Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Hank
“Daddy, you never told me there were so many fluffy goats,” Jasper whispered in awe, his eyes wide as saucers. “And so many colors. And sizes.”
After a six-hour drive from Comfort, including an hour parked in Houston traffic, we had barely been at the hotel ten minutes before Jasper was bouncing like a kid at Christmas, begging to go see the animals at the rodeo.
I was tired and sore from the ride, but I wasn’t about to disappoint him.
We dropped our bags, freshened up quick, and headed straight over.
Tomorrow would be the auction and all the serious business, but tonight, we could just have fun.
“Sugar, I didn’t know you didn’t know,” I said with a laugh as we strolled down the rows of show animals, each in their polished pens waiting for their moment in the ring.
Jasper gave the cows a token glance, but they were too big for him to really fall in love with them up close.
The second we stepped into the goat barn, though, it was like the sun rose in his eyes.
He gasped, clapped his hands, and practically skipped ahead of me, calling back, “Daddy, look at that one. And that one. Oh my gosh, that one has spots. Did you know they came in spots?”
There were more varieties than even I could count: Spanish, Angora, Boer, and a handful of exotics that could easily end up in my herd someday. Jasper flitted from pen to pen, narrating like he was on a live broadcast.
When we reached the Babydoll pen, it was all over.
“Oh my goodness, Daddy, look at them. Look. At. Them.” He pressed against the gate, hands gripping the rail like he might climb in with them if I didn’t watch him close.
He’d seen the small herd at my place, but today, he was like a kid let loose in his favorite candy factory.
I had never met anyone who embraced joy the way Jasper did. Cartoons, a slice of pie, a goofy goat—everything was magic to him. Even when I knew his head was full of the same worries mine was, he still managed to let wonder shine through. Truth was, I envied him a little for it.
“Daddy, how do I get one of these sweethearts back to my house?” he asked, half-dancing, half-spinning as he gestured at the sheep. His curls bounced with him, wild and bright.
I braced for someone nearby to give him a look or make a comment, but nobody did. Folks just smiled at his antics. His happiness was contagious.
“Sorry, sugar,” I said gently. “These are headed somewhere else.”
“But I thought you were here to buy one,” he said, wrinkling his nose.
“Yeah, but we don’t take it home with us.”
“Then what’s the point of buying it?” His disbelief was too sweet, like explaining taxes to a toddler.
“So, we buy it, then donate it back. The kid who raised it gets the money, and the program sells the animal on again.”
“You get some of your money back?”
“Nope. That money stays with the program.”
Jasper blinked, clearly trying to wrap his head around the whole deal. “So if you wanted to, you could keep it?”
“I suppose you could,” I admitted.
“Oh, then I wouldn’t care about the funny looks. If I could take one of these sweet babies home with me, I’d do it in a heartbeat.” He glanced longingly at the sheep again.
We wandered farther into the Babydoll Sheep area, and sure enough, the hearts in Jasper’s eyes never left.
I had to admit, they were some of my favorites too, gentle and sweet with faces like teddy bears.
Jasper didn’t have enough land for a herd, but I sure as hell had a pasture that would do just fine.
And if it meant Jasper was happy, well, that seemed like a small enough thing.
For the next hour, we meandered through the stalls. Jasper’s commentary never let up. He debated which goats had the softest ears, which sheep looked like Disney characters, and which alpacas had the best hairdos. I caught myself chuckling more than once.
One couple nearby caught my attention. One of the men was passionately explaining why they absolutely, positively needed another alpaca.
His partner listened with indulgent eyes, and when he caught my gaze, we shared a look of mutual understanding.
I tipped my chin toward Jasper, who was currently explaining how we could keep Babydoll Sheep in his bedroom if the pastures didn’t work out.
The man chuckled. We were both men doomed to go home with animals, regardless of what we thought we had planned.
I hadn’t expected to be someone’s indulgent Daddy. But now that I was, I was glad it was Jasper.
By the time we had passed through every stall, Jasper came back to me, excitement still dancing in his eyes.
“Daddy, I think we need to hit one other spot.”
“What’s that?”
“How long has it been since you went to a carnival?” he asked, glancing toward the midway. The lights played across his hair and skin, and even if I had wanted to say no, I couldn’t.
I grabbed his hand, wound our fingers with a tug forward, and said, “It’s been too damn long. I don’t even remember the last time.”
His giggle curled around my heart like a brand-new habit I never wanted to break.
I didn’t know if I loved Jasper because I had never been in love before.
But he was the first person I texted every morning and the last every night.
During the day, I checked in just to hear his voice or see his smile.
When I had something to share, he was the first name in my mind.
I had started imagining what it would look like if he stayed forever, and no question, being neighborly boyfriends wouldn’t be enough.
I wanted mornings with him, nights with him, coffee, baths, play, all of it.
If that was love, then maybe I was already there.
But I wasn’t about to declare it in the middle of a carnival with the smell of hamburgers and beer hanging in the air.
I needed time to mull it over, the way I always did.
Today, though, all I wanted was to make sure Jasper had one hell of a good time on his mini-vacation before heading back to his B&B grind.
We wound our way through the throngs of people heading toward the rides.
The airplane ride was big enough that Jasper could climb in, so I let him go.
Every time he circled past, he waved enthusiastically, and I watched him like the proud Daddy I was.
When he climbed off, still buzzing, he grabbed my hand and dragged me toward my most dreaded attraction.
“Daddy, are you ready to go up?”
“Up on here?” My hands went clammy. I wiped them on my jeans and prayed Jasper wouldn’t notice. “That line is long. You planning on packing a lunch?” Distraction was good.
“Oh, it’s not that long. They can load a ton of people each time. Come on.”
Jasper tugged me into line while I practiced breathing exercises.
Every step closer to the front weighed me down.
If Jasper wanted to ride, then we were going to ride.
If that meant plunging to my death in the actual death trap of this incredibly high Ferris wheel, then I guessed that was what we were going to do.
After fifteen minutes, we were at the front of the line.
My heart was pounding hard enough that I thought people could hear it.
Jasper kept up a nonstop stream of chatter about the rodeo and how much he was looking forward to the chili contest, even if they wouldn’t have proper green chili like on the West Coast. His talking helped, at least a little, to keep my mind off the impending plunge back to Earth from a million feet in the air.
“Gentlemen, tickets, please.” Jasper handed over a strip with a grin, and the man opened the small metal gate.
We slipped into the little cage of a seat.
Jasper, bless him, thought it was funny to rock it.
Each sway sent my anxiety higher. I wiped my hands on my jeans again, but this time Jasper noticed.
“Daddy, are you okay?” He caught my hand, then pressed the back of his palm to my forehead. “You don’t feel hot, but you’re sweaty. Are you getting sick?”
I tried to focus on his words, but all I could think about was how high we were climbing and how I was about to plunge to my death in this rickety carnival Ferris wheel.
Nobody wanted a Daddy who was scared of heights.
Nobody wanted a Daddy who was practically hyperventilating in a cheap metal bucket.
“I just don’t like heights, sugar,” I said as evenly as I could. My shallow breathing betrayed me. It felt like my heart might stop altogether. This wasn’t how I wanted to go. I hadn’t even figured out if I loved Jasper, and if I died on this Ferris wheel, I never would.
“Daddy, why didn’t you tell me you’re scared of heights?”
“I’m not scared of heights,” I stammered. “I just don’t like them.”
“How is that different?” Jasper asked carefully.
“I have no idea, but it’s the lie I tell myself,” I whispered.
At that exact second, the Ferris wheel started to move, and my stomach dropped out.
My fate was sealed. I was about to die right here at the Saddle Up Stock Show and Rodeo.
My parents would be sad. Faust and Bert would be sadder.
And Jasper would be left without a Daddy. A tragedy all around.
“You didn’t say anything!” Jasper exclaimed as we both looked down at my white-knuckled grip on the seat.
I couldn’t find my voice, so I managed a shaky nod.
“Daddy, it’s okay. I’m here.” His voice was calm, more steady than I had ever heard it.
“Here, I’m going to put my hand right here.
” He laid his hand over mine. “Now just listen to me.”
And I did.