MAYA BROOKE
“Come on.” Jade claps her hands as she walks through my front door. “We’re going out.”
I frown as Alice follows behind her. “Where?”
“Somewhere,” she shrugs. “It should be a regular thing getting out of the house.”
“I don’t feel like going out,” I sigh as I shut the door behind me.
Alice narrows her eyes. “Maya, you’ve been cooped up in here for two months. I think some regular fresh air will do you some good.”
I huff out a sigh. “We went out a few days ago.”
“You do know it’s normal for people to leave the house more than once a week?”
My eyes roll. “Fine.”
Jade claps before going to Skye as Alice sets up the pram. I make myself somewhat presentable, but I don’t care anymore, nothing will sort out the mess that I am.
We fit Skye’s car seat into Jade’s car, and we drive off. I glance out at the blue sky, littered with marshmallow-like clouds. It’s then that I realise we’re heading towards campus.
“Whoa,” I say as I sit up in my seat. “Why are we going to campus?”
“To the lake,” Alice says from the passenger seat. “It’s a nice day.”
“But what—”
“We’re not going to central campus,” Jade says slowly. “And besides, we love the lake, it’s one of our favourite places. It’ll be quiet over there.”
I slump back in my seat. The last place I want to go is to our university campus, but the lake is peaceful, and we spent a lot of time there over the last few years.
Once we park up and get Skye into her pram, I pull the hood down to protect her face. Jade pushes her along as we step into line beside her. I inhale the cooling autumn breeze and watch the clouds float through the sky.
Maybe I do need to leave the house more often. I’ve gotten used to those four walls way too much.
We perch on a bench as Alice leaves to grab drinks from the small coffee shop on the corner of the lake. I gently rock Skye’s pram as she makes noise, and I tilt back the hood so she can look out.
“Have you spoken to Finn more?” Jade asks.
“No. He’s been texting me a little, but I’ve not replied. I’m just not ready yet.”
“Will you ever be?” Her mouth slants to the side.
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “I’m still broken.”
Jade takes my hand in hers and gives me a supportive squeeze. “You’re not broken. He should be fucking grovelling,” she states. “Excuse the language.”
“It’s not like I’ve given him a chance to.”
Alice returns with our hot drinks, and I wrap my hands around them. I purposely change the subject because I don’t want to talk about Finn anymore, I want a moment of peace.
I listen as they discuss their final year and what exams they’ll have next summer. My eyes wander over the still lake and the trees that are gently swaying in the wind.
It’s only then I spot a figure in the distance, close enough to recognise them within seconds. I stiffen, and his eyes lock on mine. My stomach feels like it’s been punched.
Jade chuckles. “Right, Maya?”
“Huh?” I snap my attention to her, suddenly on high alert.
Her face drops. “What’s wrong?”
“Finn’s here.” I tremble.
Both of them whip their heads over their shoulder in record time to find him walking down the path, approaching us apprehensively. I suck in a breath and stand from the bench.
“Maya, ar—”
“I’ve got this,” I say, and pray they stay back and not get involved.
They’ll always have my back, but I need to do this alone.
I stalk towards him, far away enough they won’t be able to hear the conversation. Finn has a dark hoodie over his head as he stops and drags his eyes over my face. My chest quivers at the sight of him.
“Hey,” he whispers, burying his hands into his pockets.
I say nothing as I stare at him.
“Sorry, I just—” He clears his throat, blinking back the emotion in his eyes. “I couldn’t not come over after I saw you.”
Finn’s gaze flicks over to the bench briefly, and I know he’s registering Skye’s pram. The second he meets my eyes again, he shifts from foot to foot.
“How are you?”
“Fine,” I bite a little harshly.
He drags his tongue across his bottom lip and sighs. “It’s good to see you.”
I fold my arms over my chest and tilt my head. “What do you want, Finn?”
“Can I see her?”
“No,” I say instantly.
My entire body tenses at the protectiveness that crawls over me. I’m not ready for that yet. He might have the right to see her, but he’s the one who left, and I had to pick up the pieces.
Finn blinks, shoulders drooping at my answer. After a few moments, he nods and glances away, running a hand down his face. “I’m sorry, Maya,” he rasps thickly. “For everything. I am so fucking sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t fix the past.” I try to contain the shiver that rushes through me, but it’s harder than expected. “Sorry doesn’t repair my broken heart.”
Hurt flashes past his eyes, the kind I used to see when he felt guilty and worthless, and it allows uninvited emotion to crawl up my throat. “I know it doesn’t,” he says with tears in his eyes. “But I want to do better, and I want you to know that I’m different.”
My gaze lowers as he takes a step forward.
“Do you want me to get on my knees and beg, Maya? Because I will,” he chokes out, and when I raise my head to look at him, tears are streaming down his cheeks without reservation.
He’s being deadly serious.
The second he starts to bend his knees, I grab onto his wrist, and those green eyes filled with remorse and pain almost make me fall over. “Don’t,” I say through gritted teeth. “Don’t do that.”
He releases a ragged breath as his tears drip off the edge of his jaw. “You owe me nothing, I know, but I can’t just stand here and let you keep doing this by yourself. I should have been there, but I want to be there now. I want to show you how important this is to me. Tell me what I can do.”
My eyes flick between his slowly as a ball feels like it’s been lodged in my throat. “I said I needed time,” I whisper deeply.
Finn purses his lips and sniffles. “Nothing I do will make up for what I did, but please let me try to fix the future, even if I don’t deserve you or Skye.”
I watch him for a long moment, and the devastation on his face. My eyes start to burn, and I attempt to hold back my own tears, but it proves difficult.
“I’ll text you when I’m ready,” I whisper.
Finn’s expression falls to surprise. “When? Not if?”
“As much as I hate this situation, you’re her father,” I say as I raise my head. “But just give me a second to wrap my head around everything.”
“Okay.” He swallows. “You text me, and I’ll be there. Without fail.”
“Goodbye, Finn.” I turn my back on him and walk back to the bench with Jade and Alice’s eyes on me.
When I sit back down, I watch Finn as he walks down the path, glancing over his shoulder once as he wipes his eyes.
“What happened?” Jade asks with wide eyes.
“He wanted to see Skye.”
“And you said no?”
“Not yet, does that make me a bad person?”
“No!” Alice exclaims. “It’s your choice, your call. Not his.”
My lungs release a sharp breath. It’s only now that I realise how badly my hands are shaking until Alice cups them soothingly.
“It’s gonna be okay,” she says supportively.
“It’s so hard because I can literally see how much he cares,” I whimper as I pull my hands away from Alice’s and press them to my face. “Even if he didn’t at the time.”
“As much as I hate him for how he treated you,” Jade sighs, “he could help you, Maya. Obviously, tread lightly, and if he hurts you again, I’ll kill him, but what if he’s telling the truth?”
I clench my eyes shut as I place my hands in my lap. “That’s what’s killing me. If I don’t give him a chance, how can he prove himself?”
Alice nods. “Yeah, I suppose. But god, he is not my favourite person. It’s not our choice, but whatever you choose, we’ll be here regardless.”
“Thanks, girls.” I force a wobbly smile. “My head’s all over the place.”
“It’ll work itself out,” Jade says sincerely. “You’ll always have us.”
I flick my eyes between my best friends, and I’m filled with their devotion because I know they’ll never leave my side, no matter what decisions I make.