Chapter 16 #2
Jasper talked about everything he could think of, from the weather to silly stories about his brothers growing up.
As long as I kept my focus on his voice, I didn’t have to think about how far off the ground we were or what my body would look like when it came crashing back down.
His slow, steady voice filled the small enclosure, drowning everything else out.
What had first felt like dangerous rocking began to feel like a gentle sway in the wind.
The entire time, my hand never left his. His touch grounded me to the bench. At some point, I managed to loosen my white-knuckle grip and actually hold his hand instead. I know I squeezed too hard, but Jasper never complained. He only squeezed back just as firmly and let me breathe through it.
It might have been hours or maybe only ten minutes, but eventually, we were back on the ground.
The attendant opened the door, and I stumbled out into the light.
Jasper still held my hand, fingers tangled tight.
My breathing was easier now, though still rough.
I made it to the fence line and leaned against it to steady myself.
Jasper stood in front of me, close enough that our chests brushed with each breath.
One of his hands stayed in mine while the other stroked across my chest until I calmed down.
“Daddy,” he said softly. “You went up even though you didn’t want to, and you survived. I am so proud of you.”
“Sugar, the only reason I didn’t have a full panic attack was because you were there.” My voice was rough. “But I don’t think I want to do it again anytime soon.”
“Promise, Daddy, from now on, we’ll keep our feet on the ground.”
“Just because I don’t like heights doesn’t mean you can’t. If you want to ride, I’ll wait for you. Don’t worry about me.”
“I don’t want you bored while I ride.”
“I wouldn’t be bored. I’d be waitin’ for you.”
Jasper gave me one of his patented smiles, the kind that made my chest ache.
He finally stepped back, still holding my hand, and led us farther into the carnival.
We wandered up and down the rows, stopping for a tennis ball toss here, a strongman smash there.
Through it all, Jasper stayed glued to my side with an easy smile and a quick laugh.
It was the first time in all my years of visiting the stock show that I had even bothered with this part of the grounds.
I had never seen the point. But with Jasper beside me, I couldn’t imagine skipping it.
His joy, his smile, his laughter gave me something I didn’t know how to put into words.
Every minute I spent with him, it felt more and more like love.
“Daddy, you any good at shooting?” Jasper asked slyly as we stopped in front of a midway game. The barker called him over, and Jasper reached for his wallet, but I caught his hand.
“Sugar, you’re out of your mind if you think you’re payin’ for anything. Put that shit away.”
Jasper tucked his wallet back, then stepped close, too close. His hand slid up my chest to curl around the back of my neck.
“Sorry, Daddy. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He swayed deliberately against me, and I had to swallow the groan that threatened to escape.
“You’re playing with fire,” I whispered.
“Isn’t that how you get sugar to melt?” he teased, brushing his torso against me again. His sinful chuckle told me he felt exactly what he was doing.
“Boy, you better behave yourself,” I murmured.
“Yeah? And if I don’t?”
“Then you’ll find out what happens to naughty boys.”
I took the offered air gun from the barker, propping it against my shoulder.
I sent up a quick prayer to the carnival gods—honestly, to anyone who might be listening—that I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of my boy.
These games were rigged, everybody knew it, but I tried to remember all the tips I’d heard over the years.
My first shot was a total mess. Jasper giggled and clapped anyway, bouncing beside me like I had just set off fireworks.
Second time, I steadied, held my breath, and nailed it dead center.
That got me a squeal and him tugging on my arm like I was the biggest hero in Texas.
The next three fell in quick succession.
I missed the fourth, but managed to pull myself back with the fifth and sixth.
“Daddy, look at you.” Jasper was jumping up and down, clapping his hands, the sound echoing over the midway noise. He didn’t care who heard, and I loved him for it. He was never going to dim his joy to make someone else more comfortable.
“Good job, sir,” the barker said flatly. “You can pick any toy off the far wall.”
That set Jasper off into a full-blown crisis. He studied every last stuffie like he was picking a jewel from a royal crown.
“Ohhh, Daddy, look at that one. No, wait, that one. Oh, that raccoon is so funny. But the cow, look at the cow. And there’s a pig too. Ugh, I can’t. This is too hard. What if I pick the wrong one?” He groaned dramatically, dragging both hands down his face.
The poor worker glanced at me with pleading eyes. I tried not to laugh.
“Sugar, I think you’re going to have to let this man get back to his job if you can’t pick soon,” I said.
“But, Daddy,” Jasper whined, spinning back to me, his curls bouncing with the movement, “they’re all so cute. I can’t decide.” He pouted, then brightened. “You pick.”
The barker’s eyebrows shot up so high I thought they might disappear into his hairline, and his jaw dropped. I leveled him with a scowl that made him snap his mouth shut. Nobody was saying a word about what Jasper called me.
“Close your eyes,” I told Jasper. “I’ll surprise you.”
He obeyed immediately, lashes fanning against his cheeks.
Too sweet. Too trusting. I couldn’t help leaning in to press a kiss to his mouth, lingering for just a heartbeat before I pulled back.
Any longer, and we would have gotten ourselves in trouble right there on the midway.
I snuck in another one because my willpower sucked when it came to Jasper.
I motioned for the Highland cow off the wall, the fluffy one with the ridiculous shaggy bangs. The worker rolled his eyes and handed it over, but I ignored him. So long as Jasper liked it, then some random guy’s thoughts on us weren’t important.
“You can open your eyes now,” I said, feeling strangely nervous. It was just a carnival toy, but it felt bigger than that. Mostly, because I wanted it to be more.
“Daddy.” Jasper gasped so loud that people turned. “This is perfect. Oh my gosh, look at his hair. He’s the cutest cow I’ve ever seen.” He hugged it tight, kissed the top of its head, and bounced on his toes. “This is the best present I’ve ever gotten. Ever.”
The way he looked at me in that moment, like I had hung the moon with a five-dollar game prize, had me standing taller than I had any right to.
“You’re welcome, sugar,” I murmured, ruffling his curls until they stuck up the way I liked. “Glad I picked right.”
Jasper didn’t hesitate. He wrapped his arms around my waist, tipped up on his toes, and kissed me, firm and sure.
“What’s that for?” I asked, though my hand had already found his back.
“I don’t want anyone else getting ideas about you winning them stuffies,” he said so emphatically that I couldn’t help chuckling.
“Sure. Like there’s a whole line of men waiting to steal me away.”
“That’s because they don’t know about your superior gaming skills. Or your excellent taste in stuffies.” Jasper sniffed, chin tipped up like he was royalty.
“Maybe we ought to head back to the hotel so you can remind me exactly where I belong before the auction.”
“That’s a real good idea, Daddy. You’re a clever bunny.”
I didn’t even wait long enough to roll my eyes or pretend to be annoyed at his silly pet name.
Instead, I grabbed his hand and hauled him through the crowd.
Jasper kept the Highland cow tucked under his arm like it was the crown jewel of Texas.
My boy was going to put me in my place, and I couldn’t have been happier about it.