Chapter Sixteen
Sixteen
‘Good morning.’ Raff smiled at Kate the moment he opened his eyes.
‘Good morning,’ she replied somewhat guiltily, having been staring at him for some time.
‘Did you sleep well?’
He moved closer to her and planted a soft, wet, kiss on her lips, igniting a spark in her, like the pilot light on a boiler. And when his fingers brushed a strand of hair from her cheek, she was burning hot for him yet again.
And yet again, she surrendered to her longing, her body aching for him.
‘I can’t believe how much I want you, Kate,’ he groaned. ‘I’ve never felt like this before.’
She wanted to tell him she felt the same but her need for his lips on hers was too great. Instead, she smothered his words – and hers – in a deep and passionate kiss.
They remained wrapped in one another’s arms for some time and it was Kate who made the first move to get out of bed. She retrieved the unworn shirt he had tossed on the bed last night, from the floor where it had fallen.
‘May I?’ she asked.
‘Be my guest,’ he replied.
Raff watched her in silence as she slid her arms into the sleeves and did up a few buttons but his devilish smile and the twinkle in his eyes spoke volumes.
‘Don’t even think it,’ she said, flattered and excited that he clearly wanted her again. But equally conscious of the fact that this relationship couldn’t go anywhere.
‘Then don’t look so sexy. I’m only human. It would take a god to resist you.’
‘Raff?’ she said after a moment’s hesitation.
‘Yes, Kate?’
‘I … I think we need to talk.’
Immediately, his demeanour changed, and he sat upright in bed.
‘Do we?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why do I get the feeling that I’m not going to like this?’
‘I’m sorry, Raff,’ she said.
‘Sorry?’ His voice was subdued. ‘Are you about to tell me that last night – and this morning – were merely a fling as far as you’re concerned?’
‘No. Well … yes. In a way. I hadn’t intended last night to happen, believe me. I’m still not really sure how it did. And if the weather hadn’t been so bad, and a cab had been available, I’m almost certain I’d have simply gone home after dinner.’
‘Almost certain? I’m not entirely sure how it happened either.
But, unlike you it seems, I’m delighted it did.
Maybe not quite so delighted now. But until a second ago I thought we had something pretty special happening between us.
I thought we might have … well, I thought we might start dating or something. ’
‘We live miles apart, Raff.’
‘Not that many miles.’
‘You’ve got your hands full with the new rescue centre.’
‘I’d rather have my hands full of you. I can manage both. No. Sorry. Manage is the wrong word, obviously. I’m floundering right now. This has taken me aback. I would like to have both you, and the rescue centre, in my life.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘Surely you can see that’s not possible. You’re forgetting you also have a career.’
‘From which I’ll be retiring in a matter of months. I accept the present situation isn’t ideal, but surely we could work something out?’
‘I … I don’t want to have to “work something out”, Raff. I’ve got more than enough going on in my life at the moment – as have you. Neither of us need yet another complication.’
‘Complication? Is that how you see me? I don’t want to “complicate” your life, Kate.
Don’t you think there’s a possibility that we could enhance each other’s lives?
Didn’t you enjoy last night? Forget the fact that we had sex, for now.
I’m talking about spending the evening together.
Personally, I’d love to spend more evenings like that. And some days.’
‘I don’t think I will ever be able to “forget” that we had sex. And yes, of course I enjoyed our evening. A little too much, perhaps. And that’s the point. If we see one another again we’ll probably want to see even more of each other and we both know where that will lead.’
‘To having more sex? Sorry. Not the right time for foolish quips. Look, Kate. I’m not asking you to move in with me or anything.
I’m not even asking you to commit to having a relationship with me if you don’t want one.
But why can’t we see one another again? We don’t have to fix a date right now.
Nothing has to be set in stone. Why can’t we simply be two people who enjoy being together – and be together when we can? Why is that such a problem?’
‘Because things always start off like that and then one of us will end up wanting more. And one of us will get hurt.’
‘If that’s your only concern, then it isn’t a problem. Because it’s pretty clear that I’m the one who wants more, so I’ll be the one getting hurt. And I’m fine with that, if it means I can see you again.’
She met his look and held it. ‘Not necessarily. I … I want to see you again. I do. But … on the other hand. I don’t. Because I have a feeling I could … fall for you … in a big way.’
‘You could? Really? And that’s a problem because…?’
‘Because, as I just said, one of us – or maybe both of us – will end up getting hurt.’
‘Why are you so certain about that? Isn’t there a possibility that we could both feel the same about one another, and date for, oh, I don’t know, days, or weeks, or months, or years, and then move into together, or get married, and live happily ever after?’
‘No. Because that’s the stuff of fairytales. We’ve got complicated lives and complications only lead to friction.’
Really? So … your mum and her fiancé, and your daughter and her fiancé, are doomed to failure?’
‘What! No. You can’t compare Mum and Frank’s relationship, and Beth and Avery’s with … whatever this is here.
‘Can’t I? I think I can, because their lives sound fairly complicated from what you’ve told me, and yet, they seem to be blissfully happy.’
‘That’s because they’ve all found their soulmates. They were meant to be together. Mum’s known Frank for years. Beth’s known Avery for over a year. Well, strictly speaking that’s not entirely true, but … that doesn’t matter. They’re the perfect couple.’
‘And yet at one time or another they were all strangers. They met, and something developed between them. We were strangers. Now we’re not. Why can’t we wait and see what develops between us?’
‘Because … because I don’t think anything will. Not like that.’
‘Is that what you genuinely believe? Or are you just saying all this because you’re scared? I’m scared too, Kate. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this. A long time since I had a serious relationship. But we don’t need to put any pressure on ourselves.’
Kate shook her head. ‘I … I just don’t think this is what I want. I … I wanted a rescue dog, not a man.’
‘Ah, yes. A dog is so much better than a man. I do agree with that to a certain extent. But is there any reason why you can’t have both?’
‘I told you my reasons. There’s just too much going on in my life right now.’
He studied her face intently and then he let out a long sigh, dragged a hand through his hair, and slowly shook his head.
‘I could continue to argue this point, but I can see your mind is made up. I’m sorry you feel like this, Kate, and if you change your mind, you know how to contact me, and where I’ll be.
I’ll be happy to hear from you. I’ll get dressed and take you home.
’ He tossed back the covers revealing his nakedness in all its glory.
‘No!’ Kate shrieked, turning away from him. ‘Please don’t. I’ll call a cab.’
‘You may not be able to get one.’
‘I’ll worry about that if it comes to it. I really am sorry, Raff. Good luck with everything.’