Chapter 16
Carmen
Carmen’s mind seemed to be hyper focused on all things Molly Parsons at the moment. From overhearing Molly speaking with Enid and Bessie—because their voices traveled from the front porch—to attending the high school to watch Molly talk to a group of young adults, Carmen couldn’t focus on anything else.
Well, maybe the fact that Faith had told her she’d masturbated with her girlfriend for the first time. Is this what being a parent feels like? Carmen felt honored that Faith felt comfortable enough to have that conversation with her, but it would have been nice to receive a little warning. Maybe she could have prepared her answer better. Molly would have known what to say. She wouldn’t have felt embarrassed.
Ah, there she went again, allowing her mind to settle on Molly Parsons. It was plain to see why Molly worked with young adults. The talk she’d given at the school was informative and confident. Molly naturally oozed calm, allowing the kids to feel instantly at ease with her.
A pool of envy filled Carmen’s stomach. She loved being a graphic designer, but was it something she was passionate about? The businesses she’d started served a purpose. Now she and Mateo were financially stable, Carmen had retreated to the safety of her home and laptop. Watching Molly work as hard as she did to help those around her made Carmen a little ashamed. Not everyone could do what Molly did, but Carmen could definitely do more, be more. These kids struggled and fought, but they never gave up, even when they wanted to. Could Carmen say the same?
The fight to survive and the fight to live were very different things. Carmen and Mateo spent a lifetime fighting to survive. Mateo was making the transition to living his life. A transition he wanted Carmen to embrace as well. It seemed everyone around her fought their demons and were moving on to better things. Why couldn’t she?
“You look full of thought,” Molly’s sweet voice whispered close to Carmen’s ear. Once again, Carmen squealed in shock at the unexpected presence.
“Holy crap,” she gasped.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so jumpy,” Molly laughed, settling down on the grass next to Carmen. After they’d returned from the high school, Carmen had taken it upon herself to wander around the property.
The Sunflower Ranch was huge. It must take an awful lot of work to maintain. Looking out onto the fields must make the slog worth it, though. The view was spectacular. Before long, Carmen stopped walking and had taken a seat on the ground, quite content sitting in silence, contemplating.
“It’s Mateo’s fault. He always liked to sneak up on me as a kid. Little asshole.”
“You two are incorrigible,” Molly chuckled. Carmen smiled.
“It really was a pleasure to watch you with the kids today, Molly.”
“Nothing makes me happier.”
“I can see. Do you think you will stay here?” The question had been on Carmen’s mind. Molly liked to go where she was needed. Whether that was because she liked to spread the love or because she needed to keep moving, Carmen wasn’t sure. What worried Carmen now was Faith. It was already going to be heart-wrenching to say goodbye to her if she stayed with Molly. But what if Molly took her on the road? Carmen might not get the chance to see either of them again for a very long time, and that didn’t feel good.
“Bessie needs me. The farm and kids are too much for her to handle and, to be honest, this place feels close to a home.”
“I can see why.”
“Do you think Faith likes it here?”
“Sure, although her head is in the clouds at the minute,” Carmen grinned.
“Ah, yes, Nathalie.”
“They’re good together. I’ve known Nat nearly her entire life. She’s one of the good ones and she seems completely enamored with Faith.”
“I’d say the feeling is mutual, if Faith’s goofy face is anything to go by,” Molly laughed.
“She’s changed so much, Molly. I’m in awe of her confidence.”
“I think she had wonderful role models.”
“Are you going to ask her to stay?”
“I want to give her the option.”
Carmen nodded, her gaze shifting back to the golden fields. “Faith will love the idea, I’m sure of it. All she’s wanted is a family member who understands and loves her for who she is.”
“I’d say she’s had that family for a few weeks now.”
A lump formed in Carmen’s throat. “Thanks,” she whispered. Surprise etched itself across her face when she felt Molly’s hand slip into hers. They sat silently for a few minutes, peacefully enveloped in the calm California air.
“Hey, I took a look at the ranch’s website. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. So, what do you think?”
“Honestly?”
“No, lie to me please,” Molly grinned.
“It needs work.”
“Yeah, I guessed as much. To be honest, I’m not very techy and Bessie, well, she’s still using a rotary phone so…”
“I can help, if you’d like?” Carmen spent a few minutes in bed this morning browsing the ranch website. It was there as a landing page for the work Bessie and Molly did with the kids they housed, but also for the local shelters and charities they worked with. The website was missing some key ingredients, and the design was outdated. Carmen might not actively save young lives like Molly and Bessie did, but she could certainly put her skills to good use and help them out.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” Molly balked.
“Good thing you didn’t ask then, isn’t it?” Carmen quipped. “I really would be happy to help. I have my laptop with me, and it wouldn’t take long for me to come up with a few design ideas.”
“Are you being serious right now?”
Carmen couldn’t quite place the mix of emotions zipping across Molly’s face. She did not expect to be tackled by the woman and given a hug that rid her lungs of air. “Molly,” she wheezed, unable to breathe.
“Oh shit, sorry, I’m… I’m just so thankful. Places like this need all the help they can get. I’ll see what we have set aside moneywise. I can’t say it will be a lot.”
Carmen furrowed her eyebrows. “You’re not paying me a cent. That’s not why I want to help, Molly. Actually, I feel a little insulted.”
“Whoa, please don’t be upset.”
“Then don’t offer me money again.” Carmen’s tone was firm. Molly offering her money felt gross. Was she being irrational? Probably, but Carmen needed Molly to understand that she just wanted to contribute, because she cared.
“Noted, and I swear I will never offer you a single dime, ever again. Scout’s honor.”
“You’re not a scout.”
“I could be.”
“Really?”
“No, alright I couldn’t. But the promise is still the same.”
Carmen let herself relax again. “Alright, good. So, do you want to go over the website now?”
“Yes, let me grab Bessie and we can get to work.”
Carmen watched Molly scuttle off toward the ranch. Dressed in a fresh set of jean shorts and tank top, the woman screamed sexy. You’re letting Enid get in your head. You don’t know Molly, for god’s sake. That’s all it was. This crush Carmen was feeling was all make believe, brought on by Enid and Bessie’s meddling.
Shaking away her intrusive thoughts, Carmen headed inside to fetch her laptop. The kitchen was buzzing with laughter. Faith, Courtney, Lisa and Micah were sitting at the kitchen table playing cards. Faith flashed her a bright smile as she passed through the room. It hurt to think about, but Carmen knew Faith would be happy here with Molly.
Having kids her own age to hang around with had to beat nights in with Carmen and Mateo. Although, she knew Faith would miss them, as they would her. A blanket of acceptance settled on her shoulders. This was where Faith belonged and as long as she was happy, Carmen would be, too.
◆◆◆
The work session didn’t happen. Carmen was setting up her laptop when Molly rushed in. “I’m sorry Carmen, I need to leave. The shelter just called, they’re down two workers and they need help, otherwise they won’t be able to open tonight and that isn’t acceptable.”
“Hey, that’s fine. Do you need another body?”
“Really?”
Carmen laughed. “Yes, really. I mean what I say, Molly.”
“Great, grab… whatever it is you need and let’s haul ass.” Molly flashed a smile and gave two thumbs up.
“Where are you two going?” Faith called from the kitchen.
“To help out at one of the shelters,” Carmen shouted back without stopping. Molly was already sliding in the car and Carmen didn’t want to keep her waiting. She was also secretly happy they were going to have a little more time alone.
The shelter housed a dozen beds, a small kitchen and communal bathroom. Carmen wasn’t sure what to expect. The tsunami of emotions shouldn’t have come as a shock, but the sheer weight of them took her by surprise. Memories of holding Mateo’s hand as they stood in line, hoping to get a bed, filtered through her mind. It felt life a lifetime ago and yet the memories unearthed feelings so strong it could have happened yesterday.
“Hey, you okay?” Molly asked as they made their way through the room.
“Yeah, it’s just been a while,” Carmen answered vaguely. Only Mateo and Carmen’s therapist knew the full extent of her trauma and experiences. Honestly, though, the time she spent with Mateo in the shelter where Rita found them were some of the happiest memories she had. Everything before then was bullshit and painful, but Rita’s shelter had been the start of their lives.
There were several kids already lined up outside, waiting to see if they had a bed for the night. Carmen knew they would have to turn some of them away, and she hated it. “Everything is set up. We just need to get them settled and fed,” Molly called from the kitchen.
“Tell me what you want me to do.”
“You can get the food sorted while I let them in.”
Carmen was thankful Molly was going to take over allocating beds. A little space to acclimatize to once familiar surroundings was what she needed. Busying herself with sandwiches and drinks, Carmen settled in. The room outside was alive with quiet chatter. It was clear that some kids knew each other from either the shelter or the streets.
Making her way around the room, Carmen handed out food and drink, chatting with each person as she went. Considering what these people were going through, Carmen found them to be open books. Happy to talk about their backgrounds.
Lights out happened at 11:30 p.m. Molly took her turn patrolling the bed area, making sure no one had brought anything in which they shouldn’t. “They’re all settled,” Molly whispered. Carmen was sitting at one end of an old couch, tucked away in one corner of the room.
“It breaks my heart,” Carmen replied. The crack in her voice gave away how affected she was by being there.
“It’s hard, but all we can do is to be here for them. They’re tough kids.”
“They shouldn’t have to be. None of them deserve to be here. What the fuck is wrong with people?” Carmen’s distress was quickly turning to anger. Parents abandoning their kids was unforgivable.
“They don’t deserve it. I wish I could make everything better, for every kid that passes through here.” Molly’s eyes swam with unshed tears.
“I know you do,” Carmen assured. “You do a fantastic job, Molly.”
In the dim light, Carmen could just make out Molly’s features. Even in sadness, Molly Parsons was a captivating sight to behold.
How easy would it be to lean over and press those soft lips against her own? Carmen felt herself leaning in. Would Molly reciprocate? She never got to find out. A deafening crash outside the building entryway made both women jump.
Molly was on her feet in a second, with Carmen hot on her trail. The scene Carmen came across outside left her breathless. Slumped in the doorway was a young man, maybe eighteen. Blood poured down his face from a cut above his eye. He had a swollen and split lip.
“Can you hear me?” Molly questioned gently, laying her hands on him. The boy nodded and winced. Carmen swooped down and began checking his vital signs.
“We need to get him inside and cleaned up,” she said after determining nothing major was broken. The first aid course she’d taken finally came in handy.
Together, Molly and Carmen scooped the boy up and helped him to the couch. The disturbance had alerted the other kids. Curious and frightened faces greeted them as they laid him down.
Molly didn’t waste time comforting the scared youths. Carmen set about cleaning the blood from the boy’s face. “What’s your name, honey?” she asked softly.
“Darren,” he gasped.
“Can you tell me where it hurts?”
“My side. I think I have some broken ribs.”
“Can I look?”
Darren nodded before shifting slowly to allow Carmen a look at his left-hand side. Deep bruises marred his skin. Faint yellow bruises were also visible. This wasn’t the first time he’d been beaten.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“My dad caught me with my boyfriend,” he sobbed. Carmen gritted her teeth and willed the tears she felt forming to stay where they were. Darren needed her to be strong. Looking at him closer, the resemblance to a young Mateo almost bowled her over.
“You’re safe now, okay? I think we might need to take you to the emergency room—”
“No,” he shot, fear laced in his voice. “They’ll call him. If he finds me, I’m dead.” Carmen believed it. Looking at the damage done, she could well imagine the boy wouldn’t survive another round.
“Okay. No hospital. I need to monitor you, though.”
“Okay.”
Carmen spent several more minutes cleaning Darren up. She got him settled on his side and draped a blanket over his shivering body. “I’m going to make you a drink to help with the shock. Try to relax, okay?” Darren simply nodded, a single tear running down his cheek.
Molly was waiting for her in the kitchen, her face ashen. “How is he?”
“Hurting and scared. He won’t go to a hospital.”
“And his injuries?”
“It’s a safe bet he has a couple of broken ribs. The cut above his eye and lip have already stopped bleeding. I don’t think they need stitches. He needs to be watched tonight and woken regularly to make sure he doesn’t have a concussion.”
“Did he say how it happened?”
Carmen balled her hands into fists, anger coursing through her veins as she thought of the scumbag who’d hurt Darren. “His father. Caught Darren with his boyfriend.”
“Fucking bastard,” Molly hissed.
“My thoughts entirely.”
“He’ll need time to recover. The shelter isn’t the right place. I need to call Bessie.” Molly was talking to herself rather than Carmen, which was fine. Carmen began making a cup of sweet tea for Darren as Molly continued to mutter to herself. “I’ll be back in a minute,” Molly announced.
Carmen carried the tea to Darren, who was fast asleep. Hating herself a little, she nudged him awake. She wished she could let him sleep and forget for a little while, but the risk he had bumped his head took precedence. “You need to drink this. Can you tell me what day it is?”
Darren mumbled his answer, but Carmen didn’t mind. As long as he wasn’t confused, mumbling was okay. “I’m Carmen, by the way. I realized I didn’t introduce myself.”
“Thank you,” Darren said, looking into Carmen’s eyes.
“You have nothing to thank me for. Now, drink your tea.” Carmen sat silently next to him as he sipped his drink. A few minutes later, Molly bustled in.
“Hey Darren, I’m Molly.”
“Hi.”
“I know this is a lot and I’m sure you just want to go to sleep, but we need to make sure you have somewhere to stay.”
“I can’t stay here?”
“You need a place to heal. I help run a ranch for kids who need a place to stay. Would it be okay if we took you there?”
Darren studied Molly for a second and then looked at Carmen. The silent question was obvious. Darren wanted Carmen to tell him it was okay.
“It’s a great place, Darren. You’d be safe and have a place to recover.”
“Thank you,” he replied, this time to Molly.
“No worries, kid.” Molly shifted her attention to Carmen. “I’ve arranged for two other volunteers to relieve us. We need to get Darren back to the ranch ASAP.”
Half an hour passed before the relief volunteers showed up. After a quick hand-off, Carmen helped Molly walk Darren to her car. The ranch was lit up like a Christmas tree when they arrived. Bessie rushed out and assessed Darren. Mateo helped Carmen walk him inside and up the stairs.
“Faith is sleeping in Courtney’s room,” Bessie called as they scooted along the upstairs hall. It only took a few minutes to get Darren comfortable—well, as comfortable as possible with broken ribs.
“I made tea,” Enid whispered from the doorway. Molly was sitting at the kitchen table nursing something stronger than tea. Carmen slipped in next to her, took the glass from her hand, and downed the amber liquid. Without a word, Molly pulled over another glass and refilled them both.
“An eventful night, huh?” Bessie remarked.
“You okay?” Mateo asked quietly, his hand taking Carmen’s. All she could do was nod. No, she wasn’t okay, not in the least, but it wasn’t about her. Looking to the side, she caught Molly’s eye. Something passed between them, a new bond that needed to be explored, but not tonight.