Chapter 11
Molly
Molly’s fingertips brushed the soft sunflower petals as she walked. Soon the flowers would be taller than her, but until then she would continue her daily walks through the fields.
The sun beat down on her face, but it didn’t matter. Molly would always look to the sky when out walking. A reminder she was free and alive. Breathing in fresh air was a balm to any malady as far as she was concerned.
Today was a day that Molly needed the freedom of those sunflower fields. For most people, a birthday was to be celebrated with friends and family. For Molly, it was a time of reflection and healing. Ever since she found herself homeless as a teenager, Molly spent her birthday alone, contemplating all that had happened and all that could be.
There were a handful of people in Molly’s life that knew her history. Understood how tough the path had been for her to walk. But none of them could walk in her shoes. There was still a tendril of hope that one day she would be welcomed back with open arms and acceptance. Even after all these years, that ember still burned in her heart.
The part that hurt the most was that her brother hadn’t always been so closed-minded and bigoted. Before their parents died, Alan had been a kind and caring brother. He nurtured their relationship so tenderly. They spent all their time together, playing and learning. But then everything changed. Once their parents were gone, Alan sought refuge in the Pastor. A man who only preached hate. He taught her brother that punishing his so-called wicked sister would bring him closer to God. The Pastor’s hushed words played on a continuous loop in Alan’s ear, distorting his entire worldview, and turning him into someone unrecognizable. Someone who saw violence as a way of cleansing his sinful family, making them pure in God’s eyes once again. But Molly knew better. The only person Alan saved was himself. His behavior only served to keep his precious reputation amongst the churchgoers intact.
The memories still brought tears to Molly’s eyes. One man had dismantled a lifetime of love and support with his poison, resulting in Molly’s banishment from everything she’d ever known.
But she survived. Molly would always survive. And she would always keep trying to win back her brother. It was almost a guarantee that Alan threw away her letters every month, but no matter what, Molly would keep sending them. Her parents would want her to keep trying.
Fantasizing about what could have been was possibly the hardest part of her birthday. What if Alan had accepted her? Would she have spent every year with Alan and Maureen? Could they have had holidays together? As couples—that’s if Molly ever found “The One.” So many what ifs. Today was the only day Molly allowed herself to ponder those unanswerable questions. The other three hundred and sixty-four days of the year were about the kids that needed her help. They deserved her full attention.
A voice calling in the distance made Molly pause. She could see Chelsea’s red hair bobbing up and down as she jogged to catch up. “Hey, here you are. I’ve been looking for you.”
“The day is so beautiful, I thought I’d take a walk.” Not a lie, but not the entire truth, either. Chelsea’s presence irked Molly. They’d seen each other the night before and Molly made it clear she wanted the day to herself. In her heart, she knew Chelsea was just being a good friend. Few people understood Molly’s need for isolation on her birthday. Another part of Molly knew Chelsea was trying to get close to her emotionally. Their friends with benefits system had been successful throughout their friendship, but Molly felt a shift in Chelsea’s feelings.
“I know you wanted to be alone, but I thought we could grab a picnic or something. Just the two of us. I won’t even speak if that’s what you need.”
Molly squeezed Chelsea’s hand gently. “Thanks for the offer, but not today.” Chelsea’s disappointment was visible, but not enough to make Molly change her mind. This was her day, and she needed it to be just hers.
“Can I see you tomorrow, then?”
“Sure, tomorrow.” Molly smiled and then turned to leave. They needed to talk, but not now. That conversation could wait. And, if Molly were being completely honest, she needed Chelsea for a little longer. It was selfish, she knew that, but Chelsea gave Molly the outlet she needed. Maybe one more night together before Molly inevitably shattered the peace. Hopefully, Chelsea would still want to be friends without the benefits.
However, today was not the day to be making any decisions regarding anything. That’s why being on her own was the best thing—for everyone. Bessie, the ranch owner and head of the shelter, knew the reason Molly wanted to be alone and was more than happy to take over her duties for the day.
There were four kids currently living on the ranch. Four young adults cast aside—just as Molly had been—because of who they loved. Working with four teenagers was difficult, both mentally and physically, but Molly couldn’t see herself doing anything else. From the moment she was given a safe place to land—months after she was cast out—Molly dedicated herself to helping kids like her.
So far, working with different charities and shelters meant Molly had traveled most of the country. Though she loved each city, Molly never found one that felt like home. So, she kept moving, one city after the next. It was only when she met Ruth that Molly considered stopping and settling down. But when Bessie contacted her and offered her the job on the ranch, that old tugging feeling emerged. There was so much good she could do at the ranch.
Deciding to take the job was never in question. Molly felt guilty about that daily, because she knew Ruth should have factored into her decision more. But the ugly truth was, she hadn’t. Molly loved Ruth and really had wanted to settle down. Maybe it just wasn’t in her future? There would always be LGBTQI+ kids in need, and while Molly could help, that’s what she would do. Always.
How could she expect a partner to understand that, let alone allow her the freedom to do what she needed to do, without the promise of more? As she thought about it, Molly wasn’t sure if she would ever settle in one city. In her heart, she knew that if she found a place that made her feel at home, she would stop. Not the charity work; but the roaming.
Maybe that’s when Molly could safely give her heart to someone. When she felt at home. Her wandering thoughts brought her full circle to Alan. If he’d only loved her more, she would have still had her home.
A gentle breeze shifted the straw hat sitting delicately on Molly’s head. Placing her hand on top to stop it from taking off, Molly inhaled deeply, letting the summer air fill her entirely.
All she had to do was get through the rest of today and she would be fine. All she had to do was write Alan another letter and keep her fingers crossed this one would be the letter that made him contact her.
◆◆◆
The dawn had barely broken, but Molly was up, showered and dressed, ready to start the day. As usual, it took her a few minutes to stuff the previous day in a box and secure it in the depths of her mind. Molly had her allotted time. Now it was back to business. Helping her kids. And that’s what they were.
Every young person Molly helped felt like hers. They became a part of her family. The proof was on her bedroom wall. Hundreds of pictures of Molly and the people she’d helped, as well as the beautiful people that she worked with professionally.
Standing for a minute to soak up all the love and joy that poured from the Polaroids helped Molly dispel the melancholy her birthday brought. The ranch was silent as she made her way to the kitchen. To help the kids feel at home, Molly and Bessie had a routine. Breakfast at eight, in the large kitchen. It wasn’t mandatory for everyone to sit together. Sometimes, one or more of the residents weren’t at the stage where they could socialize. But Molly encouraged the shared time.
As well as feeling like the ranch was home, Molly and Bessie wanted to foster the feeling of family. The residents ranged from sixteen to eighteen. And Molly knew that having friends to lean on was imperative in the healing process.
There had been plenty of times when Molly dealt with a kid that fought the idea of getting close to other people their age. The idea of rejection was often far too potent to allow their barriers down. However, Molly also knew those kids were the ones that benefitted the most from having supportive peers.
That all being said was the reason Molly and Bessie tried to encourage the teenagers to bond, lean on each other and become support pillars. Micah, Liam, Courtney, and Lisa had so far bonded well. Micah was the oldest, they just turned eighteen. Courtney and Liam were seventeen-year-old twins, and Lisa was a few weeks away from turning seventeen.
So far, the four of them were getting along well. Lisa was the newest addition. Her background left Molly wanting to commit murder. When Lisa was caught with a girl, her mother—if she could even be called that—beat her. If that wasn’t bad enough, her mother’s boyfriend raped Lisa, believing it would set the girl straight.
Molly had years of experience and unfortunately Lisa’s story wasn’t unique and yet it still took Molly’s breath away when she heard the heinous acts committed against these young and vulnerable people.
Lisa adapted well to the ranch. It took her a little time to open up to Molly and Bessie. Even longer to open up to the other kids. But Molly could proudly say that Lisa was doing so well now. Her therapy sessions were really paying off, and Lisa had become an integral part of the ranch.
Thinking of the youngsters asleep upstairs boosted Molly’s resolve. This is where she belonged. Well, right now, she belonged in front of the stove because teenagers were savages if they didn’t get fed. First thing first, though, Molly needed caffeine.
Bessie would be down shortly and they would spend a little time discussing the ranch and any jobs that needed taking care of. They’d also go over each teenager’s case, filling each other in on any incidents or worries. Thankfully, none of them gave Molly cause for concern.
Creaking wood signaled Bessie’s arrival. The four-foot-five firecracker bounced into the room. Molly had known Bessie for nearly ten years. Their paths crossed several times over the years and they’d formed a friendship. When they first met, Bessie worked for a nonprofit, while her wife tended to the ranch. Three years ago Carol, Bessie’s wife, passed away. Bessie opened up the huge ranch house to homeless LGBTQI+ kids so she could still tend to the farm.
Now Bessie was getting older and needed support. As soon as Molly got the offer to move to California and help Bessie, she’d taken it. They were a formidable team and, with the aid of different charities, they’d helped dozens of teens find their place in the world.
“Coffee’s up,” Molly called over her shoulder. Both women drank a bucket of coffee first thing in the morning.
“Oh, you’re my favorite. Do you know that, Molly Parsons?”
“And so I should be,” Molly chuckled. “What’s on the agenda today?”
“I’m taking Lisa to therapy at eleven. Micah has that job interview at two-thirty, but they insist on going alone.”
“They just want to feel in charge of themselves, can’t fault that.”
“That and the guy who runs the coffee cart next to the building where the interview is being held is hot, according to Liam.”
“Ah, okay, they don’t want us senior citizens cramping their style,” Molly laughed, rolling her eyes playfully.
“Courtney wants to help in the fields today, which is fine by me.” Bessie sat down at the kitchen table, her feet dangling an inch above the ground.
“I’ll work with Courtney today. It’s been a minute since we’ve had some time to talk.”
“Is there something in particular you want to talk with her about?”
“No, I just want to check in. Liam has been spending more and more time with Micah, and I just want to make sure Courtney is okay. They’ve only had each other for so long. I don’t want Courtney to feel pushed out now Liam is exploring away from their little support bubble.”
“Good idea. Is Chelsea coming over later?” Bessie’s eyes twinkled. Molly rolled her eyes again. Bessie had tried several times to set Molly up. When that didn’t work, she went all in on Molly and Chelsea’s relationship. No matter how many times Molly explained she wasn’t interested in more than they had, Bessie continued to push.
“She is coming over later, but you need to simmer down. We are friends and that’s it. I told you I don’t want more than that, so listen, you stubborn old goat.”
“Hey, less of the old,” Bessie scowled.
“But you agree with the stubborn part of that sentence?” Molly grinned.
“I just don’t want you closing yourself off, Molly. We both know how hard this line of work is. Everyone needs someone to go home to.”
“Not everyone, Bessie. And besides, I didn’t say I never wanted that, I just haven’t found The One yet. Pushing me towards Chelsea isn’t going to magically resolve that.”
“So, it’s just not there for you, between you and Chelsea, I mean?”
“That’s what I’m saying. Chelsea is a great friend and yes, great in bed, but she doesn’t feel—”
“Like home?” Bessie finished.
“Exactly. For now, I just want to concentrate on this place. I promise I’m not shutting myself away.”
“Well, alright then. I’ll stop harassing you about Chelsea, but I can’t promise that I won’t interfere if someone comes along who could be yours forever.”
Molly rounded the table, so she was standing behind Bessie. Bending down, Molly wrapped her arms around Bessie’s shoulders and squeezed. “Shall we get breakfast started?”
The rest of the morning went by without Bessie bringing up Molly’s love life again. Micah, Courtney, Liam and Lisa demolished their food before scurrying back to their rooms. Molly caught up on a few chores before Courtney came back down, ready to start work outside.
“How is it going, Court?” Molly asked as they walked through the fields inspecting the sunflowers.
Courtney shrugged. “I’m fine.” The lack of enthusiasm worried Molly.
“Hey, come on now, you know better than that. Talk to me.”
Courtney stopped and sighed heavily. “I’m totally crushing on Lisa.”
That wasn’t where Molly thought Courtney was going to go. “Okay, and so why do you look like someone just ate the last double stuffed Oreo? Having a crush is supposed to be a good thing, Court.”
“Yeah, if the object of that crush felt the same way,” Courtney mumbled.
“Lisa doesn’t feel the same way?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You haven’t talked to her?”
“Are you nuts? I’m not going to tell her just for her to say she doesn’t like me back.”
Molly knew Courtney found rejection hard, just like most people, but for these kids, the act of rejection was deeper than most. Understandably, they shielded themselves from further hurt, but often that led them to reject others first.
“You’ve written her off before even giving her a choice,” Molly began softly. “I understand your worry. You know I do.” Molly was always upfront with people about her past. When kids came to the ranch, they needed to know the people helping them understood what they were going through.
“I know,” Courtney whispered.
“She might not feel the same way, and yeah, that would suck, but on the flip side, she could be interested. Court, sweetheart, if you never take the risk, you could end up losing out on something wonderful. That is the same with everything in life, honey.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Molly knew the conversation was over and Courtney needed the space to process. “Come on, let’s go grab a lemonade. It’s hot as hell out here.”
They ambled back to the ranch slowly. Courtney dropped on to the porch bench while Molly fetched them a pitcher of ice-cold lemonade. Sometimes, sitting in silence, looking out over the sunflower fields was all the therapy needed. Courtney did better when given the room to work through her thoughts, but she also needed to feel she had support close by. Sitting on the porch watching the world go by was the perfect compromise.
“Hey, who’s that?” Courtney asked a few minutes later. Molly had been in her own world and hadn’t noticed the car which wound its way up towards the house.
“No idea. Maybe someone is lost?” Molly commented. They weren’t due to have another house guest, and it wasn’t Bessie’s car. Micah had only just left, so it wasn’t him, either.
Standing from the bench, Molly made her way down the steps. The car came to a stop a few meters away. Molly’s eyes locked with a young woman sitting in the front passenger seat. Eyes that were so similar to her own, Molly stumbled back. The passenger door opened slowly, and the girl stepped out. Molly froze. With long honey-colored hair, blue eyes and the same dimples as her, Molly knew she was looking at Alan’s daughter.
“Hi,” the girl breathed. “I’m Faith. Um… I’m your niece.”