Chapter Fifteen
Fifteen
Last night had been a mistake.
Kate should have known better.
Why had she been so foolish? So desperate for him? So out of control? So unashamedly wanton in her desire for him?
Why hadn’t she come to her senses sooner?
Why, after their urgent, desperate need for one another had finally been satiated, had she instigated a second love-making session, equally as enthusiastic and passionate as the first.
And why, when he had initiated that third, slower, softer, gentler hour or so exploring every inch of her, had she not stopped herself from revealing, vocally and physically, how much pleasure he was giving her?
Then, to have such an intense hunger this morning to do it all over again was as unforgivable as it was unexpected. And to act on that need, was nothing short of madness.
Kate hadn’t had a relationship for more than ten years. On top of that, she was trying to adapt to all the recent changes in her life. The last thing she needed was yet another complication.
Kate lived in Chelmsford; Raff lived in Oxford, although in a few months, he would be living in Bluewater Bay. Not that that move would make a material difference to the distance between them.
He was embarking on a new chapter in his life, in addition to continuing with his current career. All his time and attention would be needed on that.
She needed to prepare herself for what was becoming all too apparent; her beloved daughter, who had so recently moved out, would soon be living several hundred of miles away, in Meribel in France.
Having a long-distance relationship with her daughter was going to be tough enough; Kate didn’t need a long-distance relationship with Raff added into the mix.
True, she could see Raff when she came to visit Granny Viv, but that actually made things worse. She would have to split her time between the two, because she couldn’t visit one without the other.
And, although Raff hadn’t discussed his future living arrangements with her once he retired, he would be sharing the running of Rafferty and Hope’s Rescue Centre for Dogs with his parents, and, more than likely, sharing the farmhouse of what was formerly Old Farm.
Kate would be staying with her gran when she visited Bluewater Bay.
Neither home would be conducive to she and Raff having a relationship, especially not if last night and this morning were an indication of what that relationship might entail.
An unhelpful thought that only served to make her want to have sex with Raff yet again.
What. Was. Wrong. With. Her?
This was all so unlike her.
Raff wasn’t the first man to show an interest in her over the last ten years. There hadn’t been that many but there had been a few. Not once had she felt any interest in any of them. Not once had she considered having a fling.
Even when she was married, sex hadn’t been that important to her. Yes, she enjoyed it but she could take it or leave it. She wasn’t driven by a need to have a man in her life.
The thought of being single didn’t bother her; it was the thought of being lonely that had recently become a concern.
And yet, from almost the moment she had met Raff, the man had been on her mind. Now, even more so.
Was that because of some undeniable attraction? One she had never felt for anyone until now.
Or was it because of her fear of the future?
Were her concerns about that, manifesting into false feelings for this man?
This gorgeous man who was sleeping contentedly beside her right now.
This man who had made her smile, and laugh, and open up about things in a way she never had with any man before.
This man who had marched into the sea for her – or for Rufus – it made little difference for whom he had performed his kind act.
This man who had made her feel things she had not thought possible.
This man who had made love to her so skilfully, so passionately, so satisfyingly, not to mention so frequently.
This man who, as crazy as this was to admit, had already stolen her heart.
Something she had been certain no man could ever do.