume all the bugs in the world know cheese is high in fat and they shouldn’t eat it. You know, like how you shouldn’t give it to your cat.”
“I think that’s also because a lot of cats are lactose intolerant.”
Hallie stopped directly in front of Audrey, looking up at her. “And bugs aren’t? Are a lot of insects out here pounding milk by the glass?”
Audrey shook her head, pressing her lips together to prevent herself from laughing.
Hallie was funny. Maybe that was part of how she and River worked.
River was, consistently, the funniest, least insulting member of their family after all.
“Dairy is not a huge part of most insects’ lives, you’re correct.
They don’t produce milk, so there is no need for lactase. ”
“There you go, then. Bugs are the same as cats and there’s no need to worry about them around my cheese.”
“Right.” Audrey wasn’t going to smash the illusion for her. She was more than used to people being unable to get past the whole… insect thing. Most especially when it came to their food. Which was valid. Audrey loved bugs, but she had no interest in having them all over her food.
Hallie huffed. “I don’t think I want cheese.”
“That’s fair.”
She shot Audrey a wry look. “Any for you?”
“I’m good. Besides, I heard my parents were already here. In case River didn’t give you the rundown, there will probably be the equivalent of five wheels of cheese bought here tonight and brought back to the house.”
“Huh. Big cheese fans?”
Audrey froze in her tracks as they headed into the vegetable section. “Uh. I’m not sure, honestly. I’m only just realizing I don’t think anyone is particularly attached to cheese for the rest of the year. It’s just a… holiday tradition, I suppose.”
“Well, they wouldn’t be the first. People do all kinds of things for the holidays. Plus, it’s a lot better than the other… tradition they all seem hell-bent on engaging with.”
“Ah.” Audrey didn’t need to ask which tradition that was.
Whether it was the need to couple up or the need to comment on her unwillingness to do so, it all came down to the same thing in the end.
And, of course, one day was more than enough time for Hallie to have picked up on that.
All of River’s other partners had noticed it just as quickly.
Her family’s willingness to put it all out there was part of what made telling them off complicated.
If people thought they were doing something wrong, they hid it, they kept it hushed.
They did not bring it up the second new people were around.
Thus, Audrey was the odd one. Odd for being upset, odd for refusing to engage in the whole practice.
Just odd. But she’d long since gotten used to being considered that way.
“Does it bother you?” Hallie asked quietly, pretending to be more focused on the cauliflowers than on Audrey’s answer.
“Not really,” she replied, perhaps a touch too quickly, but that was okay. Hallie surely didn’t know her well enough to pick up on it.
She hummed. “It would be okay if it did, you know? I’ve been here for less than twenty-four hours and it’s bugging me.”
Audrey smirked at her. “Oh, bugging you, is it?”
“Ha. Ha. Very funny, entomologist.”
From over Hallie’s shoulder, Audrey spotted River and her parents making their way over. Of course. River and Hallie were supposed to be glued together. Audrey was not supposed to be interrupting someone else’s couple time. And she had no interest in doing so.
Her eyes snapped back to Hallie’s. “I’m used to it, but not so used to it that I’m going to invite it more than I need to. Have fun with River.”
She saw the way Hallie looked disappointed as Audrey backed away, ready to slip down one of the aisles and away from Jill and Rob. It wasn’t anything about Hallie. Or even River. Audrey liked both of them. But she couldn’t stand Jill and Rob.
“Maybe you should make like an insect and stick around,” Hallie called after her, not loud enough that the other three would hear it.
Audrey laughed, her chin dropping into the scarf she still had wrapped around her neck. It wasn’t the best bug pun she’d ever heard, but it wasn’t the worst either. Well, maybe it was up there. But maybe she liked Hallie enough to forgive her.