Chapter Five
Ana
I stare at the door as Maverick leaves the room. I hear him talk to my mom and aunts for a couple minutes before the front door shuts.
“I didn’t think he would actually show up,” I whisper.
“Clearly, he is willing to do anything for you,” Serena whispers back.
“He hasn’t shown me that I could count on him for years. It’s only a matter of time before he turns into the Maverick I have come to know,” I tell her.
“You don’t know that. Maybe you leaving really opened his eyes, and he’s changed,” my sister says, trying to reason with me.
“Maybe it did, but I don’t know if that’s a risk I am willing to take,” I say with a tear falling down my cheek.
“You don’t have to forgive him right away. Just let him help until the funeral. After that, you can decide,” she says.
“I guess. He did show up, so it would be rude to kick him out after he flew down here.”
My sister and I sit in silence until Maverick returns. When he walks into the room, his arms are full of bags.
“I already gave the women downstairs their alcohol and tacos. Here are yours. The rest is stuff I will need for a couple days,” he says before placing bags on the bed.
My sister lunges for the alcohol while I practically jump for the tacos. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I smelt that delicious aroma.
“Is there anything else you need?” he asks, standing at the foot of the bed.
“You can stay and have a drink,” I tell him in between bites.
He pulls out a six pack of beer. “I’m only going to have a couple. I’m just going to let you ladies go crazy. Don’t worry. I’ve got you all.”
“That’s pretty brave of you,” my sister says with a smirk.
“Why do you say that?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at her.
“Including the women downstairs, that’s six women who are probably going to drink their feelings for one night before dealing with everything tomorrow. That’s a lot of responsibility,” she tells him.
“I can handle it,” he says with a smirk.
My sister smirks but gives him a look like she doesn’t believe him.
Maverick’s phone rings, and he looks down with a slight smile that has me suspicious.
“Brother?” he says in greeting which has me looking at him in shock.
I’ve never known him to have a smile like that in years; like he was happy or excited to talk to the person.
“Yeah, I made it. Already got them alcohol and tacos. They all just want to let loose for the night,” he tells whomever is on the phone.
“Yeah, hold on,” he says before moving the phone away from his face and presses a button which makes Ice’s voice fill the room.
“Hey Ana-girl, are you doing okay?” he asks in a deep, raspy voice.
“I’ve been better,” I tell him honestly.
“Sorry I couldn’t be there, but that fucker just ran out of the house like his ass was on fire when he found out what happened,” he says bluntly.
I let out a laugh. “That’s okay. I think I can forgive you this time.”
“Don’t worry about your house. I’m going to keep working on it since Viking is over there. It’s coming together pretty well,” he says.
“Oh thank you. You don’t have to do that,” I say.
“It’s no problem. I’ll see you in a few days. Call me from Viking’s phone if you need anything,” he says.
I agree before we hang up.
“Who was that guy on the phone?” my sister asks while looking between Maverick and me.
“Ice. He’s a brother,” Maverick answers her.
“He seems like more than a brother,” she says with a smirk.
I shake my head. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
I look over at Maverick, and he has a slight blush on his cheeks. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
“It’s nothing. We can talk about it later,” he says with a wave of his hand.
“We have time right now. I’m sure we both could use the distraction,” I say.
“I don’t know. It’s part of the reason why I have been an asshole,” Maverick admits.
“More reason to share!” my sister shouts, holding the tequila bottle in the air.
“Might as well get it out; she’s not going to let it go until you tell us,” I tell him.
He lets out a sigh. “I’m attracted to men,” he whispers into his beer.
“You’re what?” my sister shouts.
He looks at her with a resigned expression and then turns his gaze to me. His gaze is full of guilt. “I was never looking at the club women. I said that shit about you not being like them so that no one would suspect that I was actually watching my brothers fuck them. I couldn’t even tell you which club girl was on her knees for the brother, but I could tell you the brother and what his orgasm face looks like.”
My jaw drops open in shock at his words. I think about all the times I saw him watching club girls get fucked. I never once looked to where his eyes were looking.
“How come you never told me?” I rasp.
“I loved you and wanted you. I knew I was attracted to some of the brothers in the club, but it wasn’t very strong so I ignored it. I didn’t think that I needed that part of me to be fulfilled because I had you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman, but then I couldn’t stop but wondering what it would feel like, and the guilt started to come. With the guilt came the drinking, and I didn’t want to look at you in the eyes and admit I was thinking about someone else while we were married,” he chokes out.
I take in the expression on his face. He looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“You could have told me,” I rasp.
He nods his head. “I know, but the longer I went withholding a part of myself from you, the harder it was to tell you.”
“So, is there a certain brother you want now?” my sister asks, looking very excited at the idea.
A blush comes to his cheeks. “There have been many over the years,” he mumbles.
“But there is someone now,” my sister says slowly.
He shrugs his shoulders and coughs something into his hand.
I narrow my eyes at him, trying to figure out what he said.
“That sounded like Ice,” my sister whispers loudly so he hears her.
He looks anywhere but at us. My eyes widen with realization.
“Ice?” I say with a gasp.
He looks at me guiltily and nods his head once.
“Oh my,” I rasp.
My mind suddenly becomes filled with images of Ice and Maverick together. There is no doubt that Ice is attractive. They would be so hot together. Wow, I look at my coolers and notice that I’ve drank a couple already.
“I’m sorry. I have no right to be looking at anyone. I’ve always wanted you,” Maverick pleads with me.
“I’m not mad. More confused than anything. I wish you would have told me. Now I’m left wondering if everything in our relationship was a lie,” I tell him honestly.
“None of it was a lie. Everything I have ever felt for you was real. I just didn’t tell you I liked men as well,” he says, sounding panicked.
“This confession doesn’t magically fix everything,” I warn.
He nods his head. “Yeah, I know it doesn’t. I just didn’t want to keep it from you anymore. If you decide to give us another chance for us to work on our marriage then you deserve to know all of me. No more secrets.”
“I’ve never had secrets from you,” I say softly.
Maverick “Viking”
I look at my wife and her sister and can’t believe I am actually confessing what I have been holding back for years.
Ana telling me that she has no secrets is like a knife to the gut.
I’m the only one keeping things from her and that needs to stop now.
I’ll be anything she needs and do whatever she wants. She calls the shots now. I still don’t blame her if she’s pissed at me for keeping this from her, but I can’t just let her walk away.
“I know I’ve been an asshole and that’s going to change,” I tell her.
“We can discuss this more after the funeral. I need to think first,” Ana tells me.
I nod my head in understanding. “I’ll be here for anything you, your sister, and mother need. Afterwards, I hope you come back home with me so I can try to fix this.”
“I can’t make any promises. There might be a chance we can’t fix it, and you need to be prepared for that,” she says softly.
I don’t say anything to that because I don’t accept that I can’t fix this between us. I don’t want to think there is no chance.
We decide to move our conversation to lighter topics. I watch as they devour the tacos and drink the alcohol like it is water.
Eventually we end up downstairs where they join their mom and aunts.
I can see why Serena was smirking at me when I said I would look after everyone because grieving women who are letting go for the night and drinking is insane.
I had bought a lot since I didn’t know how much anyone drank, but it might not be enough.
My phone rings, so I head to the kitchen where it’s less noisy but you can hear everyone in the background.
“Hello?”
“Viking, this is Derek,” the voice on the other end grumbles.
“Hey, I’m assuming my Prez told you why I’m here,” I say hesitantly.
“Yes, trust me, I know this can’t be easy for you guys right now. If there is anything you need, Vicious Snakes are here,” he says.
“I’ve got six drunk women who wanted to let go for the night, and I thought I bought enough alcohol. I’d get more, but I don’t want to leave them,” I tell him.
“I can send some help. They will bring alcohol and more food. Just send me the address.”
I mutter my agreement before hanging up and texting him the address.
The women decide to whip out a karaoke machine. After twenty minutes, there is a knock at the door.
The second I open the door, it is pushed open and biker babes from Vicious Snakes are pushing me out of the way while holding bags of who knows what.
“Hi everyone, you don’t know us, but we are from the Vicious Snakes MC. I’m Lily and this is Ella, Olivia, Sophie, and Sasha. We are here for you all. We brought our men too. We brought food and more alcohol so we can help you forget for a night. Then, tomorrow, we will be whatever you need us to be,” Lily says.
“I can’t believe you guys are doing this,” Ana says while looking around in amazement.
“Trust me, we have all been there and know that everyone needs support. The Devious Eagles are our allies and friends. Since the Devious Eagles can’t all be here for you, we are pretty much their stand-in’s,” Derek says with a small smile.
“You guys are just in time because my tone-deaf daughters were about to put on a show,” Ana’s mom says.
I shake my head. I know Ana can’t sing, but that doesn’t stop her from singing every chance she can get. I always thought it was cute when she would pour her heart into it despite knowing she’s bad.
Me and five of the Vicious Snakes brothers sit in the background sipping on beers, even though none of us are getting drunk. I think it’s an unspoken thing to take care of the women, since the Vicious Snakes women seem to be great at cheering people up.
“I know you must love your woman for other reasons than her voice,” Bear says with a wince as Ana and Serena sing.
I shake my head with a grin. “She’s something special. I just need to find a way for her to forgive my sorry ass when I get her back home.”
All the men look at me. “What did you do?” Derek asks.
I hesitate, but then decide “fuck it” because my club and woman already know. I tell them everything, including how I have been an asshole. I also let them know that I didn’t know Ana was here until she told me her dad died.
Damien lets out a low whistle. “That shit won’t be easy. It would be if you just fucked up once, but it seems like you were an asshole for a long time.”
I nod my head. “I know it, but she’s mine. I can’t be without her.”
“It seems like you want this enough that I’m sure you will find a way to fix it. A determined man like you will do whatever it takes. You don’t seem like the type to give up and, eventually, she will see that too. Just remind her of the man she fell in love with instead of the man you became over the last couple years,” Derek says while the others nod their heads in agreement.
I think about his words. Just remind her who I was and why she fell for me in the first place.
I need to make my wife fall in love with me all over again.
A grin takes over my face as I look over at her.
She fell for me once; she can again.
Chapter Six
Ana
The next morning, I don’t want to get out of bed. I feel a warm body underneath me. I breathe in and automatically know it’s Maverick.
I would know his scent anywhere.
I don’t remember the whole night, but I know it was just what I needed.
When I shift so that I can try to get up and do something about my head pounding, Maverick tightens his hold on me.
“Morning Button,” he rasps in that sleepy voice that I love.
I don’t comment on him calling me “Button” because even though I told him I didn’t want him to call me that anymore, I love hearing him call me that.
“Why did you let me drink so much?” I grumble.
He chuckles. “There was no stopping you. All of you needed it.”
I get up and head to the washroom to clean up. When I get out in nothing but a towel, Maverick is walking in with coffee and a bottle of aspirin.
“I also have some Gatorade to help,” he says, putting the cups beside the bed and gesturing to the bottles on the floor.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Stay,” I say softly when it looks like he’s going to leave.
He sits on the bed where he was sleeping, and I waste no time in straddling his lap.
I haven’t chosen to forgive him yet, but I need something. Some sort of connection. To feel.
“Ana,” he breathes out when I lean in and kiss him softly.
“This doesn’t mean I forgive you, but I need you,” I say with a whimper when I feel his hard cock and grind myself down on him.
“I’m here for whatever you need, baby. I’ll never say no to you. I just don’t want you to regret it,” he rasps. His breath hitches when I grind down again.
“Please,” I plead.
He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss that’s full of desperation.
It’s like he’s showing me that he needs me as much as I need him.
I push out the emotions and try to concentrate on what I’m feeling.
When I pull back from the kiss, I lean back and open my towel, letting it fall onto his lap.
He bites his lip as he takes me in.
No matter what we have gone through, whenever he sees me naked it’s like he’s seeing me for the first time.
A shiver runs through my body while he pulls me back to him and I grind down on him again.
One hand moves to one of my breasts while the other moves towards my clit.
I let out a gasp at the contact.
I feel myself getting wetter the longer he strokes my clit.
I move my hands to undo the button of his jeans, and he shifts his hips enough for me to pull his cock out.
I wrap my hand around him, loving the feel of his hard cock.
When we both pull back from the kiss, we lock eyes as I move my body so his cock is at my entrance. Slowly I slide myself down as my mouth falls open at the feel.
“Fuck,” he bites out.
He puts his hands up my hips as he helps me fuck myself on his cock and leans forward to take a nipple into his mouth.
A low moan escapes me.
One hand moves back to my clit. “Come for me, baby,” he rumbles.
I feel my walls tightening around him as an orgasm hits me.
When the wave is over, he flips us so I’m on my back. I notice he’s still hard.
“That’s one. I want another one from you, baby,” he says as he fucks me slowly until the sensitivity passes.
“More,” I moan out.
Once the words leave my mouth, he fucks into me harder and faster.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he rasps.
When he moves to his knees and lifts my legs in the air, the angle changes and he hits that sweet spot inside of me that has me seeing stars.
It only takes a few more thrusts before I feel myself tightening around him again.
This time he follows me over the edge, and I feel his hot release inside of me. I never knew I loved the feeling of him coming inside of me until we stopped using condoms.
He falls onto his elbows on top of me, being careful not to crush me with his weight, as he lightly bites and kisses my shoulder.
“That was what I needed,” I say through panting.
He chuckles. “Glad I could be of service.”
There’s a knock at the door before I can respond.
“Now that you guys are done, mom and the aunts are asking for you two downstairs,” my sister shouts through the door.
I cover my face with an arm before letting out an embarrassed groan.
Maverick chuckles before sliding out of me and getting up.
“We better head down,” he says while helping me up.
“Just let me clean myself up again, and then I’ll go down,” I say.
“I need a shower anyways,” he says before heading to my bathroom and climbing into the shower.
I don’t think as I climb in with him, and we both get washed up.
We don’t speak since I’m not sure what to say after what happened.
As mad as I am at him, I can’t help but want him.
Now, I have to get through everything we have been trying to avoid thinking about.
I blow out a shaky breath as I put on some clothes.
When I’m done and Maverick is dressed, he wraps his arms around me as my eyes well with tears.
“It’s okay to cry, Button,” he whispers in my ear.
I nod my head into his chest.
I let him hold me for a moment before we head downstairs.
Maverick “Viking”
Everyone looks hungover, but that’s to be expected.
The brothers at the Vicious Snakes MC dropped off food and coffee this morning.
Serena looks at Ana, and then at me, with a smirk, “Wow sis, I didn’t know he was so bad at it that he made you cry. Did he not finish the job?”
I look at my sister in-law with shock. “I know how to take care of my woman. Not once have I made her cry from bad sex.”
Ana lets out a laugh. “He finished the job just fine,” she says, shaking her head at her sister.
“It was more than fucking fine,” I mumble under my breath.
The aunts chuckle. “Quit teasing Viking and let’s eat,” Ana’s mom says.
We all make plates and take seats around the kitchen table and island.
“Thanks for everything, Viking,” Ana’s mother says with a small smile.
“It’s no problem. I’m your errand boy for the next few days. Whatever you need.”
I sit back and watch as they work through all the arrangements that need to be made. I’m sent to the store a few times, but I don’t mind.
I don’t spend much time with Ana. Not as much as I want to, but I told them that I would do whatever they need.
They decide to have the funeral in two days. I call my Prez to let him know.
I know that the whole club won’t be able to show up, but at least Dani will want to be there for Ana. I know they have gotten close over the last few months. I may have acted like a disinterested asshole husband, but I knew my wife had found a good friend in Dani.
With the funeral being so soon, it means I only have two days to convince my wife to come home with me.
This morning, I wasn’t able to say “no” to her. I know she was just trying to use me, but I could still see her love for me in her eyes. If she wants to use me, I’m all for it.
I’ve never denied her my body when she asked and, heck, she probably would have asked more if I was home more. I won’t ever say no to her when she wants me.
The day is long, and I’m exhausted by the time everyone is calling it a night. I’m surprised at how much they got done, considering how much they drank last night.
I stay downstairs as everyone leaves to their rooms, and I clean up the dishes and garbage around the house. Once that’s done, I look around the room and realize I’m stalling because I would love to fucking go upstairs and hold my wife all night; but I don’t know if she only let me last night because she was drunk, and I don’t want to overstep right now.
I decide to grab a glass of water and take a seat on the couch. There are no lights on, and I don’t bother turning on the TV. I just sit in the dark thinking of ways to win Ana over.
“Mav?” the soft voice of my wife sounds hesitantly from the stairs.
I get up and walk towards the stairs, looking up at her. “Yeah, Button?”
“Are you coming up to bed?” she asks, sounding unsure.
I rub the back of my neck with a hand. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me in there tonight,” I tell her honestly.
“I do. I don’t want to be alone,” she says, holding a handout to me. I don’t hesitate and practically run up the stairs to her.
My actions cause a small giggle from her. Fuck, I’ve missed that sound.
I grab the hand she’s still holding out, and she turns and leads me to her room.
She closes the door when we are inside, and I take that as my sign to strip down to my boxers. I hope it won’t bother her, but I hate sleeping in clothes. Sleeping in my boxers is still even a bit much for me; I prefer to sleep naked.
When we climb into bed on our sides, she grabs my arm and pulls it around her making me chuckle.
I kiss her on the head and whisper in her ear. “Good night, Button. I love you.”
She doesn’t say it back, but I don’t expect her to.
It only takes seconds for her to fall asleep. I take that as a sign she couldn’t sleep without me before, which is why she came and got me.
I follow her into sleep only a few minutes later. I’m feeling peaceful like I always do when I’m holding her in my arms.
Levi “Ice”
I look around Viking and Ana’s house and am amazed at how much the brothers and I completed since Viking has been gone.
Once they found out where he was, they all came to lend a hand since we are all hoping that Ana comes back with him.
I’ve been staying in a bed in the living room since the rooms need to be repainted and furnished with the shit Viking bought that arrived today. We have been busy; even Dani has been here helping to decorate the space. She lets out an impressed whistle when she firsts sees the place.
“He really wanted to renovate the whole place,” she says as she looks around.
I nod my head. “Yeah, it won’t make her forgive him, but it’s a start in the right direction.”
“Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?” Dani asks.
“Yeah, I’ll head out in the morning. I just want to make sure we’ve got as much done as possible before I head out,” I tell her.
“That’s quite a lot you have been doing. I don’t think I’ve seen you at the clubhouse since Ana left,” she states.
I look away hoping that I’m not fucking blushing. I don’t need her to get the wrong idea. “It’s what club does for each other,” I mumble.
“Maybe, but not as much as you have been doing,” she says slowly.
I let out a sigh. “Just say what you want to say.”
“Are you doing this because you want them?” she asks and, when I look at her, she tries to have an innocent expression on her face.
“I’m doing this because I can see how much they both love each other, but they both seemed to have lost their way. If this helps them get it back, then I feel lucky enough to be a part of that,” I start, but when she raises and eyebrow and crosses her arms, I can’t help but blurt out. “Sure, they are both smoking hot and I’d be lucky if they looked at me that way; but I know that would never happen so, if this is all I get to be a part of, I’m going to have to be okay with that.”
“Good. I’m glad you finally admitted it. Though I wouldn’t say it would never happen because you never know,” she says with a shrug.
I have to believe that this is all I can have. Okay, so I have spent the last few days fantasizing what it would be like living here with them. Being with them. That’s as far as I can take it. I can’t let myself hope for more.
I know I’m signing myself up for more heartbreak by watching a couple happy without me. Sure, the situation is different this time; but I still can’t help but wonder when it’s going to be me? When do I get to find my happy and be able to keep it? I’ll never admit this out loud, but does it ever get fucking lonely sometimes.
I would love it if there was someone, or a couple of people, that I could come home to at the end of the day. I would love to have someone to hold at night and have someone who was excited to just to see me.
When do I get to have that?