Chapter 21
Faith
The past few days had been hard. Leaving Molly behind had almost torn Faith in two. The morning after the party had been full of hugs, kisses and crying. It had also been rife with tension. Something had happened between Carmen and Molly. They could hardly look at each other.
Faith silently blamed herself. Even though Molly said she was okay that Faith returned to Seattle with Carmen, clearly she wasn’t. Faith wondered if Molly and Carmen had fought at the party. They’d disappeared for a while and when they returned, neither could look at the other. Yes, that must be it. Faith’s decision to live with Carmen had caused a rift.
Molly had been all smiles and cheer when they’d said their goodbyes, promising to visit soon. They planned to Skype once a week. Faith watched Molly and Carmen say goodbye, and it was definitely awkward. Maybe she should talk to Carmen?
Faith brought nothing up, not when she saw Carmen’s posture. The woman was rigid the entire drive from California to Seattle. Mateo and Enid were unusually quiet, too. Maybe everyone was just feeling as sad as Faith?
That was an understatement. Two days back in Seattle, Faith was seriously questioning if she was still welcome in the Ruiz household. Carmen had retreated into work. Faith tried to converse, but when she only received bare minimum interaction she decided staying out of the way was a better option. What the hell had happened between Molly and Carmen? Something that meant Carmen was now regretting having her in the house, Faith thought.
Mateo was still his lovely self, so whenever he was around, Faith hung out with him. The problem was, Mateo was rarely around these days. As soon as they’d returned, Mateo sought Daniel and was spending most of his time outside of work with him.
To add to Faith’s anxiety levels, Nat hadn’t been to see her either. Rita had sent her away on a training course which wasn’t due to conclude for another two days.
Huffing out a frustrated breath, Faith headed out of the house. The silence was becoming insufferable. “Enid,” she called, opening her neighbor’s door.
“Hello, love,” Enid called from her kitchen. “Want a cocktail?”
“Sure,” Faith replied, wandering into the living room, throwing herself down on the couch.
“Well, that’s a sour face.” Enid stated. She was carrying two very large and sugary looking drinks. “Who’s put that look on your mush?”
Faith hadn’t told Enid of Carmen’s mood. “No one,” she lied.
“Cut the shit, kid, what’s going on? Are you regretting your decision to come back?”
“It’s not me who’s regretting it,” Faith snapped. It was unlike her to get snippy, so Enid’s raised eyebrows were warranted.
“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you act like a petulant teen. I like it.”
Faith grinned. “Sorry, Enid, I shouldn’t have snapped.”
“You didn’t. You’re clearly upset with someone though, so out with it.”
Faith huffed. “I think Carmen wishes I’d stayed in Cali.” There, it was out in the open and already Faith felt better for voicing her concern.
“Bullshit,” Enid laughed.
“Enid, you haven’t been in the house. Carmen doesn’t talk to me. Heck, she barely looks away from her laptop. She doesn’t want me there.”
“Oh, love, it’s not about you,” Enid soothed.
“Like hell it isn’t,” Faith growled. Where was this anger coming from?
“Alright, feisty,” Enid chuckled. “Have you asked her?”
“When do you suppose I do that? In the millisecond I see her when she goes from her room to the bathroom?”
“She’s really that bad?”
“Yup.” Faith’s shoulders dropped. “I think I’ll just save us both any more issues and pack up. Molly will be cool with me going back.”
“Right… wait there.” Faith didn’t have time to open her mouth before Enid shuffled out of the house at surprising speed. To her horror, Enid returned less than five minutes later with a harassed-looking Carmen. The only way she could have looked more scolded was if Enid held her by the ear like a naughty child.
“Sit,” Enid barked, directing Carmen to the sofa. Faith’s face paled. “Right, now repeat what you just said.” This time, Enid was talking to Faith.
“Um, it’s…”
“Come on, out with it.”
Faith swallowed the lump that sat in her throat. “Um, I said I was going to pack up and go back to Cali.”
“What?” Carmen whispered. Faith dragged her eyes from the carpet to Carmen’s face. What she saw was raw sadness and surprise, which confused the hell out of her. “Why?” Carmen choked.
It was time to bite the bullet. “Because Carmen, you’re clearly not happy I’m here. You’ve barely uttered a full sentence to me, and all you do is work in your room. Look, it’s okay. I get it, having a whole other person to look out for is a big deal.”
“No, Faith, it’s not a big deal.”
“Obviously it is,” Faith snapped. Carmen reared back a little. Closing her eyes, Faith admonished herself for being so short. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“No,” Carmen began, letting out an enormous sigh. “It’s me that should be apologizing. You’re right, I have been acting like a jerk since we left California. But Faith, I swear it has nothing to do with you being here. I’m so happy you are. Really!”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I think I’ve just had some stuff I need to work through.”
“Did you and Molly fall out?”
“What makes you think that?”
Faith didn’t miss how fidgety Carmen suddenly became. “Because you were both weird at the party and then hardly spoke. I thought you liked each other.”
Watching Carmen scratch the back of her head and then look everywhere but at Faith was interesting. “Honestly, we haven’t fallen out. I really am sorry for making you feel unwelcome.”
It was clear Carmen didn’t want to continue this line of conversation and Faith was going to respect that. “Okay. But look, if at any point you need me to leave, I’d prefer you to just be honest with me.”
Carmen looked genuinely hurt by Faith’s curt tone. “Faith, your home is here with me, Mateo, and Enid. There will never be a time I ask you to leave. Never!”
“Well, this was all a bit fucking deep,” Enid interrupted. “Anyone for a gummy?” Faith rolled her eyes, and Carmen laughed.
“Are we okay?” Carmen asked quietly, finding Faith’s gaze.
“Yeah, we’re good.”
“Great, let’s go get ice cream. You’re right, I have been spending way too much time working.”
“Really?” Faith asked excitedly.
“Absolutely!” Carmen nodded.
“Shotgun,” Enid shouted, shuffling at max speed toward the front door.
“Who said you were invited?” Carmen called winking at Faith.
“Ha, screw you, I’m the glue that holds this fucked up family together,” Enid cackled.
“She kind of is,” Faith muttered.
“Shh, don’t let her hear you say that.”
For the first time since the leaving party, Faith felt a modicum of happiness. Of course she missed Molly, and couldn’t wait to talk to her later, but Faith still felt her life was in Seattle. All she needed now was for Nathalie to come home. They were overdue some time together.
“Hey, where are you going?” Mateo called from the street.
“Ice cream,” Enid sang.
“Hell yeah, I’m getting in on that,” Mateo squealed.
“What, you’re actually gracing us with your time, Hermano?” Carmen mocked.
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I’ve been a little absent. Well, I’m here now and we’re going out on a family ice cream trip, so hush!”
They all climbed into Carmen’s car just like they had for their road trip. “Onward, Jeeves,” Enid said, snapping her fingers. Faith laughed.
◆◆◆
Life in the Ruiz/Parsons household—as Faith now affectionately called it—was as close to normal as possible. Once again, something Faith was very grateful for. Mateo was making more of an effort to spend time with her and Carmen. He admitted he’d got lost in the haze of dating and was neglecting his family. Faith couldn’t get too pissy, it was nice seeing Mateo happy. Daniel was good for him.
Carmen also turned herself around. Faith was still in the dark about what had actually made Carmen act so off, but she didn’t push it. If Carmen wanted to talk, she would.
However, the best thing about life right now was the fact that in one hour, Nathalie would be visiting. Those two days of waiting for the training course to end had crawled by. It didn’t help that Nathalie was unable to message and call a lot because of her hectic schedule.
Running a comb through her hair for the tenth time, Faith inhaled deeply. Why was she so nervous? Oh yeah, because even though she and Nathalie hadn’t even shared their first kiss yet, they had partaken in a little bit of phone sex.
Nothing had changed between them, and yet Faith felt everything had. Would it be awkward between them now? Would Nathalie expect them to take the next step? Was Faith ready for that? Her body said yes. In fact, it was almost begging Faith to do the deed. Ever since their phone date, Faith experienced nightly dreams that left her squirming the next morning. It was safe to say Faith was no longer worried about masturbation. She’d made up for the years missing out in just a handful of days.
“Chica, you have a visitor?” Mateo called. Faith’s heart rate spiked. How had an hour gone by already?
Skipping out of her room, Faith ran full speed into Nathalie’s arms. “I missed you so much,” she breathed into her girlfriend’s neck. Nathalie’s arm engulfed her tightly. Faith smiled as she felt Nathalie’s lips press gently against her temple.
“I missed you, too.”
“God, you’re so cute. It’s kinda gross.” Mateo gagged, mocking them mercilessly. Faith didn’t care, she needed to feel Nathalie close.
“Come on, let’s go to my room.” Glaring at Mateo as they passed, Faith pulled Nathalie into her bedroom. Now they were truly alone, the air shifted. For a time they simply stood there grinning like idiots at each other.
“You got a tan,” Nathalie smiled, her hand coming up to stroke Faith’s face. Closing her eyes, Faith leaned into the touch.
“Yeah, it’s kinda hard not to get some sun at the ranch.”
“Maybe when you visit, I could go with you?”
“God, yes,” Faith exclaimed. “I talked so much about you, Molly would whoop my butt if I turned up without you.”
“You talked about me?” Nathalie grinned.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Faith confessed.
“A little bit of me is really relieved to hear you say that,” Nathalie sighed.
Sensing something deeper, Faith stepped forward, cupping her girlfriend’s face in her hands. “Were you worried?”
Nathalie’s eyes shone with emotion. “Maybe a smidge.”
“Why?”
“Because I like you so much, and I got scared you wouldn’t come back to me.”
Caressing Nathalie’s cheek with her thumb, Faith drew closer. They may have done things a little backward, but that didn’t make their first kiss any less monumental. The first touch of Nathalie’s lips sent shivers down Faith’s spine. Their noses brushed gently. Nathalie moved her hands to Faith’s hips, pulling them even closer.
As much as Faith wanted to keep her eyes open and locked onto this wonderful woman, the sensation and pleasure became too much. Closing her eyes, Faith allowed her other senses to take over. The smell of Nathalie’s skin, the feel of her tongue gently brushing against Faith’s lower lip. Instinctively she opened, granting Nathalie entrance. If Faith thought the kiss was good before, she was completely floored when Nathalie’s tongue danced with her own.
A groan slipped from her throat as Nathalie ran her hands over Faith’s ass, squeezing gently. With her pulse thundering in her ears, Faith knew she needed to bring the kiss to a close before she took it to a level she wasn’t quite ready for.
Sensing Faith’s thoughts, Nathalie gently withdrew, a lazy grin plastered on her face. “Wow,” she whispered against Faith’s lips.
“Uh huh, totally wow,” Faith replied, her eyes unfocused and her feet unsteady.
“That was some first kiss.”
“That was everything,” Faith gasped. Her body was thrumming and her mind was mash potato.
“Are you okay?” Nathalie chuckled. Her lips grazing over Faith once again, sending a visible shudder through Faith’s body.
“Hmm,” Faith hummed.
Nathalie laughed louder, taking a step back. “I think I should stay at least a foot or two away from you until we’ve both cooled down.”
Faith didn’t answer, she just nodded bringing her fingers to her lips, still very much lost in a post first kiss haze. Nathalie smiled a cocky grin, perching on the edge of Faith’s desk. “So, come on, how are you feeling being back? Sorry I couldn’t call more.”
Finally, coming to her senses, Faith sat on the end of her bed, cross-legged. “I’m feeling much better now you’re back. It was a little intense at first. Something was going on with Carmen, but that seems to have passed now.”
“Any idea what was wrong?”
“Not sure, but I think it had something to do with Molly. I hope they didn’t have a falling out.”
“I’m sure they’re fine. If not, it’s not your problem, babe.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I was thinking…”
“You were thinking?”
“Would you mind if I chatted with your aunt? I think I would like to do something similar to Molly, but without all the moving.”
Nathalie’s smile grew. “That’s an excellent idea. Rita is always looking for help, especially from young queer people. She loves to mentor. Any idea what you want to do?”
“Um, I think, eventually I’d like to help counsel kids. I know I need a degree to be a professional, but if there is something I can do now, I want to.”
Nathalie slipped off the desk and made her way to Faith. “You would be an excellent counselor. Rita will love the idea. There’s a bunch of courses she can sign you up for. I bet she would even help you look into college if that’s what you want.”
Nathalie’s excitement was infectious. “Really, you think I could go to college?” College had always been a faraway dream. Eventually Faith pushed it to the back of her mind to stop herself from feeling disappointed. It was better to expect nothing, so she wouldn’t feel let down. But since Carmen and Mateo had given her a place where she could make her dreams come true, her mindset was changing. To have her girlfriend support her was the cherry on top of the metaphorical cake.
“Babe,” Nathalie cooed. “You can absolutely go to college and you will smash it.”
Surging forward, Faith wrapped herself around Nathalie, capturing those plump lips in a scorching kiss. “Thank you,” she gasped when they came up for air. Faith noted she was on top of Nathalie, her thigh in between her girlfriend’s. All it would take was a few well-placed hip rolls. Calm down, not yet.
“You’re welcome,” Nat mumbled, her lips tracing Faith’s neck. Faith closed her eyes and did the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She pulled herself away and sat on the opposite side of the bed.
“Sorry,” Faith began. She didn’t want Nathalie to feel as if she were teasing her.
“No, don’t apologize. You’re right to pull back. I don’t want us to have a quickie the first time we’re together.” Sitting up, Nathalie took Faith’s hand in her own. “When we do that, I want us both to be ready.”
“Me too. I’m… I’m almost there. I just, I don’t know, I just need a little more time.”
“Baby, there is no rush. I’m not entirely ready yet either. It’s a big deal. I know a lot of people my age would find it stupid that I want it to be perfect. But it’s how I feel.”
“Me, too.”
“We can still make out, though.”
“Absolutely. But maybe not right now. I think I could do with a cold shower first.” They both fell into giggles.
“Do you want to go out for food and then head over to my place? Rita should be there.”
“Yeah, that would be awesome.”
Faith watched Nathalie head out the bedroom door, her gaze firmly on her girlfriend’s ass. She has the best butt in the world.
“Come on, you can check my ass out later. I need something to take the edge off my raging hormones. I’m thinking of pizza.”
“Raging hormones, huh?” Carmen laughed from the hallway. Faith saw Nathalie’s face grow red. Neither of them had paid the slightest bit of attention to their surroundings.
“Hey, Carm,” Nathalie grinned.
“Hey, yourself. Now what’s this I heard about pizza?”
“We were going to get something to eat and then head over to Nat’s.”
“Mind if I tag along? I need a quick word with your aunt.”
Well, Faith needed something to temper her libido, and what was better than a big sister figure playing third wheel.
“Sure,” Faith chirped. Her eye caught Nathalie’s, and she knew they were on the same wavelength. Shooting a wink, Faith passed Nathalie, giving her ass a quick squeeze.
“Naughty,” Nathalie whispered in her ear.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Faith grinned.
“Oh Jesus, are you going to be like this the entire time?” Carmen moaned.
“Probably,” Nathalie laughed.
“Right, that calls for backup then.” Carmen grabbed her wallet and car keys. Confused, Faith and Nathalie followed Carmen out the door. Both burst into laughter when Carmen walked up to Enid’s house.